


Of Beasts and Men

by GreenDrea



Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Skyrim Romance Mod - Fandom
Genre: Dragonborn - Freeform, F/M, Family, Multi, Other, Paladin, Werewolf, lycanthropy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-21 23:16:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 169,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14295600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenDrea/pseuds/GreenDrea
Summary: Rudia, or Ruru for her friends, has just finished her training at the Bards College and is on her way to her very first performance as a fully-fledged bard. But when chaos errupts and the whole town burns she does not know yet that destiny has chosen her to become much more than a voice to bring joy. She has been chosen to become a voice of power, a voice of hope and a voice to safe all of Tamriel."And what is it about that mage-girl I met after the destruction of Helgen? Falling for a werwolf? Gods, why must I carry the burden to protect everyone? I cannot do this all alone, I'm just a farmgirl that became a bard!"Heroes are not born, they are made.Join my friend Ruru and me as we give you another story based on and inspired by the Skyrim Romance Mod. We bring you yet another story to why Bishop and Casavir hate oneanother, why Bishop hates bards and why he hates mages (gods, that man is a grump), but who knows, maybe they will get along one day - with the right women to root for them. ;)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Again, because I am not all that good portraying females that are not me, I am a version of me. I also got Ruru to be a version of herself as well, which made this story even more fun to write. I know self-inserts are often frowned upon and technically We could rename them after writing the sory for ourselves, but I see it this way: The Drea that I portray in a story is not me. She has different (if similar) experiences and is her own being. Her name is Drea. It is a name that she is bound to - just as anyone is - , she was given it after her birth, it is a part of her. I can absolutely encourage anyone who writes a story to hav a self-insert. It is way easier to be yourself than be someone else. You know of your flaws, of your preferences, your fears. There is no shame in sharing them with the world because we all are imperfect and that is what makes us so great. Your story is unique, just as much as any character you can come up with. 
> 
> The chapters this time are not named, I numbered them after we had long written hundreds of pages.  
> Enjoy your read and as always let us know what you think. 
> 
> Lots of Love from the Bunny and the Kitten!

On the road from Riverwood to Helgen a large horse rose to stand on its hindlegs when the small pack of wild wolves attacked. The young woman on its back held fast onto the saddle, and gave a sharp yelp. Then the horse stomped downwards. A short whine told the woman the horse had incapacitated one of the beasts. She pulled the reins and hit her heels against the horse's sides. The animal sprung into a gallop and the small pack followed, growling and barking. 

The woman turned to glance over her shoulders and pointed her palm towards the beasts. A strong fireball formed and shot across the distance. The smell of burning fur and whining allowed the rider the few precious seconds to hurry forward faster. 

Uphill she saw the three standing stones. Thief, Mage and Warrior. She had read of them, but hadn’t seen one till now. But she didn't stay to marvel. She had an appointment and it had taken her weeks to get from the capital of Skyrim to this far south of the province. 

Helgen nestled at the crossroads where a traveler could easily find their way to Cyrodiil, or to the far east or west, and of course north to the wild, merciless regions of Skyrim. Now that the beasts no longer pursued them, the young lady slowly caressed the horse's neck to calm it down.

"We're in no hurry now, Milka. Those beasts won't get to us now."

She started to hum a melody while she petted the black and white horse, and eventually the horse calmed down to a slow trot. 

"There you go, good girl", the young woman praised with a smile as she took the reins to one hand and let the horse trot forward. Looked like another night out camping, but by tomorrow she’d reach Helgen. A warm bed would be nice.

  
  


The next afternoon was already waning when she saw the gates of Helgen come into view. A wide smile spread across her face. She was finally here.

Helgen was a smaller town than Solitude. Or Riverwood, where she had been last, for that matter. Typical to a border town it had strong walls and gates that stood open during daylight. The guards greeted the woman politely seeing her lute secured in her pack. They hoped the woman might play up in the nearby tavern given she was clearly a bard and one of them friendly voiced this.

 

"I would be honored to entertain any patrons with my voice and lute, good gentlemen", the woman said politely, realizing she had made a slight innuendo, but she kept her giggling inside her head. 

The guards let her in after the formalities were over and done with. She dismounted her horse and took the reins to walk her to the stables. She dutifully took off the saddle, brushed her fur, fed and made sure she would have plenty of fresh water to drink before she walked over to the tavern. 

 

It was fairly easy to handle out an arrangement with the man behind the bar. His usual bard recently had gotten ill and could not play up and so Rudia was welcome to stay and play for a bed, a warm meal and any coin the patrons gave her. She did not fuss long and just took a bath after the road had gotten her smelly and dirty. A good bard did not only make sure to sing and play well, but also to keep themselves clean and good-looking was what her teachers at the college had said. And the performances all through Skyrim had taught the young woman that it indeed payed better to be clean and pretty. She now made an effort to wear a clean dress to all her performances and be clean with her hair made.

Half an hour later she got out of her room, nicely groomed and her lute in hand. A few patrons had already come by now and looking around the tavern Rudia figured this tavern was busy in the evening hours. The barkeep had already broken a few kegs and a bunch of dishes were ready to be filled with stew and other food. Yes, this was a busy tavern. 

 

Rudia tuned her lute carefully before she strummed the strings. Shortly after she started to sing all the possible songs she had been taught. She knew the ballads of High Rock, she knew the legends of Skyrim. She sang of the warriors of Hammerfell and the ever changing sands of Elsweyr. When she didn't sing, she played her lute, improvising most of the melodies. If she could, she tried to make up some lines for the tunes, as well, but she mostly just played. 

The patrons listened and cheered, coins were given for requests which the bard gladly fulfilled. 

She enjoyed singing, that was clear from the sweet smile she constantly had on her face. And her voice enraptured those that heard it.

 

It was late at night when the last patrons strolled out of the tavern to go home. Rudia fell into the bed and her eyes were closed before she could even think of counting sheep. It would be a big day tomorrow, she would perform for nobility after all. 

 

In the morning she got ready with her best dress and some perfume before stepping outside to go to the fort. The sky was covered in clouds and it was clear it would rain around noon. Rudia was glad it was not a day earlier. She did not like riding in the rain and getting soaked. 

Just as she thought that and looked up again a strange noise was heard. She did not know anything like this but for some unknown reason it planted fear in her heart.

 

She approached the fort, hearing that terrifying roar in the distance once more. More people around her stopped and turned their heads to listen. 

"What was that, papa?" a small boy asked.

"I don't know, son. It's not thunder, that much is for sure", the father answered.

Rudia hurried her steps. Whatever released such earth shattering roars was looming in the far distance, it seemed to head right in this city's direction. She'd better get somewhere safe as soon as possible.

 

She hurried to the fort but before she reached it hell broke loose. Suddenly fire rained from the sky and Rudia could see a man getting hit by it. He fell to the ground, burning and screaming. The sight terrified her and she stood in shock for a moment before another fireball right next to her broke the spell and she stumbled away, closer to the fort that was close now. she had to find cover, had to stay alive. 

Another fireball crushed down right in front of her and as she fell backwards her spine screamed from pain as her lute broke under her weight and made room for her back. 

 

Rudia gasped for air and jumped on her feet. The lute was crushed to pieces now. It had been a gift from the headmaster of the bard's college. A finely made, brand new lute for an accomplished student. 

Then more fireballs rained from the sky and Rudia hurried towards the fort. She only prayed that Milka had been able to run away from this chaos. Somewhere safe. 

Another burning man stumbled in front of her and the smell made her stomach turn upside down. She fought against the reflex to gag with her strong will and continued to run. Many people were hurrying to find cover... and just as many were dying from being burned alive.

Then a large shadow of winged creature flew over her. When she looked up, she saw a large, black scaled beast, breathing fire upon the running people and the whole city. Wads that a… dragon? Screams and cries filled the air just as thick as the smoke that now rose from the burning buildings. 

A soldier pushed her towards the fort, urging her to hurry if she was still living and breathing. And she did in a haze. Right now all she could think of was that creature. "A dragon. Like in the legends." she mumbled.

She heard the roars and screams outside the fort just like anyone who made it inside. The smell of burned flesh and smoke filled the air and people were crying and calling for their beloved ones. A child with half of it’s hair burned off its head stumbled past Rudia, crying for its mama and in a haze she realized it held a burned piece of cloth in the hand of the burned side of its body. It looked like a ripped and burned piece of a dress and she did not want to think about what happened to the mother. Her back hurt terribly and now that she was safer she began to feel the pain.

 

She could apply healing magic on herself... if she could reach her back, but right now... she had to endure. She had to stay strong. Keep her head clear. 

More and more people stumbled inside and soldiers hurried them further inside. As it got night and the fire did not rain from the sky anymore the guards began to sort out help for the wounded and a few healthy people, Rudia included were brought downstairs. 

"There are caves that lead outside of the city. We must hurry to Falkreath, the jarl will help you in this time of need."

Rudia followed along the men and women. As they reached the basement level, a corridor collapsed, and there were more screams and crying. The attack had taken its toll on the fort. If anyone was underneath that rubble, it was all too late for help. 

Rudia felt like crying. She had never faced such misery anywhere. Not even back in High Rock from where she grew up. Thinking of home made her eyes moisten with tears, and she hugged herself to keep herself from breaking.  _ No, not now, just stay calm, focus.  _

 

With a few provisions they were sent to the nearby cities to get help while the guards would try and restore order. Rudia thought of Milka. But the town was burning. Even if her horse had survived it would be impossible to find her. Her heart was heavy as she followed the guard downstairs to the tunnel. Once they were in the caves under the fort the guard shut the gates and raised the drawbridge.

 

The caves were dark, and Rudia created a few mage lights to light the steps of the people. But the caves had not been checked on regularly so of course some wild beasts had taken shelter inside it. Giant spiders, bears and other vermin nestled there now. 

Rudia had lost her weapons in the attack, but she still had her magic. She took her anger and frustration upon the creatures, spicing her spells with her emotions, screaming out of her own pain and agony just as well. 

 

Rudia was not the only one fighting with magic. Although not many people were magically talented, and even less so in Skyrim, there was a young woman with brown hair that fought with magic, just as hard as the others. To Rudia it was clear the young woman had no experience fighting but she did not do too bad. Mainly because her magic was impressive. Rudia had never seen anyone with such powerful magic and she had been taken to Winterhold once. The woman cloaked herself with wind magic and threw ice spikes while her illusions distracted the wildlife. The staff the mage carried in her hand looked more like a hindrance than a help, Rudia thought. 

They stepped out of the caves not too much later. the smoke and ashes from the burning town blew over the cliff and made them cough and cover their faces.

 

The first thought that came to Rudia's mind was to call for Milka with a whistle. Maybe her loyal mount had survived. As she walked and coughed and tried to find clean air to breathe, she stumbled and ungracefully fell on her face. When life gives lemons....

Rudia stood up and rather frustratingly shook her dress to clean it. Then she saw a tear in the fabric. This dress had been one of her best and she had saved up the money for it with her performances in the capital. Now it was ruined. 

"What next? A bandit dancing ballet? I'd just love some entertainment", she mumbled in a sarcastic manner. Yes, when she was pissed off, she always became like this. 

 

The young mage came over to her and looked at her. “Want me to fix it?”

 

"This is the finest silk from the Summerset Isles, it's not  _ fixed  _ with needles!" Rudia snapped. 

 

‘What an arrogant woman’ the mage thought and stepped away. She had only wanted to help and after all this terrible chaos this woman should have worse troubles than an expensive dress. People had died. She put on her pack and walked forward. She did not know Skyrim and it was dark already. Finding the way to the next settlement would be difficult but she’d manage somehow. There was a road nearby the guard had said. 

 

Rudia realized her rudeness all too late. She wanted to apologize to the woman, but the mage had already turned around. Cursing, she walked forward, and put two fingers in her mouth and whistled sharply. She waited awhile, and whistled again. Her eyes scanned the landscape, hoping to see or hear the familiar gallop of her friend and companion. 

"Please...." she cried now and whistled again. 

A soldier pushed her to walk. "It's dangerous to stand here, woman. Step on it."

Rudia glanced at the soldier. "But my horse..."

"You're lucky enough to be alive", he said coldly and the bard felt her heart being crushed by grief. 

 

They split up once they were on the road. Some would go via Falkreath to the other holds and some via Riverwood, while others would get around Helgen and head for Riften and Ivarstead. Rudia and the mage were put into the group heading around helgen towards Riften.

They walked in silence and only held short breaks to keep their strength. It would take days to get to Ivarstead and about two weeks til they’d get to Riften. Rudia watched the mage carefully. She meant to apologize but the mage made such a grumpy face that she was not sure about it right now. Perhaps later. They would travel together for a few days after all. Without her stuff. She dreaded wearing a fancy dress while everyone else wore normal clothes. At least they had been given some cloaks to survive the cold of the pass.

 

As Rudia walked, she sometimes whistled for her horse. The little hope she had was diminishing every time she realized Milka would not heed her call. Silent tears fell and froze on her cheeks. She had found her abandoned, scared and alone, and she had done so much work to take care of her so that she would see no one would ever bring any harm to her. During all those months she had hurried to the stables to take care of her and keep her company. She had trained her to be a riding horse, along with her own studies as a bard. All her classmates had made fun of it, that she was spending her time with the stable boys, but the truth was, she had always turned down any and all invitations good young men had given her. She just... wasn't all that interested. She knew well what men wanted, and she was different from any woman. She wanted a man that would share everything with her, not just the bed.

And now, her Milka was probably dead. Burned alive... or if she had managed to run away, the wilderness would surely devour her. More tears froze on her cheeks. And only a few days ago, she had been humming and calming her precious friend down from a wolf attack.

"Talk about foreshadowing", she mumbled.

  
  


It was three days later, they had reached the crossway to Ivarstead, when the mage sat down next to her. A part of the group had already left for Ivarstead and Windhelm and they were only four people now. Rudia, the mage and two men who were currently debating wildly about the way they should go. Shouting at each other was likely the better word. 

“Are you alright?” the brunette asked her carefully. “I am sorry about your loss.” 

 

Rudia glanced at the woman. She tried to find her voice again, but when she opened her mouth, only sobs came out, and what words she had on her tongue were incoherent in the midst of her hiccups.

"I'm sorry, as well. I was so rude to you. I just was so angry..."

 

“My name is Andrea. What is yours?” Her voice was friendly and there was no sign of her being still angry about what was said. 

 

Rudia took a deep breath and calmly introduced herself. "Rudia J'Aee, from High Rock. Friends call me Ruru."

 

“Drea.” the woman said then. “But if you like Andrea better that’s fine, too. I’m from Cyrodiil.” There was a small pause before the woman continued and spoke about why she had been in Helgen. She spoke about her magic and that she was having severe trouble keeping it under control. Ruru had never heard about a mage not being able to control their magic, but perhaps it had something to do with how powerful it was. There were tales and ballads about mages and magical outbursts. Perhaps it was something like this? She listened as the friendly woman concluded that she had been on her way to the college of Winterhold in hopes of finding help there. 

“What about you? High Rock is not exactly around the corner either.”

 

Ruru just shook her head. "It's the familiar story. An ordinary girl from an ordinary home dreams of being a famous bard and on her coming of age she embarked to travel to Solitude to become a student in the Bards' College. I've only recently finished my studies there and I was sent to Helgen to perform to the nobility there. Well... it didn't quite go as planned."

 

The other woman was quiet for a moment before she asked very carefully “Who...who did you lose? I… At first I thought you were quite arrogant for caring so much about a dress when people had died but I guess you were just as terrified as everyone.” She looked embarrassed. “But you also cried so much the past days that I thought you lost family, too.”

 

Ruru's eyes filled with tears once more. She stood up to whistle long and sharply, and the sound echoed around them for a long time. "My Milka... My horse. My companion."

 

Now, Andrea was not a person to care much for animals, but she was compassionate enough to understand that other people cared about their pets. This woman clearly had loved her horse when she cried so much for it. 

“I’m sorry for your loss. Is there anything I can do for you?”

The two men a bit further were still shouting at each other but here they sat and talked about loss. Ruru was unsure about it. Her world had crumbled at Helgen and she had to be strong. But her heart was weeping for Milka and as more tears fell down her cheeks she suddenly found herself in the embrace of the other woman. There were soothing words, phrases that were told to anyone who went through a hard time but they still meant a lot to Ruru. She felt she could let go and cry if she wanted to.

 

Fighting against tears was a war she only lost when she was alone and in the comfort of her own room. But right now, as the young woman held her so closely and comfortingly, she wept and wailed like a wounded animal. It wasn't far from the truth. Everything she had possessed was now ashes in the wind, and her dearest Milka was gone. Her home was far, and she had nothing but her magic and the fancy dress and the fine fur boots. Nothing but heartache. And she cried her pain away on Drea's shoulder.

 

Drea had not lost much in the fire. She had not possessed much to begin with and so she was stable in her feelings. But she still cried. She could not help it when someone suffered so much. There were times when terrible things happened and she just could not feel anything but right now her eyes spilled as much water as Ruru’s. But after a while they both felt like they had cried enough and cleaned their faces and noses by the stream. To both of them it felt good having been able to unbottle and they felt relieved now. Drea offered again to fix Ruru’s dress and this time Ruru took the offer and with surprise watched as the mage seamlessly fixed it. Only when Ruru looked very close she could see the ripped spot where the thread had been woven together once more. So Drea was not only able to wield power but also could do such delicate things. When Ruru wanted to thank the woman though she could see what she had meant by not being able to control her magic. She looked exhausted.

 

Ruru tilted her head and then took Drea's hands. "Your magicka is clearly unstable. I do not know if I can help, but next time you use magic, try to concentrate on a single point and let your magicka through slowly and steadily. Like a finger or the center of your palm", the bard instructed. "You should seek out a master, however."

 

“I know that, but it does not work. none of it does work. Which is why I had to leave home, but sadly I have to learn how to use my magicka. At first everyone said it would be alright and I could just not use it and it would not harm anyone. Until I almost burned down the house when I had a nightmare. Don’t worry, though,” she said quickly as she saw Ruru’s look. “I’m doing better now. Just it is still hard to not let it get out of control.”

 

Ruru only nodded. Her knowledge was limited when it came to magic, to her it came naturally, and she only had needed some education. Bardic arts were more of her thing, all the stories and legends she could tell in songs were enough for her. She just had to find a new start to her career.

 

They talked about this and that for a while until finally the men had stopped arguing and they took the road. More due to the women stating they would do that than the men actually having gotten to a conclusion. But it was alright in the end. Just another day ahead one of them went to a smaller town nearby and the heavy air got lighter. By now Ruru and Drea had gotten to know each other a little better and talked a lot. To Ruru it was a welcome distraction from her loss. She spoke to Drea about Milka and about the lute that broke when the attack happened and Drea patiently listened to her story and declared: “We should keep an eye open for a new lute when we get to Riften. If you like we could travel together after that. I am not in a hurry to get to Winterhold or we even could travel there together. If you want that is.”

 

Ruru pondered for a moment. "I was planning to return to Solitude. But we can travel together till then."

 

Drea nodded. She had no hurry and in fact had planned on seeing Solitude herself. The nords did not have much use for magic and so she first had wondered why the mages in Cyrodiil would send her here. But apparently Nords, because they were so against magic, had issues like this more commonly than Bretons or Aldmer who had ways of getting rid of such problems at an early age. They had also warned her that mages like that often turned to necromancy because it required a lot of magical power and they were often desperate or even went crazy. Drea did not want to end like this. She knew that in anger she had magic outbursts and she had accidentally harmed others with this. But if she just tried hard enough she’d be alright. They would not avoid her and she would not have to avoid them. 

She watched Ruru from the side. She liked the woman who was a little bit like a kitten. When she was happy she sure looked like one at least. 

 

As Ruru slowly recovered from the loss of her friend during the travel, she started to sing songs about the old legends. Especially Dragonborn, since it was one of the most popular songs in Skyrim. She, too, liked to sing it. Of course she was still heartbroken, but it was no use dwelling on it. She would make sure that she'd bury Milka, figuratively, and make peace with her agony when she was ready for it.  _ Be yourself and take one step at a time _ is what what her mother always told her.  _ Always aim to see the bright side of things. _

  
  


The bright side of things was hard to find when they finally arrived at Riften. The Jarl listened to the news they brought when a man hurried into the throne room and declared a Dragon was attacking the watchtower to the north. First the Jarl had looked like she did not exactly believe them but when the guard came in and spoke of dragons, too she decided that it had to be brought down and who better to send on this task than the people who claimed they had survived a dragon attack on Helgen. 

Ruru couldn't believe her own ears. "But, my lady, with due all respect, we barely made it out alive from Helgen! If a one beast like that is able to burn down a city within a day's end, just imagine what it's able to do with measly mortals like ourselves! I have no ways of fighting it, other than my magic and it's barely enough to keep wild animals away!"

 

The Jarl clapped her hands and called for an armour for Ruru and for Drea and the man, too. She clearly had not gotten Ruru’s message and instead expected them to go and defend the city. 

 

Ruru felt angry. She had always thought that jarls, kings and queens knew nothing of the outside world. Nothing of their people. All they cared about was money, and food.  _ They feast upon the lives of those with less fortune and complain only when their meal is interrupted. _ she remembered her father once say at the breakfast table. Truer words had never been said.

"At least give me daggers to defend myself with." she pleaded as politely as possible, keeping her thoughts far from her tone.

 

She was presented with a set of daggers from the armory while Drea next to her struggled with the armour that was put on her. Drea had her staff and her magic to fight, but a dragon? That thing had rained fire upon the city and killed everyone! How on Nirn would they be able to even stay alive? But it was no use. Somehow she was caught in this mess and if she was lucky she’d not die. Or lose limbs. 

 

Ruru spun the daggers in her hands. At least they felt well made and balanced. But still. A dragon. 

"Milka, I'll see you in the afterlife", she said quietly as the last strips of her armor were tightened.

 

After the armours were put on they were marched out of town to the watchtower by a small village right by Riften. Aspenhill or so. It was clear everyone had stopped their work in a hurry and hidden somewhere. They could hear the roaring again. The same terrifying roaring that had been there before Helgen was attacked. 

“Stay close to me.” Drea said to Ruru. "I can shield us from the fire if it does not get too powerful.”

 

Ruru stayed right at Drea's side, watching at the sky, where the roaring echoed. First from far away, then all of a sudden its large shadow swept over them. Every hair in Ruru's body stood up and her instincts told her to run to the nearest cover. With her willpower alone she was able to stand her ground and chant a spell. She followed the dragon's flight and shot ice spikes towards it.

"Hit the wings! If we can bring it down, it'll be easier to kill!"

Or maybe not. It would just eat them alive as a light snack.

 

The dragon clearly was not like the one at Helgen. Both of them had caught a look at the beast there. What Ruru did not know was that Drea had been outside for most of the fighting before the Dragon had left, probably pleased with the destruction. Drea, although terrified had seen the beast fly and that it used his voice to summon magic. Or perhaps it was just speaking every time it did, but she warned Ruru of that while summoning a shield of magic to absorb any incoming magical attacks. It was big enough for Ruru to be inside and protected as well and next she wove an encouragement spell on Ruru. It was Ruru’s first time experiencing this. It felt amazing. as if someone had given her a flaming sword to slay her enemy with. She barely grasped the woman in front of her forcing her to look into her eyes and telling her to not go nuts because she was still not invincible.

 

Ruru concentrated on the feeling inside of her and she brought her palms close together, as if she was holding an invisible ball between them. She chanted her spell, watched it grow and take more power of her emotions. Then, in a swift movement, she threw a powerful ice spell at the dragon, causing it to crash land further away from the village. 

It was in the air again before they could reach it and the archers shot arrows at the beast rapidly. Everyone was desperately trying to bring the beast down, even more so after it grabbed one of the men and dragged him off only to drop him from a hundred meters above. Drea tried to make him fall slow but when he hit the ground he immediately got stomped by the dragon who landed on top of him.

Ruru didn't hesitate. She readied another spell, weaker this time because her magica had long not replenished but it was better than nothing she thought and walked forward till she saw the dragon standing on the road, with its wing dragging along the ground. She unleashed the spell and it hit the dragon, who breathed fire upon them.

Thanks to Drea's shield they were spared from the worst of it, but even so the heat was immense and suffocating. Ruru had no more magicka to use, so she drew her daggers.

"Just give me an opening! If I can drive the blades to its head, it's as good as dead!"

Ruru shouted as she tried to get to the beast, but Drea forced her back into hiding. “Dammit! I said don’t do crazy shit!” she swore before the Dragon disarmed the surrounding men and women with another strange shout. They all hurriedly picked up their weapons but the dragon was already in the air again, his powerful wing strikes throwing half of them over.

The fight lasted for a long time. It was as if the beast was playing with them, knowing they fought out of desperation like a naked man in a hagraven nest. 

Then more troops came and the dragon got distracted by all the different targets that bravely fought it.

Shielded by powerful wards Ruru leapt forward with the daggers in hand, and released a flurry on the beast from the side. As the irritated, agonized beast turned to the woman, Drea shot another ice spell to distract it. Another onslaught of Ruru's daggers drove the beast into mad rage, and as it was about to bite Ruru, the woman swiftly jumped on top of its head and drove the blades deep into its skull.

The beast struggled, but death eventually made it go still... and Ruru slid off the scaly head, stumbling ungracefully to the road, gasping and wondering if she was still alive.

 

But there was no time for Ruru to relax. Suddenly powerful magic came over her and she could feel it inside of her soul. As if her very being was ripped open and filled with… something. Memories filled her, memories that were not her own, flying, mountains, mortals cowering and praying. Her mind faded and she was consumed before everything went dark.


	2. Chapter 2

Ruru came to when she felt a soft hand touch her forehead. She turned her head to the direction of the person she felt right next to her and mumbled: "Mother? I saw a very weird dream. I was flying. I had scaly wings on my back and I was flying... and snatched a cow and ate it on top of a mountain...."

A moist cloth landed on her forehead now, then it was being pressed all over her face and neck. 

"Do not worry, child. It was only a dream."

The voice was not her mother's. Ruru's eyes shot wide open and the light of the candles blinded her for a second before she was able to see. She looked around the room, which was far too lavishly decorated to be a simple room of a tavern. Expensive tapestries covered most of the engraved wooden walls, a large fireplace was lit, and the mattress underneath her was comfortable. On the floor she saw expensive, decorative rugs with patterns on them.

"Where...?" she asked. "Am I dead? Is this the Palace of the Dead?"

Her tone was almost sarcastic. The older woman she had never seen before chuckled and rose to stand. She exited the room and closed the door behind her. Ruru could hear muffled words spoken, and then the door opened again. 

The jarl came in with her escort, as was proper, and Ruru tried to sit up, but the jarl gestured her to be still and rest.

 

For a tiny moment Ruru caught Drea’s face peeking into the room before the doors were closed again. Then the jarl began to speak of great honour and the dragon and that Ruru did a great thing for them all and would be rewarded once she’d feel better.

 

Ruru's head was spinning. All this talk of honor and high rewards just seemed... so distant to a simple woman like herself. She was just a bard. She knew her manners, of course, but to be treated like a hero of old legends just made her feel faint. 

She could only nod and answer with short words to the jarl's words. Eventually she was left alone to rest. 

 

Outside Drea bowed to the Jarl as the woman passed and then looked back to the door. So she was not allowed to see Ruru. She hoped so much Ruru was feeling alright. The Jarl had declared that no-one was to be allowed near the woman who saved them and she had called Ruru a dragonborn. Now Drea had no idea what that was but the Nord men and woman who saw Ruru kill the beast had said the same and so she had asked. From what they had said the dragon had not hit Ruru with a last powerful attack but it was the dragon’s soul that went into Ruru and she was a sort of legendary heroine who could kill dragons. It all sounded strange to her. But who knew, perhaps this was true. 

Drea dined with the Jarl, having been invited as she was the Dragonborn’s companion. She had told them about the relationship she had with Ruru and that they had only known each other for a few days and that she was just a farm girl. Well a rather rich one, but still a farm girl. They had just said she had helped slaying the dragon and she had accepted, not really knowing how to refuse the offer of a Jarl. 

There were many questions about the fight with the dragon and her magic, too. She was not sure if it was hostile or in awe, but it worried her. Then Ruru joined them. She looked alright from what Drea could see, but it was hard to tell in the distance. This hall was too big.

 

To Ruru's surprise she was seated near the jarl, at the highest possible place right after the ruler's closest family and attendants. She had never had such an honor, even when invited to perform at the Blue Palace. She was a servant to the High King and Queen, and thus she ate her dinner with the higher ranking servants in the kitchen. Her place was never with the nobles, as her blood was common.

But now, here she was, sitting almost right next to the jarl. 

Many speeches were given and many goblets were raised to honor the woman. Ruru felt overwhelmed. It had been a terrible fight, but still...

"And now, Lady Dragonborn..." the jarl's son started and Ruru jumped on her seat. 

"Dragon....born?" Ruru repeated, not very sure if she had heard right.

 

At the other end of the table Drea could relate to her new friend. Well, of course not so much on the being a hero thing, but she understood how surprising and scary it likely was for Ruru. The story about the fight was told to Ruru once more and she remembered. More and more. So it had not been a dream. She had seen the memories of the dying dragon. Had absorbed its soul. Dragonborn. Her? How would that even be possible? Ruru was unsure what to say or do.

 

To Ruru, the Dragonborn was a hero of old legends, a hero she sang about to the other people, to bring a glimpse of hope in their eyes or a simple smile that let her know her song had woken an emotion in them. But to  _ be  _ the Dragonborn herself? Gods have a strange kind of sense of humour, don't they?

She fell into pondering silence. The chattering around her seemed very distant now as she fell deeper into her own thoughts. She knew it all too well what it meant. 

She would have to be the one to kill Alduin, the World-Eater. But... she was only a mortal. She had no power! She had nothing! Just her voice...

Then she looked up as if realizing something. Voice. Thu'Um. The language of dragons. They used shouts to call upon very powerful magic. Like fire raining from the sky, thunder, ice - anything and everything. She remembered reading about High Hrothgar, and the Greybeards. That they were the masters of this ‘voice’... this... technique. 

Should she go to them? To ask for more information? Would they accept her, even though she knew nothing of the way the dragons summoned their powers with?

 

The dinner passed in a haze to her. It was hard to find sleep and when morning came and she was brought to the Jarl to be made a Thane she felt squashed.

 

"A Thane, my jarl? But I'm a nobody! I haven't got a drop of noble blood in me", Ruru objected, but the jarl wasn't listening. 

 

Drea watched as Ruru was to kneel down and being tapped on the shoulders with a sword before she rose again. Her friend was made a Thane and that was apparently a sort of local hero, who got honoured by the leader of the hold. On one hand she was slightly jealous. She had done just as much as Ruru to kill the dragon but was not rewarded like this, but on the other hand it was not really something she wished for. Nobility had food and a warm bed and a lot of nice things. But Drea was just Drea. She did not care for politics. Ruru was likely a good Thane. She knew all the political things. And the history. And the way one spoke in the company of nobles. And most of all she was a nice person. 

 

"Then, my jarl, as your new Thane, I have a request", Ruru started and the jarl gestured her to continue. 

"My jarl, I wish you grant a boon to my friend, Drea, who fought as bravely as I did. She may not be a Dragonborn, but without her help, I wouldn't stand here, victorious and triumphantly accepting your graces", she said, and the jarl looked surprised. 

"Then what it is Miss Drea wishes?" the jarl asked, glancing over to Drea.

 

Drea stood there in shock. She had been fine standing further away, being quiet and not regarded much. Now she was spoken to. And she did not know what to say. She had no wishes. She was only in Skyrim to not hurt anyone and to learn using her magic. 

When she had no answer the Jarl offered her that she could be allowed to purchase property in the city, a great honour and one that was not given lightly. Drea refused with thanks. She was just she, she told the Jarl. She was happy to be alive and that Ruru was well. The Jarl, now surprised by such humbleness told her to come with a request if she ever needed the help of Riften, as it stood in her debt. Drea looked like she wanted to sink into the ground. 

 

To Ruru's surprise, the jarl offered them a small sum to spend as they liked. As a Thane, Ruru would always get a small stipend, but she implored the jarl to put the money to those who were in more of need. The orphanage, for example, or helping the homeless. 

Ruru walked over to Drea, apologizing to her. "I'm sorry. I just felt like you deserved something as well, as you helped me keeping my skin from burning."

 

Drea did not really say anything to it, but once they were outside and stood in front of the canal by the street she looked a lot better. Ruru remembered that Riften had a lot of thieves and so she warned Drea to keep her things safe. They talked for a little while and decided to go to the Greybeards together. It was safer to travel together and perhaps the wise men knew a way of helping Drea, too. It was worth giving it a try. They got provisions for the road and then headed out of the city. Neither of them really wanted to stay in Riften for long.

  
  


The road to Ivarstead was long, but rather uneventful. There were some wild beasts, that were driven away by a few fire spells and of course a small group of highwaymen that tried to rob them blind, but with Ruru's speechcraft and Drea's illusions they were easy to drive away, and the journey went on.

 

Ivarstead was a small town by the side of the mountain, much like Riverwood, but smaller and it got less traders coming through. It also felt quieter. They stayed at an inn overnight and listened to the local bard. Ruru wished she had her lute. Neither of them had thought about buying a new one after all that had happened. But it would be alright. Somehow. The fate of the world lay on Ruru’s shoulders. Perhaps this was all just a big misunderstanding. Maybe the Greybeards would tell her she was not dragonborn. 

 

From the small window of the room they had rented for the night she glanced at the mountain that shadowed the small settlement. To think that she would need to climb that up just to speak to the Greybeards and have some clarity to her.... destiny if you could call it that. 

"Dragonborn", Ruru whispered in a wondering manner.

Now she truly wished she had her lute with her, so that she could play and express her dilemma. She still couldn't believe it. She refused to believe it. She was certain the Greybeards would tell her she was not the acclaimed hero of old. While she thought of her lost lute, her mind wandered to Milka... and a new stream of tears fell down her cheeks. 

 

Drea decided to get them some tea. It was late and they would sleep soon, but Ruru was clearly miserable. And although Drea barely understood what was going on in Ruru she understood at least that much: Being a legendary hero with the destiny to save the world from a mad dragon that wanted to eat the world was not what Ruru had planned on or even wished for. 

 

Ruru desperately tried to wipe away the tears, but the more she wiped, the more just fell, and eventually she was just sobbing and hugging her knees. She had lost so much, and now the whole world would rest on her shoulders. 

"I didn't ask for this", she sobbed. "I just wanted to become a bard, tell stories of old so that our history would not be forgotten."

 

A handkerchief was handed to her and then a steaming cup followed. Drea sat down next to her and smiled a little. “Don’t worry. Maybe you are not even this legend. And even if you are, you killed that dragon in that village. I mean… No-one says you have to kill this Alduin alone, right? When he comes I am sure there will be many soldiers to assist you. And then it will be alright.”

 

"But then all those people will die because of me!" Ruru sniffled. "I don't want to see another baby boy crying and asking where his papa is, knowing that  _ I  _ couldn't save him. I'm not a hero! I can protect myself, but to shield a whole world... it's just... it's just madness!"

 

“Don’t worry, Ruru.” Drea said. “If this is a prophecy then you will win, right? You told me that the dragonborn defeats the worldeater. So even if you are scared you will win. And then everyone will be safe.”

It was a naive way of thinking, but Drea looked so sure about it that Ruru could not help but feel a little better. She had the feeling Drea would not mind standing by her side. It was strange, because Drea was clearly just as scared as she was. But she was still here, willing to go to the throat of the world with her. 

 

Ruru smiled a bit. In all of Drea's naivety, she could hear a small grain of truth. She just had to trust every tomorrow she'd be given. She cleaned her face and sipped the tea. 

  
  


The next morning they dressed up warmly and headed out. Someone stopped them and asked if they were pilgrims and if they could bring some supplies up the mountain to the greybeards, just putting them into the chest. They accepted, since they had to get up the mountain anyway. The first part was fairly easy. It was steep but they stopped to look down and admire the landscape and Ruru decided she definitely had to make a song about this view.  It was amazing. The further up they got though it got colder and the path was getting more and more treacherous. They even got surprised by a pack of wolves but luckily with a firecloak from Drea they got up the rest of the mountain without the wolves getting to them. It was evening when they opened the doors to High Hrothgar and called out to whoever might hear them.

 

An old, wrinkled, bearded man approached them. The man said nothing, but Ruru opened her mouth, explaining what had happened and why they were here. The elderly man gestured them to follow him to a room with a fireplace and the women gladly sat down to warm themselves up.

 

Soon another old man came and spoke to them. He explained that they had heard the dragons and also were aware of the coming of a new dragonborn. Then he asked Ruru to follow him and told Drea to stay, as it could be dangerous. Ruru was lead to the other side of the old fort and to a large sort of yard. There were other old men, four in total. Master Arngeir, the one who had spoken to them explained to Ruru that their voices were too powerful as a mere mortal gave up his normal voice when learning the way of the voice and the Thu’Um. The greybeards then proceeded to teach Ruru a ‘word of power’ a word in the language of the dragons that would allow her to move fast like the wind. 

Ruru looked at the word. Wuld. She felt the word inside her very being. She felt the dragon. Its memories. She felt the wind and the speed. Without thinking she repeated the word and her human part stumbled and fell into the snow. She felt embarrassed, but the Greybeards seemed impressed and encouraged her to do it again.this time she was prepared for what came out of her mouth and soul. They let her practice a few more times before announcing that she indeed must be dragonborn, as no mere mortal was able to master a word of power in such a short time. Ruru was worried now. Of course this experience was exciting and she felt a rush of wild determination when she used  _ Wuld _ but it also meant that she indeed had a destiny to fulfil. 

 

"Is it possible there are others like me?" she questioned Master Angeir.

"You are not the first, but whether or not you are the last dragonborn of this age, that remains to be seen." came the answer, and Ruru felt a huge weight land right on her shoulders. The weight of the whole world and all the people in it. All the people she knew and didn't know. All the people she would come to know, as she would surely gain both allies and enemies.

"But I'm just a woman. I'm nothing! I'm not Tiber Septim. I'm far from Ysgramor. I'm... I'm just a woman! I can't be a hero, it's just impossible."

 

Arngeir just smiled at her sagely and lay his hand on hers, forcing her to calm a little. “And yet you are what you are. The great heroes of old times once were mere men. Talos himself once was a man. Yet with patience and will he became more and so was taken into the ranks of the gods. The White-Gold-Concordat may forbid this thought, but I am sure, dragonborn, that you will see that he did not become a god because he wanted to, but because he had earned his place and he did the right thing. If you wish to climb a mountain then there is not only one way about it. If you do not have wings to fly to its peak then you can walk. Or swim up the stream from the bottom to the top. You can even crawl and fight with all you have. Tiber Septim did not have wings when he first found his voice. We can guide you, dragonborn, but you must be the one finding your path.”

The eyes of the old man were kind and Ruru found herself calming. Perhaps it was true. One step after another. The old man smiled. “It would seem that you do not have to go this path alone, dragonborn. A friend is by your side and a friend is a better shield and sword than Iron and steel can ever be.”

 

Ruru felt a weird state of tranquility take over her mind and heart. Where there was fear and panic it was now replaced by serenity she hadn't felt since she left the Bards' College. The way the old man spoke was like she was having a conversation with her father. Something about the old master's eyes reminded her of him. 

"Yes, master Arngeir, you're right. It's just... so sudden and new, that I can't see what's obvious and right in front of me."

She spoke calmly and with respectful tone. These old masters had powers beyond her own imagination, power to kill with a single word, if they so chose.

"Master, what is the next step I should take? Or should I pursue answers on my own?"

 

“As I said, dragonborn, the path is yours to choose. Should you wish to learn about the way of the voice High Hrothgar is open to you. There are words of power all through Skyrim, written down on walls in the dragon language. You can choose to seek them out and learn the words to prepare for a battle that might come or might not. Or you can choose to not become a hero of men and leave the path that might save all of mankind behind you. There are more ways you can go. What you choose will become your path. Know that we will help you if you wish to follow the way of the voice. You and your friend can stay here for as long as you need to find your answer. We will prepare a room for you. It is almost dark and the path down the mountain would be deadly to walk at night.”

Ruru noticed the other Greybeards had left and were likely already preparing said room. 

 

The young bard nodded. "Thank you, master." As she was about to turn to walk back inside, she remembered something, and quickly gazed at the old man. "My friend, Drea, has unstable magicka flow. Could it be possible for you to help her? I know you are not exactly mages, but..."

 

Master Arngeir nodded slightly. “We shall see what we can do. But for tonight I would suggest you rest. the air up here is thinner than down the mountain. You might see that you get exhausted more easily. You can join us for dinner if you wish, there will be a rich stew. Master Einarth is a good cook, so I can recommend it.” To Ruru’s surprise the man had a spark in his eyes that was less that of a sage and more that of a normal person who was looking forward to dinner.

 

Ruru couldn't help but smile a little. "Yes, that would be wonderful! Oh, I should say that we delivered some supplies from Ivarstead on a man's behalf. They are in the chest outside. Unless you already knew that."

 

“Ah.” Master Arngeir said with a smile. “That is good to hear, I hope good Klimmek has added some of that delicious tea he grows.”

 

A few minutes later Ruru and Drea joined the old men by the table. Drea was polite but cheerful. She seemingly enjoyed being here. Ruru pondered on it for a moment before thinking to herself it might be due to the cold outside and the warm fire and hot stew that indeed was delicious.  Ruru was no fan of stews, but this one was an exception. She even asked for seconds and joyfully emptied it just as fast as the first one. 

 

She slept like a stone that night. The beds they had been given were nice and warm and indeed both of them felt exhausted. The Greybeards let them sleep in the morning. When Drea woke up Ruru was still snuggled up in bed, but she was awake. Her thoughts were with the path she would go. It was not an easy choice but Ruru felt less worried now. She was not alone. And perhaps if she asked Drea the young woman would willingly follow her on this journey. After all they both had to learn about magic. Drea about the power of her own magic and Ruru about the usage of the ancient magic that gave the dragons power.

 

"Drea, I'm going to save the world", Ruru said once she saw Drea wide awake. The bard turned her gaze to her. "Would you like to come along with me? I understand if you don't want to, but... I'd feel a lot better if there's someone with me."

 

Drea giggled to this. “Onward my brave heroic dragonslayer. Your bunny companion shall hop in the steps of your mighty paws!” She got Ruru laughing, too. Then she got serious again and Ruru could see she was thinking about it. They had not known each other for long, but Drea felt a connection to Ruru. She was a friend to her, despite the short time. Perhaps it was because they both had survived Helgen and then the dragon by Riften. Sharing Ruru’s loss and the magical shield Drea had created somehow was only a part of it. She thought on it a bit more before giving Ruru her answer.

“I am not sure where this is going. But I have no clear path either. I think walking this path together is not such a bad idea. Fighting that dragon and the fires at helgen gave me the chance to use my magic instead of holding it back. and Your path will lead you to more fighting than you alone can handle. I think we made a good enough team so far. Why not longer?” She smiled at Ruru and it was clear that she meant it. It was not a ‘I shall follow you wherever you go.’ It was a ‘I like you and travelling with you might be good for both of us.’ Ruru knew that if it would get too dangerous Drea would leave. And it was not offensive to her. It felt good. Drea would not get into danger. And if she did then she was smart enough to get out. Ruru would not lead her into her doom. 

Ruru smiled. They hugged each other for a short moment in a platonic gesture before letting go. it was a deal. Between friends. 

 

They went to eat some breakfast that had been set for them. After that Ruru told Arngeir of her decision. 

She would travel through skyrim and seek out the words of power to learn the words and getting stronger. She would prepare herself to battle Alduin. But she also asked Master Arngeir to help her out with directions and teachings. The greybeards had apparently discussed this already and the old man gave her the task to bring the horn of Jurgen Windcaller, the founder of their philosophy. It lay in a Nordic barrow named Ustengrav. He warned her of the dangers inside the barrow. Draugr and traps and possibly parts of the ruins had crumbled. “It is a difficult task and you will do good to prepare yourself, dragonborn. If you go there without being prepared you might die. I am sure Your friend will wish to go to the college of Winterhold. It might be wise to go there first and perhaps learn a spell or two yourself so that you can face the dangers of the barrow.”

 

Ruru nodded to this. "Yes, it might be a good idea. Also, master, about Drea's condition. Do you have any insight for her?"

 

“I am sorry, dragonborn. Much as you have already thought it is not something we have had dealings with. In my young years I have heard of Mages that have difficulties casting their spells and even of those who failed so terribly that it caused their homes to burn down or set themselves on fire. Fire does seem to have a fascination for many mages it would seem. But your friend is not so ambitious in the things she wishes to achieve from what I could gather. It might even be that her fear to harm or destroy is holding her back. Perhaps she will find her answers along the way or perhaps she will find them with other mages. All I can say is that she has a good heart. Perhaps all it takes is to trust herself.”

 

Ruru nodded. "Thank you, master. For your wisdom and hospitality." she said politely and respectfully. 

 

They stayed with the greybeards for another day. Ruru was given a few books, borrowed of course, but nonetheless the Greybeards were very helpful. On the morning of the second day Ruru and Drea made their way back down the mountain. 

 

Once more they had to fight off some wolves, but it was easy with a few fire spells. Wolves. Ruru remembered that time she had ridden on Milka's back and then the pack of wolves had attacked. The nasty sting hit her and for a moment she stopped to catch her breath and calm down. She would grief of her loss, and she would move on at her own pace. It would be her choice in the end. She wiped her eyes and then looked up at the sky. She hoped and prayed that her precious friend was in greener pastures now, and that one day she could join her once more.

"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you", she whispered.

 

Drea realized her friend was thinking about Milka. She decided to distract her. “Where do you want to go first? I think we should go to Whiterun. Or Solitude. You know, to get you a new lute.”

 

Ruru was startled from her thoughts and she quickly brought her mouth to a smile. "I guess... we could go to Whiterun and then, maybe, take the carriage to Solitude."

 

Drea nodded to this. In Riften they had bought some suitable clothes to walk the road for Ruru and a tent so they had it warm and a little safer at night. Drea had told Ruru then that she slept in conjured tents but that she was not sure if it was safe and that she was unsure because she did not want to hurt Ruru. So now they had some more luggage but it was alright. However both of them had agreed that if they travelled together a bit longer they would go shopping in a town along the road. Just to have something good between all the mess. Drea was looking forward to it. And to Ruru playing the lute. When Ruru looked at her it seemed that to Drea this all was a big adventure.


	3. Chapter 3

They spent a night in Ivarstead before moving along the path circling around the mountain and towards Helgen. When the two women saw the ruins, Ruru's blood ran cold in her veins. Automatically she brought her fingers to her mouth and whistled long and sharply. A wishful thought, but she just wanted to believe that her precious friend was still alive. She could go an see if there was anything left of Milka... anything she could bury on a field somewhere. Or maybe if she ever owned a home, she could make a small memorial to her.

Of course the horse wouldn't gallop to her, no matter how many times she whistled. The sadness veiled her eyes for a long while.

 

They had not reached Helgen yet. The view from the mountain was clear, though. Ruru whistled several times while they made camp. Neither of them really felt like staying in Helgen. They would pass it during the day and just head further. 

The night was clear and the moons were full. They sat together by the fire and Drea tried her best to cheer Ruru up. If she could she would have bought a new horse for her friend. Sure, it was not the same, but sometimes a new friend made everything better. Like Ruru for Drea. She had felt so worried and sad but because of Ruru she did not feel alone anymore. Because now Ruru was there. She listened to a story Ruru told about a dwemer person who defeated the opposing army by making a centurion that housed a person who then spied on the enemy. Drea liked it when Ruru told her stories. She had a way of making them even more interesting. It was getting cold and so they decided to head for sleep. They snuggled into their bedrolls and Ruru was out within moments. A few hours later Drea left the tent because she had had way too much tea. 

Drea was just returning to the tent when she heard a distant howling. It spooked her. So deep and somehow monstrous. She thought about the story Ruru had told her a few days ago about werewolves. In her fear she stood there for a while. In the darkness and listened to her surroundings. There were all kinds of noises. An owl a bit further away. The wind that blew over the side of the mountain. From time to time a branch or twig cracked or creaked. She calmed down. It was just the forest at night. Just because it was dark now there was no reason to get spooked. Besides, the darkness usually was nice. It revealed the stars above. She turned her face upwards and looked at them. The auroras she had heard of were not strong in this part of Skyrim, but she would see them when she got to Winterhold. Ruru had told her they were amazing. An excited smile drew over Drea’s face. She would see them. The northern lights. 

Then another branch cracked but before she could turn a large shadow sprung at her. She stumbled backwards and fell, but not for long. Something large pressed her down and it was hairy. The beast growled, lusting for blood. Drea tried to get free and cast a spell, but she was pressed against the ground tightly. She felt the air being squeezed out of her lungs and something sharp digged into her breast. She barely felt it as her mind faded…

 

Ruru woke up and jolted upright. Her senses were sharper all of a sudden. Like something... like every single cell in her body was screaming  _ danger  _ but a quick scan of her surroundings told that there really were no signs of anything. Except when she saw Drea's empty bedroll.

"Drea?" she called out. Repeatedly, with a voice that got louder and louder. There was no answer.

Panic set in. Worry, fear, sadness - all of the emotions just made her crush underneath their weight and she just screamed. She picked a direction and ran. Down the road towards Helgen. Who knew, maybe that silly woman had had the brightest idea of checking if there was anything intact. 

The sight of the place made her feelings even more disarray. The ruins of the tavern she had stayed... and the stables she remembered she had put Milka in... like the place was haunted. Maybe it was. So many had died. 

"Drea!" she called again, getting no answer. Would she really have to face another loss? Or maybe the woman had decided to just leave her on her own mad quest. But her tent and everything were still intact. 

More and more desperate to find her friend she just kept looking.

 

Meanwhile not so far away in a cave Drea was getting back to her senses. She felt pain in her chest and her head and her leg felt like it was being squished. She tried to focus but her head was pounding like she had smacked it against a wall. There was a low growl and she froze. The darkness did not reveal a thing to her but hells she remembered the huge wolf that had sprung at her. If it was a wolf… She lay still, trying hard to not move even though she could hardly feel her leg. But what if the wolf or whatever it was woke up? She didn’t dare to even move a finger to make some light. There was another growl from where her leg was. The one she didn’t feel. Something wet touched her face. Her head moved slightly, disgusted it might be something crawling over her face. Another nudge and she realized it must be another wolf. The nose was wet like of a dog. 

Now as already established, Andrea was not a person to especially like animals. In fact she feared any kind of animal from tiny insects to cats and horses, from mudcrabs to normal fishes. She had always been and only once had she gotten used to a dog. A mid-sized black one that was ironically called Blackie. Blackie had died early because of a tumor in her head. Drea had never gotten used to another animal after that, but that one dog had been nice. And it had a wet nose. Like the wolf right next to her. Just that this wolf was not her friend but likely wanted to eat her. 

She lay still, praying to the gods the wolves might not eat her before Ruru found her. She felt another heavy pelty thing land on her chest and arm. She swallowed so hard that the beast at her feet growled again. 

 

When she woke up once more it was less dark. Drea had no idea when she had fallen asleep. Or how on Nirn she could even have fallen asleep in between a pack of wolves that had dragged her to their lair to eat her! She still felt the wolf lying on her legs but the one on her chest seemed to be gone. With careful movements she tried to look around. What she saw was confusing. Instead of a pack of wolves on her leg lay a naked man. Had she not feared the wolves she would have hastily kicked him off. But so she just carefully tried to move her legs and pull free. Dammit the man was  _ really _ naked. She could feel his… thing at her leg. 

A deep growl escaped from the man. She froze again. What if the man was the wolf? What if werewolves were real? And he would eat her once he woke? Her breath quickened with her heartbeat and somehow the man must have felt it. 

He rose and stared at her for a moment. Drea blushed as she realized how attractive he was. It was stupid to think such a thing in a moment like this but her brain had simply gone blank. 

The man’s brows knitted and he looked at her as if he was trying hard to remember what happened. Like a drunk who had gone through a night of testing all the booze available at an inn. Not that Drea had met many drunks. Only once, but that one remembered what happened. 

Anyhow there they were. A woman with torn clothes and dirt and wolf drool all over her and a naked man that had no clothes at all. Drea didn’t say a word. She was too confused and at the same time embarrassed. The man was naked and practically lay on top of her. He didn’t say anything either but unlike her face, his face did not convey any of his emotions or thoughts. Only his eyes had slight movements as he slowly began to put the pieces together. 

  
  


Bishop stared at the woman that lay under him. Her legs did anyway. He had no idea who she was. His head was pounding like hell and he hardly remembered anything. But he vaguely recalled having gotten as drunk as possible as any night when the moons were full. When he got drunk he couldn’t hunt. Then he didn’t wake up covered in blood and filth. Or people whose entrails were spilled all over the floor. 

How on nirn had that woman gotten into his cave? It was a wonder she was still alive. There was a clear wound in her chest. The tunic she wore was ripped and bloody. The blood had dried so it was probably not a lethal or dangerous wound. But she was alive. Had he gone out hunting?  _ She _ certainly didn’t look like a hunter. Nor did she look like a vigilant but he couldn’t be sure. If she was a vigilant he better not make any hasty moves. He didn’t dare to rise. If she was with those killers he’d be dead the moment she thought it was safe to make a move. 

They stared at each other until she turned her face away. He could see her being flustered. Fucking vigilant woke up with a werewolf. He grinned on the thought. Would be nice to shove it down her throat. He noticed that she was looking around and his attention focussed on the situation again. Her eyes moved over the floor and the bottles of booze that were now empty. Cheap stuff that had not worked the way it should. Damn it all. She was probably eyeing the bottles to use them as a weapon. He would be faster. Babyface would not break them fast enough. 

She was actually kind of cute. Even with all of the dirt and drool and blood on her. He felt his manhood react. She felt it too. He could tell by the way her eyes moved over the things in the cave faster. The hay they lay on, the cold fireplace, his few belongings on the chair and table he had made to make his cave a little more homely, the hunting knife… Then he realized her eyes did not stop at the knife. Sure, she could have missed it, but it lay open. Missing it was almost impossible. If she was looking for a weapon to kill him it would be the knife. 

 

“Are you a werewolf?” 

The question surprised him. Especially because there was no judgement in it. Perhaps something gentle and warm, as if she felt sorry for him. Perhaps the woman was no vigilant. Had he been out hunting and just not killed his prey? Perhaps she was just a naive wanderer who didn’t know shit about werewolves. Well thank Molag’s balls he had cleaned up the blood of his previous hunts. If he did this right maybe she would not think he was a monster.

“Uhhh. No. Uhh. I got a wolf. As a pet. For hunting.” To oblivion with it. On any other day he’d have punched anyone in the face who called Karnwyr a pet. But now his companion possibly saved his arse. Once he got back that was. He could hardly let the woman go with the idea a werewolf lived in this cave. But he could also not kill her. It would have been a waste of a perfectly good woman. 

His manhood agreed. 

She carefully pulled herself free and crawled away from him. Not far, only out of the reach of his hardness. Her trousers were ripped and her leg heavily bruised. He swallowed. She could hardly believe a mere wolf had done this. And Karnwyr was way smaller than a werewolf. He was strong, he could have pulled that woman into the cave, but she hardly had slept through being stabbed in the chest by claws, dragged through the forest and bruised like this. She must have seen him. There was no way she would believe Karnwyr had done this. Especially if Karnwyr was being himself. When they were not on a hunt the wolf behaved like a spoiled pup, demanding to be petted and scratched behind the ears. 

He moved carefully. Being naked made him nervous. He moved to the chair and put on his trousers and belt, fastening his knife on it. It made him feel better. Not for one second his eyes left the woman. She had looked at her clothes and wounds for a moment before partly undressing and healing herself with magic. Figured why she was not interested in the knife. He had to get out of here. Fast. 

 

“I should try to get back.” she said, unsure how he would react. “My friend probably is worried.”

 

_ Friend? _ Bishop swore on the inside. Of course she wasn’t alone. “What friend?” he asked carefully. 

“Ruru.” she said as if that explained anything. It sounded like a name. Another woman perhaps. Then a thought came to him. They were probably refugees from Helgen. He had thought they all had gone to Falkreath, Riverwood or Lakeside. The road over the pass to Ivarstead was not exactly safe. 

“You are from Helgen then.” he stated. “You know, I could escort you over the pass. For a small fee. The pass is dangerous. Rock slides, wild beasts, bandits…” If he played this right he could get out of this and even make some money. He needed harder booze for the next full moons. 

She shook her head. “We were at Helgen, but we went to Riften and Ivarstead after the attack. Now we are heading for Whiterun. And then Solitude. Ruru lives there. Then we might go to Winterhold. So I can learn to control my magic.” 

He wasn’t sure what she meant but slowly he began to figure the girl was really not aware of the fact that he had almost killed her. She was no danger. He only would have to move. Further towards Riften perhaps. Or Falkreath. He’d just have to find a new cave for himself and Karnwyr. 

He shrugged. “If you and your little friend need a tracker to get you past the bandit camps on the way just say the word.” He felt more confident now that his head had stopped throbbing and the girl seemingly had no memory of the past night. She probably hit her head or something. “I take fifty septims a day, if we get into a fight fifty extra.” He turned to her. The thought her head might actually have taken serious damage concerned him somewhat. Not that he cared about her, but it was his fault after all. He stepped close and forced her to stand still while he inspected her head. She tried to struggle free but then Karnwyr entered and distracted her for a moment. Her head seemed alright, thank the gods. He let go of her. 

“Uhm. That’s Karnwyr, my wolf.” he introduced his companion. 

“Where is the other one?” she asked.

“The oth- uh, Karnwyr is-” Shit. She had mistaken him for a wolf. “He has a she-wolf who sometimes comes.” he lied. 

“Oh.” she said. 

“Which one licked my face last night?”

 

Bishop packed his things. He wouldn’t come back to this cave. No matter if she had figured he was a werewolf or not. If those two wanted to go to Whiterun and payed him to escort them he might find something in the tundra to stay. While carefully stuffing his belongings into his pack he kept his eyes on her and thought of a story to tell her friend why she had been gone. He would just tell them he had found her in the forest with those bruises and wounds and had carried her to his cave. That he had been naked he’d just explain with having gotten drunk. And the wolves she had felt were Karnwyr and his supposed she-wolf. At least the last one was only half lied. 

Babyface just waited patiently while he packed. Karnwyr sniffed her and Bishop could see she was afraid of the wolf. Like everyone. As if Karnwyr would ever harm them. And if he did they’d deserve it. Then she carefully bent down to the wolf and let him sniff her hand. She was still afraid. Her eyes were wide and her breath was irregular. But she actually made herself vulnerable to the wolf. Karnwyr sniffed her and licked over her arm. Bishop grinned as he saw her face. She probably thought Karnwyr was tasting the stew. But to his surprise her hand carefully reached out and she petted Karnwyr, her eyes still wide. And the mutt rolled over and showed off his favourite scratching spot. She stopped, looking at the wolf with insecurity. 

Karnwyr waited for his scratches in vain. 

 

Then Bishop was done packing and whistled. The wolf sprung into motion and came over to his alpha. “Let’s get going. Don’t want to keep that friend of yours waiting.”

  
  


Ruru had returned to the camp and in silence she broke it. She made sure to take Drea's things as well.

Now, she was on her way down to Riverwood. With all the extra luggage her stride was slow, and the agony she felt for not being able to find and save her friend. 

In her silence, she considered many things. She considered leaving the mantle of Dragonborn and burning it along with the fact that she was not like the hero depicted in legends. Maybe this world deserved to be devoured by Alduin. If there was nothing but suffering in the foreseeable future, maybe all of Tamriel just deserved what was foretold.

A stone made her stumble and she fell ungracefully on her face. The pain sapped her strength and she just laid there, sobbing and wailing. 

First Milka, now Drea. Who next? Would she soon receive word from High Rock that her parents had been slaughtered? Or that her friends at the Bards' College had been killed in a terrible accident? Obviously the goddess of compassion had turned her back on her, and all the gods with her, and now only bad luck followed her like a curse. 

_ Just move forward one step at a time, at your own pace. _

What inner strength Ruru could muster in her hopelessness, she used it to get up on her feet and walk forward. 

  
  


When Bishop found the camp by the roadside the other woman was gone. He wouldn’t have cared, really. If babyface wanted to cry over her things and the other woman why would that be his problem?  _ His _ problem was that he had no idea if this other woman had seen him attacking her friend and dragging her off. If this Ruru had run to Helgen he’d have the vigilants on his heels. And they somehow knew he was a werewolf when they saw him. It was no use acting like a lone hunter if this Ruru came back with these  _ holy _ bastards. He had to get away. 

“I could get you to Helg- or Riverwood. You can get some guards or mercenaries to look for your friend.” he said. 

She just sobbed and nodded but then she cried again. “But all my money is gone.” 

_ Fuck. No payment. _ He should just leave. Karnwyr nuzzled the woman. 

It wasn’t like he owed her anything…  _ just… _

“Who knows your friend might have thought you got killed and left for the next city. Tell you what: If I find your friend you pay me. If I don’t I get you to the next town at least.”

She didn’t look at him again, but she nodded and then she suddenly hugged him.  _ Hugged him!  _ A stranger. She had woken up next to him after being attacked. He had been naked. Her head was clearly damaged. 

Uncomfortable with the closeness he pried her off and moved forward. “Let’s get going then.”

  
  


Ruru dropped the luggage and readied fire spells on her palms. The look in her eyes was empty, like there was nothing in her, but still her mind worked. The pack of wolves surrounded her, circled around her, and the woman stood still, watching closely every move the beasts made. Then she released the spell at the possible leader of the hunting pack. The animal whined from pain and the air was filled with the smell of burning fur. 

Next fireball hit the second beast right in the eyes, and the poor creature used its paws to try and wipe the pain away. Then she took a dagger in her hand and the left held a lesser fire spell now. 

As the growling beasts lounged at her, Ruru drew a circle of flame on the ground around her. Why she fought so adamantly was a mystery to herself as well. She had lost much in such a short time, more than she could handle, she had nothing to lose, nothing to gain. She could die and leave the world for others to save.

As soon as the wolves realized the lone prey wasn't going to yield, they ran. Ruru lifted the luggage and continued onward, now making sure she had a weapon in her hand. If she was to die, she would take the threat with her.

  
  


Bishop followed the road. It wasn’t exactly something he usually did, he could never know when vigilants came his way or just passed by. But with the girl on his heels he would not have been able to explain why he wasn’t following the road. After all the other woman wasn’t likely to have gone into the forest. He knew a shortcut to Riverwood after Helgen. A path that was not used much but there he could at least claim he wanted to be faster than this Ruru and catch her. 

He still wasn’t sure what to make of the girl. When they got to a stream he told her to wash off and waited patiently. She looked so innocent and harmless but why was she not afraid of him then? Yeah sure, she was a mage and could probably throw fire and ice and burn down the forest as so many of them did. Fucking mages. But if she was that powerful with her magic wouldn’t she have defended herself when his beastly form attacked him? And here he was without any scratches. No burned fur or skin, no wounds. Perhaps she had been unconscious. But then again she had said a wolf had licked her face at night. So she had not been out all the time. At least then she would have made light, seen the werewolf and scorched him good. 

So what was it? How could she be weak and fearless or powerful and he still alive? It made no sense at all. Karnwyr didn’t seem to be concerned. He followed the girl and drank before joining her in the water. He seemed to have taken a liking to her. She in return seemed to do her best not to be scared. It was another surprise to Bishop. People hated wolves. They claimed they ate their children and were aggressive. But here was a girl who was afraid and still didn’t try to hit Karnwyr or avoid him. 

She washed off and fixed some of the damage on her clothes with magic. Then she looked exhausted. Bishop noted this but said nothing about it. They walked for some hours before Bishop decided he was hungry and they took a rest. She looked like she was going to fall over. Her face was all red and she sank down next to Karnwyr, drinking from the stream. He ate and then got some fresh water into his waterskin. Perhaps he should offer her some. Not his problem, though. He was already doing her a favour by getting her to the next town. 

He rose again and marched forward, Karnwyr at his heels. She had no complaints although he could tell she was hungry. With a frown on his face he tried to silence the little voice in his head telling him he was a bastard.

  
  


Ruru saw the city of Riverwood come into view late afternoon a few days later. She hastened her steps as much as the weight of the luggage allowed without her stumbling ungracefully on the ground again. It was already late when she finally opened the door to the Sleeping Giant Inn and walked to the innkeeper and ask for a room. She was exhausted, hungry, thirsty and dirty. After a simple meal with fresh water, and a bath, she finally was able to press her head on a pillow and sleep on a warm bed for once. Though all the coin she had was spent for this one little moment of bliss. She would need to make some more with performances... 

Her dreams didn't allow her any peace, however. She relived the burning of Helgen, but the dream was different. She heard Milka neighing from agony, and she watched as the stable she had put her in burned and collapsed, trapping her friend inside. The screams the poor animal let out were heartbreaking.... but then she realized she was the one screaming.

With a jolt she woke up and sat upright. Someone knocked on the door of her room.

"Miss? Are you alright? There are complaints about you."

The innkeeper's stern voice made her apologize politely and sincerely before she laid down on her side again. 

The commotion from the lounge startled Ruru awake, and she realized it was already morning. Her stomach growled demandingly. She would need to work in order to eat.

Ruru got dressed and headed downstairs to the innkeeper, asking if she could work for a meal before she continued further north, to Whiterun. The innkeeper pointed at a broom in the corner, and Ruru took it, sweeping the floors dutifully, then she cleaned the tables and washed dishes, checked the rooms and cleaned them if it was necessary. Once she was finished, she got to eat some bread and preserved meat and some soup. She didn't like soup, but under circumstances it was better than eating nothing at all. On that evening, she decided to sing to the patrons to earn some coin for the journey.

 

It was late already when the door opened once again and another patron entered the Sleeping Giant. Ruru’s eyes wandered over the man for a moment. He didn’t look like he was going to leave much coin. Then her blood froze when she saw a smaller person behind the man. Drea! Looking really miserable, clothes torn and dirty and she looked like someone had dragged her through the forest for the past days. But she was there. Alive.

 

Ruru finished her performance. As always, many patrons were kind enough to give her coin, and once the tips were given to her, she hurried to her friend. She practically leapt to hug her and cried against her shoulder, from relief of course.

 

Drea looked even more exhausted close up. She introduced the man to Ruru, saying he had found her and that something had attacked her when she went to pee. And then Ruru had been gone and the man had offered to bring her to Riverwood. Then there was a short moment of silence and Drea asked where her things were. Ruru led her to the small room she had been given. The man eyed Ruru. Wearily. Then he sat down at the bar and ordered some ale while the women vanished upstairs. Ruru gave Drea her things. She had many questions, but held them back, seeing how exhausted her friend was. She was torn between thanking the stranger and rushing downstairs to smack him for letting her friend exhaust herself like this. 

Drea though just took her money and went downstairs. She ordered a room, a meal and a bath and then she paid the stranger. For what? Ruru felt angry. This bastard head clearly not taken care of her. She watched as Drea spoke to the man. Her fingers moved over the strings of the borrowed lute and she could see the man grin almost wolfishly and taking the money. Drea said something and the man shrugged. 

Then Drea left for the bathrooms.

 

Many thoughts fluttered inside her head, frantically. It was hard to grasp one and think it through. Whoever this man was... maybe a mercenary who had saved Drea from.... whatever. And Drea had paid him for his service - when he clearly had not done a very good job!

Ruru changed the song to a more outlandish one. It was fast and wild, just like her emotions were. With anger she strummed the notes, making them sound almost violent and full of emotions. Another song like that followed. A patron requested her to play something else, and she tried to think of a song that would fit to her state of mind. 

She ended up playing a version of Dragonborn Comes where the poor lute was put to its limits.

 

Bishop drank his ale with a good thirst. The girl had payed him. It surprised him, really. He had not exactly been nice to her and only shared his rations with her when he had realized that she wasn’t going to make it without food. She had not complained though. And now she even had paid him. With another swing from his ale he counted the coin. One hundred and fifty septims. Three days. She had remembered his price it seemed. Perhaps he should give her a good turn and escort them to Whiterun. This Ruru seemed to be a bard. And with the way she behaved she had not gotten the vigilants on his heels. But she clearly despised him. Bishop didn’t care. He put the coin purse into his pocket and grinned at the bard openly. It seemed to infuriate her even more and she sang Ragnar the Red as if she wanted to make Bishop’s head roll around on the floor. 

He grinned and raised his ale towards her to mock her even more. Then his eyes were lead to the door that lead to the bathrooms. Babyface stood in the doorway and looked around. First to the bard then to the bar where Bishop was sitting. She was obviously contemplating if she should join him. Something deep down moved. Or perhaps not so deep down. She looked wild with her hair still wet and the dress that was probably from the stuff the bard had kept for her. Perhaps he should take a whore from the payment she gave him before he’d make a move on her and the bard tried to murder him in his sleep. Not that she’d be able to.

Babyface - or rather uhhm… He only realized now he did not know her name. However the girl had obviously made up her mind and came over to him, sitting down as if she was waiting for him to send her away. He didn’t. The cleavage in the green cotton dress smiled at him. Or maybe her face did. He wasn’t sure. Orgnar, the barkeep - Bishop knew the name because he often visited this small inn when he was in Riverwood -, sat a plate with potatoes, meat and vegetables in front of her. She gave him a smile before she began to eat. Bishop watched her. She was starved but her manners were in place. He wondered who she was. He could not really imagine her being a noble. Those prissy people complained about anything and everything. But she had manners. Not that he cared. He ordered another round and a plate of those potatoes and meat and while Orgnar got it ready he eyed her cleavage again. 

 

Ruru watched it all happen like time itself had been slowed down. She had seen Drea exiting the bathroom, and then she had obviously eyed the mercenary and her, and decided to join  _ his  _ company. Ruru's fingers strummed the lute as annoyance filled her. That mercenary clearly was scum! But then again he had saved Drea.... but still it pissed Ruru off so much her playing wasn't exactly very graceful anymore, and her voice was empowered by her anger as it slashed across the room loud and clear. 

Eventually Ruru had to stop as she noticed one of her fingernails was split from all the plucking she had done... and the poor lute in her hands looked like it could use a proper maintenance. If only she still had her own equipment to do it.

Coins were given, and she sang a few more songs upon request. She needed the coin, desperately. It would take a long time before she was back in Solitude, where she could at least somehow put her life back in order.

 

Once the bard took a small break Bishop could see babyface wave her over. He was busy with his food but with surprise listened while she told that bard about him and that he could escort them in exchange for some money. Babyface seemed to want that to his surprise. 

 

Ruru frowned. "How much is that going to cost us? You seemed to pay him a small fortune already for helping you out of your... shall we say... predicament."

 

“Fifty septims per day and fifty extra if we get into a fight.” the girl answered. 

Bishop just ate his plate empty before he turned to them. “Plus a hundred extra if you plan on killing my ears with your strumming.” he grinned at the bard. It was a joke. Sort of.

 

Ruru's blood boiled to a point where she absolutely couldn't take such mean words, not after what she had gone through. This man obviously had no ounce of consideration whatsoever. His manners were closer to a wild beast than human. Of course she realized she had gone way too far, when she had played and allowed her emotions take over so overwhelmingly, but she was taught to use her emotions to empower her performance. If she was happy, she made the notes ring lightly and perkily, if she was sad, she strummed heavily and slowly. Anger made her plucking more like a staccato - fast paced and out of control. Music was art, and this man obviously didn't understand it at all.

"Have your parents not told you that if you have nothing pleasant to say, then don't say anything at all?!" Ruru snapped at the man.

 

Like he would tell her that his  _ parents _ could burn in oblivion for all he cared. But before he could come up with a snarky remark babyface chimed in and asked him if he didn’t like music and that she had liked Ruru’s play. So instead he just shrugged and claimed the bard should be able to take a joke. Babyface pouted and it looked cute. Damn it, he really needed that whore. He emptied his ale. “Whatever. If you need an escort I’ll be here in the morning. Let me know.” He got up and left the two women to themselves.

 

Ruru groaned. "Don't tell me you are  _ considering _ taking his offer? He might have saved you from whatever attacked you and dragged you to their lair, but that man obviously wants to rip us off!" Not to mention he was insulting her art. The art of being a bard. She was so proud of it, and she took every properly established critique to heart, but direct insults she would not take. Not from anyone.

 

Drea looked at her friend with big eyes. “So you are saying fifty septims is too much?” She thought about it. “I would not know, I never traveled with an escort.”

 

"Most mercenaries are cheaper than that, and they do a much better job keeping their client safe. He has no consideration when it comes to our well-being. I saw how you looked like when you stepped in. Starving, with ripped clothes... I seriously thought something utterly terrible had happened to you!" she stopped for a moment. "Did he.... touch you?" Ruru's tone was suspicious and her frown casted a shadow over her eyes that seemed to gleam from anger that was boiling inside her.

 

Drea remembered how he had been naked when she had woken up. But she decided not to tell Ruru about it. Her friend already worried about her and he had not done anything to her even though his body had reacted. She shook her head. “No. His wolf licked my face, though.” She smiled a little.

Ruru had seen the wolf that followed the mercenary. As had anyone else in the room. The barkeep did not seem surprised, nor did some of the other guests. Perhaps they had thought him a dog? Or the man had been here before. 

 

Ruru ordered some tea to calm her nerves. Maybe she was reading into everything far too much, because she had been on edge for the past weeks. With the dragon attack in the Rift, becoming a Thane, her loss of Milka, the attack in Helgen... her destiny as the Dragonborn.... she'd be glad to return to Solitude and forget herself in the library for the next couple of weeks or so. Maybe even see if there was a chance to perform at the Blue Palace once more. That kind of coin would always help her to get back what she lost in Helgen. 

Though no other horse would replace Milka.

 

“Maybe we can talk to him and he’ll take less.” Drea said, obviously not letting go of the thought of traveling with the mercenary. 

 

Ruru started to massage her head. Her temples were throbbing and it didn't help that her friend was way too naive to see her point. It would be useless to even explain why having a man such like him along would become troublesome. What guarantee was there that he would let them sleep in peace? What guarantee was there if he would even look twice if one of them got seriously injured? He didn't seem to care about Drea all that much, well.... other than imagining her as his next conquest.

"I think I'll go to sleep. If you think you can change his mind, go ahead, but I won't give a septim to him, so if you think you can afford his price, you can have your bodyguard. I'll take care of myself."

Drea could see she was angry and exhausted. The young bard grimaced from pain as she massaged her head more and more to keep her skull from exploding.

 

Drea went to bed, too. She thought about what Ruru had said. But she still thought that it would be good to have the ranger along. Ruru had said it herself. That she could not kill that bad dragon, that Alduin on her own. And he seemed to be someone who could take care of himself. He lived in a cave after all. But Ruru was right on the price. Drea could not afford to pay him for all their journey. Who knew how long it would be. Perhaps she could convince him to lower his price and just travel together. With that thought she fell asleep.

 

Meanwhile Bishop had found himself a whore in the less reputable streets of Riverwood. But even this fuck couldn’t get his thoughts straight again. Now he sat by the river, his hand absentmindedly petting Karnwyr. It confused him that he even considered escorting the two women. Not that he hadn’t done this kind of work before. But he had almost killed the girl and had no idea how much she knew. It wasn’t safe. He should just leave. Instead he had imagined her face when he fucked that whore. 

Perhaps it was his head that had taken damage. Or babyface had used a spell on him. He frowned at the thought. 

Unsatisfied and frustrated he stomped back to the Sleeping Giant and went to sleep. If she had bewitched him he’d kill her. He’d let his beast rip her open and do as it pleased.


	4. Chapter 4

Ruru woke up, feeling miserable. Her head didn't seem to have become any better overnight and she just allowed herself to rest for a little bit longer. She touched her forehead, realizing it felt warmer than usual. Was she ill?

Ruru tried to sit up, but her body was against it. As soon as she was sitting upright, her head started to spin and her vision went blurry. She understood she wouldn't be able to move a step with fever wrecking her body. Had she really exhausted herself to this point? 

Well, no wonder, she just had gone through too much. Maybe it was better to rest for now.

 

Some time later Drea knocked on her door.

 

"Come in", Ruru said feebly.

 

Drea only needed to take a short look to understand her friend had gotten ill. “Is there something I can do?” she asked carefully, knowing Ruru might still be angry about the man.

 

"If there's an apothecary in town, you could bring me some medicine", Ruru said pleadingly and pointed at her savings. "You can use my coin for it."

 

Drea nodded and left the room. She came back some time later with the medicine and some tea.

 

Ruru sat up, and leaned against the bed frame. She took the tea and medicine. She thought of her earnings. She would need to get up by tomorrow or she would be thrown out. Perfect. Just perfect. Just how much more she would need to suffer?!

But she didn't need to think for too long about this. She heard commotion downstairs. Someone shouted: "A dragon! A dragon is attacking the town!"

Ruru groaned. Not now. It wasn't funny. She obviously didn't understand the ironic sense of humour the gods seemed to have. But then she remembered how she had considered leaving the mantle of Dragonborn, and just allowing the dragons to consume the world as was foretold. Should she? Could she really live with that sort of burden in the afterlife? She glanced at Drea, reminding herself of her resolve she had come in terms with at the High Hrothgar. If she could save the people... if she could prevent one more tragedy by fulfilling her destiny... 

Ruru stood up, still wobbly. She was the only one who could kill a dragon permanently. She should help these people.

 

Drea was already out the door. She wore a tunic and a pair of trousers, new as Ruru had noticed. While Ruru wobbled out of bed and tried to get dressed she could hear the roaring outside. What if it burned down the inn? The thought gave her some strength and she managed to get downstairs. It was easy to tell the people of Riverwood had not seen a dragon yet. Most of them looked at each other in disbelief while others tried to find a corner to hide in. Her friend seemed to already have left the inn.

 

Ruru stepped outside and saw the dragon swooping low before landing on the outskirts of town. Just like the one in Riften, it was huge and breathed fire. The soldiers were already hitting it with their arrows. The young lady readied her spells. She felt wobbly and weak, but she couldn't allow the city to burn, not like Helgen.

 

Drea was surprised to see Ruru on her feet. She could not fight in this condition. But then again she could also not wait for the dragon to crush the inn and bury her alive. 

They fought the dragon with all they had. Although Riverwood had not seen a dragon yet the guards were prepared. The fight seemed more in control of the guards than it had been by Riften. When the dragon finally flew off everyone jubilated. Drea could see the mercenary further away, still watching the sky and not putting down his bow. Then she hurried to Ruru to support her.

 

Ruru had fought with what she had got, but the fever seemed to get worse and worse. She only realized Drea's arms around her before everything went dark.

  
  


With the help of a healer Drea got Ruru better within a few days. The mercenary had left. Drea was not too happy about it. She had not even thanked him she thought. But then again perhaps Ruru was right. He had not cared all that much about Drea when he had brought her here. But he also had been doing really well with his bow in the fight with the dragon. Before he had been gone. 

While Ruru had been ill Drea had worked at the inn and earned some money and bought a few things to make clothes she sold at the market. Her magic was helpful but it also exhausted her a lot. 

Once Ruru was back on her feet she wanted to continue their way and pressured Ruru to get ready. 

 

Ruru could only agree to Drea's words. She had already wasted too much time being bedridden. It was high time she continued her journey. She packed her things, dressed warmly and went downstairs to thank the innkeeper for the hospitality and for the chance to perform for the patrons again. 

With that the two women set out.

 

It took two more days to get to Whiterun. They spent the nights at inns along the road. Drea was feeling better now that they were away from the people. It had become unsettling to her once more as she saw the destruction that the dragon had done to Riverwood. Her magic was like that, too. 

 

Ruru performed during the short stays at the inns, and once they arrived to the city itself, she could feel relief. Though she knew she had to move on, but she really needed supplies. A lot of them before she could set out to a return trip to Solitude. 

So she planned keeping this visit in town as short as possible.

 

They stayed in Whiterun for some time. After doing some shopping Ruru had not found a lute she wanted. Of course she could just buy one but she wanted it to be a good one. She would wait until they got back to Solitude. She found a new flute though, which she used to play at one of the local inns. Drea used the time to sow and sell the clothes she made. There were multiple dragon attacks in the few weeks they stayed but all were repelled. One time they managed to slay the dragon and once more Ruru absorbed its soul. Drea had gotten her back to the inn and the next day a letter from the Jarl had come. Ruru felt honoured, of course, but at the same time it reminded her that she could not stay here forever. She felt like she had to return to Solitude and of course go to Ustengrav. 

 

But to refuse a Jarl's invitation would only bring trouble. So she took a bath, put on her best dress, combed her hair, made herself presentable, and one afternoon she walked to the cloud district, presented the invitation the the guards of Dragonsreach, and she was escorted to the throne room, where she was formally introduced to the Jarl, Balgruuf the Greater.

"Your lordship summoned me?" Ruru said as she made a low curtsey in front of Balgruuf.

 

Ruru was thanked for the help she had provided in slaying the dragon and she quickly figured out the Jarl had wanted to see for himself if the woman really was dragonborn. With the return of the dragons things were worrying enough but if there was someone to be able to kill them a Jarl did well to know that person personally. And to ensure being on their good side. 

Ruru left the palace after a great dinner. 

The next day they left Whiterun. Drea found the Jarl was alright. He seemed to care for his people. More so than this other Jarl in Riften. And he did not rely on Ruru to kill the dragons for him, although he made it clear how honoured he would be should Ruru chose to stay in Whiterun. 

Her own thoughts were with someone else though on this evening. They had made camp outside again. And the moons were full. Drea was still not sure if the mercenary was a werewolf. In Whiterun she had looked up werewolves in the library. All the books said that they were humans who turned when the moons were full and that they hunted people then. And killed them. But she had not been killed. But she was also sure that it had not been a wolf. And the ranger had been naked when he woke up. Maybe he had fallen asleep on his prey to eat it later. All the thoughts made her head spin slightly. If he was a werewolf maybe he was lonely. 

The fire cracked and she looked up.

 

Ruru glanced at Drea. The woman had been... quieter since the mercenary had left. She rolled her eyes in her mind. Falling for someone like that? Was this woman completely insane? You could see from a distance that the man was bad news!

_ But it's not my place to tell a grown woman what she does, right?  _

Then she returned to her own years in the college. Many young, polite and good-looking men had approached her, but she had turned them down. She just didn't have any interest in them. No matter how polite or nice they acted in public, once they had the woman hooked, they'd just expect her to spread her legs for them. Warm their bed, as the saying went. Like Alec.

There would never be a man good enough for her. Gentlemen were a dying breed, after all.

 

Ruru felt tired. She decided to go to bed and let Drea keep sowing on those dresses on her own. Drea wished her a good night and kept her work on her knees. She listened into the darkness. The tundra had its own noises. During the day they had seen bunnies a little further away and then there were wolves and foxes and a lot of smaller birds living here. Also giants and mammoths. The wind sounded different, too, as it wooshed over the long grass. Drea liked it. Being outside and away from people made her feel secure, even though they could be surprised by wild animals she knew that she would not hurt innocents here. Listening to the sound of Kynareth’s music she finished the skirt for the dress. Then she heard something. A low growl. She shielded herself with wind. Just in time before a large beast pounced at her and threw her over. But it was blown aside just as hard from her spell. She got up and faced the beast. This time the light of the fire revealed the body of the beast. It was huge. Not mammoth-huge, but like one of those nords that had more muscles than brain and although it resembled a wolf it stood back up on his hind legs. It growled at her as it began to circle around her and try to find a way past her barrier. It attacked before Drea realized it, but once more all that did was to throw both of them off balance. The beast was on its feet before Drea was and then a short series of attacks followed that were all reflected by the wind shield. Then Drea’s heart stopped as she saw another wolf. A real one this time. It was Karnwyr. Perhaps she was mistaken, especially in the dark light and perhaps it was only because she had thought of the ranger. But… could it be...?

She carefully reached out to the beast and it growled and snapped, but stayed away from her wind shield. The smaller wolf though came through the shield. It was not an enemy. And now Drea could see that it was indeed Karnwyr. The wolf winced and looked at her with big eyes. She lay her hand on his back and gave him a pet before her eyes returned to the werewolf. Was that really the ranger? Did he mean harm to her? The books had said that werewolves lost their humanity when they turned. But somehow the werewolf looked sad. 

She tried again and took a step towards him. The beast growled louder. Karnwyr by her side got restless. 

 

Ruru's eyes shot wide open to the commotion. She was standing a second later as all of her senses told her there was danger. But then she froze in place. What she witnessed was a beast from stories of old. A werewolf, living, breathing werewolf, who was attacking Drea. But... then she saw the wolf that had been with the mercenary. It was standing right next to Drea, as if... as if... 

She had no time to think. She took her daggers and directed a firespell at the beast. "leave her alone, fiend!" she screamed. Foolish thing to do, but she knew for a fact that any beast hated fire.

 

Not this one though. It turned from Drea to the woman that had tuned up. Fearless it sprung at Ruru and avoided the fireball with a quick jump to the side. Drea hurried over to get Ruru into her shield. 

 

There they stood. The two women in the swirl of wind with the wolf being unsure and a bit further the werewolf who growled at them and paced around. 

 

Ruru stared at the beast in the eyes with a frown. She kept her spells readied.  _ Aim for the eyes  _ she psyched herself. 

It became a waiting game. Either the beast would yield and seek prey elsewhere, or Drea would get exhausted, and once the shield was gone, the beast would devour them both. Painfully and mercilessly. 

"If only I had silver...." Ruru mumbled. She had read that werewolves and any type of undead was susceptible to it. But fire could work, as well. 

"Is this your mercenary boyfriend?" Ruru asked sarcastically. "I didn't know you were into hairy men."

 

Drea didn’t find it funny. “Why are you so mean? I don’t think he knows what he’s doing. And Karnwyr does not attack us.” she pointed at the wolf who now started to howl to his friend. The werewolf did not seem to listen or if he did he did not want to stop attacking the two women. He circled around them and his eyes pierced through the shield. 

“Don’t worry. I can keep the shield up. He won’t hurt us. And he will turn back when the sun comes out.” Drea remembered that he had been naked and a slight blush crept on her face.

 

Ruru couldn't help it. Whenever facing situations like these her nerves got stretched and she became rather snappy at times. The next remark, however, she kept to herself.  _ Talk about animalistic sex....  _

"I'll make a report on him to the temple. If he's lost his humanity, he can't be let roam free and hurt innocent people like us."

 

Drea swallowed. She wanted to deny it... But Ruru was right. If he could reach them he would maybe hurt them. But for now she should focus on the shield. 

“I think this is going to be a long night.” she said. “Let’s just sit down by the fire and wait it out.”

 

Ruru nodded. They backed away slowly towards the fire. Ruru placed fire runes to some spots, just in case, but otherwise she just kept an eye on the beast, reserving her magicka to an assault. She also took a mental note to buy a silver dagger once she'd reach Solitude. And if she had enough money, she could buy one for Drea as well.

 

The night was long. At first Ruru stayed awake, watching the werewolf. He clearly knew what fire runes would do to him as he avoided them. But he kept wandering around them.

When she realized that he could not get in, though she decided to get some sleep so she would not be exhausted in the morning. Who knew what the man would be capable of doing to them even when he was no beast.

Drea stayed awake though. She kept watching the werewolf. Sometimes he would pretend to leave but she knew he was still there, waiting in the darkness, waiting for her to lower her guard. She gently petted Karnwyr who had curled up by her side once he realized she would not get hurt. But just to be sure he stayed right by her side. 

As the night progressed Drea wandered to the edge of her shield which she had fixed around the fire so the werewolf could not throw her off balance. She crouched and waited for the werewolf. He growled and ran up to her, only to stop in front of the shield.

 

He wanted to get in. To dig his teeth into his prey. Warm flesh, blood that ran from the wounds. Eat, eat. Ripping skin, cracking bones. His eyes pierced her and wandered over the body that was so fragile. Drool dripped from his fangs and he licked over his teeth. A low growl escaped his throat, almost as if to lure her out of the circle that protected her. She lifted her hand and held it out, inside the barrier. He growled lowly. His nose smelled her. So close yet so unreachable. His claw reached out but the wind repelled him. 

 

It went like this for several hours. Drea hoped so much that he would get through her shield. It would mean that he had no intention to hurt her, but it did not happen. Karnwyr watched them, wearily but also intrigued. He liked the human female. He did not want for his alpha to hurt her. 

 

Eventually the beast seemed to get tired of hunting unreachable prey. For whatever reason though, he did not run off but decided to crawl into their tent. Perhaps to annoy her or lure her out so he could catch her. There was some commotion inside the tent before it went quiet. Of course Drea was curious what the werewolf was doing, but she did not dare endangering Ruru and herself. If he broke something it was still better than getting hurt.

 

Sun's first rays hit Ruru's eyes and she woke up to a surprisingly quiet morning. At first she was content, but then the image of the werewolf flashed in her mind. 

"Drea?!" she called as she stood up.

 

Drea stood in front of their tent. She obviously was fighting with herself if she should go in or not.

“He went into our tent a few hours ago.” she told Ruru. “I think he’s back to human but I’m not sure.”

 

Ruru stood up and took a dagger in her hand. She stepped to the tent and with a powerful kick made the thing collapse on the poor man who was residing there. 

"Come out of there, now! And don't you make any sudden moves!"

 

“Ruru!” Drea exclaimed while from under the tent a deep growl came somewhat muffled. 

  
  


Bishop groaned. Damn, he was wasted. That firebrand had kicked in. Well at least the throbbing of his head meant he had not left his cave this time. Just Karnwyr had decided to sleep on top of him. “Get off me, mutt!” he growled. 

Of course the mutt didn’t. He tried to get up and then realized it was not Karnwyr. Through small eyes he tried to figure out when he had gotten in his tent. But that was not… His eyes shot open and the light stung in his eyes. FUCK! He had… Panicked he looked around. _No_ _blood_. _Gods_ , _please_ , _no_ _blood_. Then his eyes fell on a knapsack. Open. A green dress on top. And his stomach turned. This was babyface’s tent. _Gods please no blood._

He heard muffled voices. Fuck. He had to get away! 

  
  


Then the fur of the tent was cut open and Ruru's angry eyes stared right into Bishop's. "Come out of there, and if you make any sudden moves, I'll burn you to death." the woman threatened, and even a man like Bishop understood she was being serious. "Beasts like you are always hunted down and killed anyway, especially when they are hurting innocents."

 

Bishop’s eyes shot to the voice. The  _ bard _ . But next to the bard stood babyface. 

Bishop’s heart stopped for a moment before it beat twice as fast. She was alright. He had not harmed her. Neither of them. But how? had the beast gotten weak? Or did babyface have some strange werewolf taming ability? He glared at the bard. He had no doubt that she’d use that dagger. And he was naked. 

Karnwyr came over and barked at him, greeting his alpha. 

Bishop ignored him for now. 

“And now you’re going to kill me I guess.” He growled at the bard. babyface’s eyes went big and she tried to step between them.

 

Ruru pulled Drea away, ignoring the obvious attempt to shield the beast in man's form. Her eyes glared at the mercenary... no.... werewolf. 

"No, not yet. I'll give you a chance to get out of that tent and run to the farthest reaches of Nirn. I'll send proper hunters after you." Ruru's voice slashed the air with threat and contempt. She obviously felt no mercy towards this man.

 

Drea winced. “But he didn’t hurt us.”

 

"Yet", Ruru stated. "But this is the second time he's come for  _ you _ , Drea. And I bet I would have been a delicious appetizer before the main course, am I correct?"

 

Bishop wasn’t sure what to say. The bard was right, but that wasn’t surprising. What confused him was that the girl in front of him looked at him with doe eyes as if she wanted for him to say he’d never have eaten her. And he wished it was true. He wished he could control the beast, but he did not even remember what happened in those nights. He wanted to ask her. If she was alright, if he had done something. But he would certainly not show them he was weak. Instead he grinned at Ruru wolfishly.

“You are not appetizing to me, wench.” he spat. That would silence the bitch. She didn’t know him. He had not hurt them, so why should he feel guilty?

 

"Wench...." Ruru repeated the word. "Which drink I should pour down your throat? Fireball, or dagger?" the woman snapped, and before Bishop could blink a fireball shot out of Ruru's hand, right next to Bishop's face.

"And a mindless beast always eats whatever prey there is. I would have been no different from Drea, right? Now get out there before I get seriously pissed. And when I do, I won't miss."

 

Karnwyr growled at Ruru and bared his teeth to her as she attacked his alpha. 

“She’s far more appetizing to me than you.” Bishop claimed. Drea’s face turned red from flusteredness. But before she or Ruru could react Bishop attacked Ruru and forced her to drop the dagger in his open hand by turning her arm so that it would have broken had she resisted. “And don’t you ever dare to threaten me again, wench!” He threatened her in return, pressing her body against his so that she could basically feel everything. He was not hard, but Ruru could have sworn she felt his manhood at her butt before he roughly pushed her away.

 

Ruru felt disgusted, and anger boiled inside her. How dare he insult her. As soon as she was free, she turned and pointed at him with a fireball forming right at her fingertip. She gathered all of her anger to it and it grew and grew. Her glare was directed at the man. 

"And don't you ever insult me again, bastard!"

She released the spell.... but it missed, because Drea interfered. 

 

“Let’s not argue, please.” Drea said quietly. She had stopped Ruru’s fire with her own magic. “And you should not do that with only your finger. It is dangerous. You could set everything around us on fire.” 

 

Bishop’s expression had not changed while Ruru pointed the fire at him. But damn, was he glad babyface had decided to protect him. He could take a fireball when he wore his armour. It burned, it hurt like oblivion, but he’d survive it. Right now though he was naked. That thing would have killed him. 

With a frown he threw the dagger into the grass for the bard to pick up. He should kill her. She would send the vigilants after him if he didn’t. But… his eyes wandered to the girl between them. Did she know of a way to tame him? If she did… Would she share it with him? Or would the fiery bard just try to scorch him? 

He rang with himself if he should stay and ask for help, something he had never done and never would do. Normally. Or if he should run and get as far away as possible before the bard got him killed.

They stood there staring at each other before Karnwyr put an end to the staring.  He barked demandingly and then babyface stepped to Bishop and began to dig around under the tent. When she got back from under the sliced leather she held out a wide tunic to him. It looked girly, but he figured she just wanted to help and if he was honest he was getting cold. So he put it on and she smiled.

 

Ruru folded her arms and looked really pissed.  _ Great!  _ she thought.  _ She's all over that man who was trying to eat us not too long ago! _

She made a mental note to go to the temple and make a wanted poster of Bishop, so the Vigilants would take care of him. He could not be allowed to roam free with a beast inside him. Many innocents had probably died, and would keep dying if he wasn't put down like the beast he was. And Drea was already throwing doe eyes to him. Gods help her!

  
  


Obviously babyface had decided to let him travel with them. If he wanted to. And although the bard was furious she did not say anything. Probably to make him think he was safe. But he would not forget that she wanted him dead. Right now they were in the wilderness, though. So it  should be safe to travel with them until they reached a settlement. And perhaps he could find out babyface’s secret until then. 

 

They renewed the fire and Drea made breakfast. Of course she made some for Bishop, too, much to Ruru’s anger.


	5. Chapter 5

Ruru wanted to fall on her knees and kiss the earth under her feet to thank the gods for the safe journey back to Solitude the moment she saw the familiar walls and towers looming in the short distance. Finally! Solitude! Home! Home... where she would never see Milka again.

She had pushed the sadness at the back of her head, but now all the memories came rushing back and she muffled a sob. But she would memorize her friend, in songs and stories and some other way as well. If she ever got a home of her own in Skyrim, she would build a small memorial for her.

During the travel, she had... tolerated Bishop to some extent, but with all the insults he was always throwing at her direction made her hate him even more and more. She had wanted to just leave Drea with him and travel alone for the rest of the way. She just couldn't stand the doe eyes the mage was throwing at him. 

The afternoon was waning when they reached the main gates and a small patrol of guards stopped them to investigate their luggage and everything. 

"I apologize, miss. This is Jarl Elisif's order. Our High King was murdered a fortnight ago." was the explanation, and Ruru was shocked to hear this. 

"Murdered?" she asked. "Who in their right mind would do something like that?"

"Ulfric Stormcloak", another guard answered ruefully.

Ruru was even more shocked. Not an assassin, but a respected nord?!

"There's a public execution for a traitor who was his accomplice. You may enter the city. Thank you for your cooperation, ma'am."

With that the gates were opened and Ruru stepped inside the capital city of Skyrim. Her home. 

 

A lot was going on in all of their heads. For Drea entering the capital of Skyrim was exciting but hearing that the king had been murdered was scary to her. For Bishop the city was worrying for several other reasons. He didn’t care about kings or jarl. He knew the bard still wanted to see him hanging at the gallows. But he had not brought it over him to get away from Drea. Drea. He liked her name. It was simple and somehow sounded nice. Anyhow, he had stayed and was as determined as before to stay with her to figure out why she was not afraid of him. And then there was of course the other thing about cities. That there were people. And priests. And vigilants. And if they came across them Drea would not be able to save him.

 

They passed a podium, and there was a crowd of people gathered. On the podium was the captain of the guard, a prisoner in simple clothes and a hooded executioner with a huge battleaxe. Ruru didn't stay to listen as the prisoner was read his accusations and sentence. Whatever the prisoner said for his last line of defense, Ruru was already far away from the scene when the executioner's axe chopped off his head. She was determined to reach the temple and file that report about Bishop so the vigilants would take care of him.

 

Before she reached the temple though Bishop pulled her into a small backstreet. Drea stumbled after them, looking confused. “If you think you can sell me out like this think again.” Bishop growled, sensing Ruru’s motives. “Don’t forget who saved your ass from those bandits.”

The reminder that  _ he _ was the one waking them in time before the bandits fell over them should get to her. “I’m not here to get killed, wench. If you think you’d get away with sending those fuckers after me that preach mercy and have absolutely none-”

“Don’t argue.” Drea said. “Please! Can’t we just lock Bishop in when he turns and let him out in the morning?”

 

"Drop the wench and then we'll talk, you scum!" Ruru spat at Bishop's face before Drea uttered her plea. Ruru glanced at her friend. "Sure! I'll ask the blacksmith build a cage made out of silver. That ought to keep him in check, right? Too bad silver is not cheap!"

Ruru stomped on Bishop's foot so he would let her go. "If you want to kill me, go ahead! I'll make sure you will go down with me!" 

She pushed through the two and hurried towards the temple. Tears of anger fell down her cheeks. She despised the fact that Drea wanted...  _ wanted  _ to keep that bastard alive! It was obvious those two had become closer during the journey, but she would have never thought it would come to this. Had she no brains of her own? And why did she tolerate the insults the scum was always throwing at her... Drea's friend! She wouldn't have it. She just wouldn't. 

Sunken deep in her thoughts, she didn't look where exactly she was going. Her head let out a hollow  _ donk  _ as it hit against an armor of steel. She stumbled backwards, and then suddenly she was secured in the arms of a man. 

 

“Careful, my lady.” The voice that spoke was deep. Really deep. And gentle. The man who spoke carefully made her find her balance before letting go of her and apologizing. 

“Are you hurt, my lady?” 

 

Ruru dared to lift her gaze to see whom she had stumbled upon. Seeing the high class knight in front of her, she hastily made a deep, polite and respectful curtsey. 

"Forgive  _ me  _ ser knight. I was deep in my own thoughts and didn't look where I was going. I am quite alright. I apologize for this inconvenience." she explained as politely as she was able, even in her frantic state. She dared to look at the man once more. Handsome, young, with short black hair and friendly, but distant steel-blue eyes. She remembered seeing him in many occasions, but only now realized this was the first time she'd ever spoke to him.

 

The name was Casavir. Ruru recalled the name because absolutely every woman at the college had swooned over him. For a moment Ruru wondered if he knew what all those women thought of him. Then she pushed the thought aside. He was a paladin. And thus just what she needed.

 

Ruru took a deep breath and straightened her back, as she had already been given the permission to stand with a slight nod. 

"My lord, I believe you are Ser Casavir, the paladin?" she said carefully, using her respectful tone. The man nodded. 

"Yes, I am. Is something the matter, my lady?" the knight asked with a bit of concern. 

Ruru hesitated, but then she explained what had happened. She described Bishop to him in great detail, and told the knight that the man was a werewolf, a dangerous one. 

 

“Bishop.” the paladin said to Ruru’s surprise. She had not said his name. It seemed the knight had had dealings with the werewolf before. Ruru nodded and continued.

 

"On several occasions he's tried to kill me and Drea, who is my friend. We've survived only thanks to Drea's magic. Please, he must be dealt with before more innocent lives are lost!" she pleaded.

 

“Lead the way, my lady, I shall deal with the beast right now.” 

Only now Ruru saw the sword on his back. She only had to lead him to Bishop. 

 

But something fluttered in her heart. Hesitation. She pushed it away with her willpower and determination and lead the knight to where she had seen Bishop and Drea last. Of course the backstreet was empty, but it was already late and they might have gone to the nearest tavern. 

It also was possible that Bishop had run away from his eventual fate. That cowardly scum.

 

Ser Casavir did not blame her. Instead he worried for her friend. The werewolf might have taken her hostage. 

 

Ruru approached the nearest tavern, and along the way she asked about Drea from guards and other people. No one had seen her, which worried her. Panic set in. She shouldn't have left her alone with that beast of a man!

"Oh gods, let her be safe!" Ruru prayed aloud.

 

The paladin walked by her side, keeping his eyes open and his senses peeled. The woman clearly was a good person. She worried for her friend and it was no wonder, they had been in the company of Bishop for some time. She had been wise not to try and escape the werewolf’s grasp. He would have hunted her down, beast or man, and killed her and her friend. Casavir would ensure to save the girl. This time Bishop would not get away. Not this time. 

 

Ruru was practically running towards the tavern. Her worry came out as tears and sobs. Would she lose her to someone like  _ him? _ Would she really have to face the ordeals of the Dragonborn all alone?! Who would follow her? Whom could she place trust? Skyrim was as xenophobic as the planes of Oblivion. And she was the stranger, burdened by the weight of the whole world. Without Drea she was nothing... she could be nothing... she would die alone, horribly and miserably, and the world would end.

Ruru opened the door to look inside the dimly lit tavern. The innkeeper greeted her and the knight who had nimbly followed at her wake. 

Ruru's worried glance scanned around the place, but she couldn't find Drea, nor Bishop for that matter. She walked to the innkeeper and asked him if he had seen her friend... or a man with a wolf as his companion. 

_ Ironic that a beast had a beast as a pet. _

  
  


Meanwhile Bishop hid in the shadows of the temple. He couldn’t believe he was doing this. Not only was it the closest to a temple he had ever been, but also he was placing his life in the hands of a doe-eyed woman. Drea had run after Ruru and obviously wanted to stop her friend. In front of the temple Bishop had pulled his arm free and said he would  _ not _ get in there. So she had asked him to just wait outside and gone in. 

He should go. Just leave, leave Skyrim. But he couldn’t. He just couldn't. He didn’t care why, just that he couldn’t. And so he waited. Karnwyr nuzzled his hand and he crouched. The presence of his only friend gave him comfort. She would not sell him out. She wanted to help him. Even though it was impossible. 

  
  


Ruru knew she was wasting time, but she still asked around the inn. The drunken patrons only suggested indecencies, and she just left the inn to look around the city. The knight politely followed her, even though he didn't absolutely need to. 

It was worry that replaced exhaustion, and Ruru was determined to see that the werewolf would be brought to justice, no matter how much Drea adored the bastard. 

_ Adore... by the gods! _

When the taverns had brought no answers, she tried to remember every nook and cranny where Bishop might hide and keep Drea as hostage. There were some abandoned houses, the sewers, caves outside the city with vermin and necromancers... 

She glanced at the knight with an apologetic look in her eyes. "I apologize for dragging you into this. If this turns out badly... oh my gods... I have to find Drea! I have to!"

 

Ser Casavir gently took Ruru’s hand. “Do not worry, my lady. I will not leave your side until we find your friend. I suggest we return to the temple and ask some of my colleagues for help.”

 

Ruru nodded. Though the touch was subtle, and meant for comfort, she couldn't help but feel a bit... happy that someone was this considerate. Someone... a man. A knight. Paladin. Out of reach. Her heart fluttered... and then it beat normally. There, disastrous feelings averted.

"Yes. Thank you, Ser Casavir. But we are wasting precious minutes flapping our mouths, when there's a life to be saved!"

  
  


Casavir nodded and lead the way back to the temple. The woman seemed so brave even though Bishop was tougher than the average werewolf. To think she had endured his presence for several weeks to keep her friend safe… He had to save the girl. Not only because it was his duty as a paladin, but also to honour her braveness. It did not take long for them to reach the temple and Casavir did not hesitate to lead her into the back rooms and find the quarters of the vigilants. Recently there had been a lot of vampire attacks, not only in villages and on the road but also here in Solitude. The vigilants of Stendarr had taken it upon themselves to secure the streets at night and so when Casavir arrived with the young woman on his side the men and women were preparing for their nightly watch already. Casavir informed them about what had happened and Ruru added a few things she thought were important.

 

As soon as Ruru stopped her story, the vigilants seemed to work faster to get things ready. Fear and panic, which she had been pushing away, overtook her, and she started to sob frantically. She would never forgive the man if even one strand of hair was misplaced on Drea's head. She just wouldn't. 

 

Casavir carefully lead the woman to a chair in the common room. “Please, my lady, you should rest. I vow upon my honour I will not rest until we find your friend and bring that beast to justice.” He pulled out a clean tissue, something he always had on him in case a poor soul needed it. “I shall ask sister Gelda to make you some tea and will inform you if we find your friend.”

 

Ruru cleaned her eyes with the tissue the kind and considerate man had offered her. "Thank you", she sobbed. "Please... help Drea...!"

With that she started to cry even harder. Mostly from exhaustion, but all the worry and panic just had to burst out somehow. And she had always been a bit too emotional. Even a withered flower had made her sad, when it was only natural phenomenon. Nothing lasts... but Drea was something she refused to lose. Especially to a man like Bishop.

 

Casavir felt concerned. The poor woman clearly needed someone. He knew he was of more use looking for Bishop and the woman, but he decided before he would leave he would make some tea for the young miss. She was a brave woman and Casavir feared that in her desperation she might run off when he left to find Bishop on her own. And Casavir had no doubt that Bishop would kill her without hesitation. 

He decided to make a tea that would make her get tired fast and quietly asked a priestess to watch over the woman. After he returned to her with the tea it did not take long for her to sink into his arms. He dutifully carried her to the comfortable sofa and covered her with a blanket. Then he left the temple.

  
  


Meanwhile Bishop paced around in a nook that hid him in the shadows. He should just leave! He had seen the vigilants exit the temple already! It would be suicidal to stay any longer. Rage was building up inside him. That stupid wench had done it! She had sold him out! 

"I'll make sure she'll pay for this!" he cursed. Karnwyr whined and nuzzled his hand. 

"Let's just go!" Bishop finally decided.

 

That moment Drea exited the building. After not finding her in the temple she had dragged Bishop to the Bard’s College and when she was not there either they had run around town to seek out all the places Ruru had told Drea about. 

“She wasn’t here either.” the woman said, looking seriously worried by now.

 

Bishop scoffed. "Maybe she fell into the sewers and broke her neck! Serves her right! That stupid wench!" he spat with disdain. 

But he regretted his words immediately. Not that he cared about Ruru and honestly if she had really fallen and broken her neck it would be best for him but Drea was clearly hurt and even more worried now. The only human who ever had been nice to him without looking to gain something. And what was worse, she knew what he was and still was nice to him. He wasn’t going to apologize, but he felt like it was his fault that she was worried. Had he not angered the bard so much she’d not have run off like that. Even though she didn’t deserve his respect. She had tried to kill him after all. And given how the vigilants had spread out they knew he was here. So she had made it to the temple. 

Should he tell Drea to go look? He could not go there. But if she stayed? Would she come back? He pulled deeper into the shadows. Perhaps he was safe near the temple. They would not think he’d come here. He could wait for her here. His hands were trembling slightly and he quickly hid them and told her to go check the temple again. 

 

Then she vanished behind the large doors.

And Bishop and Karnwyr were alone.

  
  


Drea was lead to Ruru who was fast asleep. The priestess told her she knew not what had happened, only that she had been asked to watch over the woman. Drea was unsure what to do. She decided to write a short letter to Ruru and took the priestess's word for it to deliver it to Ruru the moment she woke up. 

 

_ Dear Ruru,  _

_ I’m sorry we argued. You were asleep when we found you. Bishop is worried to come here, so we will find somewhere to stay. When you feel better just go back to the College. I will check by and see you.  _

_ I hope you can forgive me, but I can not leave him alone. He has no-one else and I know I can keep him from harming anyone. _

_ Stay safe. _

_ Drea _

 

Then she left the temple.

  
  


As soon as Drea vanished inside the temple, Bishop felt a weird chill in the air. As he looked up, every single hair in his body stood up and all of his senses sharpened up. His nemesis marched over the yard. Casavir. The bastard paladin who had been hunting him ever since... well... a long time now. To think that he was in Skyrim of all places! He had to hide... make his presence as small and invisible as possible. 

_ Shit! Shit shit shit! _

Bishop just stared at the paladin, who scanned around the shadows with his gaze that seemed to penetrate even the deepest darkness. 

_ Hurry up, Drea!  _

Then the steel-blue eyes turned to the shadows where he was hiding. Bishop's heart stopped. He didn't breathe. He made himself as invisible as possible. But this was Casavir. If he felt even the slightest reason to investigate the shadows, he would.

_ Oh shit! _

 

And he did. Bishop could do nothing but watch helplessly as the paladin frowned and walked towards him. He stood in a dead end! 

It was the moment right before Casavir saw him that the door of the temple fell into its frame with a loud WHROMS. Casavir turned on his heel, in high dudgeon how someone dared to do this at the temple. In the entryway stood Drea, looking terribly sorry. Casavir forgave her at once.The woman had likely lost control of the heavy door and it had been an accident. But he recognized the woman from the description the young lady had given him. He turned from the shadows and walked over.

 

Bishop was as startled as the paladin, but he released the air he had held in.  _ Thank the gods for that timing! _ Bishop glanced at Drea, and silently sent out a thanks... yes... he was thanking the woman. Unheard of! But still. She had saved him from becoming a dead man.

Of course Casavir had to ruin it, though. The knight approached her, and from the look on Casavir's face Bishop deducted that the paladin recognized the woman... for some reason. 

_ Did they know each other? Was this a trap after all?! Drea had told she came from Cyrodiil, where Casavir was from as well. Oh fuck this! _

 

He watched from the shadows as Drea looked at the paladin. He could not see Casavir’s face, and Drea was covered by the paladin’s wide shoulders and armor. But he could see her taking a step back and bowing as she apologized for dropping the door. The paladin took her hands and Bishop grinned as she pulled herself free with haste.  _ Serves you right self-righteous bastard!  _ Bishop thought. He watched as Casavir said something and Drea answered. He could not make out the words, but he heard the tone in their voices. Casavir had this  _ concerned _ tone while Drea sounded like she always did. She gestured and pointed at the temple.

After a while Casavir seemed to offer her something and she refused, but he insisted and then dragged her off towards the market district. She followed him, but Bishop noticed she looked around behind Casavir’s back.

  
  


Casavir noticed the woman's glances. "Did you leave something behind, my lady?"

 

“Uh, no.” she said. “I was just thinking about Ruru. She was sleeping and I am worried. We had an argument.”

 

Casavir smiled to the woman reassuringly. "I am sure everything will fall into its right place come morning. Please, allow me to escort you safely to the inn. A young lady like yourself should not walk alone in the dark of night, the city is not safe."

 

Bishop followed them at a good distance. He could see them having a conversation, but the words eluded him. The paladin was probably telling her lies about righteousness and holy things and what else. He was probably trying to bore the woman to near sleep.

He walked through the back alleys, following closely at Drea's wake. Though it was rather risky, now that all the vigilants seemed to be alerted, and Casavir wasn't a fool either. 

_ I have to get out of this city and fast! Hide in a cave somewhere nearby! Or better yet, travel as far away as possible from Skyrim.  _

But then his heart made a small movement. He realized that he didn't want to leave. Not when Drea was... she was trying to help him, right? Could he really trust her intentions?

  
  


Casavir wondered what was going on. Bishop probably had realized that he was found out and being hunted. But why had he let the woman go? She was clearly a kind woman. Polite and friendly, a good friend, too, if he could trust the words of the young Miss who slept in the temple. He had no doubt she had wanted to help the werewolf. But a beast like him did not deserve her mercy. People had died because of him. Torn apart. And it was not only men, but also women and a child. But Casavir hesitated to tell her about this. He did not need to trouble her with this. Bishop had fled the city for sure and she and her friend were safe now. He would set out with a few men and hunt the beast down. 

  
  


Bishop watched from the shadows as the paladin escorted Drea inside an inn. The ranger understood it would be risky to stay out in the open city when the vigilants were running around, hunting... well... people like him. Casavir would make sure Drea would sleep like a log... with a certain herbal tea, and she would sleep soundly till morning. 

Bishop glanced at Karnwyr. 

"Come on, boy. Let's find a place to sleep."

 

Drea did not drink the tea the paladin ordered for her. She told the innkeep she would like some peppermint tea instead, knowing the effect of the tea well. She had to stay awake and find Bishop as soon as the paladin left. Ruru seemed to have told the paladin about Bishop. And that meant she had to warn him. Perhaps he could hide for some time and they could meet again. The paladin though stayed. And stayed. And stayed. He asked her a lot of questions that seemed innocent enough, but Drea knew he probably wanted to kill Bishop. And so she made up a story about Bishop having left to get a drink while she had looked for Ruru. The paladin could believe what he wanted. Bishop could have lied and just run off and that was that. The questions about their journey however, she answered truthfully.

 

"How exactly did you and Miss Ruru meet?" Casavir questioned politely. He refilled her cup with tea and also ordered some for himself.

 

“At Helgen. Not the best circumstances. It was when the dragon attacked. I had just come over the border. Ruru was there to play for some nobles. She is a bard, you know. Anyway we were amongst the few people who were not hurt or had lost family and so were asked to bring the news to the other holds. And Ruru and I traveled to Riften with some other people.” Drea told the paladin. He did not seem to be a bad person. 

 

"That's quite the journey to make on your own, my lady. I have only heard of the horrors that happened at Helgen, and I have ordered the citywatch to keep an eye for possible attacks near our precious city", Casavir stated. "But I digress, you were telling about Riften." he lead the woman into conversation to get some more details. Any details might help him locate the man... Bishop... and bring him to justice once and for all.

 

“Yes.” she said. “We went there but just as we were telling the Jarl about Helgen a guard came running in and told about a dragon attacking a nearby village. And the Jarl, well to be honest I don’t think she really listened to us, she sent us to kill the dragon. So somehow we got involved in this and then when the dragon died-”

 

Casavir listened, seemingly intrigued. "Yes? What happened then?"

 

“Then Ruru sucked up its soul.” The paladin looked at her in confusion for a moment. “Well, she didn’t do anything, I think. It just happened. Ruru fell over after that and the guards said she was a dragonborn, you know from that song.”

 

Casavir couldn't believe his ears. That woman, that brave, young, beautiful, good-hearted woman was the hero of old legends? Could it really be true? For the longest time the paladin was speechless. 

"What happened next?" he said, wanting to keep the conversation on. He had to admit that he was still awestruck from the news.

 

“Ruru got better afterwards and the Jarl made her a Thane.” Drea thought the man likely knew what a Thane was. “But of course this whole being a hero was scary to Ruru and so we went to High Hrothgar because there are old men on that mountain who know about dragons. They were nice. Master Einarth made a really tasty stew.”

 

Casavir chuckled. "One thing I must ask. Is Ruru her real name, or...?"

 

“Oh. Uhm no, it’s Rudia. Rudia... A… I forgot her last name.” Drea admitted. “But I just call her Ruru. Because we are friends.”

 

Casavir smiled to that statement. And because Rudia was a very beautiful name. "And friends always take care of each other", he stated. "Miss Rudia is truly lucky to have someone like you standing by her side."

 

Drea looked a little flustered and decided to just continue the story. The man honestly looked handsome and she was a woman after all. “Uhm. Then we left and decided to travel together. We thought it would be fun to go to Whiterun and so we did. And on the way we got separated and met Bishop. Ruru does not like him much. He said something mean about her performance and from there they just threw mean things at each other. So I guess it’s no wonder they don’t like each other.”

 

Casavir saw his opportunity. "How exactly did you meet him?"

 

"That was before we got to Helgen. I mean after Ivarstead. We camped outside and I went to- I mean I had a lot of tea and-” she looked flustered.” Anyhow, it was dark and I watched the sky. and then I fell over and everything went dark and when I woke up Bishop had found me. He lived in a cave there and when he woke up he brought me back to camp, but Ruru had already left. So he offered to bring me to Riverwood because Ruru and I wanted to got to Whiterun. And there we met Ruru again.” She left out the bit about the attack. Now she knew it had been Bishop, but like she would tell the paladin that. She did not know if he wanted to hurt Bishop.

 

Casavir gazed into Drea's eyes inspectingly. He noticed the woman shifted her eyes away with flushed cheeks. He had a feeling she was leaving something out of the story. 

"Are you fully aware that he is a werewolf?" he asked quietly, so that his words would not raise an alarm.

 

Should she lie? No. 

“Yes.” She said firmly. 

 

"And you do realize that he is dangerous. Werewolves always lose themselves in the taste of blood", Casavir said, trying to approach the topic from the factor of fear. "It is a miracle that you, two lone women, have survived this long with him as your companion. I am not dismissing your abilities, but even so - a man like Bishop is extremely dangerous and before more innocent lives are lost in his hands, he must be brought to justice. So, please, my lady, I implore you. If you know his current whereabouts...."

 

Drea looked up and into the paladin’s eyes. “I am not afraid of you, ser Casavir. I will not let you hurt Bishop. He may be rude and yes, he is a werewolf and when he was a beast he tried to hunt Ruru and me, but instead of trying to hurt him you -  _ you _ most of all - should help him instead of trying to harm him. It is no wonder he goes into hiding and attacks lone wanderers such as Ruru and me when the people in the cities hunt him and despise him instead of helping him.” Her voice was firm and she looked at the paladin with harsh judgement. “I was told paladins help people, not hurt them.”

 

Casavir felt a sting. Of course, over the many years as an active paladin, he had helped many people... many who were cursed by daedra, many vampires and werewolves who had sought some kind of help while they still could remain human. But Bishop had not done anything to seek redemption. He had killed and killed and ripped families into shreds. 

"My lady, if he had sought help when it was still possible to put him under control, my order would have done it. But I have witnessed with my own eyes what he is capable of. And the sight still haunts my dreams."

Though he was perplexed by this woman's compassion, which she was willingly giving to a savage like Bishop. 

 

“Have you ever offered your help to him?” Drea asked. “I think he is a good person behind all that rudeness and anger. He just never had anyone to care about him. Not that I know, just… he seems so lonely. And Karnwyr, his wolf is very nice. He likes to be petted and cuddled. Would those two really be friends if Bishop was not a good man?”

 

Casavir looked firm, but said nothing. He remembered the little farmhouse back in Cyrodiil. It had been his first assignment as a paladin. There was blood and entrails everywhere, and on the porch laid a young, naked, bloodsoaked man. As Casavir and his colleagues approached him, the man had stood up and attacked them before running off into the forest.

"Would a good person kill entire families while they were asleep, my lady?"

 

Drea did not leave her statement. “I am not saying he is a nice werewolf. I am saying that he is only a monster for one night in a month. How can you think you have the right to judge the man on the other thirty days? I may be wrong, Ser Casavir. But I think that everybody deserves a chance. And I think that Bishop just has trouble trusting anyone. And I think… If I woke up naked and in a place I did not go to sleep in and strangers in full armor approached me I would run away, too. In Bishop’s case it was that he defended himself. I think he does not remember what happens when he turns. I watched him that night. After Whiterun. He was trying to get to us but in the morning he did not seem to remember that he had hunted us and that Ruru had placed runes on the ground. But the beast had even avoided the runes.”

 

Casavir listened, and was silently amazed by the determination this woman had. Or maybe... it was something else. Her tone changed every time she spoke about Bishop. As if she was  _ adoring  _ him. Outrageous.

"Since you seem to be an expert, what do you suggest we do to him so no more innocent lives are lost? The only thing I can think of is to lock him in a cage where he can't escape. Or kill him. As a paladin, I cannot allow a man like him roam free when he loses himself to the beast that dwells inside him."

 

“And what keeps you from putting him in a cage?”

 

"He is rather elusive. Which is why I must implore you again. I swear upon my honor he won't be harmed, since there seems to be one soul who tries to care for him."

 

Drea eyed the paladin with distrust.”But I don’t know where he is.”

 

Casavir met her gaze with his own, stern one. "Do not lie to me."

 

“I am not lying.”

 

When the paladin just looked at her sternly she repeated. “I am telling the truth. We were looking for Ruru together but then you came. And I’m sure he did not wait so you could hurt him once you found him. Ruru said she’d report him so the vigilants would kill him. That is why we argued. Because I don’t want Bishop to die.”

 

"Such compassion towards a murderer is often unwise, my lady. But, I shall not bother you much longer. I have other duties to attend to. I wish you a good night and pleasant dreams."

Casavir stood up, made a slight bow to the woman before he left the inn. He caught up with a pair of vigilants and told them what he had heard. Of course the vigilants disagreed with him. He understood it would be a chase of cat and mouse. Vigilants would never allow a werewolf to roam free. 

Casavir pondered upon what he had heard from the two women. Miss Rudia obviously thought she would do the right thing to report a monster.... but now that he had heard the other side of the story, Casavir's pledge shifted. He had sworn to protect and help those in need and bring justice to those that hurt innocents. 

Bishop was a werewolf, he killed once a month in a form of a beast that had no remorse in doing so. And no one, but this one woman, was willing to try and help him. Should he abide to Miss Drea's pleas, or Miss Rudia's? 

First of all, before making a decision, he had to read some tomes about lycantrophy to refresh his memory on the matter. Secondly, he would need to make an official plea to the leader of the vigilants that he would take charge when it came to Bishop. That much he could do to help, if Bishop was a man to accept it from someone like him.

  
  


Meanwhile Drea returned to the temple to look for Bishop. It was as she had feared. He had left. What would happen if she did not find him again? She could contain him with her magic, but only when he was near. Now he was gone and maybe he even thought she had betrayed him. If it was true that Bishop and this paladin had met before then he maybe thought she was selling him out like Ruru. She sighed sadly. 

 

As Drea could not find any trace of Bishop in the city, she decided to sleep till morning and continue her search then.

 

Ruru woke up with a startle. As stared at the unfamiliar ceiling, and tried hard to remember where she was. Then it all hit her like a gust of wind. She had met the paladin, Ser Casavir, and he had promised to hunt Bishop down along with the vigilants. But how on earth had she found her way onto a sofa... properly covered and... Then she remembered Drea. Her worry hit her like a mace in the guts. 

Then a friendly face came into her field of view. From the light brown robes the woman was wearing, Ruru immediately recognized her as a priestess.

"Good morning, child. I hope your dreams were pleasant", the woman greeted her and offered a cup of herbal tea. "Drink this, it'll drive away the drowsiness."

Ruru sat up and took the cup the priestess offered her. She slowly sipped the tea and watched as the priestess sat down onto a chair right next to the sofa she had occupied.

"Your friend told me to give you this", the priestess said and handed the note to Ruru. "She came here while you were sleeping."

Ruru took the note and read it.  _ That stupid, idiotic, suicidal maniac!  _ Was the first thought that came to her as she read the note. But then she started to think about a little. She had been angry, for a good reason. The ranger was disrespectful and he always got on her nerves. She  _ despised  _ him, but maybe for the wrong reasons. It wasn't his fault if he was cursed, and they had managed to survive thanks to Drea's magic. But still... was Drea seriously falling for a man that would rip her apart from the slightest of reasons?!

Ruru decided to put her thoughts aside. Just thinking about it now caused her head to throb. She finished her tea and told the priestess that she would go to the Bards' College.

"If you see ser Casavir, please give him my regards", Ruru said to the priestess.

Ruru exited the temple and took a deep breath. The air was clean and fresh, with a touch of the saltiness of the ocean. She had hated it, at first, but then after many years she had come to love it. It felt like home to her now.

Ruru's stride was light as she walked to the college. The huge building was already resonating with music as she entered. To her surprise the headmaster and lead bard was standing in the entrance hall and was the first one to welcome her back.

Ruru exchanged pleasantries, and then she asked if she could bathe and put on something more comfortable. The headmaster gestured her to do as she pleased. This was her home, after all. Ruru went upstairs into her room which she shared with another bard, Ginnem. They had both been accepted at the same time as apprentices, and they had become fast friends. Ginnem was an imperial, a very beautiful young woman with a very beautiful voice. Ruru had always felt a bit jealous about her, but they still were good friends. 

Fifteen minutes later Ruru sank into the warm water the tub was filled with. Thanks to the plumbing system, she could enjoy this kind of luxury. Back home in the farm they had to carry water and boil it and then have a bath...

She relaxed and let her thoughts run their course in her head. One after another she emptied her mind, tried to forget everything that had happened before she had left for Helgen. But she couldn't. Not when she could feel the dragon souls inside her, filling her with knowledge she couldn't comprehend. 

"Our hero, our hero claims a warrior's heart", Ruru sang the line as she opened her eyes and stared up at the ceiling. "With a voice wielding power of the ancient nord art..."

After her long bath, Ruru dressed into a fancy, yet simple dress, she combed her long dark brown hair, let it free and applied light makeup to frame her eyes. Once she was done, she went downstairs and into the library.

  
  


Although Drea had said she’d meet Ruru at the College her worry Bishop might have run off was greater and so she began to ask around for the man and his wolf. Of course no-one knew anything and it was not surprising. Bishop likely had hidden in the shadows. 

It was already noon when she sank down and sat on the side of a planter. How should she ever find him?

 

People just passed her by, not caring for a woman who seemingly had troubles of her own. Then Drea noticed the paladin in the distance, talking to a guard.

 

What if they had found him? Drea was on her feet before the paladin could get away and rushed up to him. Then she waited right next to him as she found it impolite to intrude in an ongoing conversation.

 

".... the reports are unclear, ser paladin. We only heard of a commotion in the harbour", the guard informed.

"Which of your colleagues were on the shift there?" Casavir questioned.

"Agnar, Gunmar and Kjell, ser. If you need to see the reports, talk to the captain."

Casavir nodded. "Thank you, good man. Please, continue your patrolling." with that permission, the guard left.

Of course Casavir had taken notice of the woman earlier, but only now he turned to look at her.

"Good morning, my lady", he greeted politely. "You seem troubled. Have no fear, the mon- I mean Bishop has not been caught yet, and I have already placed an official plea to the leader of the vigilants to bring Bishop back alive, if he is caught."

 

Drea’s face showed that she did not agree with something he said, but before he could figure out what it was she turned and went for the gates. Casavir noticed she had her knapsack on her back.

 

"My lady!" Casavir hurried after her. "The harbour is not a place for a lone, good woman like yourself. Please, allow me to accompany you."

 

_ The harbour? _ Drea thought. What would she want at the harbour. She threw the paladin a confused, but still angry look. “I don’t see why I would go to the harbour. And where I go is also none of your business.” And just to show the man how much she did not accept his holiness she added “And my parents told me not to go with strangers.”

 

Casavir stopped in the middle of his steps. "And yet you allowed strangers near you. Strangers like Bishop", he frowned. "But as you wish. I shall leave you to your business."

 

Drea felt only a little bad. She left the city through the main gates and just followed the road for a while. If Bishop had left he would probably not have followed the road. She had noticed how he had avoided going to Rorikstead. He had told them they’d be faster through the wilderness and that that way they would avoid highwaymen. But Drea thought it was likely not the only reason. But if he had gone into the forest how would she find him? She could not just sniff him out or.. wait a moment… this could work. She digged through her pack until she found the tunic she had borrowed Bishop when he was naked. He had worn it only briefly but perhaps it was enough to follow him with clairvoyance. She focussed and cast the spell and as she focussed harder an almost invisible trail lead to her right into the forest.

  
  


Bishop finished the make-shift tent he had made out of sticks and moss. He had the bedroll he had recovered after the full moons, however he didn't have coin for a proper tent. The rest he just had to find in the wilderness. 

After the tent was done, he started to make a campfire. He listened to his surroundings... and he lifted his eyes when he saw movement in the bushes. Soon Karnwyr emerged with a large hare in his mouth.

"Good boy", Bishop praised his friend.

As he returned to make the campfire, his thoughts wandered to last night. That wench of a bard had sold him out, and vigilants were on the hunt for him. Not only vigilants, but that fucking paladin as well. And he had seen Drea talking to him. Fuck it! Maybe he should get on a ship and travel... anywhere. Maybe High Rock. Or Hammerfell. No, too hot. Morrowind then. He knew there were people like him there aplenty.

Far away from the baby-faced woman... His hands stopped as he thought of her. For whatever reason, that woman was still alive... even when he had... 

Fuck it. He should just go. Just go. Hide, live like a wanderer till the day he died. If werewolves could die like normal mortals.

 

He and Karnwyr slept through the night and in the morning they went to hunt. Bishop tried to push all thoughts aside. Especially those about her. It was new to him travelling with someone not to get money for booze but to... what was it even? She could not cure him. There was no cure. And whatever she did maybe one day the beast would get her anyway. But even when he pushed all those thoughts aside… She was special. 

There had been many little moments during their journey to Solitude that surprised him about her. She had shared her food with him, had asked him if he was cold and she even had made a tunic for him. He had never had much money and so it was no wonder that his clothes were made from fur and leather. The tunic he had worn for he-didn’t-remember-how-long was torn and stained and without even asking she had just made that thing one evening by the fire. And once she had finished it she had pushed it in Bishop’s hands and told him to try it on. 

“I am not a customer of yours, woman.” he had told her but she had let go of the tunic and it had lain on his lap for a while. “It’s a gift.” she had said and after looking at her he had figured she really didn’t want money. Nor did she seem to want something else for it. And the cloth had felt nice under his hands. So he had taken off his armour and put the tunic on. 

Or that time when she had watched over the landscape, obviously enjoying it and the bard had begun to talk shit again and he had not taken it and then somehow they had fought again. And Drea had just turned around and asked if they couldn’t just be happy about the sunrise and the wind and the amazing view. Somehow it had made Bishop forget about the bard and he had been wondering about it all day. And during the nights. Those two slept long. While he and Karnwyr were awake before the sun rose the two women slept in the tent Drea had summoned. The idiotic bard had cut their tent to shreds and rendered unusable that morning after the full moons. He wondered how that woman survived without Drea. He had watched them sleep. It would have been so easy for him to kill them. He didn’t care much about the bard. In fact he didn’t care about the bard at all, but that night he had thought about teaching Drea a thing or two about sleeping in the wilds. So she wouldn’t get eaten by the next beast. 

 

His thoughts were stopped as Karnwyr let him know there was prey up ahead.

Food. Good. They would need it.


	6. Chapter 6

It was a few hours later that he heard a human coming through the forest. And it was clearly not a hunter. Way too loud.

Then Drea stumbled in his sights. He looked at her for a moment before he realized she was looking for him. What other reason could she have to be here? But how had she found him?

Drea saw him and he could see something on her face. Exhaustion? No. She was not afraid either. He tried hard to find the emotion but she was in front of him before he figured out that it was relief. 

“I found you!” She sounded excited.

 

"Congratulation. Am I to expect more visitors with pitchforks, torches and silver swords?" Bishop asked rudely as he eyed the woman with utter suspicion.

 

“No.” she said. “I don’t think so. Unless they followed me, but I don’t think so.”

 

"Whatever", Bishop said with an uncaring tone. "Now that you have found me, you can go back and report to those bastards. But don't fret. I won't be here when they arrive."

 

“I’m not Ruru.” Drea said with a face that was somewhere between a pout and determination. To Bishop those emotions were hard to read. He was not with people much. He could read wolves. He knew when a wolf was happy or sad or confused or worried or anything. But human emotions eluded him. At least he could not read them well.

 

"So, instead of your friend, you come running to me. Must be my lucky day!" Bishop mocked. "Or did you want something else?"

 

There was a short pause as she thought. Bishop watched her. Carefully.

“So…” She paused and thought more. 

“If You could chose not to be a werewolf would you do it?”

 

"That's a big if, babyface. There is no cure, other than being killed by a silver sword", Bishop snapped at the woman. But the truth was, he had never thought about it much. He had always been a werewolf. As long as he could remember. Well… not always… But he could not remember anything before it.

 

“But we could just put you in a cage when you have those nights and then everyone would be safe.” she said in that innocent voice of hers. 

 

It enraged Bishop. As if she knew what it was like.

Memories invaded his mind. The cages he had been in. They put him into cages and rooms with the bandits that disagreed with them. Or merchants or wanderers they wanted to get rid of. They had kept them locked up until the moons were full. And then Bishop had been put into their cages. Some were just as monstrous as his  _ family. _ Others had not known him. Not known what he was. There had been a woman who held him in her arms, telling him they would get out of the cage, telling him he’d be alright. He had woken up in her entrails just like with all these other people. 

Bishop did not notice that tears were streaming down his face as they had when he was a kid. 

 

Drea watched the man. A moment ago he had looked like he wanted to strangle her and now he cried. Did he think she wanted to lock him up? She just wanted to help him. 

She decided fast to act as if she had not seen him cry. The ranger was more like a wolf than a man and in the short time they had travelled together she had thought about it a lot. Wolves were not like people. Not always anyways. Karnwyr for example liked to be petted and spoiled, but when he had been wounded he had snapped after her when she had tried to heal him. She had thought about it while Bishop took care of his friend. When a wolf did not trust someone he would let them close but not when he was hurt or vulnerable. And Bishop often acted like a wolf. It was not only his way of eating or how he bared his teeth at Ruru when they fought, the growling and how he sniffed the air were another part of it. Perhaps as a wolf you had to be more careful not to become prey. And be the strongest in the pack. So if she showed Bishop that she knew how vulnerable he was he would growl and snap at her.

So instead of pushing him she acted busy. She unpacked some food and without looking up she placed a small bread roll on the stump for him. 

Drea had noticed that Bishop liked bread. She was not sure why, but it became quite clear when she had given him the last bread roll and Ruru had suggested they should share it. He had eaten it as if someone would try to take it from him. He had turned away and when Ruru had stepped closer he had growled at her and protected the bread with his hands. And before that he had always cut a larger bit of the bread for himself when Drea had asked him to cut some bread for everyone. Useless to say that Ruru always got a notably smaller piece than him or Drea. 

She hoped Bishop would see the bread and eat with her. Food calmed wolves just as much as men. Karnwyr sniffed the bread and came over to her, sniffing her pack. She digged a little more and offered the nice wolf a small treat from the ham she had bought. The wolf ate it all before nuzzling her in thanks. 

 

Meanwhile Bishop had noticed he was crying and he made a great effort to act as if he had gotten something into his eye. But he was a man, so he didn’t rub them or anything but snorted and wiped his arm over the eyes and nose. He felt the softness of the tunic and thought about how she had not wanted anything for it. He dared to throw a look at her. She was eating bread and gently petted Karnwyr who, as always, enjoyed it. Then he saw the bread roll on the tree stump. He wondered for a moment if it was misplaced but it lay out of her reach. And it was bread. 

 

Drea tried hard not to laugh as Bishop snatched the bread and went a bit further to eat it, his looks daring her to speak up and forbidding him to eat the bread. Yes, he was definitely more like a wolf sometimes.

 

When she did not complain he turned a bit more to her as he ate. Only now he noticed he had not eaten anything since they had reached Solitude. The deer they hunted had gotten away. But here he was. Having something to eat even though he had not hunted successfully. He devoured the bread within moments and still felt hungry. Drea watched him from her stump further away. 

“There is more if you want.”

He looked at her carefully and thought about his answer. Admitting that he was hungry meant to admit he was weakened. But they were alone and babyface was not strong. He reminded himself that she was a mage. She could burn down the forest. 

 

As Bishop kept silent Drea unpacked another bread roll. This time she cut it in half.

 

Bishop watched her. He wanted to eat all of it. But his face had no change in expression as he continued to watch. She unpacked some cheese and cut a very generous slice of it. Bishop drooled. Cheese was another thing he liked. A lot. He was about to run up to her and steal the bread to eat it before she could. But she was a mage. So he waited. And watched. She cut some ham, too, and then put both of it between the bread. Bishop wanted this bread. 

He wanted it. He wanted it more than anything. 

 

Drea tried hard not to grin as from the corner of her eyes she saw Bishop crouching and staring at her hands and the bread. He looked like Karnwyr right now. Karnwyr on that day when Bishop had hunted a young boar and prepared it. Bishop had trouble keeping the wolf away from it. But Drea was not done just yet. She put the bread right next to her and searched the inside of her backpack for a fresh apple she meant to cut for him, too. 

When she looked up Bishop was right in front of her. She flinched in surprise. There had been no sound. He grabbed the bread and hurriedly bit in it. 

 

The moment she looked in her pack he was over the bread. Served her right for not protecting her food. Now it was his. He quickly bit in it. People were picky about eating things someone else had bitten in. He grinned at her, daring her to speak up once again. 

But to his surprise after the first shock she smiled at him. Seeing this made him stay right there and eat right next to her. He even slowed down when he realized she was not going to ridicule him or take it away. 

While eating he still kept a watchful eye on her. She began to cut an apple and ate one bit of it before offering him some, too. It was still hard for him to understand this. Bread cost money. Cheese did. Ham did. She had bought all of this. And she did not get angry at him for taking it. 

 

“I’m sorry about the cage.” she said. “I just thought that it would be safer for everyone if you stayed locked away for this time. But I understand that you don’t trust anyone. They would hurt you or never let you out again, right?”

 

Bishop looked at her and sat down more comfortably. He didn’t want to talk about his beast. But maybe… just maybe she would let him out. And she would definitely not put people into the cage. But…

“I don’t trust anyone. Life is easier that way.” 

 

“If I was the one with the key, would you trust me?”

Bishop looked into big eyes that conveyed nothing but warmth. 

“I would not hurt you. Never.”

 

Bishop frowned. "That's what they all say, little girl", he mocked with growling voice. "So why don't you just leave me alone like everyone else?!"

 

The question surprised her. Yes. Why didn’t she? Because she wanted him to be happy.

“Because I like you. I want you to be happy.”

 

Bishop scoffed. She was obviously trying to lower his guard. "Nice try, but I ain't buying your bullshit."

 

Ah. He thought she was lying. “I could offer you another way. But it is less safe. You could get hurt.” She was sure he didn’t want to hurt people. That he didn’t want to kill anyone.

She just had to prove to him that he could trust her.

 

Drea couldn't even blink when Bishop was pinning her down against the ground. His sharp gaze drilled right into her own, deep within her soul. 

"You stupid girl. There's no way to help me. If you don't want to get ripped apart, you better stay away from me. Because the next the moons rise full, my beast will seek you out... again and again till I can finally bathe in your blood." he growled at her. She didn't understand what he had done, what would happen... 

 

She was surprised by him, but although she flinched at first she did not struggle. 

“I know there is no cure. At least no-one knows of any. But you would not have to be afraid of hurting anyone anymore.” She tried to sit up and looked at him. “I know you don’t care much for people, but that does not mean you don’t care about hurting them. Do you remember anything about those last two full moons?”

 

Bishop stepped away as quickly as he had pinned her down. He just stared at her scornfully, said nothing about those moments. He just returned to his original place and started to sharpen his hunting knife.

A long silence fell between them.

 

Drea could see he was troubled. 

“The first night, by Helgen, you jumped at me.” She started quietly. “I did not know werewolves were real. At first I thought it was a wolf. All I remember is that I was pinned to the ground and if I had used magic I would have destroyed everything around. And then everything went dark. The next thing I know I was lying in your cave. It was dark and there were several wolves. And you lay on my legs. And I was not sure if you were a wolf or a werewolf. And I was afraid that if I’d move you’d kill me. So I lay still. And somehow I think I fell asleep and when I woke up there was you. Naked. On my legs.”

 

Bishop's hands stopped for a moment when the woman finished her story, but then he just continued. He really didn't care. He didn't want to care. If only that stupid woman would just leave him alone... He didn't want to be the one killing her. Why? Because....  _ I like her too. _ He scoffed again. But he couldn't trust anyone. Not even her. 

 

When Bishop did not say anything she continued.

“The last full moons Ruru and I had made camp and Ruru had gone to bed when you came. You attacked me before I saw you, but I summoned a wind shield. So we both were thrown over. When I got up I saw you. The fire was bright enough that I could see you. You were a werewolf, but only when I saw Karnwyr and he came to me I realized it was you. You tried to get through my shield. Karnwyr barked at you. I don’t know what he was doing or trying to tell you, but to me it looked like he wanted you to stop. But you didn’t.”

She noticed Bishop moved his sharpening stone slower. He looked agonized. But she had already decided to go through with this.

“Ruru woke up from the commotion and you tried to attack her and she shoot a fireball at you. But it seemed you were smart as a werewolf and you avoided it. I got Ruru into the shield and you continued to try and get in. Ruru placed fire runes around.”

 

Here he stopped and scoffed. No surprise to him that the bitch had tried to kill him. When he looked up Drea looked… guilty?

 

“You… you went around them. Ruru went to sleep when she realized I could keep us safe until morning. But you kept going. So after a while I figured I should find out if you were in there somewhere. You tried to lure me out and you tested the shield. you even tried to throw a stick in.” She chuckled suddenly. “I think to werewolf-you it was pretty frustrating that Karnwyr could get in and you couldn’t.”

Her hands stroked over Karnwyr’s fur. “He stayed with us all night. I think he tried to get you to stop and protect us. But you did not attack him. He got out of the shield several times and I was worried you’d hurt him, but whatever you two… talked… about it was in vain. You tried to dig under the shield and get over it and everything. It was almost morning when you decided to go into our tent. You made a lot of racket in there before it got quiet. And then eventually Ruru woke up and kicked the tent and there you were.”

 

Bishop stayed quiet and averted his eyes from the woman. It wasn’t like he had anything to say... he just didn't have the right words. Whether or not this was true, he had somehow found her in his beast form. He had made her into his target that he wanted to consume. The thought alone was enough to make him want to gag, but he kept his emotions under control. No wonder the bard wench had acted the way she did. But like hell he would apologize to her!

 

She was silent for a long while. The forest around them seemed to be, too. 

“I was worried I’d hurt you.” she said quietly. So quiet that for a moment he wasn’t sure if he had heard her right.

 

Bishop frowned. Why would she be? She would have every right to hurt him if the beast was trying to rip her open.

 

She said nothing more, just sat there and looked miserable. Karnwyr nuzzled her and she petted him.

 

"You should go", Bishop eventually stated coldly. "I bet your friend is waiting for you."

 

“I don’t want to.” She said. It was about as rebellious as an ant who was lead to a different path with a leaf.

 

"Fine. But I won't care for your survival out here", Bishop said coldly and began to make a fire.

  
  


Ruru walked to the market, dressed nicely but warmly. Her hair was in a neat braid that went over her shoulder and decorated with hairpins. She had come here to buy some things to replace those she had lost in Helgen. Thank goodness she still had her savings back in the college.

She hoped to get a new lute at least, and if she still had enough money, she could go to the blacksmith and ask for a dagger made out of silver. With Bishop around, she needed all the protection she could muster. She had read tomes about werewolves while in the library, and each one had said that fire and silver were the best things to keep a beast like that away.

The little shop for musical instruments was still the same as ever, as she walked towards it. She could only hope that Bishop would be caught soon. 

She stepped inside the shop and greeted the elderly man behind the counter. The walls were decorated with paintings of famous bards with their various instruments, and on many shelves there were drums, flutes, lutes and other instruments from all over the world, some which Ruru had only read about during her studies. 

"Good afternoon, missy", the shopkeeper greeted back. "Is there something particular you're looking for?"

Ruru flashed a smile. "I need a new lute. My old one got smashed."

Only now Ruru noticed the man recognized her from the college. "Ah, you are the young bard they sent out. I remember the lute they gave you. It was a masterpiece. What a pity it faced such an unfortunate fate."

Ruru could only agree. The resonance of that instrument was just perfect for her music.

"Yes. Do you have anything similar to that one currently for sale?"

The shopkeeper fell into pondering silence. Then he started to pace around the shop, looking at the lutes he had on the shelves. "Hmm", the man hummed as he took one of them and gave it to the woman. "Try this one."

Ruru took the instrument in her hands and softly plucked the strings. However the sound wasn't what she was looking for.

"No, no, that's not good at all!" the man hastily took the lute back, placing on the shelf and gave the woman another one. Ruru plucked the strings again, but the man was not pleased this time either.

"No, it needs a softer tone!"

Almost frustrated the man stomped to the backroom and Ruru could hear the man open wooden cases. Occasional "No, not this one" was heard and Ruru just stood there, waiting patiently.

Eventually the old man came back with a case on his arms. He placed it on the counter and gestured the woman to open it.

Ruru did and was amazed to see a graceful lute made from white wood, with painted decorative vines going over the front and the sides. The neck was just right for her touch and the eight strings were just like in her old one. It looked fairly new, which worried her, but still... just the sight of took her breath away. She took the instrument and took her stance. When the first note resonated in the air, she thought she had never lost her old one.

The shopkeeper nodded. "Yes, that's the one. It resonates just like the bard who plays it."

Ruru placed the lute back into its case and closed it. "How much is it?" she asked carefully.

When the shopkeeper told the price, Ruru wanted to refuse. But the thing was, she needed an instrument. A bard without one was no bard at all. She couldn't sing songs when there was no music to make it come alive in people's hearts.

"Gods... I need to save up again", Ruru said and glanced at the case where the lute rested. "But, I'll take it. I just need to work hard."

Ruru exited the shop with the lute case in her arms. She still had some coins left, and she was reconsidering of buying that dagger. But it would be wiser to buy it nonetheless. Better safe than sorry.

  
  


Drea stayed with Bishop for a while. She knew she should go back and at least tell Ruru she would stay with Bishop and keep him safe from her and anyone who tried to hurt him. But as she took her things she realized she had no idea where she was. 

Normally Bishop would have either not cared or told her it was going to cost her. But then he thought about the food she had given him. With some grumbling he offered her to get her near the road, which was already dangerous for him. 

  
Drea arrived in Solitude as night fell. She went directly to the College and asked for Ruru.

 

She was led to the library and the master bard pointed at the corner, where, indeed, Ruru was sitting with piles of books stacked next to her on the table and on the floor. It seemed she was writing something, too.

 

Drea sat down next to Ruru and looked at the books. Lycantrophy, werewolves, silver. She was not sure if Ruru wanted to help Bishop or kill him. But it was clear she had thought about him.

 

Ruru gazed at the woman. "I don't understand this fixation of yours. Why are you so desperate helping out a man who is clearly trying to eat you every time he changes?"

There was no anger, sarcasm or vituperation in her voice. Only genuine concern. 

"I was worried about you, you know? I wanted to do what was right for both of us... for all of Tamriel. You understand this, right? Or have your feelings got in the way?"

 

Drea looked at Ruru with confusion. “What is your problem with me wanting to help someone? You are the one who decided killing him would be the right thing to do. I have my own opinion on that. And I don’t agree with you.” She looked serious. “If you have a problem with Bishop then don’t take it out on me. He is rude and unkind to you, but that does not mean you have the right to send assassins after him.”

 

Ruru frowned but then her expression returned to normal. "I have been studying lycantrophy since I got back here, trying find a solution to his... shall we say... lust for blood."

That surprised Drea, and Ruru saw that. 

"It's true I think of him as scum, but it's only because he has had no one to tell him how to act properly around people, and being a werewolf does not help much, now does it?"

 

Drea was not convinced yet. But she felt that Ruru was willing to change her views on Bishop. And that made her smile. “Did you find out anything?”

 

"There is a herb called Wolvesbane. It's.... intoxicating to werewolves. Apparently vigilants used it to tame them and... well... do some unimaginable things", she said and pointed at a tome titled: Werewolves, an autopsy.

"But rare in these parts of Tamriel", Ruru finished. "Getting some fresh would be difficult."

 

Drea looked into the book that lay open. There was a picture of a plant with purple blossoms. Drea remembered it. It grew in Cyrodiil. Back home.

“What does it do to the werewolf?”

 

Ruru flipped through some of her notes. "If I remember correctly... ah here we go", she took a sheet where she had drawn the herb precisely like in the book and added information under it, like what it looked, smelled and felt like, where it grew and other things.

"If a person with lycantrophy smells this plant, they feel nauseous, and eventually fall asleep. If done in human form, it slows the change during full moon, and in werewolf form it makes them docile to a point where they don't react to any stimuli", Ruru read. "But the side-effect is that overtime the person will build resistance to it, and eventually its effect is rendered useless."

 

“Then it is no use.” Drea said “But at least there is hope.” 

She took the book and read it herself. It was as Ruru had said. The book described unspeakable things done on werewolves. Not only on their beastly bodies, but also as humans. The most terrible methods of torture were described in detail. She began to see why Bishop did not trust the vigilants or paladins wanted to help him. If they willingly tortured people he would simply drown in his own blood, watched by them and poked with metal bars to test if he was still struggling. She would not let such people lay hand on him! Even if it meant endangering herself. She would go to him when the moons were full once more and she would keep him away from people and she would make herself his prey. 

Ruru saw her determined look.

 

"Whatever you are thinking, think again", Ruru frowned, but then she sighed. There would be no stopping this woman. She had already fallen too deep into that man's trap. What a foolish woman. 

"I'll look into this a bit more. I was reading an old tome about ancient rites, and there was a section for warding off werewolves and vampires. Old wives tales."

 

“Sooo… you do not want to kill Bishop anymore?”

 

"No. I even pleaded to the leader of the vigilants, but I do not know if my plea is good enough. I'm no-one important after all. Just a bard. I'd need someone high ranking to back my words up, and there's no-one I know who would do that." she said calmly, before her voice became stern. "But don't get me wrong. I won't try to kill him, but if he decides that I'm a tasty snack, I won't hesitate to defend myself."

 

Of course Drea was still a little upset about what Ruru had done. But she was not someone to cry over spilled milk for long. Ruru obviously wanted to make amends and help Bishop. Not to forget that she had her own problems after all. 

“Soooo… if I asked Bishop if he wants to come with us… and he wants to… What would you think about that?”

 

Ruru glanced at Drea. "Should I think anything of it? It's his decision. I would, of course, appreciate the help he could provide when I pursue my destiny as the dragonborn."

 

Now  _ that _ really surprised Drea. But it made her happy. Now she only had to ask Bishop. And convince him to come with them. Somehow. 

 

It was then that the master bard approached them and gestured Ruru over. The young bard stood up and walked over to the man and after exchanging a few words, Ruru returned to Drea and sat down on the chair she had been occupying.

 

Drea had buried herself in the books while Ruru was gone. She had decided to copy Ruru’s notes for Bishop. Maybe he had use for them. She could imagine he had not been able to get such informations. He kept away from people. 

“Is everything alright?” she asked when Ruru returned.

 

"Yes", Ruru answered. "I was told that there's a dinner party at the Blue Palace in a few days, and I'm one of the few bards performing there."

Then as she started to skim through a book, her thoughts wandered. What if the paladin would be there? Confused by this silly concern, she drove that thought in the back of her head. She had never thought like this before. And Ser Casavir was a paladin! A nobleman! Like he'd ever be available to anyone, least to someone like her.

_ Besides, would men even want a woman like me in the first place? Me, not the dragonborn. _

 

They worked with the books for a while before Drea decided to get back to an inn and get some sleep. She wished Ruru good luck for her performance and hugged her friend. She felt better now. It felt like they had made up.

 

Ruru returned the gesture, both hugging and wishing Drea pleasant dreams. Once Drea left, she continued her studies, but eventually exhaustion took over her and she retired to her room.

 

The next day Drea went to the market and bought a few things. Ruru on the other hand was nervous. Of course she had this great new instrument and she had been to the blue palace before. But last night she had dreamed of Sir Casavir. She had no idea why his handsome face snuck into her dreams. And her thoughts. And the warmth of his hand that she still remembered seemed to linger on hers when she thought about him, but the mere idea of running into him at the palace or worse, playing badly in his presence, made her so incredibly nervous that her hands were shaking slightly.

 

But even so she practised her songs with the new lute dutifully. She wouldn't be singing, however, that glory was reserved to Ginnem, and the poor woman was nervous even during rehearsal. So during a break she taught Ginnem a small trick to get past the nervousness, and they both used it to relax their minds before the master bard called them back inside the classroom.

The days went past so quickly Ruru couldn't really believe it when she stood at the courtyard of the palace. She and her colleagues entered the building from the side door, which was the servant's entrance, and they were led into a small room where they could get ready for their performance. Ruru's heart was pounding the whole time. She remembered her dreams about the knight. Every night till now she had dreamt of him, and she found it alarming. Was she really going to be like all those poor noble ladies who whispered in the corners about their fantasies of the handsome paladin? 

_ Focus!  _ she psyched herself and took out her lute. She made sure the strings were correctly tuned, and that her dress was neat and her hair was appropriate. She quickly glanced at her reflection from a small mirror and quickly fixed her makeup before she decided that she was ready.

They were called into the ballroom fifteen minutes later, and automatically Ruru's gaze wandered over the guests who were present, before they stood in front of the Jarl, greeting her with bows and curtseys before taking their places on the podium.

Ruru took her stance... and as she gazed forward, her stare met steel-blue eyes. She could feel a rush of blood, and the heat on her cheeks. Sheepishly she looked down at her fingers which plucked the strings on their own.  _ He was watching! He was here and he was watching! _

 

Casavir did not notice Ruru. There were a lot of people dressed up in their best finery and although he would have recognized the young woman out on the street right now she was made up so fancy that she looked quite different than the day they had met. 

To Casavir the occasions were quite dull most of the time. He had long accepted that a lot of women were all too happy to even openly stare at him. Such indecency! What was more bothersome to him were the men that occasionally came up to him and demanded gratification in form of a duel. As a man of honour he was not able to refuse them but he also had no interest in fighting mindless battles. He had never lain hand on their women, daughters or lovers. 

So when yet another young lady lay eyes on him, in this case Ruru, he knitted his brows in slight anger. Not directed at her, of course, but he avoided giving the woman any ideas by simply not looking at her. 

Being born a noble he had been taught not only manners but also all kinds of protocol to follow. So whenever his order needed someone to make good child with the nobility he usually was sent. It was another part of his service to the people. Even when he did not like each part of it he would dutifully mingle and make sure the nobles kept supporting the temples and those who were less lucky.

 

Ruru, of course, saw the frown on Casavir's face. But she couldn't understand the reason. Maybe he was just stressed.  _ I know I would be if I had to mingle with shallow-minded people like most of the noble were. _

Ruru mentally spanked herself for thinking like that and concentrated on her strumming. She offered background singing to Ginnem, as well, but she mostly just played. Of course their performance received applause and praises from the nobility, and once the main performance was over, Ruru and the others took turns and played and sang decent songs to the dining nobility. If they did well during that time, they might get some extra as payment.

When it was Ruru's turn, she played and sang a love ballad from her home country.

 

Casavir sat it all out. The rather mindless rambling of an old nord warrior who had a lot to say about the killed High King, the drooling ladies, their mothers who just  _ had _ to introduce their  _ lovely _ daughters, the nobles that tried to make connections to his family, everything. He knew it would have been rude to simply eat another piece of cake just to avoid another conversation and so instead he greeted the next noble lady and her oh so charming daughter. Of course not all of the conversations were dull and many of the young misses that were introduced to him had fine manners and were even nice to talk to, but he could not help but tiring fast from all of this. It had been one of the reasons why he had become a paladin. 

he noticed that High Queen Elisif - no, Jarl Elisif it was now - looked like she wanted to do nothing more than to flee this ball as well. The poor woman had just lost her husband and yet had to endure all of this. He decided to offer the poor woman a moment of peace and asked her to dance. She accepted his arm gracefully. Casavir had respect for her. The fair woman had no experience in the affairs of a Jarl, but he had no doubt that she would give her best to face the troubling times ahead in the best interest of her people. And he respected such a good heart more than anything else. He would do his best to help her with this task, even though he was merely a paladin. 

 

Although it was common etiquette to converse for the dance he passed on this, seeing she needed this small moment to herself. The Jarl gave him a thankful smile and although there was still sadness in her eyes there was also hope. Seeing this brightened his evening a lot. He was always glad to bring hope to people. 

After the dance he lead the woman back to her throne and excused himself to mingle once more. 

 

Ruru had only glanced at Ser Casavir discreetly every now and again while he had danced with the Jarl. She had felt a slight sting of jealousy, she admitted it to herself, and it was confusing. Why would she feel like that, when the man himself was completely out of her reach anyway? She was no one, basically invisible to these nobles. Only a servant. 

_ Gods, I'm going insane!  _

She almost hoped that Casavir would look at her, and recognize her... but he didn't. Under all the finery, she looked... and felt... completely different. She shouldn't wish for things that would never happen.  _ Because a paladin was in love with his vows. _

The evening went on painfully long, and once the bell tolled ten in the evening, all the guests slowly made their way outside to watch fireworks that had been arranged for the occasion. However Ruru and the other bards had no right to see something so grant. So instead they were led to the kitchen where they ate some soup, which Ruru refused politely, and after putting their cloaks on and packing their instruments into their cases, they exited the same way as they had come in. 

Ruru's heart felt heavy. And she could not understand why. 


	7. Chapter 7

During the days of practice for Ruru Drea had gone to the market and then she had used some hair from Karnwyr to find Bishop again. It was only another week before the moons would be full again. Bishop had not been sure what to do. He should leave was his first thought. As far away as possible. Away from the vigilants and especially from the paladin. But the thought she might come back to look for him had made him stay in the exact same spot. 

But when she came he was surprised to say the least. 

He was taking a bath in the pond he had chosen as his home for the time when he heard her. He hid in the reed as the steps came closer. Heavy steps, like those of a big nord. He drew his knife which he never lay aside, even when bathing. 

Karnwyr though jumped out of the water and rushed over to the woman, having smelled her. He barked excitedly and demanded pets which Drea gladly gave before looking around. Bishop glared at the woman and the huge backpack on her back. No wonder these steps were so heavy. He waited to see if more people came before revealing himself.

 

Bishop hid the knife behind his back and he glared at the woman. 

"Stop stomping around like a wild boar, little girl. I thought an army of paladins were on their way to arrest me." he mocked with a wolfish grin. "So, what's with the heavy package? Decided to move in with me?"

 

Drea laughed a little bit. “I don’t think the wilds are my kind of home. Perhaps if you had a hut out here. But no, I just thought since you can’t get into the city unseen I got you some things. Mainly food, but also some clothes and this backpack so you can carry more. The one you have looks good, but with this one you could carry more and the things inside will stay dry during rain.”

 

Bishop stared at her in disbelief. This woman was insane. And an idiot. With a deathwish. 

"The moons will be full soon, babyface. If you stay with me, your face won't be so nice to look at if I get my fangs on it. Besides, that's a waste of money. I'll lose them when I become a beast, and who knows where I wake up."

 

“As for the former I can stay awake and shield myself. And in case you decide to run off: if you give me some hair of yours I will find you with my magic. And I can bring the things with me.” she said, looking at him with a smile. 

 

Bishop just turned and returned to the pond. He quickly dressed and then walked over to the fire, where his simple stew was boiling. He had scouted around the forest and found some wild vegetables and herbs... and of course he and Karnwyr had hunted some meat.

 

Drea just followed him. She was not sure if he was going to accept her help. But as long as he did not run her out of his new home she guessed it would be alright. 

“I brought you some bread and cheese, too.” she said, hoping he’d bite.

 

"Quit patronizing me!" Bishop snapped at her, but when he looked at her, there was something in his eyes... something soft and warm, but it could be the light of the fire playing with the color of his eyes.

 

Drea decided to leave him alone for now and play with Karnwyr while she looked around. The spot here was really nice. Although Skyrim’s north was cold it was not so much right now. Summer was just around the corner and the sun hit the small glade with the pond and made it warm here. Bishop had made a sort of den from twigs and leaves under a tree and although the man was a man-wolf the den looked quite nice and comfortable. And clean. It surprised Drea somewhat. He seemed to take care of his hygiene more than she had anticipated. 

 

Once the stew was done, Bishop ransacked his stuff to find a bowl and a spoon. He didn't have one for Drea, but it didn't really concern him one bit. It would be her own fault if she wasn't prepared. He sat down by the fire and ate. Well, the stew was edible, but without proper spices it tasted mild. But as long as he didn't starve, it was alright. He emptied a bowl, then another, and drank some water. Though he would have killed to have a bottle or two of ale.

 

Drea watched him from the side from time to time. Of course she had her own food and drink and she thought he probably did not mind for her to use his fire to make some tea. 

 

For anyone coming across the strange couple by chance it would have been a intriguing picture. Bishop was, as already established, more wolf than man when it came to his manners. He dug into his food with little consideration of the woman or anyone. 

She on the other hand sat inside the forest like a lady. At least compared to him. She sat upright and carefully sipped her tea while taking a small bite from her bread. Her clothes were neatly arranged and in order although she had come through the forest and was slightly sweaty. His clothes were in disarray and quite dirty given how little chance he had to wash them. And when he had he cared little. It was enough for him that they kept him warm. 

In a way it was like a scene from the beauty and the beast, just that there was no castle but a pond and the beast looked like a quite handsome man under the dirty clothes and behind the stew bowl.

 

Bishop cleaned his bowl and spoon in the pond and placed them on the tree stump.After that he just sat down near the fire and worked on a hare skin.

 

Drea played with Karnwyr once she was done eating.  Eventually she decided to take a refreshing bath in the pond. She knew Bishop or Karnwyr would at least warn her if there was danger and even naked she had all her weapons in the palms of her hand. So she stripped down to her underwear and neatly folded her clothes before dipping her toes into the slightly cool water.

 

Bishop resisted the urge to have a peek. He listened to the splashing water, and then he found himself sneaking in the shadows of the undergrowth. He circled around to the pond and took a sneak peek of the woman's graces. Of course the water covered her a bit... but even he could see that she was desirable. 

Then he felt his hardness tighten the trousers he wore. It was terribly uncomfortable. Maybe he should... get a little bit further away and cool off. It sounded like a good idea. 

He silently navigated himself to a place where he could be in peace for the next... few minutes. But before he could lower his pants and give himself relief, a stinging pain pierced his shoulder. Then another hit his leg and the third pierced his hand. He only now realized that he had wandered too far and was near the road. Road, where a group of vigilants stood with their crossbows and silver arrows. 

Bishop only now realized the burning and he groaned from pain. 

"Sedate him and bring him to the jail in Castle Dour. Ser Casavir's orders." one of the vigilants said. 

_ Goddamn it!  _ was the last thing Bishop could think of before the vigilants stepped closer and made him sniff something that burned his nostrils... and then there was darkness.

 

Drea immediately figured something was wrong when Karnwyr’s ears perked up and he stopped wagging his tail and getting water all over her. She looked to where Bishop had been sitting just a moment ago and saw him gone. Karnwyr began to growl dangerously and looked into the forest. She did not bother with clothes, only ran towards the forest with Karnwyr at her heels and then in front of her. She reached the vigilants and saw how they forced Bishop to sniff something before his body went limb. 

“Don’t touch him!” she screamed.

 

The vigilants glanced up at the girl, and one of them pointed his crossbow at her. The vigilant released the arrow right before the group leader could stop him.

"Don't! She's no werewolf!"

"But this man might have spread his curse upon her! Don't you see? She's naked, and she looks like she's just washed herself... from blood no doubt!"

The leader gestured to the others and they lifted Bishop on a horse.

 

“I SAID DON’T TOUCH HIM!” she screamed enraged. Reading all of those terrible things people like them had done to werewolves had shifted her mindset about the vigilants and so her usual wall of friendliness burst and her magic was flowing out and broke free. And this time she had no intention of holding back. She only cared for Bishop and Karnwyr to be safe. 

The magic sprung not from her palms, as it would have from any normal mage, but broke free of her body and with surprising speed she was with them and Bishop, shielding him with her immense power. 

 

The vigilants hurried away from such strong magic, but the leader didn't fear. She was now sure that this woman had been turned, and her magic was too powerful to be left unchecked like this. 

She placed runes around the shield, and with a snap of her fingers made the shield disperse for only a moment. But was enough. Two arrows were shot to incapacitate the woman.

 

If the vigilants had thought that was enough to get the woman down they had been wrong, though. Instead the shield came back, mixed with not only wind but also water and through the veil they could see the woman bending over the man and making him levitate. She walked back from where she had come like this, not attacking them. They followed, not willing to let a dangerous mage escape with a beast they had sworn to hunt. She came to a makeshift camp and began to pack up a few things. From what it looked like the werewolf and the mage had camped there and she began to pack up without looking at them. 

It was confusing to all of them. She had the power to repel any spell or weapon they threw at her, trying to wear the shield down and yet she did not attack back. She even did not seem to be in a hurry as she put the fire out and spread the ashes to wetten them so it could not cause a forest fire. 

Slowly the leader gave sign to stop the attack and just watch her. They could follow her and wait until her magic ran out. And if that did not happen she would eventually fall asleep. Then they could strike without anyone getting harmed. 

 

Drea was displeased to say the least. She put the big backpack she had brought on the shoulders and made Bishop’s things levitate with him. They followed her. Bishop was not moving at all and she had no idea what they had given him. She walked forward with determination, away from the vigilants. She did not tire. Never in her whole life had a point been reached where her magic ran out. 

 

But as she walked and walked her heart filled with doubt. What if Bishop was not going to be alright? What if he had been poisoned? What if he’d die. Tears filled her eyes and she tried to be strong, but eventually she stopped. 

 

The vigilants had kept a close eye on the woman all the way. When she finally stopped, the vigilants surrounded her. 

"If you lower your shield and come quietly with us, both you and your companion will not be harmed, under the orders of Ser Casavir, paladin of the Order of Oak." the leader declared calmly.

 

She remembered the paladin. Although his words were kind she had not trusted him. He wanted to bring Bishop to justice for things he had not done. She turned to the leader of the vigilants and gently pulled something out of her backpack. The vigilants heard her soft voice as she began to read. 

 

_ Subject A _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Captured: in Morrowind, while in beast form _ _   
_ _ Makeup: Male, Breton in his true form _ _   
_ _ Notes: Subject shows an unusually high degree of control over his transformations. _ _   
_ _ Experiment 1 -- Subject's bodily proportions were thoroughly measured before, during, and after the transformation. As expected, the proportions were identical while in true form, but some minor swelling of the head was observed immediately after the return. Changes observed during transformation: _ _   
_ _ 23% increase in shoulder width _ _   
_ _ 17% narrowing of hips _ _   
_ _ 47% lengthening of arms _ _   
_ _ 7% increase in finger length (not accounting for claws) _ _   
_ _ As for the legs -- the lengthening of the foot to several times its normal length seems to account for the otherwise negligible changes in the thigh region. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Experiment 2-- Subject was coerced into changing as rapidly and as frequently as possible, at various times and at various levels of duress. Transformation times and effects were not viewed to change notably. Subject expired, concluding tests. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Subject B _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Captured: in Cyrodiil, already imprisoned by local authorities, in true form _ _   
_ _ Makeup: Female, Nord in her true form _ _   
_ _ Notes: Subject's large size in both true and transformed forms makes an excellent fit for vivisection _ _   
_ _   
_ _ I believe I may have been the first to witness a werewolf transformation ply its effects on the internal workings of a creature. The heart is the first thing to swell, long before the lungs or bones shift to accommodate it. This may account for the intense chest pains that some of the afflicted report directly before their changes. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ More interesting were the changes observed in the muscles of the legs. I had expected a strengthening, as the beasts are known for great power and speed, but they also seemed to change color into a dusky brown. This could also be attributed to blood loss from the procedures. _ _   
_ _   
_ __ Before the subject expired, I worked applying some known "remedies" for the disease directly to internal organs. Wolfsbane petals applied to the bones seemed to render them brittle, and the ribcage nearly collapsed at the touch. The juice of ripened belladonna berries was pressed directly into the veins, and they could be seen to shrivel behind the flow as it moved through the system. Upon reaching the heart, the major vessels pulled away completely, and subject expired within minutes.

 

She continued with subject C and D, then E and so on. She knew any sensible person would see what she was implying. The vigilants became silent as she read from the book she had taken along to help Bishop.

 

The vigilant leader stood firm. "I understand your reasons, but if your companion's wounds are not treated, he risks a silver poisoning, and it's as lethal as any experiment those vigilants did to those people. I implore you once more: Come with us quietly and you will not be harmed. It is under Ser Casavir's jurisdiction in this case."

 

“I have met your Sir Casavir. He seemed to wish to see my friend dead. If your intentions were good you would not have been hindered by my shield. Should you really wish to cure my friend from the wounds  _ you _ dealt to him then come on in and do it. But I warn you. Should you have even the slightest thought of evil in you it will hurt you.”

 

"We have no means to do it in the middle of nowhere", the leader said. "It requires a master healer who is not with us."

 

“THEN TELL ME HOW TO DO IT!” she said so loud it was almost screamed. Now she feared for Bishop’s life. 

 

The vigilants exchanged glances, and the leader approached the shield. She hesitated at first, but eventually braved to move inside... unharmed. "It is not something you are able to do without proper equipment, young miss. If you do not wish him to die, then come with us and allow us to help him. He will not be harmed."

As she spoke, she gestured to the others, who realized that they should go to the city post haste and ready an operating room.

 

Drea was weary of the woman to say the least. She knew her shield worked on thoughts against her and any it protected, in this case her, Bishop and Karnwyr. But she also knew the vigilant could have cleared her mind to step through. But with another look at Bishop who looked worse now she admitted she had no other choice than to go with them. She let her shield flow away and wordlessly she followed the vigilants that had moved back to the city. Bishop was floating by her side and her grim face fell on Karnwyr who nuzzled Bishop’s hand and winced.

 

They were escorted to the temple instead the jail. Bishop was put on a bed and a group of healers started to remove the silver bolts and clean his blood from it. 

To Drea all those hours felt like an eternity had passed by, but eventually she was allowed to see him. However, Bishop was still unconscious, and very pale... like all the color had been drained from his skin. 

"It'll take a while before he regains consciousness. If he regains consciousness. The silver bolts were alarmingly long in his body." the healer next to Drea explained.

 

Drea cried. Once more. She felt guilty. She knew they would have put him in the dungeons and then killed him. But she still felt terrible. She only had wanted to save him. And now he lay there, pale and motionless. It was all her fault. They must have followed her. Probably on order of this fucking paladin. If she’d see him she’d… she’d… she’d do unspeakable things to him. 

Bishop’s hands were so cold. Next to her Karnwyr did just the same and nuzzled Bishop’s hand, wincing and howling. It drove the people around nuts but when they had tried to remove the wolf before he had snapped after them and then the mage had protected him. 

In Drea’s opinion it was their own fault for having to endure the howling. They had attacked Bishop and brought him here. He had kept away from them and done nothing to them.

 

The healer left Drea. It was meaningless to try and remove her from the room. Afterwards another priestess brought some tea and simple food to Drea, and some meat to Karnwyr. She also checked on Bishop's condition. The look on the priestess's face didn't really give away anything. Bishop was still pale, his breathing was shallow and his skin felt so cold.

 

Neither Drea nor Karnwyr touched any of the food they were brought. Karnwyr out of worry for his alpha and best friend, Drea for the additional reason that she distrusted everyone in this temple. She watched the priestess using healing magic on Bishop and noticing it was normal healing she began to do it herself once the woman left again. The night passed and so did the day. Drea did not tire as she used her magic. Eventually though her body could not take it any longer and her head sank onto the man’s arm. She drifted away while Karnwyr kept watch over her and the man by her side.

  
  


Drea woke up in a room she didn't know. It wasn't the room where Bishop was, that was for certain, as she lay comfortably covered on a bunk bed. The next thing she realized was Karnwyr's miserable howling coming from upstairs.

As she got up, ignoring the hunger that rumbled in her stomach, she hurried to the room where Bishop had been held... only to find it empty. Karnwyr's howling came from another room next to this one, as she hurried to see a locked door, with Karnwyr's scratching it vigorously. He was whining and howling out of desperation.

 

She tried the handle once more. Then she casted a spell to open the lock. It worked only on simple locks and so the heavily locked door did not budge. Frustrated she stepped closer and pressed her ear against the door. “Karnwyr.” She called out.

The scratching stopped. Good. He could hear her. She could not burst the door when she might hit the wolf.

“Karnwyr go to Bishop.” she said. “Go to Bishop.” She used a detect life spell to see if he was still sitting in front of the door and repeated the words until the wolf moved further. She could see Bishop’s body in there. Or another person. 

Alright there it goes. She readied a spell to break in.

 

But before she could do it, a hand landed on her shoulder. "Please, refrain damaging the property of this temple, young lady", a strict female voice said to her. "If you need to get inside, ask permission from Ser Casavir."

 

“If you don’t want me to break this door you better get him here to open the door. Or open it yourself. My friends have not done anything to deserve being held hostage like this.”

She knew she was snappy and impolite, but she was angry. How dared they moving her around like a piece of furniture when Bishop’s life was at stake?!

 

"I understand your anger, but this man is a werewolf. It is full moons tonight and we cannot take any risks. Do you understand?"

 

_ Full moons?! _ How long had she been out? Days?! She looked at the door and worry spread over her face. How late was it? She looked at the woman and swallowed. “How… Is… is it night already?”

 

"It is late afternoon. You have been sleeping three days straight." the woman answered. "We will not open this door until dawn, understood? Unless you wish for many people to die."

 

Drea swallowed hard. She wanted to shout she didn’t care, but it was not true. She did care. Not only for Bishop. "But if it’s only afternoon…” she said weakly. “Can’t I at least see him?”

 

"It is not my decision to make. You need to speak with Ser Casavir. I can bring you to him, if you promise to behave yourself", the woman said with a stern frown.

 

Drea nodded silently and turned back to the door the moment the woman left. her hand pressed against the strong door and she focussed on the detect life spell to see Bishop at least through this veil. Karnwyr seemed to sit right next to the man.

 

Then the shape of the man moved slightly and touched the wolf's head.

 

Drea’s heart pounded and she felt a wave of relief spread through her body. He was moving. That meant he was alright. Maybe. 

 

The shape continued to pet the wolf, and the wolf jumped on something... a bed maybe... and lay down right next to the man, who shifted to make some room for them both. The man snuggled right against his friend, and Drea could see his arms wrap around his furry friend.

 

“Bishop?” she called out, hoping the man’s ears were as good as Karnwyr's. It was possible he could not hear her through the strong door.

 

But there was no answer. Drea could vaguely hear Karnwyr's quiet whining, but that was all.

 

She waited. Ser holy paladin sure took his time to get here. Of course she knew she was only angry and he had likely other things to do than watching her or Bishop, but she was furious. And so she did not care all that much for the moment. All she cared about was that the afternoon was waning and that she wanted to see Bishop. She wanted to tell him that she was here for him and that she would get him out. 

 

It was half an hour later when Casavir finally arrived. Drea could see the man had been busy from the dark rings under his eyes. 

"My lady wished to see me", he said politely. "The priestess told me."

 

“Let me in.” she demanded, not bothering to greet him. That bastard could be glad she did not rip him to shreds for sending the vigilants after her to get to Bishop. “I want to see Bishop!”

 

Casavir frowned. "But it's the night of the full moons, and the afternoon is waning. I will not take such risks."

Then, just then, behind the door, Bishop's angry yet powerless voice was heard. "Let her in, you son of a bitch!"

Casavir was startled.  _ I thought the sedative would last overnight. _ He complied by taking out a ring with many keys in it and opened the heavy locks on the door.

"You have an hour. When I next open this door, you will come out, understood?" he said before he opened the door.

There was Bishop, lying on his side, hugging Karnwyr, who was nuzzling his face and whining miserably. However, the room seemed to smell like something strong and stinging... till Drea noticed the open bottle on top of a shelf. Sedatives.

 

Drea threw Casavir a rebellious look before the door opened and she saw Bishop. He looked less pale, but he also looked weak. She took a step into the room and heard the locks being secured. Those bastards. 

She stood there. Knowing it was her fault that Bishop had been caught. That it was her fault he was being drugged like this. And it was her fault he might never get free again. He probably hated her for it. She did not dare to look at him.

 

Bishop registered the sounds of the locks being secured... then he felt  _ her  _ presence in the room. Karnwyr stopped whining and only nuzzled him. Weakly he turned to see Drea standing there with a lost look. Just like... so many times before.  _ Beautiful... _ he thought drowsily.

"So... you... decided to to become my last meal, eh?" he mocked, but his voice was slurred, like he had drunk a barrel of strong ale. "Or... is this a... conjugal visit?" he grinned, seemingly thinking he was being clever.

 

Drea just stood there. She did not know what to say. But at least he did not seem to be angry at her. Tears swelled up her eyes and her emotion flowed over. She sobbed and quickly suppressed it. 

“I’m sorry.” she winced more than she whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

 

Bishop revealed a crooked smile. "Do I look like I'm blaming you?"

It was unclear whether he was saying what he meant or if the sedatives made him speak like that. He sounded almost nice. 

 

Drea forced herself to calm down and wiped her eyes. 

The room was empty except for the simple bed Bishop lay on and the shelf. It was lit by a mage light and there was no window. It was a cage. And he was caught in it. She carefully stepped closer to him. Not because she was afraid of him. She was worried he might not want her close.

 

"Sorry babyface, no more room", Bishop slurred. "You could sit on top of course."

 

She stopped in her tracks and looked at him with those big doe-eyes. 

 

Bishop couldn't resist those eyes, not when his mind was drugged with... gods knew what. "Come here", he invited her as he spread his arms. "Come here, Drea."

 

He was behaving strange. But he wanted her there. And so she first slowly but then almost with a leap made her way over to him and sank into his spread out arms. He smelled strange. Like herbs and medicine and there was only a little wolf-smell left. 

 

Bishop pulled her close, buried his nose into her hair and inhaled her scent.

"You've lost weight", he stated absentmindedly. "You should go eat a proper meal... before I make you my meal."

 

Although it was a joke she could hear something in his voice that conveyed something else. Worry? Fear? Pain? Whatever it was it changed the moment her stomach agreed with the ranger with a loud growl that could have competed with Karnwyr.

She blushed embarrassedly.

 

Bishop just held her as he relaxed on the bed and closed his eyes. Drea soon noticed he was fast asleep... at least for now. Gods only knew what would happen when night set in.

So there she was, being held by his strong arms, while he was sleeping. Eventually the locks were released and the door opened. 

"Time is up", Casavir announced. "Please, come out, my lady. There is dinner in the kitchen, if you wish to eat."

 

Drea knew she had to. She carefully freed herself from Bishop’s strong arms and with a quick look to the door to check no-one was looking she placed a soft kiss on Bishop’s forehead. 

Then she left. But not before giving Karnwyr a short pet. “Take care of him tonight, Karnwyr. Unless you want to come with me and find some food. If they don’t let him out tomorrow we just bust the door.”

 

Karnwyr just nuzzled the woman's hand before placing his head against Bishop's shoulder to let the woman know he'd stay here.

 

Drea smiled. Bishop wouldn't hurt him. They had gone through this together. Every full moons. She felt relief as she thought that. Bishop would not have to be alone. A small smile she stepped out of the room and it vanished as her eyes fell on the paladin. Her eyes became hard.

 

Casavir answered Drea's gaze with a compassionate one. "I understand your anger, my lady. But this is necessary. I will negotiate with the leader of the vigilants. I have also investigated a few rumours of possible ways to help him remain more human during his transformations. Do you not understand, I am trying to help him, just like you."

 

Drea did not buy it. His vigilants had shot Bishop. She doubted he had done anything more than perhaps being rude to them. They had poisoned him. And the  _ holy _ paladin had done this. 

“Don’t you  _ my lady _ me!” she spat. “I would have contained him. There was no need for your violence and the torture you made him go through!”

 

Casavir took in the blaming words without flinching. 

"I wasn't the one responsible for the patrols, my lady. If you think Bishop's treatment was unjustified, take it to the vigilants."

 

“Of course you were not responsible.” she mocked. “And here I thought paladins are not allowed to lie. Those people clearly said they were under your order to catch Bishop and bring him to Solitude. How do you explain that, huh?” Drea did not care that several other people stood around them, no doubt to keep watch in case Bishop tried to break out.

 

"I am not fighting with a child", Casavir said sternly. With that he walked away.

 

Drea was about to burst. How dared this man?! He had lied to her face and then called her a child! 

“You best remember, Ser Casavir, that I am not going to let you hurt anyone. If Bishop dies and I find out you had even the slightest to do with it then your life is forfeit. This is not a threat. It is a promise to put an end to you should you dare to lie again.”

With that she left for the room she had woken up in to search for her backpack. Perhaps there was still some food that had not spoiled yet.

  
  


Casavir massaged his temples. He had not been lying to her, but it was true that he had not told the truth either. And he knew the young woman had every right to be angry. She had not seen the terrible things Bishop had done in the past. And those were only what he knew. It was likely some other people who had been found dead were amongst his victims, too. The young miss had compassion, a virtue he held in high regards, but he had to think of more than just her wish to help the beast. He had to protect all of Solitude. Of course he had not ordered the vigilants, that was something that was not in his power. But it was true that he had worked hard over the years and that he also had made a name for himself through Skyrim. So although he had not ordered the vigilants he knew that his words could likely have been seen as an order by them. He even felt slight guilt for sending someone after the young miss. It was not the proper way to do this and he knew it. But the thought of a werewolf so close to the city and her lack of cooperation in the matter of containing him had left him no choice. 

How could she believe she’d be able to contain him? The vigilant’s descriptions of her magical powers came back to his mind. That it was not only powerful but also that she had kept it up for such a long time. Something even a well-travelled paladin like him had never heard off. And after that the priestess who took care of Bishop after his treatment had informed him the mage had used healing magic on the werewolf, too. 

Perhaps he should be happy about the fact that she had only threatened him and  _ tried _ to burst the door. Were she a woman of violence things would easily have turned into a massacre. 

He only had opened the room for her because he had known about her powers. Whatever she felt for Bishop was strong enough to have stayed by his side and saving him from the vigilants, then healing him and even making her wanting to enter the room on the night of the full Twin Moons. He had realized that she would not have accepted a no. With a detect life spell he had watched what happened inside the room. Bishop had not moved much. He had turned his head and opened his arms to her and she had leapt into the embrace. It was heartbreaking to Casavir who had not thought a man like Bishop was capable of this. He had heard the whole story about Bishop’s journey with the two women again as he went to see the dragonborn to find out if Bishop was saveable and from what she had told him Bishop was cold-hearted, rude and without any manners. And Casavir had to agree. But there was a woman who wanted to save Bishop. Who did not mind his non-existing manners. Who wanted him to be safe. 

With a deep sigh he sat down. There was no cure for this affliction and Bishop had, once he had come to, resisted heavily before the vapor had lulled in his senses. The man would not willingly be contained. So what would happen after this night? The young miss had made clear she wanted Bishop to go free and Casavir knew by now she was not easily convinced to change her mind. 

Whatever would happen he should get some rest for tonight. The guards would make sure Bishop stayed in the room and he was convinced the mage would not be so irresponsible as to attack them or get into the room during the night.

With that thought he closed his eyes and passed out, still in his armour.

  
  


Drea found her backpack. Right next to it was the new one for Bishop and there also was his pack. She opened all of them and skimmed through the things. The spoilable food was gone but there was a note inside each pack that wrote what was missing with the proposal that she could go to the temple’s kitchen and ask for a refund. She would not have been angry if it had only been missing. At least this way their things were not covered in rotten food. But it also meant she had to go there and get some food. She did not want to leave when Bishop was there in that room and would turn. 

Once she had some food, a quite large tablet in fact with tea and sandwiches and hot stew, she returned to the corridor where Bishop was held. The sun had not sunk yet and the guards eyed her wearily. She sat down across the door and ignored their stares. She would stay right here. She knew it was an emotional move. Once Bishop turned he would not recognize her as a friend. To him it would not matter that she was out here, close to him, to be there for him. And she could not do anything for him either. Unless he broke free and that would better not happen. 

She began to eat. Slowly. The tea those people had given her was good. Fennel, if she recalled the flavour correctly. She liked it and the warmth of the cup felt good in her hands. Her thoughts were with Bishop at every moment. She wondered if he had been given food. If the people here had treated him well. She was not sure about it. She could imagine Bishop throwing a tantrum once he had woken up. But he was also a smart man. At least that was what she thought. It was just as possible he had seen he had been caught and had no other choice than to cooperate to not be killed on the spot. 

She ate slowly. What would happen to Bishop once this night was over? The paladin had made it clear it was not his decision. But surely they could not keep Bishop here. They had no right! But if he really had killed people before… perhaps they did. She tried not to let the guards see her pain and swallowed the stew. 

 

It was not much later when Bishop turned. Drea had watched him from time to time with detect life. She had laughed slightly when Karnwyr had peed in a corner of the room. Of course the guards had no idea why she was laughing and threw her confused looks. 

When Bishop turned, though her laugh was forgotten to all of them. The screams from inside the room tore her heart apart. He was in pain and even through the heavy door she could hear his bones crack and snap as he grew larger and larger. His back arched and Karnwyr winced. Drea did not realize she did, too. 

Then the screams stopped and the large body moved. A howl was heard and then she saw how Bishop bent to Karnwyr and the two beasts seemed to greet each other. 

She watched as the werebeast explored the room before it tested the door. With a powerful swipe of its paw. 

A few of the guards flinched, but the door stood firm. 

  
  


The beast woke. It took a little while before it figured it was imprisoned. Something made him drowsy. A heavy scent of something was in the air. But as he greeted his companion he caught another scent. His prey. It had been here. Not long ago. He released a deep howl and told his companion they would hunt. Then he turned to the door and his prank smashed against it. But it would not budge. He growled. Still drowsy he slashed again. And again. Then he stopped and waited. The scent of his prey was there. The prey that had eluded him two times already. He growled and began to search the room, sniffing every corner. The scent was strongest by the bed and on himself. Brave little prey, coming so close.

 

The beast stared at the door, stepped closer to it and sniffed. Her scent was right there, right in front of him, but the door was in the way. He slashed at the door again. Then he rammed against it. Though the small place gave him no room for enough speed, he wanted his prey. He wanted to taste her! To eat her! That delicious little woman.

 

The guards were startled when the large being rammed against the door. They hurriedly checked the door's condition, only to see the door wasn't damaged. The sedative dulled most of the beast's power, but it wasn't absolute. 

"Young miss, you should go downstairs", one of the guards said to Drea. "For your own safety. If you do not comply, we are authorized to use force."

 

Drea just looked at them and picked up a sandwich. “You should have given him some bread before putting him in there. He sounds hungry.”

 

"Because beasts like him hunt, whether or not their human forms are full. Miss, I will not ask nicely again. Please, go downstairs."

The door shook again when the beast rammed to it. Two of the guards hurried,  bringing several steel bars and reinforced the door with them by stacking them on top of each other.

 

The woman just sat there, biting into her sandwich. She chewed and swallowed before speaking again. “If he gets out there you’ll be happy that I’m here. Or do you think you could contain him should he break through  _ that _ door?” And just because she was in a sassy mood she gave them a sweet smile and added: “My compliments to your cook. Those sandwiches are really nice.” She grinned on the inside as the guard closest to her pulled a face as if he was not sure if she was crazy.

 

The guard was not pleased. "Miss, I have the authority to put you under arrest for resisting a direct order of the guard. And we will put you in a cell where your magic will be useless."

 

Drea looked at him directly. “I will not leave. I am not in your way and should you need my help I am willing to lend a hand. I can not see why I would have to leave. I am here because you kidnapped us. It is your own fault that I’m here, so to speak. And As I said: You likely know how to contain a werewolf, so I think your door will hold. If it does not then I can do that. I did it the past full moons.” She spoke calmly and with a serious tone. “I have as much interest to keep him away from people tonight as you. Or any night he is like this.”

 

The guards glanced at each other, silently debating on it. Eventually they decided to let Drea be, and concentrate on keeping the werewolf in check.

 

That night was one of the longest ones for everyone residing in the temple. The howls and growls echoed in the building, and the ramming became more and more violent before the beast calmed down once the sun started to rise.

"Take off the bars", the guard ordered and joined his colleagues to help in the task. The sturdy wood was bent from all the violent ramming, but to everyone's surprise the door had lasted. 

"Call ser Casavir, and a healer in case the prisoner is injured", the guard said and one of them hurried to fulfil the order.

 

Drea squeezed through the men. The room smelled gross as Bishop had relieved himself in a corner, too, and two wolves peeing into a small room… let’s just say it was… an experience. She wrinkled her nose at the smell and walked over to the man who lay on the floor. He was asleep, probably drowsy from the scent of the vapor that now mixed under the smell of urine. She gently let him levitate and got him out of the smelly room. Karnwyr followed at her heel. 

She did not care about Bishop being completely naked, a naked man to her was like a naked woman. It was natural and only was different in certain situations. But she plucked a wide tunic from the pack and dressed him carefully to protect him from the looks of the guards that inspected the door and the woman who seemed to not care at all. 


	8. Chapter 8

Ruru glanced out of the window of her room in the college. The sunrise colored the sky from bright yellow to the dark hues of blue and purple of the lingering night. She hadn't slept all that well. Her dreams had been restless. For multiple reasons. 

One were the nightmares that still haunted her. Secondly there were her dreams of Casavir. 

Casavir.

Paladin.

_ Out of reach. _

She had talked to him about Bishop just two days ago. And during that short time her heart had pounded like a drum, and her thoughts had fluttered like startled birds. She just couldn't look away from him. Not at all. Of course he had been distant, and polite, and it only made her feel even more intrigued. No wonder all the noblewomen were crazy for him! You just wanted more of him after the first dance... or conversation.

Ruru threw her arm up against her forehead. "I'm a fool", she said. "I really am!"

She got up and took a quick bath. She dressed to her traveling gear, taking her daggers along, as well as some supplies in case she needed to stay overnight. She had read about few places nearby, places where possible dragon walls resided. She had also left her notes about werewolves on her table, in case Drea might come and ask for them. Casavir had said she was in the temple with Bishop. It hadn't really surprised her. She just didn't understand Drea's weird.... obsession towards the man, but she also had decided that she wouldn't let it bother her too much. She was trying to help, after all. The Bards' College had a very good library for knowledge.

She exited the college, telling the headmaster where she was going, before heading towards the main gate. It might have been a bit foolish to go alone, but she needed her time to be alone and clear her thoughts - from a certain paladin.

She exited the city, walked fast along the road. Right after Katla's Farm she heard a male voice pleading for help. She stopped and listened. The plead repeated further away. She hesitated, however. It could be a trap, but what if it was an honest person? Maybe she should investigate just in case.

Ruru approached a place down by the side of the main road, hidden from view. There, under the shadow of rocks, a man who had dressed in black and dark red leather armor, cloak with a deep hood, which he kept right over his head to hide his face. He was sitting and leaning against a the stones that formed a wall around him. Even though Ruru tried to keep out of sight, the man noticed her. 

"Please, beautiful lady, help me. There was an attack..." the man coughed.

But Ruru wasn't a fool. The man did act quite convincingly, but there was no blood, and he was obviously just pretending.  _ This is a trap. _

Ruru scanned around her surroundings, tried to listen in if there was anyone else approaching. Maybe the other bandits would attack her the minute she was closer to this... man.

"You don't seem injured", Ruru stated as she returned her gaze to the man. "If you think you can lure me into a trap, you're dead wrong."

Ruru couldn't even blink when the man was already standing right in front of her. He was rubbing his chin and inspecting her from head to toe. 

"Dead? How ironic for you to choose such a word, my little flower", he chuckled, seemingly amused. "Not many are as wise and careful as you, my lady. Oh, not at all. You are the first to avoid my little scheme."

Ruru backed away a step and her hand grabbed the handle of one of her daggers.

Then she felt his eyes drill right into hers. 

" _ Please, there's no need for violence" _ the words had a certain pressure on them and Ruru found herself letting go of the handle. "I am not going to hurt you." the man finished in a kind, almost compassionate tone. "I apologize for tricking you."

Ruru frowned. "Why do so in the first place?"

The man seemed to consider his words carefully before he answered. "Because it's the only way I can survive, my little flower. Do not think too badly of me."

"Just like any thief. I should bring you to justice", Ruru said sternly. 

The man's eyes seemed to become sad and lost. Then he was right in front of her, staring deep into her eyes. Ruru's mind went blank... and when she next came to, she was staring at the ceiling of a room at an inn.

  
  


Casavir arrived at the corridor not long after the door was opened. Drea just finished putting the tunic over the still sleeping Bishop. He smelled and Drea considered asking for a bath for the man.

 

The paladin glanced at the door. It had held, but only barely. And Bishop was put under sedatives, and still he was able to muster so much strength. It worried him. He was becoming far too dangerous.... And smelly.

"I think we all agree that he is in need of a bath."

 

Drea followed Ser Casavir with the levitating Bishop and their things. He lead her to a bathroom in the back of the temple. It seemed to be the general bath of the temple, a large basin filled with water at all times. She looked at Bishop and just as she wanted to place him down he woke up.

 

Bishop's eyes shot wide open and he quickly glanced around before he tried to stand up... but then realized he was floating in midair. The awestruck amazement was apparent on his face. He saw Drea... and Casavir... and his eyes grew dark. 

"You... you fucking paladin!" he spat, the utter disdain was oozing from each word. "And you!" he glared at Drea. "You let  _ them  _ follow you! You fucking little bitch!"

 

Drea froze. His words hit her like a hammer. As her magic stopped from that the man dropped on the floor and Drea’s eyes filled with tears.

Casavir on the other hand frowned. How dared this ungrateful man to attack her like this? She had worried for him and protected him and he insulted her. But before he could speak up Drea whispered “I’m sorry.”

 

Bishop groaned as he hit the floor, but he didn't stay there for long. He stood up, glaring at them both as deadly as he was able. "Sorry?! You're sorry?! Go to oblivion! Both of you!"

He turned on his heels and hurried to get out of this jail. He was fed up with her, and the paladin... and the city all together. And he had thought that Drea was different but apparently the only person he could trust was his wolf. He whistled for Karnwyr, and the wolf gladly followed. Gods, they both smelled, but he had smelled worse. He just needed a bath.

 

But Bishop did not get far. The man was a werewolf after all and so the guards had followed and closed the doors to the bathroom shut. With even more frustration drawing over his face Bishop shook the handle. 

“You will not leave, Bishop.” Casavir stated. “You are a danger to the public and I cannot allow you to roam freely. Aside from that you should not blame the young miss. She had no knowledge that I sent someone after her. Even when you had been put down already she tried to protect you from the vigilants and carried you away from them.”

 

With his back to them Bishop stood and although he felt flaring anger he also felt something else. Something he could not quite place. He tried to order his thoughts and find a way out of here. He had woken up floating. And with the soft tunic on. The one she had made for him. Someone had put it on him somehow. Had shielded him from being naked. And this was a public bath. Or maybe it was the temple’s bath. Perhaps if he played along and washed himself they would open the door again and he could escape. Play along until they made a mistake. 

He growled and turned around, throwing her his most angry look before stomping to the pool and getting into the water. It was warm. Trying to ignore the comfortable sensation it gave him, he began to yank on the tunic, trying to get it off. It was slightly too small and he could hear a sharp  _ rrritsch _ as a part of it tore. Something inside his chest did the same. ‘It’s a gift.’ he heard her say in his mind. No-one had ever given him anything for free. He hadn’t told her but he had treasured the tunic. Had treated it special and with more care than any tunic he had before. And now he had ripped it. Because he was angry. 

For a moment he stared at the tunic in his hands and the rip in it. To say he felt sorry about it would have been an understatement. It felt like… like the worst thing he had ever felt. Worse than being hungry or cold or so wounded that he had thought he’d die. It was his. Something that he had been given to be his and his alone. 

He could hear something behind himself and without realizing it he pushed the tunic onto his lap and hid it under his hands as he turned around and threw whoever dared to get closer a threatening look. It was Drea. She was not stopped by his anger and instead crouched near the side of the pool to look at the tunic. He again without realizing it hid it on the other side of his body, hoping she had not heard the ripping of the cloth. But she had.

“If I fix it for you will you forgive me?” 

Now, normally Bishop would have snapped at anyone implying he needed help, something fixed or, gods beware, that he cared for this dirty and ripped rag. But somewhere deep inside he felt he did not want to. And so he watched in wonder as his hands carefully moved the ripped tunic towards her, not realizing he had an adorable pout on his face. 

“Or I could make you a new one. One that fits. You’d only have to let me measure you.” she said carefully. 

“No!” he snapped at her rudely and tried to get his treasure back, ripping on it hardly and another, way louder  _ rrrratsch _ was heard. Both of them stopped moving.

 

Then Casavir chimed in. 

“My lady, you should wait outside. Bishop is a man and it would be inappropriate for you to see him bathe.”

 

Drea looked at the paladin and pulled a face. “And why should I be bothered by it? This is not the first time I see Bishop naked. He’s got nothing other man don’t have. And I need a bath, too.”

With that she pulled her clothes off her body and - completely naked - joined Bishop in the pool. While Casavir stared at her naked back, unsure if he should ridicule her again or better turn away as she was naked, Bishop looked at his tunic that now had two rips. A smaller one and a long one that went along the side. And he knew he could not blame her. She had offered to fix it. He didn’t want a new one. Only this one. 

He looked over to her and considered his options. He could ask her to fix it. But that would show her he cared about the tunic. It would provide a point for her to hurt him. 

 

Bishop washed himself slowly. He could see her doing the same and wondered why she was not afraid of him. Even when he was human people kept avoiding him or, if they didn’t, he only had to threaten them. But she was still here. And he had the feeling it was not because of the closed doors. She had come to him. And if the paladin told the truth she had not known she had been followed. It was still stupid of her not to check, but then again she had not been hunted before. And she had brought those things. The huge pack. Had she wanted to bring the vigilants to him she’d hardly carried all those things around. For him. And then there were those memories. Her pale face over him, worry and the warm sensation of healing magic. And when he had woken up and the paladin and his henchmen had taken him away she had lain there, her body bend over the bed he had been lying on. If she was like everyone else why would she do this? He watched as she stepped out of the water and the paladin gave her a towel while he tried not to look at her. Perhaps he should forgive her. If she fixed the tunic. 

  
  


Casavir watched the scene with a frown. A good woman should not openly display herself like this. She should care about being naked. And especially she should not let a man like Bishop see her like this. Who knew what he would do to her if Casavir was not here. He disapproved, to say the least. 

 

Once Drea was clean she got dressed and dug out a new tunic from the big backpack. She had made it for Bishop, but now she was unsure if he would take it. Carefully she pushed it and some clean underwear and trousers towards Bishop who dried himself with a towel, the ripped tunic still close to himself. Did he care about it? 

Bishop glanced at the clothes and after a short internal debate he decided to wear them. He could not run around naked, after all. When he saw his hunting knife amongst the packs he reached for it and quickly armed himself before the paladin could get in the way. Then he took his pack and after a short moment of hesitation the big backpack. From the corner of his eyes he could see a soft smile drawing over her face. 

  
  


They left the bathroom and Casavir lead them to a room with a large table and  _ informed _ them they had to wait for the leader of the vigilants to decide what was to happen. Bishop was about to start a fight when Drea spoke up. 

“You have no right to tell us what to do or where to go. I understand you want to protect everyone, but  _ I _ can protect them from his beast.  _ You _ can just get lost. Unless you know of a cure.”

 

Casavir frowned ever so slightly before his face became neutral. "There's no known cure. Other than driving a silver blade through his heart."

"Fuck off, paladin!" Bishop growled angrily. "Or I'll make sure to rip your face off the next full moon."

Casavir sighed. "Let me go see if the vigilant leader allows you to leave. I'll explain the situation to them. Wait here till I come back."

Once the paladin closed the door behind him, Bishop waited till he could no longer hear the paladin's steps. He leapt to the door and tried the handle. The door was unlocked. Without hesitation the man opened the door and glanced around to make sure the coast was clear. He needed to get out.  _ NOW!  _

 

Drea was right behind him, just like Karnwyr. She followed Bishop and since the people just came to the temple for the morning mass they got out unseen.

 

Bishop hurried towards the gate. He didn't really care about much else.  _ Out of city! Out of the hold. Out the province! _ Then he remembered Drea and he glanced over his shoulder, seeing the woman following him with a half run.

"Don't follow!" he said with an angry frown. He said it... because he didn't want to be the one killing her. He had the vague idea that the beast wanted her. Even if she was able to handle the monster, there was never a guarantee that it would  _ always  _ work.

 

Drea stopped and looked at him. So did Karnwyr, who was not sure who Bishop was talking to. Why would he want Karnwyr to stay behind? The wolf and the girl had the same big eyes, looking at Bishop with a please-take-me-with-you look.

 

Bishop groaned from frustration and anger. He was just... so fucking pissed off. He rubbed his forehead with his hand, closed his eyes and the frown he had got deeper and angrier by the minute. Eventually the ranger just turned on his heels and marched forward, gesturing his wolf to follow, which the faithful companion did.

When Bishop realized the woman wasn't following, he said loudly: "If you can't keep up, I'll leave you behind!" his tone was rueful, rude and annoyed, but even so Drea could read a small plea in it.

 

Ruru was sitting in the room of the inn she had woken up not too long ago. She desperately tried to recollect the vague memories she had. She remembered leaving the city, to explore few places nearby for dragon walls. She remembered meeting someone. 

She concentrated on that moment. A man with a deep hood. Then nothing. Then a flash of someone carrying her. She caught a glimpse of bright red hair and pale skin... and concerned frown. She concentrated on that image for a moment, but it was as fleeting as a hazy daydream.

She recalled the stories she had read about the victims of vampires, and powerful mages that were able to erase memories of their victims with a simple spell. But if the man was a vampire...  _ Am I enthralled?  _ She recalled that memory loss was part of it. And having such a huge hole in her memory really worried her.

She was startled by a knock on the door.

"Miss?" the innkeeper called. "Are you awake? Breakfast is served."

Ruru stood up and noticed her things were all there in the room. Nothing was missing from the backpack as she quickly checked it. Not even her coin purse.

The bard took her things and opened the door, meeting the innkeeper's concerned look. 

"How did I get here?" she asked.

"A young man brought you here. You were unconscious, and looking quite exhausted. He reserved a room for you, and paid for a meal for you, too."

"I need to go to the temple. I'm sorry, I have to skip the breakfast."

The innkeeper nodded, and Ruru hurried downstairs and outside. On her way out, she noticed Bishop, his wolf.... and of course Drea hurrying towards the gates. Ruru chuckled on the inside. Drea looked like a lost puppy when she followed Bishop so fervently. 

 

Ruru pondered for a moment if she should call out to her friend but the moment she opened her mouth a booming voice erupted in the crowd. “Hold him!” 

Of course it was Casavir who had hurriedly followed the escapists once he saw them passing him in the temple. Ruru was surprised that he could run so fast in his full plate armor. 

 

Bishop turned around, and as guards approached to catch him, he started to resist their capture attempt. "You will not put me in a cell, you fuckers! Get off me! I said GET OFF!"

Ruru saw a guard being tossed high in the air and the poor man landed on his back. Another was rammed into the side of the wall and the third faced a nasty right straight right into his gut. It took five other guards before Bishop was completely contained. The ranger's eyes flared from wild, utter despise as he stared at the paladin in front of him.

"You little piece of shit! Release me, or I'll come back the next full moon and rip you apart!"

Ruru hurried towards the scene.

 

Drea was with Bishop in a moment. But instead of using her magic to secure an escape she shielded the man with her body. Which looked ridiculous given that Bishop was a well-grown man and Drea was small even for the average woman. Karnwyr growled at the guards that dared come closer.

 

Ruru walked up to Casavir, who was contemplating what to do to these two. The bard saw how Drea desperately tried to protect the man... and it was obvious, even to someone like her who had never really been in love, that Drea had feelings for him.

"Wait! Please, wait", Ruru said as she walked into view. 

Bishop's angry eyes darted to glare at her. 

"Perfect! The little wench comes again! What's it this time? 'Chop off his head?'" the ranger snarled.

Ruru ignored him as she walked to Casavir. "I have... I may have found a solution, but I don't know if it's agreed upon."

 

Casavir looked at the woman with curiosity. “Mylady, this is a matter of security. But if you know of a way then I would approve to hear it at least.”

 

Ruru's heart jumped when the paladin was speaking to her. Before she could realize it, she blushed, veered her stare and then collected her courage to face the paladin's steel-blue gaze again.

"I have been studying lycantrophy, because I wish to help Drea... and Bishop, as surprising as it may sound to him. I found a small story from the early Third Era stating that if a powerful vampire turns someone with lycantrophy, the beast blood is washed away, at the cost of becoming a vampire. I know, it's no different, but it's a step towards a better direction. Vampires, at least some of them, can keep their humanity intact."

 

Everyone, including the guards around and some curious bystanders stared at Ruru. How would exchanging one curse for another help in any way? 

“I was wondering why you are such an idiot.” Bishop stated with anger in his voice. “But now I get it. You are insane! A madwoman!” He looked to Casavir. “If you think I’ll let you turn me into a vampire I’ll-”

“I will do no such thing!” Casavir said. He looked at Ruru with a stern face. “Such a suggestion is hardly helping, although you clearly have thought about it. But, Miss Rudia, a vampire is a monster on any night - and day - of the year. Not only on one night. I think this would make the problem even worse.” He paused. “As much as I agree with the fact that vampires do at least recall their actions and can influence them, turning Bishop into one would only cause more misfortune.”

Bishop almost growled. At least the paladin was not such a moron as the bard. But he despised the fact that he and the paladin agreed on something. 

 

"At least there's a cure for vampirism. There are plenty of legends! And every legend has a grain of truth", Ruru said, hiding the hurt that the ranger's mocking caused. 

 

“Perhaps we should not discuss this out here.” Drea offered. Then she looked at Bishop. “Do you trust me?” Her eyes looked into his and she gave her best to show him she would get him out of here.

 

Bishop bared his teeth and his eyes flared. A wolf-like snarl escaped from deep within his chest. "Just fuck off! All of you!"

But that was the last thing he could say. The guard behind him knocked him out with a hit.

"Was that necessary?!" Ruru exclaimed.

 

Drea  _ rewarded _ the guard with a jet of water from her palm before she picked Bishop up and held him gently. Stupid people. How could they not see that all their force and hurting Bishop would make him even more distrustful? She let Bishop float and looked at Casavir. "I will hand Bishop over under only one condition. You will let him go free after whatever questioning you planned for him. I will not allow you to torture him and I will not allow you to imprison him on any night or day that is not the full moons.”

  
  


Casavir had brought them to a negotiation room in the Castle Dour. Bishop was resting on a sofa that was placed near the fireplace. Karnwyr was with him, guarding his friend by constantly keeping an eye on everyone. He allowed Drea to come close, but anyone else approaching got a growl and bared teeth.

 

Casavir knew this conversation would be long. The young woman who cared so much for Bishop was stubborn. Normally he would have make her see reason and if he would have to use slight force. Nothing brutal, of course, but showing her the well-defended fort and the even better-armed guards should have put her mind to the right conclusion. But this woman was not like any other stubborn person. She was a mage who was powerful enough to keep a werewolf in check all night long and what’s more: A well-educated and trained group of vigilants. He had done some questioning over the past days and with the additional information Miss Rudia had given him the young woman also had fought the dragons quite rigorously. Knowing that he decided to approach the situation differently. He was in a high enough position to let Bishop go free under certain restrictions. And given her bond to the unconscious man it was possible Bishop would trust her one day. 

“Miss Rudia?” he asked with a polite tone. “There is something I would like to ask.”

 

Ruru's heart leapt into faster pace as the handsome young paladin spoke to her. "Yes, my lord?" she said politely, thanking the gods that Bishop was unconscious or else he'd shout insults at her.

 

“Please leave the title.” he said with a smile, “I was wondering… You have travelled with Bishop and Miss Andrea before, so would you think it possible to take them along once more, along with me and any templar willing?” Casavir knew his proposal was quite demanding. The good woman would endanger herself, but if he was there the order would agree to let Bishop go and he would get the chance to help her with her own task. Perhaps, deep down, he knew it was a selfish request. He had wanted to help her ever since the first rumours had come up that a dragonborn had come. Ever since his early childhood he had loved the stories of the brave people who fought in the dragon war.

 

Ruru blushed slightly. "Forgive me", she muttered, before she was able to speak louder. "I... I am in need of any help I can get. I cannot fight dragons by myself... or save the world for that matter." She left out the part where she had been considering of just leaving the world to its fate. She was just a woman, a bard. Someone who knew stories and songs by heart, but also someone who barely knew how to fight.

 

Casavir smiled at her. “It would be my honour if you would allow us to travel with you, my lady. If I come along then your friend might be able to bring Bishop out of this town. But.” he looked at Drea sternly. “I can not allow you to leave the group, especially not Bishop. If you chose to let him free then you will have to stand in for this. You will have to stay with him and us at all times.”

Drea looked at him with just as serious a face and nodded.

 

Ruru then remembered her encounter with the mysterious man, and spoke up. "Ser Casavir, I must ask something in return. Are you able to see if a person is enthralled?"

Ruru had always hated her directness, but this was a serious matter. If she really had come across a vampire... or whoever that man was... she had to know. Losing memory like that was not normal under any circumstances. "This may need an explanation. I planned on going to see a few places with Dragon Walls, when I came across this man..."

She told them the story, or what she was able to remember at least.

 

Casavir listened to her with growing concern. “This does indeed sound like a vampire." He stood up and from his pack her got a bottle with a potion. It was labelled  _ CURE _ . “Please drink this, my lady. A bite from a vampire can turn you into one. And not only the bite, for that matter. Let us be on the safe side.”

He waited for Ruru to drink and watched her closely.

 

Ruru took the bottle and uncorked it. She grimaced at the smell of the liquid, but she quickly drank the whole thing. There was a slight burning sensation in her chest, but nothing else seemed wrong.

 

Casavir smiled to her and offered her some water to get rid of the taste. “Will you give me your hand, please? I will check now if your mind has signs of enthrallment.”

 

Ruru's cheeks were flaring, even though she didn't want them to. Her heart was pounding and her thoughts chaotic as she sheepishly extended her arm and placed her palm on Casavir's. 

_ It's so warm.  _ she thought and revealed a lovely smile that she was clearly unable to hide.  _ I envy all those lucky women who have had the honor of holding it while dancing. _

 

Casavir smiled back at her. He felt admiration for the woman who told him she might be under a spell and serve a vampire. He knew for a fact that many people would deny it, out of fear to be locked up. But she openly spoke up and so he could help. He reached out and searched her mind for any traces of a touch. Of course he could not read her thoughts, only vague emotions. She was clearly nervous, which was not surprising. After a while he pulled back, having found only a slight trace. That was the one the vampire used to make her sleep. Everything was alright.

 

Ruru waited for the paladin to tell her the sentence. She would not be stupid and run if she was enthralled. She would allow them to do whatever it would take to keep her from becoming a servant to a bloodsucker. Of course she feared. It was her life she was entrusting into this man's hands. As soon as Casavir retreated, she looked at him into the eyes to see the truth.

 

Casavir’s eyes looked into hers and for a moment she could see nothing else. Casavir caught her as her knees gave in, completely oblivious to the fact that it was him, and not her fear, that had make the knees so wobbly. 

“Careful, my lady.” He sat her down on the chair. “Everything is alright.”

 

Ruru held her head against her hand to clear her thoughts. She shook her head to clear her mind and then she glanced at Casavir who was so close now... worried for her. For a moment she scolded herself.  _ Why are you being such a stupid little girl with idol mania?!  _ The next moment she revealed a sheepish and grateful smile. "Thank you, Ser Casavir."

 

“It is I who should thank you for your trust. Not many would tell of this and even less would so after all that happened with your friend. It must be difficult for you to go through all of this without someone to rely on.” He paused for a moment and looked at her. “I think I shall make some tea for you. And perhaps your friend, too. She seems to have calmed down now.” Ruru heard a slight chuckle in his words before the man left her side to heat up some water by the fireplace. 

Drea just sat by Bishop’s side at the other end of the room, not hearing them. She was concentrating on Bishop. Having found a few scars on his body she inspected them, pondering whether she should heal them. Only when Casavir handed her a cup of tea she looked up for a moment.

 

Casavir returned to Ruru with two other cups. “Careful, it is hot.” Ruru noticed some small wrinkles as he smiled at her. 

 

Ruru took the cup into her hands and softly blew at the drink before sipping some. "Mmm... rose tea. My favourite." she stated, and a very nostalgic smile lit up her face. 

Back home in High Rock her mother would always buy her some rose tea during summer. She remembered the neighbour with a vast garden, and the red blooming roses they had.

 

Casavir looked at her with slight surprise. Could she know that it was his favourite, too? It was unlikely, but a smile drew over his face. “What a coincidence. Mine, too.”

 

Ruru's cheeks flared once more and she glanced at the paladin in slight surprise. Million thoughts fluttered in her head, and as she was trying to grasp one, it flew away, right out of her reach. Her heart pounded fast, and the words she had on the tip of her tongue just couldn't find a voice. So, instead she carefully sipped some more tea, letting its softness caress her mouth and wash away her surprise and break the awestruck stare.  _ He likes rose tea? What next? Will I hear that he loves music just as much as I do? Or that he loves horses, and other animals just like I? Or... or... or all the books he could read? Or silent walks in the forest, or gardens or.... Oh my gods, be still my heart! Stop, my thoughts! Don't become one of those drooling noblewomen who would love to have a man like him!  _ She had to remind herself of one little thing.  _ Out of reach! _

 

Casavir noticed her nervousness and he realized she found him attractive. But for once he did not mind it. She was a good woman and to his surprise he realized that the flusteredness made her even more admirable. To break the silence he gave her another smile and began talking about possibly travelling together. A lot of things had to be taken in account and he knew her inexperience regarding fighting could lead to great many troubles. 

“I would suggest lessons with a weapon of your choice and the crossbow as well as advancing your magical talents. It may not be much now, but if you train hard you might be able to heal wounds or shield yourself, my lady. If you so wish I could teach you a thing or two on our way.”

 

Ruru glanced at the paladin and placed the cup down. "I would greatly appreciate it, Ser Casavir. I only got few lessons, as I wanted to learn how to defend myself in a pinch, but I know my skills aren't adequate enough. I may have a fool's luck on my side, since I'm still alive."

 

Casavir laughed. “A little luck can never be wrong, may you know how to fight, or not. Is there a weapon you would prefer?”

 

Ruru presented her double daggers. "I have these." She felt slightly embarrassed. Daggers were for assassins and thieves, not ladies like herself.

 

“Daggers. They are a good weapon for a woman.” Casavir said warmly. “Light and easy to handle. But I am afraid they will not be enough to get through a dragon’s scales. May I suggest a one-handed sword to train? Or perhaps, if they are not too heavy for you, throwing axes.” He inspected her figure and thought for a moment. “How well do you fight with those daggers? Would you mind having a short training session with me later, when the other matters are cleared out?”

 

Ruru's heart was about to leap out of her chest as the man said that.  _ As good as a date!  _ her brain shouted. 

The young woman held a determined gaze. "Yes. If you don't mind my clumsiness."

 

Casavir smiled warmly. “Do not worry, my lady. I will go easy on you and show you everything you need to know.”

 

Ruru's heart was soaring now. Somewhere, deep down in her mind, she sort of understood Drea... why she was so fixated to Bishop. Because Ruru, too, could easily fall for someone like Casavir. He was the perfect gentleman - considerate, polite, helpful and kind. He was stern, and there was something very wise about him, too. Someone to look up to when you needed guidance. As Ruru found more and more good things in this man, her feelings became frantic. She had mostly been so practical about men. She had kept her distance, even when she was approached, and told them to leave her alone. Not in those words, of course, she was polite when it came to that sort of thing. She just didn't care. But now... She just couldn't help but feel a little... infatuated. Intrigued.

_ I'm becoming one of those desperate noble ladies who have a crush on him! I'll be so lynched if anyone sees me with him. _

  
  


The morning passed with long discussions once the leader of the vigilants came. Ruru did her best to support Casavir in his idea to travel together and as such keeping an eye on Bishop. Drea seemed to be calmer now and although she passionately defended Bishop’s freedom she also saw reason. Now everyone hoped Bishop would, too. 

He was still out when the vigilant had left and Casavir, Ruru and Drea discussed preparations for the journey. Ruru showed them some of the word walls she had read about on the map. One was only a day’s travel, perhaps two, away, near an old temple of Meridia. Casavir dutifully took notes on needed equipment and provisions while he left the planning of the route to Ruru.

 

It was late when Bishop finally opened his eyes... and grimaced from pain the reality hit him with at the back of his head.  _ Worse than a hangover!  _

He felt Karnwyr's gentle nuzzles... and then Drea's hand touched his forehead. He slapped it away.

 

“You are awake.” Drea said. Bishop could hear something in her voice. Something behind the words, but he could not quite figure out what it was. He sat up and looked around. 

 

But the throbbing in his skull got worse as he did. A quick glance told him he was in a large room, somewhere... maybe the castle? He wouldn't know. 

"Yeah, though now I wish I wasn't", he groaned.

Ruru stood up and brought a cup of herbal mixture. She glanced at Karnwyr who was bristling his fur as she approached. "It's for the headache."

 

“Like I’m going to drink anything you serve me, you bitch!” Bishop spit at her. “Who knows what kind of poison is in there.”

“I made it.” Drea said with a sad tone. It was a lie, but she knew that Bishop trusted no-one. Especially not Ruru or Casavir. And Karnwyr could hardly have made the tea.

 

Ruru revealed a slight smile to counterattack the knife that Bishop's insult drove inside her, and she sipped some of the tincture. "See? No poison." She wiped the cup with a clean cloth. 

Bishop was still frowning, from suspicion and pain.

 

Drea poured some new and held it out to Bishop. She knew it was not poisoned. She had watched as Ruru made it and also there was no need for her to poison Bishop. 

She sat down next to Bishop and looked at him. “Casavir said you can leave if you stay with us and let me contain you during full moons.” She was not sure how he would take that. 

 

Bishop's fierce, piercing eyes glared at Drea now. "That  _ paladin  _ dares to put  _ me  _ in chains?! Fuck him in the ass with a mace!"

As he cursed he flinched and held his head that was throbbing even more. 

"You really should drink that medicine." Ruru said in a kind and calm tone. "Will you let Drea's effort go to waste?" She played along with the lie, just to make Bishop believe them.

 

Drea made sure to  give Bishop her best doe eyes.

 

Bishop scoffed annoyedly and took the cup. He slowly drank the liquid, grimacing at the taste. "I would have preferred ale."

 

Drea was surprised at his cockyness. Did he feel so cornered that he would make demands to show how strong and in control he was? 

 

Casavir spoke up. “You heard the young lady. It is the only offer I have for you so you either take it or leave it. If you choose to decline you will remain locked up for the safety of everyone else.”

 

Bishop gave the deadliest glare he was able to muster at the paladin. "So it's either ball and chain or a lifetime sentence. Greaaaat!" he mocked in a sarcastic tone. "What's next? Will you tell me not to have sex and drink till I drop?"

 

“Bishop!” Casavir bellowed. “I ask you to restrain yourself in the presence of these ladies!”

 

But the ranger didn't heed the paladin's plea. He didn't care to. As the splitting headache was slowly subsiding, he decided to get up. Once he was standing on his feet, he walked towards the door.

 

Casavir stepped in his way. “It was not a request, Bishop. You will not leave this room before you’ve made a decision. The guards outside are informed that you will not leave if not in my presence.”

 

Bishop turned on his heel. "Like hell I'll ever travel with you, paladin!"

 

“Then it is settled.” Casavir called for the guards outside. 

 

“No!” Drea demanded. “You promised he can go free! You promised if I let you question him he can leave!”

 

"Bishop, please be reasonable", Ruru pleaded. "Which is worse? To travel with Casavir, or stare at stonewalls for the rest of your life? And what about Karnwyr? Will you take away his freedom as well?"

Bishop growled angrily as he turned to glare at Ruru. "This is all because of  _ you,  _ you fucking little bitch!" he pointed a finger at her. "If you hadn't gone to the vigilants in the first place, I wouldn't have to make this stupid choice!"

Ruru flinched and took a step back. Bishop's glare was so intense it intimidated her.

Karnwyr stepped to his alpha and whined miserably as he nuzzled Bishop's hand before looking at him with very sad and pleading eyes.

 

Bishop stared back but after a moment he began to calm just slightly. As much as he hated to admit it, he was caught. And if he wanted to get out of this he had to cooperate. At least until they would not watch him and he could get away. Far enough for them to not follow. He would have to plan this carefully. 

“Fine.” he finally said. “But don’t try to order me around. I’m my own man, got it?”

 

"No one will order you around, Bishop", Ruru informed.

 

Bishop chose to ignore her. He glanced at Drea. She would come with them, right? So at least he wouldn’t be alone with the murderous paladin and the traitorous bitch. Who knew… perhaps he’d get that tunic fixed by her…


	9. Chapter 9

Ruru woke up the next day in her room in the Bards' College. The early summer day looked bright and lovely as she glanced out of the window and a wide smile spread across her face. All night long she had dreamed of Casavir. And she tried to hold onto them before they slipped from her mind. If she could, she could write a song about them... about  _ him. _

She took a quick bath before dressing up for the day. If anything, she would meet Casavir at the training grounds in the afternoon. Her heart pounded as she thought of it. But before that, she decided to read in the library. There were few tomes left for her to read about lycantrophy. She was still trying to find a solution to it. Something that could make Bishop's beast more manageable. Because if they were attacked while he was a beast... 

After breakfast she went to the library and sat down to read and take notes. She felt still stupid about suggesting the vampire bite. At least there were rumours of a cure for that, but for lycantrophy... brutal death seemed like the only option. There was also the fact that werewolves were born from Hircine, the daedric prince of hunt. Sadly in the college library there were only few books regarding the daedra, and during lessons they were only shortly mentioned.

 

While Ruru spent her morning with books Drea spent it with Bishop and Karnwyr. After Bishop had growled and complained all early morning he was allowed out in a closed-off yard of the fort, followed by Casavir and Drea. 

He hated it. Being imprisoned like this, having to stay when he wanted to leave, it brought back memories he had long buried. Only Karnwyr understood his blight and so they tried to get into the furthest corner of the small garden while Casavir held Drea back. Which made Bishop even angrier. He would have let her hide with them. But now she sat on a bench next to the paladin and like oblivion Bishop would go over to them. He watched from afar as she fixed the tunic, though. The one she had made for him. In the morning she had told him if he wanted her to fix it then he only had to give it to her and after a short hesitation he had. 

She was skilled with the needle, he realized as he watched her. As he stretched his hearing he could catch some of what was said and apparently it was about the bard. That stupid wench. He hated her. But Drea… Drea he liked. He had thought about her all night. She had saved him. Just like that. Gotten into trouble for him. Like he would for Karnwyr. 

 

The conversation dragged on. Drea tried not to be judgmental and give the paladin a second chance. At least he had given Bishop a partly freedom. She kept her eyes on the tunic as she asked: “So you want to help Ruru with all this dragonborn stuff.”

 

"Yes, I do", the paladin admitted.

 

“Why?”

 

"Because she cannot do it alone", Casavir said sagely.

 

Drea paused for a moment. “I guess.” she said eventually, “But don’t you have other things to do, too?”

 

"It is true I am rather busy, but I haven't been on the road for some time, and I think it'll do me good to travel again."

 

Drea imagined the paladin on the road. “Did you like travelling? Would you tell me how you met Bishop?”

 

Casavir thought about it for a moment. "I enjoy seeing the vast, beautiful world that is Tamriel. As for Bishop. The first time I saw him was at the farm which had become a slaughterhouse. The next time I saw him was in the outskirts of Bravil. I was ordered to investigate a possible werewolf threat, and the coincidence of meeting Bishop then... Well, that moment drove us both into opposite sides."

 

“When was that?” she asked curiously. “It must have been a long time ago.”

 

Casavir thought for a moment. "It was.... five years ago I think. I lost Bishop in the forest, and gave up the chase. Had I known earlier he came to Skyrim...."

 

“What would you have done? Hurt him more?” There was slight accusation in her voice. “You know, I think given his behaviour he had been a werewolf from an early age. I bet no-one ever was nice to him. That’s why I won’t give up on him. He deserves to be happy, like everyone else.”

 

Casavir agreed a little bit. But he also would not let his heart decide if Bishop deserved this happiness. Compassion should not only go in one direction and he had to protect the people of Tamriel just as much as Bishop. He decided to lead the conversation back to Miss Rudia. The young woman intrigued him and not only for her destiny as the dragonborn. 

 

Later Ruru showed up herself. They all went to the training yard and Casavir began instructing Ruru. Drea watched as her friend did her best to impress ser Casavir. Or rather… not to fail terribly. Bishop grinned and mocked Ruru every time she got something wrong, much to Casavir’s disapproval.

 

Ruru ignored most of Bishop's insults. Most of them. To her surprise, Casavir truly was a good teacher. Patient, stern but kind and he immediately corrected her if she did something wrong. After about an hour of training and testing her abilities, Casavir decided to give Ruru a one-handed practice sword. The woman was a bit unsure, but she still took it. Though the sword was made out of wood, it was surprisingly heavy and she had to hold onto it with two hands.

"Are you sure it's not for two-handed?" Ruru asked as she took a swing with the blade. "It weighs a ton!"

 

Casavir smiled to her encouragingly. “Do not worry, my lady. This is but a training sword. Now, try and attack me, do not worry, my armor will block most of your hits and those it does not I will reflect. Give your best.”

 

Ruru hesitated, but took her stance as Casavir had taught her. She had always fought with daggers, so now she had more range... and more weight to adjust to. She began with a light swing from left to right, followed by a downward slash, which the knight skillfully deflected. Ruru was slow because of her inexperience with the sword, but she tried to give it her all. Because she wanted Casavir to notice... because she wanted to be with him more. To hear his voice and see his approving smile.

 

Casavir kept a concentrated face. Her attacks were simple and easy to dodge. She had little strength and he knew she would hardly gain much more. Perhaps longer daggers would be better. He allowed her a short rest and went to get some. The next round went a lot better. Yes, she was not strong, but quite fast. Not fast enough for him, but she had potential. Next up he handed her a crossbow. “Do you know how to use this, my lady?”

 

Ruru held the crossbow in her hands. "Somewhat, yes. You load the bolt, aim and fire, reload", she said, taking her aim at a target. She took the shot and got knocked on her bum.

Bishop laughed mockingly. "She sucks! I could do better drunk!"

 

“Bishop!” Drea said with a indignant look on her face.

 

Casavir ignored Bishop and helped Ruru up. “Forgive me, my lady. I should have warned you. A crossbow is a powerful weapon. It can pierce through the hardest armour and is often used to hunt vampires.” Then he looked at Bishop. “And werewolves.” If he was completely honest he enjoyed the look on Bishop’s face too much, but the man deserved no better for mocking the brave lady.

“Shall we try again, my lady? You have to find a firm stand and aim carefully.”

 

Ruru was blushing from embarrassment... and also from the fact that Casavir was being so helpful and patient with her. She ignored Bishop's mocking.

"Yes, let's try again", she said with a determined look. 

Casavir taught her how to reload the crossbow, then she placed a bolt and took aim. This time she remembered to shift her balance accordingly. She shot. Of course the weapon would give a kick, but she was prepared to it this time. It would properly take some time before she could completely be able to handle it.

 

Casavir smiled. “Well done, my lady. You are learning fast.” He ignored the ‘You fuck her already’ from Bishop, that by the way caught the werewolf a sour look from Miss Andrea, and took the crossbow off Ruru’s hands. 

“I know now what weapons will be best for you. Please allow me to choose some proper equipment for our journey for you. I would suggest we begin our journey the day after tomorrow, if this is well with you,my lady.”

 

Ruru nodded. "Yes, it is about time I get onward with this destiny of the Dragonborn!" She looked determined, but inside of her was a seed of fear. If she began this journey... how long would it take to finish? Would she be able to return to be just a bard? Would she ever have a chance of a quiet life somewhere... where she could have a memorial for Milka. Thinking of her lost companion made her eyes go sad. The grief she had pushed aside was now filling her with tears. Before Casavir could catch a glimpse of them, she turned around. "I-I should return to the college and tell everyone I'm about to leave to find my destiny." her voice wavered as she spoke, hinting at the tears. 

 

Casavir watched as the woman left. She was truly brave. He would do his best to support her and make sure she stayed alive. 

  
  


That evening Ruru spent the whole time composing a song for both lute and flute. She needed to do something to immortalize her friend, and she made sure to use her emotions as guidelines. She shed many tears... and once morning rays of the sun hit her face, she realized she had fallen asleep on the chair in the music room she had occupied. 

With her muscles aching from the training and sleeping in a wrong position, she stretched carefully before standing up. She looked at the sheets of paper, glancing at the melodies she had put together. It wasn't ready, but it was a start. 

"Milka's song", she wrote on the top of one of the sheets. 

After a quick bath she exited the college and headed towards the marketplace. There were things she needed to buy for herself.

  
  


The next morning she met Ser Casavir, Drea and a still pissed-looking Bishop at Castle Dour. Karnwyr ignored her. He stayed by Bishop’s side and once the man moved the wolf followed. Drea joined Ruru’s side. 

“Nervous?”

 

Ruru pondered and listened to her emotions. "No, not really. I actually feel a lot better now that we can start this journey!" she revealed an excited smile before she became serious. "I am not nervous, but I'm afraid. What if I can't do it? What if I can't save the world?"

 

“Then it will not be saved.” Drea said. "It would be just as much destiny. But you know… I think you can do it.” She lowered her voice. “After all you got the paladin now.” She smirked knowingly.

 

Ruru blushed to this remark. "He's out of reach! And he's a noble... and I'm a farmgirl. This is not a fairytale where the farmgirl gets to marry a prince."

Ruru slapped her hands against her mouth after saying that.  _ Too much information!  _

 

“You worry too much. Such things come natural if they are meant to be.” Drea told her friend. “And we will be out for a long time, so all kinds of things can happen.”

 

Ruru calmed down and stood determined. "I have a world to save. If romance is involved... I'll tell it to go away till I'm done with heroics."

But her glance trailed over to Casavir. A small bud of hope grew in her chest.  _ Out of reach.  _ She reminded herself once again. 

 

Meanwhile Casavir kept his eyes on Bishop. He had to make sure that Bishop would not run off. But he also enjoyed getting out of the city. They would take two horses along, One was his own, a calm and combat-trained horse, the other he had secured for Miss Rudia. In fact, he had bought it with his own money, but he felt the kind woman, who had told him so much about her previous horse, would take good care of it. And it would be helpful if they had to hunt Bishop down. He stopped the group at the stables only a few steps further. 

 

Ruru glanced around the stables. Warhorses. Large, magnificent animals that had been trained to work in combat situation.

 

Casavir stepped next to Ruru. may I introduce you to Gelda? He offered Ruru his arm and lead her to the box a little further. Ruru almost did not hear Casavir’s words as he told her that Gelda would be her new horse and that he had bought it for her as a token of good luck for their journey together. She barely heard as he told her how old Gelda was and where she was from. Ruru only heard the soft neigh and her heart sprung into a gallop. 

  
  


Ruru walked to the stall and gazed at the beautiful, black and white horse. It was tall, and its mane and tail were rather long, but well brushed. Its fur, too, shone healthily. She reached out with her palm open and the horse pressed her muzzle against it, expecting to find snacks, only to chortle from disapproval. Ruru chuckled as she petted the horse's head.

"Sorry, no snacks yet. But I'll make sure to find you a carrot at some point."

Ruru turned her gleaming eyes to Casavir. "Thank you so much. She must have cost a fortune. I'm forever in your debt." There was childlike excitement in her now. 

 

Casavir smiled back at her. He was glad for talking to Miss Andrea about the woman. She had revealed a lot of additional things about Miss Rudia. But seeing that he had done the right thing made his heart fill with happiness. “You can give her a different name, of course. She is yours now. I also took the liberty of buying the proper equipment and supplies for the first few days.”

 

Ruru just smiled. She had never thought that someone would do such kindness to her. Horses were expensive, especially well-trained ones. She had no words to thank the considerate paladin... and though she had the urge to hug the man, she restrained herself. It wasn't appropriate. It wasn't... it just couldn't.  _ Out of reach! _

She saddled the horse with experience. She was surprised to see that Gelda behaved herself as she put the saddle on, and the reins. Ruru walked the horse out of her stall and mounted her. It felt... different... but also like something just clicked to its right place. A void was filled in her heart. 

 

Drea had to admit her friend looked really happy once they got back from the stables. She had waited outside with Bishop and Karnwyr. Of course Bishop had a snarky remark for Casavir, but when everyone ignored him he grumbled and asked if they could  _ finally _ get going now.

 

They left the city. Ruru could feel the horse was eager to go faster, and she let it go at its own pace. She smiled lovingly. Of course, it wasn't Milka, but Gelda had something special in her. Ruru took a mental note to change the name.

 

Casavir offered Drea to ride on his horse but she declined. She did not know how to ride and the big horse scared her a little. She stayed close to Bishop and Karnwyr instead. 

 

"You could always ride me, babyface", Bishop teased with a smirk. 

Ruru rolled her eyes. This is why she never dated anyone. Jerks were everywhere.  _ Well....  _ her eyes wandered to Casavir.  _ Not exactly. But he's still out of reach. _

Ruru decided to try and ignore her feelings for the knight. 

 

Drea smirked at Bishop to his surprise. “I could. But maybe I don’t want to.” There was a challenge in her eyes. And Bishop knew it was not an easy one.

 

"Oh? Well, I have my ways of making you want. Wanna have a taste?" the ranger teased the woman, giving her the same kind of challenging look.

 

Drea did not look impressed the slightest. She turned her eyes up ahead and smiled. “It feels good to be out again. All these people made me nervous.”

 

"We would have been out the whole time, but then someone decided to chase me with vigilants and imprison me!" Bishop snarled loudly. 

Ruru bit her lips. She had a snappy comment on the top of her tongue, but she knew better to keep quiet than to blow into the flames. Aggravating Bishop further would only make him hate her more. And she had decided to show him that he could trust her. It would take time, however. A lot of time. Maybe a lifetime. But it would be worth it. Maybe.

 

Drea picked up a stick from the side of the road. “Hey Karnwyr, do you want to play, Karnwyr?” She wiggled the stick like it was a treat.

 

Karnwyr stared at the stick with a confused look and Bishop took the stick from her. "He's not a lapdog, babyface. He hunts, he doesn't fetch."

Karnwyr's ears perked at the word 'hunt' and he looked at Bishop with excited eyes. 

"Sorry, buddy, but I need to remain in the vicinity of a certain idiot", Bishop said and glared at Casavir. 

 

The moment Bishop threw the stick into the bushes though Karnwyr was all up for it. Perhaps he mistook the sound it made as it fell into the bushes for a bunny or perhaps Bishop and he had played with sticks before but Karnwyr ran after the stick and vanished in the bush, only his bottom poking out. The tail was wagging excitedly before the rest of the wolf reappeared and he held the stick.

 

Bishop stared at the wolf in utter surprise. Karnwyr carried the stick to him and put it down, asking for more with a wagging tail and excited look on his face.

"You stupid mutt", Bishop said, sounding rude, but everyone could hear warmth and gentleness in his words. He took the stick and threw it a bit further. Karnwyr sprung right after it.

 

Drea watched as Karnwyr followed the stick and brought it back. He fought with Bishop for the stick before Bishop got a hold of it and they repeated this. The man first hid his own excitement but after some time he forgot about the people around him temporarily and he began to play with Karnwyr more enthusiastically. Casavir was about to call out that Bishop was not allowed to get so far away, as Drea ran after Bishop and Karnwyr, getting the thought Bishop needed this freedom and Ruru quickly distracted Casavir.

 

"Ser Casavir, should we stop for a moment and practice some spells together? I have limited spells in my disposal, and I would like to learn some more", she said as she stopped her horse.

 

“Stop? After we have only started our journey a few minutes ago?” Casavir looked at the woman slightly confused. Perhaps she was worried and tried to delay? “Is there something on your mind, my lady?”

 

Ruru's thoughts formed a silly sentence:  _ You are, ser Casavir.  _ She shook her head. "Just... let's call it the reluctant hero syndrome."

 

Casavir nodded as a sign that he was listening. “Let us continue on, my lady and discuss it while traveling. I understand that it worries you, but delaying our journey will not help in any way.” He gave Ruru an intense look. “Know that you are not alone, my lady. I will not leave your side unless you want me to or it is required to protect someone.”

 

Ruru smiled to the man, feeling her heart skip a beat... if not three when his intense gaze met hers. She sheepishly looked away and gently urged Gelda to move forward. The man was right, it was foolish to delay. But at least she was able to distract the paladin to give Bishop his freedom for a moment.

 

The ranger ran over the road, following his wolf and soon catching up. Drea was left far behind as her backpack was quite heavy, even with the enchantment to fit more and make it lighter. But she could see Bishop from afar and watched with a smile as he and the wolf wrestled on the ground trying to dominate one another. 

Bishop won and as he looked up again he realized where he was. In what situation. His heart went heavy again and with a deep frown he returned to the group. 

 

Karnwyr tilted his head, slightly confused as the play was over so suddenly. Usually the alpha would play with him for hours. But he followed and ran to stay right at Bishop's side, nuzzling his hand.

Bishop glared at Casavir, making it clear he didn't approve of this. But he would be free. One way or another, he would be. That stupid paladin would have no power over him. He wouldn't allow it.

 

They had a short rest in the noon for some short lunch and then a longer one in the evening. Casavir had suggested they should stay at an inn along the road. Bishop had been against it. It was not even that Bishop despised small inns by the road. He enjoyed a warm bed from time to time. It was also not that he wanted to disagree with Casavir, although that was a bonus. It was the simple fact that he had no money to speak off. The few coins he had ever made he had always saved up for booze so his beast would be too drunk to hunt. And it had worked. Mostly. He glanced at Drea and his stomach moved slightly. All the hangovers had been worth it. 

But he could not afford this bed. And like hell he’d ask them to pay. But Casavir also would not let him sleep outside. Frustrating.

 

Ruru felt an obligation to entertain the patrons at the inn with her songs. It was the first time she also played the melody she had done to immortalize Milka. The melancholic and galloping melody filled the room.   
"Geez... that's going to give me a headache!" Bishop mumbled annoyedly.

 

He had sat down in the furthest corner of the inn, pretty much hoping no-one would notice he was not ordering anything. Of course that did not work as the serving woman came over and looked at him intensely. It was pretty clear Bishop had no coin. He even looked the part. But just as the woman asked him with a smug face what he would like Drea saved him. 

“Coming through, sorry, hot hot hot hot hot.” She balanced two plates and two mugs on her arms and placed them down on Bishop’s table. Then she turned to the woman. “The man behind the bar said I should ask you for some meat and water for our wolf.” The serving woman glanced at the man for another moment before nodding and leaving them alone. 

Drea did not hesitate to sit down with Bishop. “I hope you like tea. I was not sure about the ale, so I just got you some tea.”

 

Bishop scoffed. "Tea. Do I look like that sissy pants paladin who gulps that stuff down?!" he mocked. "Get me some ale instead. Ask for the strongest stuff they have." As he finished his sentence he started to eat.

 

Drea sat down and looked at him in anger. “Bishop.” Her voice contained something that made him look up from the plate. “I am not inviting you so you can make demands. I am inviting you because I know you don’t have money.” She paused. “If you want ale, go buy it yourself. Work for your meal.” Another pause. “In case you have not noticed: Money doesn't grow on trees. I am burning through my savings for you so you better be grateful or at the very least not act like a spoiled brat. I am not your rich mommy that gives you whatever you want.” With that she turned to her own plate and began to eat, visibly angered.

 

Bishop frowned. He was frustrated and angry. From various reasons. Because he was chained in a sense, he was unable to earn any good sum. Selling skins and leather was one way to go, but would that stupid paladin let him go into the wilderness? Or what about his mercenary job? Not much of a hope there either. If this stupid woman would use her head a little bit, then she'd understand he had been driven into a corner, all thanks to her and that fucking bard. 

But he wouldn't waste his energy arguing about it. He had to make plans for an escape. One way or another he'd be free.

 

They ate in silence for a while. 

“You know... I understand that you might not have much use for money when you live out in the wilds, but how about we find a job for you? You are a good hunter, so why don’t you sell those pelts and furs in the towns? Or the meat. People like eating wild meat. It has a different flavour compared to the chickens and pigs and cows they raise on farms. Or you could help me if you like.” She looked at him. “And if you are being helpful to Ruru with the fighting she might have to do we could figure out some payment for you. Casavir hardly can force you to be a part of a group that kills dragons and not pay you, right?”

 

Bishop scoffed. "Maybe I should sell you instead. I hear virgins are at high demand in whorehouses."

 

Drea looked at him dumbfounded, then she laughed. “You think I’m a virgin?”

 

Bishop didn't say anything, he just bit into his slice of bread and chewed.

 

“Well. In any case: since you are so calm about it I guess you can pay for your own room after all. I’m sure you can make the needed coin in no-time. Perhaps you can be a jester and dance to Ruru’s flute.” With that she got up, taking her empty plate and the still filled cup with her to join the patrons who were clapping in rhythm to Ruru’s play.

 

Ruru kept a smile on her face as she flowed from one song to another. She loved the cheers and claps the patrons gave her. Truly. She shone the brightest when she played her lute or flute. She played cheerful tunes, something to lift the spirits of the patrons. If requests were made she gladly obliged, though they were few, as most concentrated on their drinks or meals. She didn't mind. She just wanted to play. And forget for a moment that she was the destined hero. Way too often her eyes wandered to gaze at the paladin. Just to see a glimpse... and immediately look away or concentrate on plucking the strings of her lute. 

 

Casavir listened to the music for some time, but more and more his thoughts were lead into another direction. There were so many things to be careful about. Bishop had to be watched at all times and Miss Andrea would possibly help the man to escape, but he could not only watch out for them. He had to train Miss Rudia. Of course her novice experience helped and that she was able to use magic meant that the wildlife would be spooked more easily,  but that still left the dragons. And the bandits and marauders that would without much delay show up more often now that High King Torygg had been killed and Jarl Ulfric had turned his hunger for power into a war of succession. And then there would be the war itself. As the dragonborn the young woman would be asked to take a stance on it sooner or later. He sighed. So many things to do. As a bard she was well-educated on history and politics. That would play in her advantage. But nothing could have prepared her for this. Greater men and women had fallen to blades and daggers, wiser ones to intrigue and betrayal. And then there was Bishop. The werewolf would tear her apart if he could. Bishop did clearly hate her and that made it even more dangerous. 

Casavir began to imagine many ways of how Bishop could harm Ruru. His face, without him realizing, became darker and darker. Then a soft hand touched his and Ruru looked into his eyes. 

 

"You look like you're bearing the burdens of all the world, Ser Casavir", Ruru spoke in a soft voice that had a compassionate and sympathizing undertone. "Is there anything I can make you feel better?"

 

Casavir realized only now she had stopped her play. “Forgive me, my lady. I did not mean to cause you concern. I have only been thinking about our journey and realized how much more difficult it will be with the war erupting and Bishop not wanting to cooperate.” He tried to give her a warm smile. “Do not fear, my lady, I am sure together we can overcome those difficulties.”

 

Ruru returned the smile. "It's Rudia. Or Ruru. I'm not a lady. I'm just a farmgirl that studied to become a bard." she said and sat down next to him. She ordered some tea for herself. "I may have been taught to act like a proper lady, but that's when I'm in a very fancy place. Like the Blue Palace."

The memory of that evening not too long ago emerged in her mind. She wondered if Casavir realized she was there, too.

 

“Well then, my - Rudia, how about you simply call me Casavir, too? In the spirit of our journey ahead, of course.”

 

Ruru's heart jumped and then started to pound fast in her ribcage.  _ Can I really call him by his first name?  _ Without even thinking, her cheeks turned red and she became sheepish. "O-of course, Ser... Uh... Casavir."

In her mind she scolded herself for acting like a teenage girl who just fell in love for the first time with a war hero. Or some other famous person. Just because Casavir allowed her to call him so informally meant nothing special. He was still a paladin.  _ Out of reach!  _

 

“Please, my lady, I mean… Rudia. Join me for a cup of tea.” Casavir lead the conversation into a more casual direction. "Your throat must be getting quite sore from the singing. I have always wondered how it is that bards can sing for so long without needing new air in their lungs or how they can sing so high and deep all the same. Perhaps you would give me the pleasure of your company and we could discuss about this, if you wish.” He made it sound more like a question, leaving Ruru the chance to suggest any other topic or decline the offer altogether.

 

Ruru chuckled. "Yes, tea would certainly sound lovely. And when it comes to singing - it's all about training. Just like you train with a sword, we bards train our voices. It's all about the right technique. Once you master that, your voice won't get tired. Just like you won't tire as easily when you have the muscles to keep up with the fighting."

 

They conversed politely for a little while. Casavir found himself enjoying the conversation. The young bard had many things to tell and although she was holding back at first after the first cup of tea she warmed up to him and told him this and that. He had never been to High Rock and so the things she told of her home intrigued him. But then the wonderful moment was over as he realized Bishop was gone. And so was Miss Andrea. 

 

  
After Drea made it clear that Bishop was ungrateful the ranger sat there for a moment, not even moving a finger. He felt anger and pain and hatred and frustrated and disgusted. It was not his fault he had no money! And it as even less his fault the fucking paladin forced him to stay at this inn where he suddenly had to pay money he didn’t have. He didn’t need them. All he needed was to hunt. He’d roast the meat over a fire and sleep in a den made of twigs and branches. He always had. Why couldn’t they just leave him alone?! And  _ she _ , she just had to tell him right in his face what a failure he was not being able to afford their luxury. How could she even do that when she had been all nice to him before? 

 

Bishop might have been a grown man, but given the lack of people to care about him he had never really grown up socially. To say he was a spoiled child was half the truth already. And it was not him being spoiled that tipped the scales. He had never had a loving mother or father to tell him off for wrongdoings. In fact when they had told him off it was for whatever. Including him not turning into a beast and killing people. They had even gone as far as starving him so he would hunger too much to resist the monster inside.

What sounds terrible to anyone with a beating heart in their chest, to Bishop it was normal. He had never known any different. He was alone and would always be. And knowing that, one might understand that Bishop did not understand the need of money above buying booze to make the beast too drunk to hunt, or getting luxury. And bread and cheese were amongst them just like a bed for the night or ale. Just that booze had become a necessity once he had realized what it did to the beast. 

 

He felt so broken that he could no longer take the room full of people. He hurried outside and found a place where he was at least partly hidden before the tears welled from his eyes and he allowed them to flow. Karnwyr snuggled onto his side, always being there for his friend. Bishop sobbed. His only friend. And if they stayed in towns all the time? What if Karnwyr would get fed up with them just as he did? Would he leave? Would Bishop just stay imprisoned for the rest of his miserable life? Without his friend? “Don’t leave me…” Bishop sobbed as his hands digged deep into Karnwyr's soft fur. “Please don’t leave me.”

The wolf nuzzled him gently and snuggled closer. It was not the first time Bishop cried, needing his presence. And Karnwyr was a good friend. He would always be there for Bishop. Because Bishop was his friend. His alpha. And he would never leave his side.

 

As Bishop slowly calmed down he tried to find a way out. If he’d run right now the Paladin would hunt him down with that hair he stole from Bishop’s scalp. And then Bishop was in for either being chained up or killed right away. He had no doubt the paladin would kill him. If it hadn’t been for Drea he’d long have done it. 

Drea. How could she say such things about him? How could she expect him to… He snorted to get the snot out of his nose. Stupid crying. It didn’t help in any way. And stupid woman for telling him he just had to work to afford this luxury. He had hunted all his life. Well, at least since he had escaped and made himself a bow and traps and such. He had learned all on his own. And it was just not good enough. He had been selling everything. From pelts and furs over teeth and claws to meat and fat. He even had sold bunny paws when he had heard they were supposed to bring luck. But he never, not even once, had made enough in a day of work to have a day of their food and a bed for the night. How she could do it was beyond him. But then again she was rich. She had a home and all those fancy things. Of course it didn’t hurt her to give it to him. Just like that. Because it didn’t mean anything to those rich people. 

He looked at the tunic she had fixed for him. “ _ Money doesn’t grow on trees.”  _ she had said. Was it hard for her, too? And maybe, just maybe... was she afraid to be hungry and cold, too? Afraid of dying out in the cold? With nothing but twigs and hunted fur to keep the frost from destroying her toes and fingers? 

The thought of her fragile body being torn by frostbite made his stomach pull together. She didn’t know how that was. But maybe he had to tell her. Maybe then she would understand it. 

 

He could hear them calling for him. He didn’t want to come out. He knew his face probably showed he had been crying. The paladin pulled out his hair, casting a spell on it and they came to his hideout. The stack of wood would hardly hide him. Karnwyr jumped out and barked and growled at them. 

 

Ruru froze in place when Karnwyr came out, barking and bristling his fur. She slowly crouched and stared at the wolf with soft eyes. "It's alright, Karnwyr. We won't harm him, or do anything to him."

"And that's bullshit!" Bishop snapped angrily. "Freaking lying paladin's little whore!"

Ruru flinched at those words.

 

Karnwyr snapped at Ruru and she only just managed to pull away in time. The wolf did not like the bad humans who made his alpha howl so sad. He even growled at Drea and she in return just stayed away. Had the man taken her words to heart? Had she hurt him? He was imprisoned after all. It was not like he was free now that they had left Solitude. 

“Bishop?” her voice came quiet. “I know it is hard for you right now, but it will get better. I promise.”

 

"Screw with your promises!" Bishop snapped; the anger in his voice rang with utter despise and scorn. "Like you know how it feels! You've never been caged or starved to death just so that you have to change in order to feed! On people! On little girls like yourself! And then wake up with entrails as your blanket and blood as your mattress! All the freaking time! And with your own family watching from the side and do nothing to stop it!"

 

Everyone stood in shock. Even Casavir who had seen, heard and experienced so much was silent. Even to him the picture was gruesome. 

Drea stood frozen for a while before she crouched and carefully crept closer to the hideout. Karnwyr growled at her warningly, but given that she had been nice not only to Bishop but also him he allowed her to get closer. Still, he stayed alert, willing and capable to rip her apart should she do something bad to Bishop. 

 

The man sat behind the stack of wood and hugged his knees. She could see he had been crying. It broke her heart. And what broke it even more was the glimpse of his past he had just given them. She crawled further and once she reached him she sat next to him, carefully wrapping her arms around him. She did not know what to say or do. Not after this reveal. How could anyone think to understand what he felt like? Right now or ever. She just stayed close and felt the cold skin on his arm. It was dark now and so the evening had brought the coldness of the north. 

 

Bishop pushed the girl away from him. "Get lost!" he growled. "Go away!"

 

Drea looked at the pile of wood for a moment before she crawled back out. She could not force him to accept her friendship. And he could not run away. It would be cruel to push him. 

“Let’s go back inside.” she told Casavir and Ruru. Casavir thought on disagreeing for a moment, but then again he understood that they could not force Bishop to stay and never have some peace and quiet. Even a normal man needed time on his own and so he nodded slightly and turned back. 

 

Ruru stood up... and as she turned, she dropped a small coin purse to the ground. The coins inside released a slight  _ cling  _ as it landed. She followed the others. 

Bishop stayed, still hugging his knees, trapped in his memories. Karnwyr returned to him as soon as the others were gone, looking at him with a question as he sat down and then nuzzled Bishop. The ranger hugged his wolf. Because Karnwyr understood. Karnwyr wouldn't betray him.


	10. Chapter 10

The morning came. Because the night had gotten colder, Bishop had returned to the inn. Instead of a room, he had occupied a corner and slept there. Of course he was woken up by the racket when the innkeeper woke up, and started to prepare the breakfast.

 

Drea was awake early. She had worried about Bishop all night, even in her dreams. She saw him in a corner and given how broken he looked she ordered some breakfast for him and some tea. Never give up. Perhaps Bishop would see she cared and was only trying to help. She sat the plate down in front of him, gave Karnwyr a short pet and some water and then turned to sit on another table to give Bishop his space. 

 

Bishop looked at the food the woman had brought him. His stomach growled demandingly, but his mind was all:  _ Don't take it! It's a trap!  _ He wanted to throw it at her face. But another growl from his stomach made him disagree to the notion of his brains and he dug right in. 

 

Drea ate in silence. She felt tired and just wanted to hide and sleep. But it would not happen. 

Just then Casavir came down. He was already in his armour and pretty much ready to go. He glanced at Drea and sat down at her table, inquiring about Ruru, who was still asleep. Drea had felt it would not have been right to wake her. There was no time pressure.

 

Half an hour later Ruru came down, fully clothed and ready to move on. She ordered things she could eat quickly before moving on. 

 

Once everyone had eaten they left the inn. Bishop looked miserable, but he kept to himself and blocked any friendly words Ruru tried on him. To his surprise Drea did not do such things. 

 

Eventually Ruru gave up to share sympathy with a guy who clearly didn't want it. So she just rode forward.

 

Casavir rode behind everyone. He felt concerned that Drea had to walk. Bishop easily kept up with the horses, but the young woman was obviously slower. Mount Kilkreath was in sight and she huffed slightly as the terrain became steep. 

 

"Drea, if you want, you can sit behind me. Just hold on tightly, you don't need to worry a thing. Gelda seems to have very secure step", Ruru said, also concerned for her friend.

 

“No.” Drea denied. She didn’t like the thought of being trapped on a horse in case they got attacked. 

 

Ruru wanted to reason with her... but knowing how stubborn Drea was, it would be no use to argue about it. 

 

They reached the word wall in the evening. Drea was visibly done with the world and simply let herself fall as Casavir announced they would set up camp right at the wall. Karnwyr sniffed her carefully before he found her to not be dead and returned to Bishop’s side.

 

Ruru glanced at the wall with curiosity. She could hear a quiet chant... and as she concentrated, one of the words written in ancient runes seemed to... glow a little. Ancient, unknown words that called to her. It was the strangest feeling. She had read about dragon language, what little was known about it, but the wall... the ancient magic that it still held... Like a string was pulling her closer and closer till all she could see was that one word. She felt like it was being carved into her mind, and something awakened in her. Just like when she had sucked the souls of the few dragons she had fought and slain, she felt them speak to her. Teach her. Show its meaning.

" _ Su! _ " the word came out from her, mighty and strong, shattering the air and scaring the birds from the nearby trees. 

Then she unsheathed her daggers and gave them a swing, only to realize she was faster with them. If something living would have been in front of her at that moment, that person would have been sliced into pieces.

Startled, Ruru dropped her weapons and fell on her knees. The power that one simple word gave her was... unimaginable.

 

Casavir watched her in amazement. He had wanted to set up the tents, but put it on hold for the moment to see what Ruru was doing. To him nothing happened before Ruru shouted and drew her daggers. But once she did he could see it for himself. The power of the voice.

 

Ruru took deep breaths, collecting herself. This was the power... this was what a dragonborn would be capable of. To use the words of dragons against them. For a moment she considered to just turn back and live her life in Solitude... maybe even make a return trip to High Rock and see her family before the world would be consumed. 

But she knew she couldn't turn back. She refused to be the hated heroine. She wanted to help... bring joy and happiness... peace. Something good in this time of need.

She stood up slowly and sheathed her daggers. She inhaled as she looked at the sky. Nothing was different. Nothing had changed. The stars were still the same. The moons still revolved. She was still but a bard. And more. She would be a living legend. 

Ruru turned around to see the awestruck gaze of Casavir, and the unimpressed frown on Bishop's face, and the slight curiosity in Drea's eyes. Embarrassed, she walked over to the others.

 

Casavir smiled to her. “You should rest, my lady. Both of you. Bishop and I will set up the camp.”

 

Ruru had a sheepish blush on her cheeks. Her practical side thought that she should say to Casavir not to be so overly concerned, the woman in her felt a rush of warmth for Casavir's consideration. She walked to a fallen tree trunk and sat down on it. She still tried to grasp what she had just felt... what kind of power resided in her now. How much more she would gain before she could face Alduin? What else would happen during her journey?

 

Bishop first wanted to decline helping but he figured he had to if he wanted to eat. Once Drea had rested for a moment she joined in and got some water for them while Bishop set up the fire. He watched her curiously from the corners of his eyes. She boiled some potatoes and unwrapped some meat that lay on ice. He figured she was using her magic to preserve the meat like this. And eggs. The big ones, chickens lay. He felt himself drooling slightly. She scolded Karnwyr and tried to get him to stay away from the food. Perhaps Bishop could give her some herbs… 

He finished the fire and murmured he’d be back before whistling for Karnwyr and leaving to find the herbs. And if Casavir wanted to stop him he’d just punch the paladin. 

 

After Ruru had been sitting down for awhile, she stood up. "Is there anything I can do to help?" She didn't want to be useless. She didn't want to be treated differently. Not because of the fact that she was the dragonborn.

 

Drea nodded and pointed at the potatoes that now had to be peeled. “Can you handle these?”

 

Ruru smiled and started peeling, humming a tune as she did. 

 

Drea worked in silence. She was visibly tired, but refused to give in, as usually. Ruru had noticed this behaviour before, but today Drea was especially tired, no doubt due to thinking of Bishop. 

Casavir joined them soon after he had finished setting up the tents. There was one for him and Bishop and one for the two women.

 

Bishop returned soon after with a bunch of herbs and edible plants. There were a lot of snowberries and some herbs Drea and Ruru did not know. Ruru because she had never worked with plants much, Drea because her life in Cyrodiil had only taught her about the plants there. So Drea asked what those were. She looked at Bishop with a curious and friendly expression, waiting for him to tell her how to use them.

 

Bishop smirked. "These are for flavouring. Here, let me show you, little girl."

He took his hunting knife, took some of the herbs and cut them finely before adding them. The next bundle he simply plucked out the leaves and sprinkled them to the food. The last bundle he crushed to release the juice. 

"I don't know what they are called, but I watched some people do it this way and used the knowledge to learn some cooking. For survival. You should learn too."

 

Drea smiled. “Let me try!” She said and reached out for some of the herbs. “What do I do with those?”

 

"Use only the leaves", Bishop instructed.

 

Drea did her best to do it right. She had worked with a lot of herbs, not only back home while growing and cooking, but also as an alchemist. She followed Bishop’s instructions and then carefully sprinkled them over the potatoes Ruru had cut. Bishop looked pleased. Well, behind his grumpiness.

 

"Heh, not bad, for a little girl like you", Bishop said. Though his tone was sarcastic, even rude, his words still conveyed certain warmth in them.

 

“You’re not that bad either, for a wolf.” She smiled as she said that.

 

Bishop scoffed. "A big bad wolf with a taste for little girls like you." He sounded threatening now, though there was a playful glimmer in his eyes.

 

Oh.” she said. “So you don’t want any potatoes and egg? Can I have your share then?”

 

Bishop laughed. "Bah! Touch my share and I'll eat you up instead."

 

They bickered for a little while longer. Bishop quickly figured out that she would not take his food but he still enjoyed this conversation. It was something he could not do often. Karnwyr was the only one who was close enough to him to play games like this, but their ‘bickering’ went around with wrestling and trying to get a stick or a piece of meat. With her it was different. And she seemed to at least try to understand him. Not that he would let her get too close, but like this it was alright. 

As they all sat around the fire he even sat a little closer to her than he would have needed. She would not take his food or drive a knife in his side, so it was alright. 

 

“So, my la- Rudia, where should we go next?” Casavir asked. “If you wish to go to Ustengrav right away I would think it possible.”

 

Ruru thought about it. She had read about Volskygge, and about Hag's End. Those two places apparently held an ancient power within, but would it be wise to brave into them?

"There are two ruins nearby that hold a power like this wall", she gestured at the dragon wall. "Volskygge and Hag's End. They are, if I remember right, north and south from this place."

Bishop frowned. "I wouldn't go to Hag's End if I were you, wench", he started, but then he smirked. "Actually, please do! I would love to see the forsworn tear you and that paladin into pieces!"

 

Casavir checked the map. “Another two days of travel to either of them. And through the wilderness, no less. That means it will likely be three days. Volskygge is in the west, Hag’s end West-south.” 

Drea looked into the map, too. “Will it be alright to just leave the road? What if we get lost?”

 

Bishop snorted. "You will, but I won't." he said with confidence. "I could, of course, be the nice guy that I am not, and guide you for a fee."

 

Even Casavir could not disagree on this. Especially not when Drea added they could hardly demand of Bishop to go on a fool’s errand and kill dragons without giving him anything in return. “Well…” Casavir said. “If you put it that way, I suppose you are right.” He went silent, obviously thinking on this.

 

Bishop smirked from this small triumph. Maybe he could lead them all astray and make his escape before the paladin was able to realize anything. But then he frowned a bit.  _ Too risky _ , he debated.  _ He can still track me down.  _

 

Drea went to sleep right after eating up. Karnwyr curled up next to Bishop who still sat by the fire. 

 

Ruru stayed up. Anything to be a little closer to the paladin, who would always be out of her reach anyway because of his rank and status. Wishful thoughts for a woman who was slowly and surely going head over heels for someone... again. And as if the goddess of love was making fun of her, the man was someone she would never have.  _ I'm cursed, right?  _ she thought to herself as her gaze wandered over to Casavir before staring at her own hands.  _ Cursed to never have anyone proper.  _

Bishop petted Karnwyr's fur absentmindedly. And slowly sank into his own thoughts. His plans of escape.

 

The only way for him to escape was to get rid of that hair the paladin carried with himself. But he kept that stored away inside a small pouch on his chest, under his clothes and under the armor. If he wanted to get to that he would have to be careful. He glanced at the paladin, then at Ruru, who looked at Casavir as if she was about to drool. Stupid wench. Perhaps that was the reason why she sold him out. To get chances with the paladin. His eyes became dark but then an idea formed in his head and he grinned wolfishly. He could use her. And he would get his revenge on her. In the end, if he did this right, the paladin would blame her.

 

Eventually Ruru retired to sleep, wishing both men a good night before she went inside the tent where Drea slept soundly already.

The next morning they broke camp after breakfast and journeyed towards the ruins of Volskygge Ruru had pointed out.

 

Bishop enjoyed getting back into the wilderness. Karnwyr sniffed out prey and soon the ranger followed his friend, not caring for Casavir’s demands he should come back.

“Leave him be.” Drea said. “You can’t expect him to always be around us. Karnwyr has to hunt and given how close they are Bishop would kill all of us if his friend got hurt because he had to hunt alone.”

Casavir didn’t like the idea of Bishop getting away, especially with a bow at hand. He could easily kill them from afar if he knew how to use that bow.

 

Ruru didn't know how to react. On one hand she understood Drea's point, as it was her own as well. Must a prisoner have such a short leash?

"I think... Bishop is not that foolish. If he wanted to kill us, he'd do so with his knife when we are fast asleep. He wouldn't waste arrows. And given his skills with herbs, he could..." she stopped her track of thoughts. It scared her. 

 

“My la- I mean, Rudia, I think you are wrong. Bishop is hardly stupid enough to come close to us while we are asleep. Perhaps he would try that with you or Miss Andrea as you are not trained to watch your surroundings, but he definitely would not try to kill a fully-fledged warrior with a knife. No, if he wanted to kill us his best option is to do it from the bushes where he is hidden. If he hit me the best I could to is to use my crossbow and even then I would have to find him first. But I think we can agree on having to be careful around him.” 

 

“Don’t speak of him like he is evil! I bet if he could he would just run away and leave us behind. He’s not a killer.” Drea tried to defend Bishop.

“That kind of thinking is foolish, my lady.” Casavir said with a frown. “I understand your compassion, but there has to be some will of self-preservation in you.”

 

Ruru was conflicted. She wanted to side with Drea, but she also shared the opinions of Casavir. Where would the golden midway lie? Bishop was a difficult man to deal with. He didn't trust them, he probably never would. Drea was the only one he allowed to come close, but he still kept a safe distance. Ruru knew Bishop despised her, because of what she had done. Bishop hated Casavir even more. There was nothing else but see and have patience.

"If we can't trust him, how is he going to trust us?" Ruru finally uttered the question as she glanced at Casavir and Drea.

 

“I trust him.” Drea stated.

 

Ruru had a snappy comment on that statement, but she closed her mouth tightly shut. It was no use to tell the woman she was being an idiot.

"Let's just try and follow Drea's example", she eventually said. "Bishop might surprise us positively."

 

Bishop joined them again several hours later. He looked a little less grumpy Drea thought. Much unlike Casavir who had a deep frown on his face by the time Bishop came back.

 

"Why the long face, paladin", Bishop mocked with a smug face as he glanced at his nemesis. 

 

Casavir ignored Bishop. 

“He was worried for you.” Drea said. 

 

Bishop laughed sarcastically. "The only thing he worries about is where is the next warm bed he can sleep in. Or which lady to dance with." Bishop mocked rudely before muttering: "Stupid prissy paladin!"

Ruru pressed her lips together. She wanted to defend Casavir, she really did, but it would make matters worse. Sadly Bishop wasn't going to give up.

"I wonder when he'll snap and take that wench's virginity. Or is she a virgin? Maybe not. Wenches like her fuck around for extra coin, don't they?"

Ruru's hand was on the handle of her dagger before she realized she was only letting Bishop's insults get to her. She took a deep breath and slowly calmed down and released her hold of the handle.

"Since you are so curious about it, ranger, I  _ am  _ a virgin." Ruru said. "And it's because of jerks like you that plague the availability of good, considerate men."

 

Neither Casavir nor Drea really wanted to say anything about the argument. And Bishop didn’t care. The wench could say whatever she wanted. It could be as much a lie as the truth.

  
  


They made camp early evening two days later. They needed a good night's sleep in order to brave the depths of the nordic ruin that loomed further away. Bishop had noted the burning fires near the ruin. It was being occupied. But he didn't really give a damn. If those bandits would take care of these idiots, he'd be free to go.

Ruru glanced at the ruin that was carved into a small mountain. What could lay there waiting for them?

 

“I’m cold.” Drea said. “Can’t we just go over and find out who that is at the ruin?”

“I agree it would be better to know that, my lady, but with everyone being exhausted we could easily get into trouble if we had to fight them.” Casavir answered while making sure the horses would stay calm.

 

Bishop dug out a fur cloak and threw it to Drea. It's not like he cared or anything. If the girl would get ill, she'd just slow them all down.

"Better rest up. I'll keep watch."

 

Drea looked at Bishop. “But… won’t you get cold without it?”

 

Bishop scoffed. "Don't waste your energy to worry about me, babyface", he said rudely, but Drea could see a glimpse of concern in his eyes. "I won't get cold."

 

She nodded carefully. They went to their bedrolls and Ruru and Casavir both were out fast. But Drea could see Bishop trying to stay warm making himself small and staying close to Karnwyr. She got up and walked over to him. “Mind if I join you?”

 

Bishop's eyes were piercing and his expression displeased. "Just go to sleep, babyface!" Why was this woman fussing over him all the time? It was getting annoying. Or that's what he tried to tell himself.

 

“I’m too cold to sleep.” She carefully pulled the cloak off her shoulders and placed it on his. Warmth surrounded him like a blanket. She sat down next to him and looked to the ruins. “You know… In the morning the sun will come back. Then I’ll be warmer. But I have a cloak and I won’t die from the cold until then. But you should not freeze like this.”

 

Bishop frowned. "Worry about yourself first!" he snapped. "That's what everyone does. Think of themselves. Even when showing sympathy."

He considered taking the cloak off... but it was so invitingly warm. Like Karnwyr's company.

 

“Maybe you are right. But then again you gave me your cloak. What for, if not because you wanted to help me? I think you know that sometimes this rule does not apply.”

 

"Tsk!" Bishop hissed sharply. "Whether or not the rule applies, who knows when someone is there to stab you in the back. Remember that, little girl."

 

“Well, I won’t.” she said, shuffling a little closer. “Would you… would you mind if I sit closer so we share our warmth?”

 

Bishop glared at the girl. The doubting side in his mind was telling that she was just trying to lower his guard. Like hell he would allow that. But the other half of him wanted to feel her a little closer. Just a little. Even if... 

He shrugged and opened the cloak so the woman could snuggle closer. At least he could admire the view.... 

 

She snuggled onto him carefully. He could feel her relative warmth compared to his own cold skin. He noticed her breath was slightly irregular and she was shaking while she leaned onto him. Almost like prey. The thought was confusing at first but then he realized she was nervous being so close. He listened into his own soul and felt the same nervousness there. Perhaps she was afraid he would stab her. 

 

Silence fell between them, and around them. It was only an hour later when a scream of agony filled the air briefly before it was cut short... like with a knife. Bishop startled to stand up. Karnwyr started to growl low as he paced around. There was another scream, and another.

 

Drea sat frozen in place. Casavir was out of his tent in moments, never sleeping too fast when out in the field. “Bishop. Report.” he demanded before realizing Bishop was no soldier. 

 

Bishop scoffed. "You can go check for yourself, if you like, paladin. I'm not foolish enough to check on a possible bear attack... or a troll attack and make the beast catch my scent in the process."

Another scream was heard.

Ruru crawled out of her tent. "What's going on?"

 

“Someone was screaming suddenly.” Drea said, pointing into the direction of the ruin that lay in darkness. “The camp seems no different.” She used magic once again to enhance her view. “I think they heard the screams, too. Their guards have the weapons drawn and look our direction.”

“We best get ready for a fight then.” Casavir said. 

 

Bishop took his bow, Ruru drew her daggers. They stood there, waiting. Then, in the shadows a silhouette approached the bandits in their camp. Before the guards were able to do anything, one of them was quickly incapacitated, and the other was attacked from behind. It almost looked like the person was... biting the bandit in his neck.

 

“Vampire.” Casavir growled. “Use your crossbow and don’t let it see you. You two ladies will stay here, Bishop and I should handle this.” He glanced at Bishop. “Have you had dealings with vampires before?”

 

Bishop knocked an arrow to test his bow. "Plenty enough to know that they are annoying to kill."

Ruru remembered the polite, mysterious young man on the road. It could be possible... but... leaving a vampire alive... 

 

“You are a good archer from what I saw. Aim for the head and any vitals. That’ll slow the vampire down. When it sees you you should use fire arrows.” He took a few from his pack. “I can light them for you once we’re down.” With that he hurried towards the ruins, trying to move as stealthy as possible in his armor.

 

Bishop considered leaving the paladin alone with this. If the vampire would deal with him, he himself would be free. But that would be too... conspicuous. So he followed Casavir and once in range, he drew the bow to its limit and took aim at the vampire who was feeding on more bandits.  _ Enemy of my enemy is my friend. Bwah!  _

He released the arrow and it landed near the vampire. The creature lifted its eyes and quickly disappeared into the darkness. 

 

A  _ thud _ let Bishop know, though that Casavir had not missed. The vampire groaned and Bishop was quick to follow the sound. He didn’t have a death wish, but if that vampire escaped and he didn’t see it he’d be dead before seeing another sunrise.

 

Bishop ran to the scene, and glanced at the red-haired young male with pale skin and masculine features. He was wearing a leather armor and a cloak with a deep hood. No doubt for hiding his face from the rays of the sun. The man was covered in blood of his victims. Bandits.

"So.... should we burn him?" Bishop asked with a crooked grin.

 

Casavir was faster. He impaled the vampire, his sword imbued with some magic that made the vampire go up in flames. Once the man lay there, all burned up Casavir pulled his sword out. “ _ Never _ .” he breathed heavily. “Never wait and see what a vampire might do, Bishop. He could easily have killed us even wounded like this. Don’t waste time talking.” Looking up he saw Bishop’s angry face. “Don’t give me that look, you know better than to give a vampire the chance to kill you. As for the rest of the men at the ruins we best check them out before returning. I think they might not even be bandits. One of the dead men wore a ring of the explorer’s society.”

 

Bishop turned on his heels and marched towards the assumed bandit camp. All of the people there were dead. Some were drunk dry. It sickened him. And that wench had dared to suggest that he would be turned to something that would do this  _ every  _ night?! Stupid bitch!

 

“We need to bury the dead. You should return to the ladies, pack up and come here. It will be safer to set camp here.” Casavir said to Bishop. “I’ll have a look around for a place to bury them.”

 

"Don't give me orders, prissy paladin!" Bishop snarled. "I'm not your stupid, brainless lackey!"

 

“Fine. Then I’ll go.” Casavir turned and left Bishop with the corpses. 

Once back with the women he told them what happened. “Pack up and we go to the ruins. It seems everyone there is dead. The vampire killed everyone.”

 

Ruru looked absolutely terrified. "And the vampire?"

 

“Dead.” Casavir replied. “We were lucky it was not aware of our presence.”

 

Ruru nodded and started to collect her stuff and packing her tent.

 

“Where is Bishop?” Drea asked carefully. Only when Casavir told her he was down by the ruins she packed up as well and followed Ruru and the paladin.

 

Bishop had been carrying bodies to a small meadow a stone throw away from the ruins. He was digging graves when everyone arrived to the ruins. Ruru looked around, seeing all the blood that had been spilled all over the place. To see what kind of damage a single vampire could do... it made her stomach turn around. 

She took a walk around the ruin... and in the light of her magelight, she saw the burned remains of a man... the vampire. She felt a weird squeeze in her guts. Why she felt that way, she couldn't say. She approached the charcoaled body and held her breath. She smell of burned flesh still lingered in the air. She crouched and inspected the body... and noticed something shining amongst the blackened remains. She carefully removed it... only to see it was an expensive looking silver ring with diamonds. It seemed old-fashioned from the way it looked. Like a crown with a square tipped to stand on one corner and the square was filled with little, exquisitely cut diamonds. 

Something tickled in her mind. A flash of images. She frowned as she tried hard to remember. Then she realized that the mysterious man she had met on the road over a week ago had kept something similar... no.... it was the same thing. The same ring. This vampire was the one she had met. 

She was repulsed and she quickly hurried to the bushes to throw up what little was still not digested from the dinner. Ruru could not find any explanation to this reaction. Only that she thought it was uncalled for. That it was not just. It was murder. Casavir had killed a man who had not harmed her even if he had been well able to. 

She kept gagging till there was nothing left in her stomach. She walked over to a stream to rinse her mouth and wash her face. Then she returned to their camp, and searched for a shovel. The least she could do for the stranger was to give him a proper burial.

 

“His remains have to be sanctified, my lady.” Casavir said. “Are you alright? You look pale.” Perhaps he should not have let the women see all the dead. 

 

Ruru didn't answer. She felt angry. And as she turned to look at Casavir, her glare said it all.  _ How could you? How could you kill him?  _

 

“My lady?” Casavir looked at her in confusion. Was that anger in her eyes? But why?

 

Ruru wiped her eyes when she realized there were tears streaming down her cheeks. Her knight, her Casavir... nothing but a murderer. The thought broke her heart. That vampire probably wouldn't have done anything to them. Maybe he just thought that these were bandits. If he was killing bandits to feed himself, that meant he was a good vampire, right?  _ And I don't even know his name!  _ Even more tears streamed down her cheeks. And she tried to wipe them all away before anyone could see them. 

"He..." she hiccupped. "He wasn't evil. He didn't need to... he was... I met him... he didn't kill me, or anything... he was polite and sweet... "

 

Casavir stood there, dumbfounded. How could she say he was not evil when he had willingly killed all those people? “My lady… he killed a dozen people without remorse. How can you believe he was good? If it is the same vampire you told me about that does not make it better. He may have spared your life, but he bit you. You could have turned. You could have…” Casavir didn’t want to think what would have been if she had turned into one of those monsters.

 

Ruru cried out, feeling miserable and heartbroken. Casavir didn't understand... but he also had a point. But in her mind it was still unjust to kill him like that. She squeezed the ring inside her palm as she wiped her cheeks. She really didn't have any proof if the man had bit her, as she had lost consciousness, and had only vague memories after before waking up at the inn.

 

Casavir carefully took her hands into his. “Please, Rudia, don’t cry. I am sure you will feel better soon. Perhaps it is best if you join Miss Andrea and set up the camp while I sanctify the corp- the dead and bury them.”

 

Ruru wanted to pull her hands free... and at the same time snuggle into his arms. Instead she did neither and cried her stupid feelings out. She felt silly. She nodded and walked over to Drea and helped her setting the camp.

 

Drea looked just as pale in the face of the events. She wanted to sleep, but it was hard to do that when there were dead people around. And she wanted to know if they were really safe.

 

Ruru took a deep breath as she slowly calmed down. As she spread the bedrolls open inside the tents, she glanced at the ring she had taken from the man's corpse. Should she keep it? She inspected it a little bit more till she found an engraving inside the ring. It was dated over two hundred years ago, to someone called Gabriella. 

Her imagination started to gallop as she thought who this Gabriella could have been to this man.

 

Bishop and Casavir worked for the rest of the night. When they were finally done the sun already begun to rise and Bishop sat down by the fire the women had made. He glanced at Drea who looked like she was going to fall over if she wasn’t sitting. He could use some sleep, too. Casavir’s assumption seemed to be right. When they had buried the men and women they had found more rings and some research notes. Perhaps he should just close his eyes…

 

He woke up next to Drea who was sleeping. The paladin sat by the fire and cooked something. It was noon or shortly after he guessed by the sun that shone down on them.

 

Bishop felt a bit startled.... and strangely attracted. She was right there, so close... so warm... so sweet and beautiful. Before he got any ideas of touching her sleeping face, he stood up and walked over to the fire.

 

Casavir looked up. “Good morning, Bishop.” He said. Of course he did not like Bishop any more than before, but Casavir was polite enough to even be friendly with a man like Bishop. And it was required. As a group traveling together they should not argue all the time. Their chances of survival were tied directly to getting along well.”I made some stew, take whatever you need.”

 

Bishop grumbled and glared at Casavir with evident suspicion. He sat down. "Let me guess. Your favourite spice is wolvesbane, right?" he snapped at the paladin.

 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Bishop.” Casavir answered. “I said I wasn’t going to kill you and I meant it. Besides, wolvesbane is even more poisonous to humans. I would not risk to harm Miss Rudia or Miss Andrea.” 

 

Bishop scoffed. Like hell he would stoop so low and eat anything the paladin had prepared. His stomach disagreed with a loud growl, however. The smell of fresh food was enticing. He had no choice if he wished to remain sharp. 

Bishop filled a bowl and ate. The stew was just as bland as the paladin.

 

When he was done eating and cleaning his bowl Bishop decided to scout the area for a bit. They would not go into the ruins until the next morning because Casavir wanted to ensure they all were rested and prepared. And although Bishop hated the paladin he had to agree. The bard couldn’t fight, really, and he had not seen much of what Drea could do. But they would be an easy target for any undead in those ruins. He had been in a few, not deep, but just to see if there was anything worth taking so he could survive another winter. It almost never was worth it. The draugr were a disgusting bunch, hard to kill as they were more dead than alive already. 

 

Ruru woke up a bit later and joined Casavir by the fire. She didn't know what to say, other than greet the man politely. She had acted foolishly in front of him last night, after all.

 

“I hope your sleep was restful, my- Rudia.” He smiled. “Bishop went to hunt, you should take some stew and rest some. I suggest we stay here until tomorrow. With any luck the explorers have already cleared a path. If not we could return later with a few diggers to get to the wall.”

 

Ruru nodded as she took a bowl and filled it with stew. She ate slowly, still thinking what exactly to say. 

"I hope this is not too much of a burden", she stated eventually. Then she chuckled. "From topic to flower pots, this stew is delicious."

 

Casavir smiled. The woman obviously felt better when the simple stew made her say that. “I’m afraid there is no rose tea to it, my lady. Although I could make some if you wish.”

 

Ruru gave him a sweet smile. "Let's enjoy rose tea when we are staying in a more... peaceful place, shall we?"

She placed the half-empty bowl next to her and took the ring to inspect it more. She had cleaned it up as much as possible, but it was still dirty. She wanted to restore its shine. Maybe even keep it... find out who this 'Gabriella' was. And if the man still had any relatives she could return the ring to.

 

Soon Drea woke up, too. She had a huge appetite, getting seconds and even thirds before she leaned back. “Now I feel alive again.” She declared as her eyes closed and she snuggled her cloak around herself.

  
  


The next morning after breakfast they walked to the door leading inside the ruins. Casavir and Bishop at the front, shielding the two women behind them. Karnwyr was anxious, though. He didn't like this place and he paced around, barking and growling warningly.

"Is this really necessary?" Bishop grumbled as his angry and annoyed gaze wandered over to Ruru.

"I should try and collect as many dragon shouts as possible", Ruru answered. "Let's just look around and see if it's... possible to traverse through. If not, we can try another time."

 

Bishop frowned. “Great. And risking my hide in here is definitely necessary.”

 

"Let's just go inside and have a look", Ruru said. "If there's danger, we come back out and seal the door."

 

Drea wondered how dangerous it really was. Casavir had said they could die and she was not allowed to go ahead and she had to watch out for traps and pressure plates. Was Ruru aware of that? What if Bishop got hurt because he was forced to go in here with them? She glanced at the woman who was so confident in this.

 

Ruru had a frown on her face. She was unsure of this whole thing. But considering how she had to go through ancient ruins like these to find dragon walls... She was risking lives here. Her friends and her own. How could anyone expect them to survive in there where dead walked?

 

Eventually it was Casavir who broke the silence. “We have better chances to survive together. But if you want to stay at the camp and wait, Bishop, we won’t judge.”

 

Bishop didn't even hesitate to turn on his heels and walk to the fire. "Good luck! Tell the draugr I said hi!" he said and waved sarcastically.

 

They watched after him, Drea the longest before they turned back to the hallway. 

“Alright then.” Casavir said. “Let’s make sure to get out alive.”

 

To Bishop it was an obvious choice to stay behind. Why would he risk his life for that stupid wench in the first place? Then another thought popped into his mind.  _ Now or never. I could run away right now!  _ But the paladin still had his means to track him down.  _ Dammit! _

But then he started to think about Drea. Would she be alright? Such thoughts were unfamiliar to him. Why did he care? Because... because of something. 

The day slowly passed. Too slow in Bishop's opinion. He glanced at the doors of the ruin. Almost waiting for them to pop back out any minute now. Or maybe... just maybe they had all perished already.

_ Serves them right, stupid idiots! _

But whatever made Bishop to take his bow, quiver of arrows and his hunting knife, he followed them inside.


	11. Chapter 11

Ruru drove her daggers inside the dry walking corpse and send a fire spell along the blade to finish the creature off. They were everywhere in the chamber. She now understood that it would be impossible without proper backup, but at least draugr were easier to deal with... sort of. Strike, use fire. That was the general idea. She used the Elemental Fury shout to enhance her attack speed and sliced and diced dried bodies left, right and center. But even she got tired. Even more so than Casavir or Drea. She now regretted never taking any serious training in fighting, and gaining experience on the field. Because bards didn't fight.

 

She was distracted only for a split second by her thoughts before a slash and her own pained scream filled her ears. Casavir quickly stepped over her so the draugr could not kill her but her vision went blurry right after. 

She came back to her senses who knows how long later, Casavir and Drea still fighting. 

“Stay down!” Drea shouted before Ruru could even try to get up. She couldn’t feel her arm and there was pain in her shoulder so strong that she could not think straight.

 

Ruru touched her shoulder as lightly as she could to inspect the damage. Even that light brush was enough to send a shock of pain throughout her body. For a moment the pain blinded her and she wished unconsciousness would take her... but then she could see again and she watched as Casavir and Drea did their best to fend off the draugr. 

Ruru felt useless... and hopeless. She wasn't a warrior. She was just a woman with nothing but her lute and voice.

Then she heard a strong  _ woosh  _ fly through the air and an arrow was sticking from the corpse that Drea was fighting. The draugr was staggered for a moment. Enough for Casavir to finish it off. Another arrow flew over her.... then she heard a wolf bark and Karnwyr ran over to protect Drea.

 

Drea was startled for a moment as the arrow pierced her shield and went into the disgusting creature in front of her. Then she recognized Karnwyr’s barking and growling. Without turning she shouted to Bishop that there were more draugr above their heads and shielded Karnwyr. To her all of the fighting was just as new as to Ruru, but her power made it almost impossible for any of the draugr to get to her. Which did not stop them from mobbing and shouting just like Ruru had by the wall. 

 

Bishop kept shooting with extreme precision. He didn't really know why he was so.... willing to defend these idiots. But he just... had to.

Ruru tried to sit up, but her shoulder protested with another wave of pain, and she just remained still. She hoped they could survive this.

 

It felt like hours had passed before Casavir struck down the last draugr and hurried over to Ruru to heal her arm. Once Drea saw the arm she almost threw up, making a gurgling sound while she turned to the side. It was almost cut off, rust from the weapon clung to the wound and Ruru whimpered now that the rush of adrenaline already subsided. 

 

Ruru prayed to gods that she could be able to play with her arm. She glanced at Casavir, grimacing and whimpering from pain that pierced through her body again and again in waves. "How bad is it...?" she asked. "Will I lose it?"

 

Casavir didn’t answer. He was not sure himself. Asking Drea for assistance he began to clean the wound and apply magic. It took a long time before his grim expression changed into an exhausted one, while he was still patching her up.

Bishop kept his eyes on the exits of the chamber to avoid any more ambushes. It seemed he had come just in time. For a few moments at a time he glanced at Drea. He had always hated mages. They threw the elements around like they owned the world and didn’t care about anything. Setting a forest on fire meant nothing to them. But Drea seemed to be different. He had expected her to not care once her life was on the line, but she had not been reckless with her powers. Which were immense. He had never seen anything like it and now he understood how it was possible for her to keep his beast away from her throat. He decided that perhaps some mages were not all that bad. 

 

Ruru was holding onto her consciousness. She could feel Casavir's magic weave her flesh back together, get engulfed by this weird sense of warmth and she fought against the darkness she was slowly being lulled to. 

_ If I don't wake up... I'll never see Casavir again. Or anyone. Maybe I shouldn't have come here. Maybe I shouldn't have agreed to take the mantle of the dragonborn. I'm no hero. I'll never be.... _

She closed her eyes.

 

When she got back to her senses she was in a tent. For a time she just lay there and listened to the sounds of the birds and the wind as it gently moved the trees. Then she tried her arm. Her body felt stiff but as she looked at it it was intact. She could see a fine line where it had been apart, but it looked like the scar was old. So faint that she would have not seen it if she hadn’t looked for it. 

Outside she heard voices, far away. Bishop was nagging again about Casavir  _ ordering him around _ .

 

Ruru sat up slowly and eventually crawled out of her tent. She watched the ranger arguing with Casavir.... like a child throwing a tantrum, which Casavir dealt with calmly. 

 

“Miss Rudia!” Casavir exclaimed. He was with her in a moment and carefully inspected her. “How do you feel?”

 

"Like a ball in a giant's polo game", Ruru answered sarcastically, revealing a slight grin. As a test she carefully moved her arm around, wiggled her fingers and did few practice moves. "It's still a bit stiff..." she said worriedly.

 

“I will hold out on the lectures about your recklessness for now.” Casavir said. “Just sit at the fire and eat something. You have been passed out for a few days. And before you ask, Miss Andrea is well. She is gathering some berries with Karnwyr.”

 

Ruru nodded and walked over to the fire. She sat down, took some food and ate in silence. Her own recklessness had almost cost her an arm. Should they even consider going to Hag's End? What about Ustengrav?

 

Casavir left her to her thoughts for now. When Ruru glanced around she could see they had set the camp to be more secure. Bishop was chopping some wood, glancing to the forest from time to time while Casavir sat down and enchanted some bolts.

 

When silence got too unbearable, Ruru started to hum. She took out the ring, and was glad to see it was still intact. She gently brushed it from the remaining dirt and ash, and wondered about many things. Like where to next, what exactly she should do. Should she continue onward like this? With no real experience in combat? If Ustengrav would be a disaster like this... the only way to avoid it would be training... she would need to fight in order to keep her head straight.

 

“An old heirloom, my lady?” Casavir asked politely, looking at the ring in her hand. 

 

"It's not mine. I found it awhile ago", she said, telling half the truth. Her eyes looked up at Casavir, and for a moment she felt like drowning into those steel-blue eyes.

 

“You found it?” Casavir asked, worried someone might have lost it and now missed it dearly.

 

Ruru gazed at the ring. "That vampire had it. There's a carving on the inner side of it. A name Gabriella and a date that probably makes this ring over two hundred years old." She finally admitted.

 

Casavir was silent. Perhaps she had known the vampire better than she had admitted. Why else would she take this ring and not see it as loot that they had all agreed to share so Bishop would be equally paid.

 

"But if it worries you, I can bring it to the capital and ask someone if they know anyone who is missing such a beautiful item." Ruru said quietly.

 

“Perhaps we should do that. Let us hope it has not been stolen from a young lady and she got into trouble with her beloved.” He looked up and saw Drea returning from the forest. “Once you feel better, Miss Rudia, you should think on what we do next. We can go back inside and explore further or we can leave.”

 

Ruru frowned. She couldn't be a hindrance to her friends. She needed experience. "Let's return to Solitude for now. After that... I don't know. I think we should go to Ustengrav."

 

“In that case I suggest we go to Morthal, not to Solitude.” Casavir said. 

“What? The moron wants to go right into the next ruin?” Bishop interrupted. But before anything else could happen Drea sat down a basket and looked at Ruru inspectingly. "You’re up.”

 

Ruru glanced at Drea and smiled. "Yes. I'm sorry if I worried you."

 

“I told you not to be so reckless. I don’t care if you can shout and make yourself superfast. You can’t let yourself get surrounded!” Drea said with a frown. “Dammit, do you even realize how close you were on going over the cliff?”

 

Ruru just sat there, silent and pondering, before she spoke. "I was... overconfident. And it won't happen again."

Bishop scoffed and started to mock the woman with harsh insults. "Stupid woman. Just because you are the dragonborn doesn't mean you're immortal. Get that to your little head, if there's any room because you're fixated on that prissy paladin."

Ruru sighed and took the abuse the ranger spat at her.

 

“He is right, although I would not use all the insults.” Drea said, then she realized there had been no insults. It was a fact that Ruru had been stupid. Bishop’s words had come as rude as always but now that she thought about it there really were no insults. He even had argued less with Casavir, although that might have been because Casavir treated Bishop with more care, not giving in to useless discussions.

 

Ruru frowned deeply. There it was again. Everyone was against her, and she knew well she deserved it. But what could she do? Her feelings wouldn't change overnight, no matter how hard she would try. Her skills in battle lacked, and all those times she had won were by pure luck or because someone had shielded her. She was supposed to be the hero now, take responsibility, but how could she when she was so... incompetent? 

She stood up and walked to the edge of their camp to a tree. With all the frustration, stress and anger inside of her, she started to hack and slash at the trunk with her daggers. Faster and faster, screaming and crying.

Bishop started to laugh while watching the scene. "She snapped! She went bonkers. So, what now? The last hope of the world has become insane. I think we should throw The End of the World party in the next city."

 

Casavir walked over to Ruru and with no sweat broken he disarmed Ruru and forced her to look into his eyes. “Stop this madness immediately! Your arm can’t take this onslaught and neither will it help. You may not have chosen to be the dragonborn but you are. And there is no sensible reason to cry about it. As harsh as Bishop’s words are, my lady, you cannot act like a child and endanger all around you. I understand that it is frustrating to you to be forced into this role and if you wish to return to Solitude and give up on protecting everyone then so be it. I will escort you back and help defending the city as well as I can.  I said it before and I will say it again, my lady. If you wish to learn how to fight to protect the people of Tamriel I will teach you everything I can. But I have no time to play escort to a young lady that throws a tantrum because she made a mistake.” His words came hard as if he spoke to a soldier. Drea stared at him and even Bishop stared at the prissy paladin in surprise. He was not prissy at all behind the polite behavior. 

 

Ruru didn't know what to say. All she could think of was that she should have never gone to Helgen. She wiped her eyes and averted her gaze from Casavir's. They were all correct. She had lived sheltered life, she had never had other responsibilities than those back at home in the farm and then those of a bard student. Now she had to think of her own safety, and the safety of others. If she wanted to save the world, she had to learn how to protect herself and those around her. And there was no other way but move on with the journey, if she still wanted to keep up with becoming the prophesied saviour.

She took a deep breath, calmed down and then looked into Casavir's eyes with determination.

"I won't let this world be consumed. I could not live with myself in the next one, knowing that I could have saved it."

 

Casavir frowned. The woman really was not a hero. And it was likely she never would be. Thinking she had to do it all alone, thinking the world relied only on her, how could that be a trait to a true hero? But perhaps he could take her to his order for training. On every level. He could teach her how to fight, how to survive she could learn from Bishop if he was willing to teach her and Miss Andrea had a few magical tricks up her sleeves, but the proper behaviour a paladin also learned was something that none of them could teach while they slept in tents and had only little possibilities for etiquette.

“I can offer you a studentship in Cyrodiil, where my order has its headquarters. But that will require hard work from you and absolute loyalty to the order. They are capable to teach you about every weapon and fighting style that is common in Cyrodiil, Skyrim and some from the other provinces. They can teach you about magic of all schools and alchemy as well as smithing and of course all the skills a noblewoman would need.” Casavir said. “I offer you this because although your behaviour is… questionable, I understand that all of this is too much for you right now. Perhaps this can teach you to be more confident about your future and less carefree in the role you have taken over.”

 

Drea nudged Bishop slightly and pulled him away.

 

Ruru felt a slight sting. Not sure what for. Her heart just felt like there was a nasty spike sticking out of it right now. 

"To Cyrodiil...." she repeated, directing her words to no one. "How long will that take?"

 

“It is not a matter of time, my lady. This is no race where you have to be faster than the dragons. We do not even know if Alduin will return to Tamriel. But to answer your question: The journey alone will take over a month and the training will take several years.”

 

_ I'll be an old woman by the time I'm done!  _ Ruru said with her eyes, but she still nodded. "Then we better get on with it."

 

"If you wish to do this, my lady then know that I will lose face should you do such foolish things like hacking poor trees into pieces again. I will be made your mentor and anything you do will fall back on me. It is a custom to make both, student and mentor, give their best. So if you decide to back out you only can do so until the initiation. I tell you this now. Think on all of this while we return to Solitude and tell me your decision there.” 

He released her and stepped away, leaving Ruru to her own thoughts. He knew well that this still could be a mistake, but perhaps all the young woman needed was the right education. He had known novices like her but all of them had become respectable paladins.  With a frown he sat down by the fire and began to dish out the last of the soup for everyone. He could only hope this was not a complete waste.

 

Ruru returned to the camp as well, staying silent, and pondering. What Casavir offered was an opportunity to learn and become stronger. To learn how to fight and protect.  _ But he would be my teacher. Like the rift was not big enough already.  _ She laughed sarcastically on the inside.  _ This is why I should never fall in love with men at all. There's always something that makes things far too complicated.  _

She started to pack her things and went to saddle her horse. She still hadn't thought of a proper name for her. Gelda was too... ordinary. She patted the horse's neck few times before returning to the others. She had enough time to think things through. But if she was to become a paladin... a warrior with skills... she might need to give up on her career as a bard. Maybe. She glanced at her new lute. Could she still play even after all the training she would go through? What did the gods want her to sacrifice in order to gain something greater and meaningful?

 

The journey back to Solitude was accompanied by a heavy silence. Even Bishop barely said anything. But it was not because of Ruru, it was because of his past. It had been… almost twenty years. He had fled. What if he would see them again? What if they would catch him despite his skills and force him to kill people again? He didn’t want to return to Cyrodiil. It was warmer there and the paladin hardly would let him go free, but what if…

Drea looked at him from the side. “You look troubled.”

 

Bishop scoffed. "Mind your own business, babyface." Then he felt Karnwyr nuzzling his hand and he petted the wolf's head.

 

Drea turned her face back to the front. “Well, whatever it is, if you need advice you can just ask. I won’t tell if you don’t want me to.”

 

Bishop grinned on the inside. "Well, you could help me escape from the paladin."  _ And my family if we are to go to Cyrodiil. _

 

To his surprise Drea smirked. “Now why would I do this? It would deprive me of your company.”

 

Bishop laughed sarcastically. "My, my, do I hear infatuation in your voice, little girl?" he teased with a wolfish grin. "I didn't know you like beasts that much."

 

“That’s not infatuation, Bishop. It’s respect and a liking.” She said. “I like you. I enjoy being near you. That is not infatuation.”

 

Bishop scoffed, becoming grumpy again. He just couldn't understand it. Why did this woman say such stupid things? He wasn't respectable -far from it in fact - and not very likable either, considering he was a werewolf with lust for  _ her  _ blood.

"You're such an idiot", he grumbled. "Don't expect the same from me."

 

She pressed her lips together and walked a little faster so he would not see how hurt she was because of his words.

  
  


Back in Solitude, Ruru rode to the College, telling Casavir that she'd have the answer by the next day. She just needed some time alone. To think and prepare herself. She had tried hard to close off her heart from the feelings she harboured towards Casavir. Because if he was to become her mentor, having any feelings for him would only hinder her progress. And the paladin order would surely notice as well, and she didn't want to cause more trouble than what she already had. 

Everything was changing rapidly. And she considered just running to the nearest ship and travel back to High Rock to spend the rest of her days in Tamriel with her family. But that thought made her laugh sarcastically at herself.  _ I am a child still. Maybe it is better to take this offer, grow up and become someone who can be respected and immortalized in songs. _

With that thought, she re-packed her things, went to see the headmaster and told him she would leave and pursue the path what Casavir was offering to her.

Of course the headmaster understood, even though he seemed sad to see one of his favourite pupils go. Before Ruru would go to sleep, she wrote a letter to her family, and hurried to the courier office to sent it off. 

 

Meanwhile Drea and Bishop were housed in the temple. Drea went to Casavir to talk to him about what would happen to Bishop now. When Casavir once more said he would stay with them Drea asked if that offer extended to her as well. She wanted to stay with Bishop. She didn’t know why if she was honest. She had been in love many times before and it was nothing like that. But she clearly enjoyed being with Bishop. And with Karnwyr and even though Ruru had been so distant recently she still wanted to be friends with Ruru as well.

Casavir smiled at her. "I was hoping you would join us. Perhaps the masters of my order will even allow you to study there, too, but I cannot promise that someone will take you as their student.”

Drea nodded. “I understand. But we can at least ask, right?”

“Yes, Miss Andrea. That we can.”

 

Bishop frowned and grumbled angrily. "More paladins.... like tolerating Casavir isn't torture enough."

 

Drea suddenly spun around, ran up to Bishop and hugged him. “Awww. Don’t you worry. I will never be a paladin. I will only be me.”

 

Bishop squirmed free. Stupid woman... with nice curves... he grinned on the inside while glaring at her. "Don't do that, unless you want me to throw you into a wall." he snapped rudely. But Drea could see a slight curiosity in his eyes. Or maybe it was the light in the room playing tricks on her. Who could really say.

 

“What would you do that for?” Drea asked with a pout. “Do you not like hugs? To me hugs are the bestest thing in the world!” she declared with a childlike voice.

 

Bishop just kept glaring at her. Why on earth was she being so pushy all the time? If she wanted a good one night stand, sure, he'd deliver, but why all that affectionate bullshit? His whole life was lacking it in the first place. He didn't need it. Hugging Karnwyr was enough. He at least wouldn't stab him in the back like everyone else did.

"Whatever", Bishop snapped eventually as she stomped out of the room, because he was feeling slightly embarrassed... maybe even confused. He just didn't understand that woman.

 

Casavir gave Drea an encouraging smile. As much as she was naive, her compassion did not falter even when Bishop did not treat her like a man should treat a woman. Then he left her to herself, having to arrange a few more things in case Miss Rudia would take his offer. He also wanted to go to the chapel to pray for forgiveness for being so harsh on her. He knew his emotions had gotten the better of him when she had woken and was not concerned the slightest. She was not a soldier. And the few things he had taught her on the road hardly could have prepared her for the things in that ruin. If he was honest to himself he knew it was him who made the mistake. The mistake of not making sure she would fight with her head and not only her heart.

  
  


Rain tapped the window of Ruru's room when she woke early in the next morning. She didn't remember when exactly she had fallen asleep. The book she had read rested open on her lap. Today she would need to give an answer to Casavir. And even now she was unsure what to do.

She gently took the book and put it on her nightstand, stood up and headed to the bathroom for a quick bath. Once she was dry and dressed up, she left the College with her luggage. She had not thought about it much, but she knew she could not fight. What happened in the ruins was proof enough that she would only be a hindrance. Casavir was offering her a way to hone her skills. So that she could fight and protect those around her. 

She walked towards the temple in a slow pace. Anything to have a bit more time to think about it. Though she had already packed, and she was going to say yes. She would go to Cyrodiil. Become a warrior. Or a paladin. Who knew.

She stopped to glance at the city and its streets. There was a time when she had gotten lost in this place, but now she was able to navigate through it without getting lost. Many good memories resided in this city. Her first love being one of them. A man named Alec. A bard student like her. 

Though it had been an awkward relationship, she still remembered it fondly. But Alec had been that sort of man who had thought too much of himself. Because all the ladies seemed to swoon every time he opened his mouth. It had been annoying, and eventually Ruru had been the one breaking it up, telling him to go and chase skirts wherever he pleased.

Ruru continued her stroll. The rain was seeping into her clothes already. She took a mental note that she should buy a proper cloak before departure. 

At the temple she entered the main building and asked for Casavir. She was lead to a small room and given some tea to warm herself up.

 

Casavir joined her some time later. He smiled when greeting her.

“First of all I would like to apologize, my lady. I have been quite harsh on you and although you have been reckless it was still uncalled for.” He made a slight bow to her. “Can you forgive me?”

 

Ruru felt a bit embarrassed. "No. I mean, yes... I mean..." she stuttered as words got stuck in her throat because of her sudden flusteredness.

 

Casavir stepped forward as she stuttered and gave her a soft and gentle hug. If he had been asked what for he could not have said it himself, only that it felt right in that very moment.

 

Ruru froze in place when Casavir suddenly pulled her into a hug. Her heart skipped a beat and then it started to pound against her ribcage with such force she thought it would burst out any second. 

_ Out of reach...  _ she reminded herself before she carefully answered the gesture.  _ It's never to be.  _

"I should be the one apologizing", she said as she snuggled ever so slightly closer. "I acted foolish. I should have been more careful and fight with my head."

 

Casavir smiled. So she had thought about it. He released her and to his surprise he felt a short longing to deepen the hug or at least hold it a little longer. But he let her go. It would have been improper. He lead her back to her seat and sat down across her, now awaiting her decision.

 

Ruru tried not to look disappointed when Casavir released her. She knew well enough that paladins were not people who would let affections overtake their thoughts.  _ Out of reach.  _

She took a deep breath and sipped some of her tea before she opened her mouth to tell the decision. 

"I will go to Cyrodiil. I want to learn how to fight so that I can protect those who fight alongside me, as well as the world. I will try not to embarrass you, as my mentor, Ser Casavir."

As she spoke, she looked directly at him, showing that she was being serious about this. She hid her hesitation deep within herself and revealed her determination. She would go through this, she would excel. She would become someone worthy of songs for the future.

 

He smiled at her. “Very well then, Miss Rudia. I shall do my best not to disappoint you either.” With that he placed a gentle kiss on her hand. “If you are ready we can leave Solitude by morning, but should you need more time to say your farewells we can wait.”

 

Ruru blushed a bit. "No, I have already said my farewells to my friends in the College. And I sent out a letter to my family where I am going, should they wish to write or see me. I need to buy some supplies, however, but I should be ready come morning." 

 

Casavir nodded. “We shall stop in Whiterun then and make sure Bishop will not kill anyone before heading further. Oh, and Miss Andrea wishes to join us as well, so you will not have to worry of being lonely.”

 

Ruru drank her tea and placed the empty cup on the table. "So, we leave tomorrow morning. Might I stay here till then?"

 

“Of course, my lady. I shall arrange for a bed.” 

It was only a little later that Ruru left the temple to get her supplies. Drea joined her and for once they talked a little more freely. In the evening everyone went to bed early.

  
  


Ruru woke up early and stared at the unfamiliar ceiling for a moment before her brains functioned enough to tell her she was at the temple. Today she would leave. For a very long time. She hoped the world would hold on till she was done with her training. 

She stood up, got dressed and made one final check on her luggage. Everything was in place, and she was ready to go. But before she would leave, she decided to do something she hadn't done in weeks... or maybe months... 

She walked to the chapel and kneeled to pray in front of the shrines. It was awkward for her. She wasn't exactly a believer, but her mother had always told her to pay her respects to gods as often as possible. Sadly Ruru's often was once a year... if not even that. Maybe that's why her luck in love was so bad. She didn't pray to Mara, or any of the other gods either.

 

Casavir saw the woman kneel in one of the pews but he decided to leave her alone for her prayer. She would come once she was ready. He was long ready. The horses were saddled and Bishop and Miss Andrea already waited outside. He had been surprised on how well-behaved Bishop seemed to be when with the mage. In comparison to when she was not around, of course. 

 

Ruru stood up, lit a candle and placed it near Mara's shrine before she turned to walk outside. Of course she noticed Casavir, and the hug from yesterday flashed in her mind.  _ He felt so warm and gentle. And still out of reach. _ She thought to herself. She wanted to laugh ironically, but decided to keep her laughter inside.

 

The rain had let down during the night and now the morning mist dispersed while they mounted their horses and, in Drea’s and Bishop’s case, walked out of the city. Casavir had ensured to finish his business in Solitude and somehow word had gotten around that he left. So a lot of young and not so young women stood almost in ceremony, waving him goodbye. Some of them had already found food for rumour, pointing at Ruru and whispering.

 

Ruru ignored the pointing and whispering. She knew better, after all. Casavir was a nobleman, after all, a high ranking paladin, and she was... just a woman, raised on a farm, taught to take what was offered and not ask for more. Even if she had feelings for Casavir, they would never be together. And she had decided to try and suppress them. Emphasis on try, of course.

"I heard she's a bard", Ruru caught a whisper somewhere along the divided crowd of ladies.

"Oh, so a bard slithered her way to our dear Ser Casavir's heart?! What a disgrace!"

Ruru closed her ears from that exchange. She knew better. 

 

Drea laughed openly to it. “My, Ruru it seems you have drawn in the jealousy of these women. I bet they are jealous they can’t travel with Casavir.”

Mentioned Casavir looked at the brunette woman and was surprised she had called him by his first name. Of course it was custom amongst followers of the divines, but one used the title or profession along the name. He remembered having offered his name without the title to Miss Rudia, though. Perhaps she had told Miss Andrea about it and the young woman figured the same rule applied to her as well. He felt it was alright, given they were traveling together. And to be honest, he enjoyed both their company, the almost childlike Miss Andrea and the often ladylike Miss Rudia. But he felt she was so much more than that. With the proper education she might likely pass for a noble lady. She had repeatedly told him she was only a farmgirl, but to him such things did not matter. A good heart and trusting in the divines' wisdom was what made a soul truly noble.

 

Bishop looked grumpy. All these stupid nobles drooling at the prissy paladin made him want to vomit just to give them a piece of his mind.

Ruru glanced at Drea. "Like there's any reason to be jealous of me. Someone with a proper title will probably be presented to Casavir sooner or later. Even I know that, and I'm just a farmgirl."

Some surprised gasps were heard from the crowd of women and more whispers started to spread around. Ruru groaned on the inside.  _ These women really think I have any chances with Casavir?! He'll be my mentor! And I've seen plenty of drama that was caused from student-teacher relationships back in the college. _

 

“It is not the title that counts, my lady, but the heart beneath it.” Casavir said with a calm voice, but loud enough so some of the women around could hear him. He never had felt rumours like these benefit anyone. Of course as a paladin he had learned to not speak his mind at all times, but when it was necessary he also had learned to do so in a manner that would not fall back on the divines, his order or his house. 

“And I see good in yours, despite your inexperience.” This he said a little quieter, now riding right next to Ruru. “I am sure the order will allow you to learn with them and perhaps you might learn more than you now realize.” A warm smile lay in his eyes. 

 

Ruru gazed into Casavir's eyes, and was drowning in them before she could look away. His words made her heart soar before she was able to catch it.  _ Oh, poor foolish me! If I don't stop myself, I'll be head over heels for him before saturalia! _

"Then I shall do my best to not disappoint", she answered quietly. 


	12. Chapter 12

They rode for a long time. Casavir knew the politics in Skyrim well enough to get the safest route to Whiterun for them. As he had thought the war had gained more force during the past weeks. As if the dragons were not bad enough for Skyrim already. Even Bishop meant to avoid possible fights along the road and, much to Casavir’s surprise, worked together with them. He often scouted ahead and once Casavir stopped controlling him he even found safe places to sleep for them when there were no inns along their way. 

The full moons were coming closer once more and when they reached Whiterun Casavir inquired the vigilants there for a safe room to keep Bishop for the night. Of course Bishop felt angry and even more so when he saw the dungeon they meant to throw him in. It was old and moss grew in the corners while the hay in one of them was moist. 

“It’s only going to be for one night, Bishop." Casavir said, fully understanding why Bishop was upset. This was no place for a human being and Bishop was that. A human. Casavir had begun to change his opinion on the man when he had realized a couple of things. One of them was that Bishop never turned willingly. Not even in a fight. He relied completely on his skills as a man, although the beast within could easily have torn the bandits on the way to shreds. There also was the fact that no matter how rude Bishop was with everyone he seemed to, in his own crooked way, have taken a liking to Andrea. He had begun to teach the girl about survival and she in return had been a patient student. Casavir had begun to see why. Bishop did have great knowledge about survival and hunting. Even Casavir had learned a thing or two.

 

"Still one too much!" Bishop snapped. The cell reminded him of the one he had been kept in all those years ago. Well, actually, that one was worse than this. At least there was hay.

 

Drea turned up her nose at the place, too. 

“This is the only room there is to keep the werewolves in.” The vigilant said, obviously not caring much. They usually killed werewolves and only kept them alive to find out about their physicalities. 

“Then at least let us clean it out!” Drea demanded. She dreaded the thought of Bishop having to be imprisoned in a place like this. It was just wrong. 

 

Ruru was already turning up her sleeves. "Where's the well?" she questioned.

The vigilant looked a bit surprised. "But, this is a holding cell..."

"If our friend is to stay there overnight, let's at least make it civil! He's a human, just like you and me. Think how you would feel if you were caged like an animal?!" Ruru said in a way that clearly showed her spunkiness that she usually kept hidden underneath her well-behaved demeanor. 

The vigilant hurried and gave the keys to Casavir.

Bishop glanced at Ruru in wonder. He had never seen her defend him like that.

"Then let's begin", Ruru said. "Time is of the essence."

 

“I agree.” Casavir said. “I would suggest you let Bishop and me handle the water.”

“I’ll go ask for a broom and a brush!” Drea said and was gone before anyone could answer. 

Ruru started by collecting the moist hay from the floor. "These won't do at all! I'll see if I can find a mattress or something. Oh, and a blanket!"

Bishop was even more surprised, and this time he was unable to hide his wonder. These people really... were trying to help him? Even though Casavir had tried to kill him, even though that bard had sold him out... now they were trying to help and make his night a bit more comfortable in that dark cell.

 

They worked until it was already night. The moons would be full the day after and they wanted to get the cell clean until then. Drea used her magic to dry the cell out. Completely. Of course it would not take long for the moistness to return, but at least Bishop would have a dry cell.    
They slept at a tavern in warm and soft beds and for once Bishop did not feel on edge in a city. In fact he tried hard to remember a single time when he had felt that way near a city or town. He could not remember. 

 

The next day was sunny, warm and beautiful. Ruru and Drea talked about going to the marketplace to do some window shopping, and Bishop, although he felt silly about it, said that he wanted to come along. 

 

It was his first time to go to a market with someone and although he memed confidence he secretly wanted to come along mostly to see if he could learn something. During the short time they had travelled together he already had learned a lot and slowly figured out that all those years he had been paid way too little for his pelts and fish and wildberries. Those bastard traders had made a profit on him while he had to sleep in the cold. But Bishop was not so stupid now. Now he knew he could ask for more, but he still did not know how this went. Haggling. He had never realized he could do that. As he followed the women he tried to take note of the things they bought and the prices they paid. Being observant he quickly figured out that Ruru knew how to haggle. Drea seemed to pay more willingly or getting less for her clothes. “You should let the bard sell them.” he remarked.

 

Ruru looked ever so slightly smug. "As a bard I was trained in speech. Haggling is just how convincingly you can lower the price." she said, and then told few tips and tricks just so. "Drea, I wouldn't give the full price on that", she said warningly. "There's a small hole on the side."

 

Drea looked and saw the hole, too. She placed the cloth back and instead looked at another one. “Bishop, what’s your favourite colour?”

 

Bishop frowned. He didn't really care about such things. But if he had to say one color he liked... "The green of your eyes", he answered so quietly it was nearly inaudible.

 

“My… eyes?” Said eyes lit up when she repeated it and a really sweet smile drew over he usually stern face. Then she spun around to Ruru. “Ruru, what is the colour of my eyes?!”

 

Ruru gazed at Bishop, who had now spun around to occupying himself with some kind of child's trinket, before she looked back at Drea and said: "Like, hmm... greyish green, I suppose. Like a misty forest."

 

“Hmmm” Drea made, immediately comparing the different types of green cloth and looking at Ruru questioningly.

 

Ruru chuckled and helped her friend. "What exactly are you looking for?" she asked in a whisper so that Bishop couldn't hear.

 

“I want to make him some fitting clothes. When we make our way over the pass there will be snow. Likely. I know it is summer, but it’s in the mountains, soo… I just want Bishop to know we care about him. And he was being really nice lately, don’t you think?”

 

Ruru wanted to make a comment about taming a wild beast, but she let it slide and only smiled. "Yes, he's been... a bit nicer." she had to admit. "Hmm... let's see." Ruru hummed, pondering as she glanced at the spectrum of colors. She picked up some cloth that closely matched the color of Drea's eyes, along with some brown leather.

"Because your hair is brown and it really fits your eyes... I think this will be perfect", she explained. "I think Bishop would like it."

 

Drea wasn’t sure what her friend meant about her hair, but she agreed on the cloth. It really looked nice. Green was her favourite colour, too. Thinking for a little while she decided to also get some fur. She could easily use this cloth for a thick coat so Bishop could close it around his body completely. And then she could line the collar and sleeves with the fur. And the lower rim. But then brown… it just would not do. A dark grey perhaps… 

Ruru willingly helped her friend to not only find the right material for the clothes she wanted to make for Bishop, but also with the other materials. And she helped Drea getting a way,  _ way  _ better price for all of it in the end. 

 

Bishop came back to them, seeing they had finished their shopping spree. 

"What's that for?" he asked Drea with a mocking grin. "Planning to make some naughty underwear?"

Ruru chuckled. "Yeah, totally! So naughty even a man like you will get warm all over." she said with a sarcastic tone. 

 

“All warm!” Drea repeated in agreement, happy about all the things she now had stashed in her enchanted backpack. 

 

Bishop grinned. "Can't wait to see it. Now, how about we head for a meal in the tavern? I could really use a drink."

Not because his throat was sore, but because it would, hopefully, dull the beast's power a little. Wishful thinking, but still.

 

Drea nodded. “Yes. Let’s eat together. Casavir said we have to be at that… cell mid-afternoon. I hope they don’t want to put you in there right away.”

 

Bishop groaned. They had to remind him. "I'll just punch that paladin in the face if he tries."

Ruru rolled her eyes. Those two would never get along, not really. But at least Bishop barked more now than he bit. Which was a good sign, right?

They walked together to the tavern and occupied a quiet corner table. Ruru debated whether or not give those two some private time, but since she was in the group, she decided to stay with them. They both could tell her to leave if they wanted. 

They ordered some food, and Bishop ordered strong drinks for himself.

 

“You...really want to drink that much?” Drea stared at all the bottles. “You’ll get drunk if you drink all of that!”

 

"That's the idea, babyface", Bishop said as he uncorked the first bottle and emptied it. "It'll dull down the beast... at least I hope it will."

Ruru look concerned as well. "Drinking so heavily... it'll affect your body."

Bishop glared at her. "Don't patronize me, wench. Let a man drink if a man wants to drink. I'll stop if I'm ever released from this curse." With that said he emptied another bottle.

Ruru fell into pondering silence. She had read about the daedric lords... about Hircine and how he was the father of werewolves. She also read about some witches who had cursed some capable warriors in the past in their lust for more prowess and power. Or so the legend went. Maybe the paladin order would know more.

 

Drea looked concerned. “But you will be imprisoned, you don’t have to worry about your beast killing anyone.” She tried to convince Bishop. “And Ruru is right, all that alcohol can’t be good for you. You should enjoy such drinks, not abuse them.”

 

"Are you my mother? No... my mother would throw me into the fire and see if I would be set aflame from all the alcohol I have drunk." Bishop said coldly.

Ruru looked horrified.

 

Drea looked at Bishop sternly. “Karnwyr will be just as worried!”

 

Bishop rebelliously opened another bottle and drank half of its contents before putting it down. 

Ruru didn't know what to say. It was clear the man had an addiction to alcohol. Even if he drank once a month, the amount he drank so quickly was concerning. But she couldn't just take the bottles away. It wasn't her business.

 

What Ruru didn’t dare Drea did. She snatched the bottles and looked Bishop straight in the eyes. “No! Bad Bishop!” although there was a childlike undertone she was being serious, even Bishop could see that. “You don’t need that. If you drink all of that I will have to stay in the cage with you to make sure you won’t stop breathing.”

 

Bishop glared at Drea and tried to take the bottles back. "Those are my bottles, missy!" he demanded, seemingly irritated.

 

“You can have them back one at a time.” she said and swooped them into her backpack where they vanished in the depths.”

 

Bishop looked so angry his eyes flared. Ruru thought of a distraction, but before she could act, the waitress brought their food.

"I apologize for the wait", she said with a smile.

Bishop seemed to relax a bit, as he was wise enough to not cause a scene in front of strangers. 

 

They ate in silence. Bishop was of course grumpy, but while he ate he got thinking. They were right. They would keep him in that cage and he didn’t need to get the beast drunk. He had gotten so used to this that he hadn’t even really thought about it. And the hammering in his head each morning after… he could live without that.

 

After the meal they headed to the vigilant headquarters. Bishop was still grumpy, but the full edge of his anger was diminished to his usual pickering and sarcastic mocking. 

To Ruru's surprise Casavir had made some rose tea.  _ Oh gods, he'll spoil me! _

 

“Ah, you’re here.” Casavir was smiling. “I inquired for a bed to sleep for all of us with the vigilant’s leader. Although I will keep watch over Bishop tonight. It will be best to be careful still.”

 

Bishop scoffed. "Yay, sleepover with a paladin!"

Ruru sat down and poured some tea for herself. She wanted to express her concern, but at the same time she knew Casavir could handle it. Hopefully. Still she couldn't help but look at Casavir with utmost worry. She couldn't help it. She just.... felt too strongly.

 

“I will stay here, too!” Drea said. “Unless…” She looked at Bishop. “...you want me to leave.”

 

Bishop thought about it. If the beast really wanted Drea.... it would keep trying to get out to get to her.

"You... should leave when I'm in the cell", he said.

 

Drea nodded reluctantly. She wanted to stay, wanted for him to know he was not alone. But on the other hand the beast would smell them. Casavir might already be too much, but if they would all stay and he’d smell them it would only make him wilder. And more dangerous. 

“But until then… would you mind if I measure you? It is still time until the moons come out”

 

Bishop frowned from suspicion. "Measure? What are you, a vigilants spy?!"

 

“No. I meant to make you some clothes. For when we go over the pass.” she answered. “You’ll need something warm.”

 

Bishop looked still grumpy. "Don't patronize me. I can take care of myself."

Ruru sighed. "Let's not argue, alright?"

Bishop was still grumbling incoherently when he offered himself to be measured.

 

Drea made it quick. She knew exactly what measurements she needed and she knew Bishop didn’t like a fuss about him. Writing down the measured numbers she smiled. He’d be happy with his new clothes. After all he was constantly wearing the torn tunic she had made. No matter how grumpy he reacted, it was obvious he valued it. But it was simply not his size. She was just done when Casavir said it was time. She nodded and took the tunic Bishop handed her. 

“Keep it for me, alright, babyface?” He looked somewhat embarrassed, but he absolutely didn’t want for his treasure to get torn more. And like hell he would entrust the paladin with it.

 

The women left before he also took off his trousers and underwear so it would not tear when his body grew. He felt embarrassed to be naked in front of the paladin and the vigilants who all too much wanted to use the chance to study the beast.

 

Bishop entered the cage, and before the door was locked, Karnwyr leapt inside it as well. He nuzzled against Bishop and Bishop held his companion close. He hoped that this night would be an easy one. 

But he knew it wouldn't be like that. It was never like that.

 

The vigilants asked a ton of questions. Casavir eventually put an end to it when it became too personal, reminding them of the fact that Bishop had come here willingly and done nothing that made him less humane. Of course he left the past out. When Bishop’s beast had killed many people. “We should value this by not treating him like an animal.” he said. “Please refrain from forcing him to reveal anything personal.”

 

Bishop didn’t want to answer their stupid questions. Especially not those about how he got turned. He remembered it all too well. 

He had been a child, barely able to walk. His parents had been talking about ‘needing a wolf’ for a while by then. Bishop had not known what they meant by that, but he could see the older children stayed away from his parents. Not that there was much they could do. None of them. So he had done the same. But in the end it had been him. When his father had entered the room of the children on that fateful evening he had been the only one who was too slow to get into a hiding place. His father, the leader of the bandit fort, had grabbed him brutally and dragged him to a cage. Then his mother had given Bishop blood to drink. Of course Bishop had refused and even when they had hit and punched him he had thrown up from the disgusting taste. And then… the moon had come out. And Bishop had felt his body bursting. It had hurt so much. So much more than any of the beatings he had already gone through as a three-year old. That night he had not known what they had done to him. He had thought it was just another of those  _ fun _ things his parents did to keep the fort in check. To show everyone what they would have to get through if they displeased his parents. But then they had done this every moon. They had thrown him into a cage and the pain had started. Again and again. Until one morning he had woken up with a dead man in the cage. It was then that he understood why the other children avoided him. Because he had become a monster. And became one every night when the moons were full. 

 

He held Karnwyr a little closer, not really listening to the vigilants. He just wanted it to happen. He wanted it to be over. For another month. Then he could be with Drea again. He could put on her tunic and show her all the edible plants and those that helped healing wounds. He wanted to see her fascinated expression when he showed her how to tell what kind of tree gave good wood. And he wanted to hold her. But that could never happen. She could not know that she was getting under his skin. He was a monster. He could never protect her from himself.

 

Then he turned. The pain felt like he was torn apart. He never had gotten used to that. But it did not last for long. He was a beast before he knew it…

  
  


Drea could not sleep. Not while Bishop had to go through this. So instead of sleeping she began to work on the clothes for him. She had decided to get him a few clothes more so he could wash them more often. She liked him, but especially when he worked on the animals he had hunted he got dirty and very smelly. It would be best if he had some more. Ruru could not sleep either. She was worried for Casavir, although she did not admit it. She eventually had sat down next to her friend and they worked together. When the night slowly began to fade several pieces of underwear, a few simple tunics in natural colours, black trousers reinforced with rough black leather and a few pairs of socks lay on the unused bed. One of the tunics was made from the cloth the colour of Drea’s eyes. She would make a coat in black instead. The dark colours suited him.

Eventually Drea smiled, her eyes small from tiredness. Ruru had fallen asleep half an hour before sunrise, too tired to keep her eyes open. And now Drea, too, finally just fell asleep. No strange noises had been there. Everything was alright…

  
  


When Bishop woke up he was still in the cell. There were less vigilants and the paladin looked tired, but he was awake. Bishop was let out of the cage and given his trousers before they lead him to a bathroom. To his surprise the paladin joined him for this bath, not talking much, though. Once they were done Casavir gave him one of his shirts. “Use that until the ladies are awake. I can imagine they barely got any sleep from worry and we should let them rest for now. We can leave tomorrow.”

Bishop didn’t like the idea of wearing something that belonged to the paladin. In fact he hated it. But then again he also wanted for her to sleep. Just as long as she was safe it was good. As long as his beast didn’t get her. 

  
  


Ruru woke up sometime in the afternoon, and was immediately feeling the annoying pain that let her know it was  _ that  _ time of the month again. She groaned from pain as she stood up, holding her belly as it felt like ice spike were being driven through it over and over again. She dug through her luggage and found the little, neatly packed pouch and a vial of liquid, and then she headed to the kitchens where she asked for some hot water. 

She hated this part of being a woman. She was always in pain. Thankfully the nice apothecary had sold her herbal mixture to dull the pain and easy the flow a little. It wasn't all that bad now. However, she felt the need to wash herself thoroughly. 

After she had taken the mixture, she headed to the bath. 

 

Drea woke as Ruru closed the door. She sat up and looked around. Her first thought was if Bishop was alright and so she got up and grabbed the clothes to look for him.

 

Bishop wasn't too far. Actually, he was sort of looking for Drea, too, though he didn't admit it. Karnwyr barked to announce he had found her and jogged to the woman to ask for pets. Bishop stopped in a small distance away, folding his arms and just staring at the woman. Though he had a frown on his face, there was relief in his eyes. She was there. She was alright.

 

Drea lay the clothes down and petted the wolf. “Awww. Did you miss me, Karnwyr?” She stroked his belly. “Who is the snuggliest wolf of Skyrim?”

 

Karnwyr just offered his belly to be rubbed and he licked Drea's hand with a playful look on his face. Bishop scoffed. 

"Don't spoil him! He's not a lapdog!" 

Was he jealous? Maybe. But he wouldn't admit it if someone would have asked.

 

“But he likes it when I pet him.” Drea said. Then she looked up. “Are you alright? Is that… one of Casavir’s shirts?”

 

Bishop looked grumpy. "Don't think I enjoy wearing it. The tunic you made me is being washed."

 

“You could put on one of these.” She picked the clothes back up and came over to him. “They are all yours. That way you can always wear fresh clothes and won’t get cold or have to borrow Casavir’s clothes.”

 

Bishop glanced at the pile she presented to him. All that? Everything? Just for him? And it wasn't his birthday even. Though he didn't really know when his birthday exactly was. It was never really celebrated, and he didn't really care either. 

He frowned from slight suspicion. Did she expect something in return? What would she want from him, exactly?

"What's the catch?" he asked rudely as he snatched the pile of clothes from her.

 

“Don’t you think there were enough catches for you already?” She asked in return. “I don’t need anything from you that you don’t want to give. I made those with Ruru. So you can stay warm. And happy.”

 

Bishop averted his gaze awkwardly. The way Drea said that made his heart jump a bit. In a good, warm way. In a way that made him realize how slowly but surely that woman was getting under his skin. And the bard wench had helped... the wench that had sold him out. Why...? Why would she...?

His mouth drew into a smile that made his canines flash. Bishop looked around as if to make sure the coast was clear. Then he stepped closer to the woman, wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close, so that his lips touched her forehead.

"You silly woman", he whispered mockingly, but there was warmth in his words. Bishop released Drea before he would do something... more... something... that he didn't want to do... and yet he yearned for it.

"I'll go get changed then", he said as he turned on his heels.

 

Drea had to lean against the wall for a moment. His affection had come so sudden and it had swept her off her feet. She smiled when she began to pet Karnwyr again. “I think he likes it, right Karnwyr?”

 

The wolf tilted his head and then carefully jumped against Drea, placing his front paws against her shoulders and barking excitedly with a wagging tail.

 

“Are you happy, too? I am happy. And I’m excited to go back to Cyrodiil. Have you been there?” Of course the wolf did not understand her, but she wondered… How long had Bishop and Karnwyr been together?

 

Karnwyr just nuzzled the woman before he hurried after Bishop.

 

Drea waited. She was curious on how the clothes would look on him and even more if he liked them.

 

After several minutes Bishop returned with Karnwyr. He was wearing black trousers, a green tunic, a belt with a proper sheathe for his knife (if he had known it was by Ruru's hand, he'd probably change his opinion about her), and long leather boots, and of course he had put on underwear as well. The front of the tunic was slightly open, revealing some of that stout, manly chest.

Karnwyr, of course, followed his alpha, and he hurried to Drea to get some more pets.

Bishop glanced around awkwardly. He had never gotten anything like this. So well made and it fit perfectly, and the cloth felt nice and warm. And he had no words to thank Drea with. If he had opened his mouth, there would have only been rude remarks coming out of his throat.

 

“You should close the buttons.” Drea said and stepped to him to do it. “You’ll get sick if you don’t dress warm. At least that is what my mother used to say.” She chuckled. “But it certainly can’t be wrong. There you go.”

 

Bishop stood still and let the woman button his shirt all the way. He watched her as she was so close to him. Close enough for him to just... take her in his arms and hold her. 

But no, he shouldn't. Not with the beast blood running rampant in his veins. If he'd taste her more... the beast would come for her. And the beast would consume her. And that would be the death of him.

"Like you have any obligations to treat me like a kid!" he said aversely.

 

She smirked. “If it makes you hug me more I’ll do it.” 

 

Bishop's cheeks flared and he looked a bit flustered. Realizing this, he quickly turned on his heels and marched forward to any possible direction. "Is there anything to eat here..." he mumbled.

 

Drea smiled. “Let’s go find something. Or we could go down the road to that bakery. It smelled so nice there yesterday.”

 

"Or I could go hunt with Karnwyr and make roasted meat..." Bishop mumbled again, hiding his face from the woman.  _ Damn her and her cuteness!  _

 

“Awww, come on! Let’s go to the bakery…” she begged. “You’ll love it, I promise!”

 

Bishop glanced at the woman, seeing her staring at him with big puppy eyes. Like Karnwyr. He groaned. It was too hard to refuse. 

"Alright."

 

“Yaay!” she cheered. “Let me just get a quick wash and some clean clothes!” 

She got back a few minutes later, wearing a nice common dress. “We could also get some of those breads and treats for our journey, if you like.”

 

Bishop grumbled, but he sounded more agreeing than disapproving. Karnwyr barked excitedly and jogged ahead of them.

 

The day was as sunny as the one before. Drea babbled a lot of things while Bishop just walked by her side, listening to her. He realized once more how different her life had been from his. A home and loving parents and she knew a lot of things, too. 

 

Bishop envied her. She had had what he had lacked his whole life. But even so, hearing her stories about her home and how she grew up made Bishop think if he could have something like that... one day. One way or another. Probably not. Not while the beast lingered in him.

 

“You know, If you want we could visit my home. But you’d have to promise to behave.” she said. 

 

Bishop felt another tug in his heart, and he glanced at the woman at his side. "I don't give promises I may not be able to keep, babyface." he snapped. But then he faced another assault of her puppy eyes. Bishop frowned, scoffed, tried to resist in vain. "Well, I can try, but if I screw up, don't blame me. I am what I am. If you want manners, ask that prissy paladin!"

 

“Manners aren’t prissy, Bishop. Everyone should try and be good. I know by now that you didn’t have a nice upbringing, but you can still learn. Like you taught yourself how to survive alone. You can learn how to survive with people around you. People who  _ do _ care about you. Like I do.” Her voice was calm, but he heard determination, too.

 

Bishop revealed a crooked smile. The kind that made his eyes gleam in a playful way. He looked awkward... and hesitant. He wasn't very good with this sort of thing. This woman just kept digging further and further inside his armor he had build up around him, as a solid rock, and this woman just pierced right through it with.... everything she was. He hated it... and he liked it. 

He stopped and suddenly pulled Drea against him, holding onto her like he was drowning. But the truth was he didn't want her to see his silly, happy smile he had on right now. To ensure she wouldn't see it, he placed his hand on the back of her head and carefully pressed her face against his chest, so that he was able to feel her warm, now quickening breath.

 

Drea felt his arms surround her and she happily let him hold her close. She in return embraced him. They held each other for a long time, probably minutes before Bishop carefully removed himself. 

 

Without a word Bishop continued walking, keeping his face as stoic as possible, even though there was a storm of... silly, warm feelings inside him. 

 

They reached the bakery and a warm delicious smell embraced them. There was bread and cake and little treats - honey-nut-treats and boiled cream tarts and all kinds of delicious goods. Drea almost drooled.

 

Bishop stared at all the delicious looking things. Not even in his wildest dreams would he have thought to have a bite on one of these.

The shopkeeper was an elderly lady with a young assistant. She emerged from the backroom, swiping her hands off the flour.

"Hello, little lovers. What will it be? We just finished a batch of bread and cinnamon rolls."

 

“Well...” Drea looked at all the deliciousness. “We’ll look around first, if that’s alright.” She smiled and then turned to Bishop to see if he already eyed something.

 

Bishop had eyed around... and he tried hard not to stare at the delicious looking little treats with honey and nuts in them. He wasn't into sweet things, but just this once... 

"Maybe bread", he mumbled. 

 

Drea realized it was hard to decide between all these good things when he likely never had the choice. So she began to think aloud. “We should take a lot of stuff that lasts, and some that we can take along for Ruru and Casavir. How about you choose and I add anything we might need, too?”

 

Bishop frowned slightly. "If it was up to me, I'd have one of each just for myself... But whatever. So... uh... bread, and..." he stared at the honey treats. "One of those... no... four. I don't know if that we-- bard likes it or not. Oh... got something that goes along with rose tea?"

He remembered both the paladin and Ruru liked the said tea. Maybe there would be some good treats to go along with it.

The shopkeeper thought for awhile. "Rose tea is often mild and soft... so maybe something with spunk and hardness?"

Bishop snorted at the last word.

 

“How about that sweet and soft bread?” Drea pointed. “And I think some of the nut treats would be good. Perhaps we really should get a bit of each…” Drea thought for a moment and then smiled. “How much of ‘each’ can you give us for this?” She pulled out her coin purse and got out two smaller coin bags.

 

The baker just smiled. "Well.... let's see..." she took the bags and quickly counted the coins before calling for her assistant, a young woman with flour in her hair.

"Help me pack", the elderly woman said as she started to run past the shelves and take loaves of bread and other treats into her arms. "Since you're a generous customer, I'll throw in some extra treats."

 

Bishop watched in excitement as the older woman packed the things. He saw her packing some in with more care so they would not break or get squished. Was it really alright to get so many good things? Perhaps she wanted to spoil him? But then again… he would not mind getting spoiled. It was the first time in his life and maybe, just maybe it was alright to just enjoy it. To not worry about a thing because she was there and she would not let him starve. The thought brought a warm feeling to him.

 

Once everything was packed, Bishop took the bags and carried them for Drea. He couldn't wait to have a bite. 

 

They went back right away. Ruru and Casavir sat together, discussing a few things Ruru should know about the Order of the Oak and both looked up when Bishop carefully placed the bags in front of them. Drea could not help but chuckle as he sat down and eyed them impatiently. “Care to join us for some treats from the bakery?”

 

Ruru looked excited. "Treats?" Her now gleaming eyes glanced over at the bags and carefully reached inside.

 

“Hey!” Bishop exclaimed and pulled her away. 

Casavir looked at them with his usual stoic expression. “Those are for the travel, too I assume?”

“Yes.” Drea replied. “But we got a lot of treats, too because Bishop never had some, I figured.”

 

Ruru looked sad. "I only wanted to look...."

"Yeah, and eat when no one was watching!" Bishop exclaimed, acting almost protectively towards all the yummy things he'd never had in his life.

 

Drea began to unpack everything, showing the others what they had gotten, so everyone knew how much exactly it was. Casavir laughed innerly once he saw how much of it was treats. He figured that Miss Andrea liked them and given by how big Miss Ruru’s eyes got she liked them no less.

 

Bishop was drooling over all of it. Ruru, too, was sparing no hungry looks. 

"We should drink some tea and have a taste!" she said excitedly. She glanced at Casavir. "Do you like treats, Casavir?"

 

Casavir smiled. “I do.” He decided to not tell her right now that a paladin had to show restraint. He could sense that it was a good time for everyone to just relax and enjoy some peace together. Especially since Bishop intended to share. Unpacking two more cups from his pack he poured tea for Bishop and Drea.

 

Ruru was surprised to hear this. "And here I thought paladins were all... you know... not exactly enjoying the little pleasures in life."

Bishop snorted again. "The only pleasure Casavir will never enjoy is being with a woman."

 

“You are both wrong.” Casavir said calmly. 

 

There was a slight glimpse of hope in Ruru's eyes... and Bishop showed sarcastic mocking in his. 

"So, which priestess did you fuck?" Bishop questioned. "The cute nord with big boobs?"

Ruru rolled her eyes. Bishop was clearly trying to get on Casavir's nerves.

 

“Bishop!” Drea cut the rude man short. “We all know you don’t like Casavir, but you don’t have to be rude and embarrass all of us. If you want any of these you will be nice, or at the very least not hurt Casavir.”

 

Ruru nodded firmly, agreeing to Drea's words.

 

Casavir spoke before the silence became too heavy. “A paladin is just as able to find love as any other person. Many choose to dedicate their lives to the gods though, which is why many people believe we do not marry or show compassion beyond the work as paladins. As for treats and anything a person can like we have to show restraint. We suggest to people to do the same, as a life in luxury can spoil the soul and make one blind for the needs of others. But of course we are allowed to restrain ourselves as we see fit.”

 

In Ruru's heart those words brought hope. That maybe... just maybe...  _ No... he's going to be my mentor. Students don't marry their teachers... especially not those of noble birth!  _ She quickly hid her disappointed by drinking tea.  _ Like I had any chances to begin with.  _

 

Drea placed treats on everyone’s plate. Then she sat down to listen to Casavir who told them about being a paladin. Bishop kept quiet, but only because he secretly feared Drea really might take the cake away if he mocked the paladin more.

 

Ruru listened as she pondered upon Casavir's words and information about the paladins. Though the things she had read about them mostly still held true, they were more free to choose their course of life than back in the past.  _ Am I going to become a paladin eventually? Do I need to take vows I may not be able to keep? Promises, yes, secrets, no problem. Vows are just... too absolute and restrictive. And I could never give up on eating treats and enjoy a goblet of wine every now and then. _

 

Drea was almost as quiet as Bishop, only showing she was listening with a few  _ hm _ s and  _ I see _ s. She enjoyed the tasty cake and even more enjoyed the peace that somehow spread amongst them. Then Casavir lead the conversation in another direction. 

“Bishop, I was thinking on the situation with you for some time now. Given that we will leave for Cyrodiil and take you with us… Have you ever thought of what you want to do past this?”

 

Bishop had a thoughtful frown on his face. "I want to look for a cure. Even if there is none, but..."

Ruru chimed in. "I have been reading about the legends surrounding the werewolves. Apparently the curse came from Hircine, the daedric prince of Hunt. According to one legend a group of witches cursed a band of capable warriors who wished to be more powerful. And as I have learned from my mother, everything has an opposite. Curses have their anti curses, poisons have their antidotes... everything has a pair. It's a matter of discovering it."

"Legends don't help much, wench!" Bishop snarled. 

"But it's still worth looking at", Ruru said with determination. "When there's a will, there's a way! Besides, maybe the paladin Order has more information than what the College library held."

 

“I am afraid if there were hints on a cure in the order’s library we’d long have found it. But I think it can not harm to look into it. Once we arrive I shall inquire for allowing you access to the library.” Casavir said. 

Bishop made a pokerface.

Drea noticed it. “Can you… even read, Bishop?”

 

Bishop hid his embarrassment behind the rim of his cup of tea.

 

“Hm.” Casavir made. “That would be a problem, then.”

 

“Can’t we teach Bishop?” Drea asked. “If you want that is…” She looked at him carefully.

 

Bishop was astonished, but he hid this sensation well. They would be willing to go that far? To teach him something like that? He didn't really know what to say.

"I guess..." he finally agreed.

 

Casavir nodded somewhat reluctantly. He himself could not do it, there would be too many things to do already. But he could see Drea was more than willing to help Bishop. Surely the order could provide some help. 

 

"I could help, as well", Ruru offered. "That is, if you.... allow me to."

Bishop glanced at Ruru and smirked. "Nah. I have all the things I need right here", he placed his arm around Drea and pulled her close to him.

Ruru chuckled and poured some more tea and took another piece of cake. 

 

Drea was surprised by Bishop’s sudden openness. “Are you…” she started, but then she just shut up and smiled. 

 

Bishop stared into Drea's eyes briefly, then he took his arm off, looking slightly flustered... or maybe it was because of the warmness of the tea. However, even when he returned to his original position, Drea could see a hint of a smile on his face. It was enough to let her know that he was content.


	13. Chapter 13

They spent the night at the vigilant’s headquarters and left the next morning. Bishop wore his new clothes with pride. He glanced around if anyone looked at him differently now and indeed people had different reactions when they saw him. They didn’t avoid him. Did clothes mean so much? Well, he didn’t care. All he needed to know was that Drea cared. Even when he had worn nothing or a dirty and ripped tunic. He didn’t need those pretenders, only her. With a confident expression he walked next to her, making sure no-one got in her way.

 

Ruru made a quick visit to the apothecary before going to the stables to get the horses. Ruru thought riding on the horseback while having her  _ days _ would be a bad idea, so she decided to walk instead and keep Gelda's reins in her hand, letting the horse walk next to her.

 

They headed for Riverwood next. Casavir, too, walked, because they had packed the horses full of supplies. With Helgen destroyed there would be little chance to get supplies there. The survivors had a hard enough time and Casavir had made sure that they had enough food until they got to Cyrodiil. It was possible that Riverwood, too, had troubles delivering food or other supplies as it was the closest town to Helgen. Bishop, though was not troubled by that. “I can hunt if we run low, I won’t let you starve… not Drea anyways.”

 

Ruru walked in silence, and returned to that horrible day in her thoughts. And thinking about it made her eyes gleam from tears, as she thought of her precious Milka. To seek some comfort she gently wrapped an arm around Gelda's neck and softly patted the horse, only to get nudged. She chuckled. 

"I can't ride you right now", she muttered.

 

Casavir had noticed just as much as Ruru that Bishop was notably friendlier. He avoided calling them names and even when he said rude things he often glanced to Drea now. Casavir had not anticipated a change like this. The brunette seemed to have a great impact on Bishop, and it got him thinking. Perhaps it was true that even wild beasts had feelings and deserved their place in the world. Stendarr was the god of mercy as much as the god of righteousness. Of course Casavir had found it hard on times to follow both of these virtues before, but right now there was a new question on his mind. Was it better to let a werewolf live his life with other humans? Now that he knew a werewolf personally he could see that it was not all of the person that became a monster. Bishop behaved like a man at all times. One that had not found a place in society, but that even more proved the point: He was more human than beast. And it did not take a woman like Drea to see that Bishop rather wanted to be a human than a beast.

Thinking on this he smiled slightly. Perhaps the order could help Bishop living a normal life. The dungeons there were strong and if Bishop was willing to stay in a cage for one night a month and help the order it was likely he could be free again. As free as a werewolf could be allowed to.

 

A group of men dressed in tattered imperial leather armors approached along the road. Bishop automatically stepped in front of Drea once he noticed them. 

"Here comes trouble", he said in a low voice. "Those are no soldiers."

 

Casavir knew better than to judge by mere appearance, but he agreed with Bishop. These men did not look like soldiers. He hailed the men, but prepared for battle.

 

Ruru stopped walking and grabbed the handle of her dagger resting at the back of her hip and eyed the approaching men.

The men stopped, and began their sorry excuse for begging. 

"Please, ser, a coin for veterans coming from the war." one of them pleaded while the others tried to look as injured and weak as possible. Bishop didn't fall for that.

"You seemed fine just a second ago", the ranger remarked with a frown.

 

“Veterans?” Casavir asked, deciding to let the false  _ veterans _ run into a dead end with their lies.

 

"Of the Great War, ser", the leader answered. 

"Yeah, sure", Bishop scoffed. 

 

“You hardly are veterans from the great war.” Casavir said. He knew the soldiers back then had different armour and given that  _ all _ of them wore the new armours, if worn down, they either were deserters or worse, had robbed the army or soldiers. “Tell us what squad you belong to.”

 

The men drew their weapons before Casavir was able to finish. Ruru shot a fireball at the blade that was going to hit the man she secretly harboured feelings for to get an extra second.

Karnwyr growled and positioned himself between the evil men and his alpha. Bishop nocked an arrow and took aim.

"Scare them off or kill?"

 

Casavir reflected the blade effortlessly. He swung his sword upwards and with a hard kick he made the man land on his arse. “Lower your weapons or face the consequences.” He said with a hard, but collected voice.

 

The men soon realized they had messed with the wrong people and lowered their weapons without further trouble. Bishop put his arrow back into the quiver, but didn't relax. He just glared at the highwaymen and shielded Drea... if any of them was stupid enough to try and attack her that was.

 

Casavir tied the men up and they escorted them to Riverwood. Too bad. He had hoped to get more serious with Miss Rudia’s training. But it seemed that had to wait. 

 

"What a waste of time", Bishop muttered.

"At least we avoided needless bloodshed", Ruru said.

 

The next day Casavir exited the prison of Riverwood and joined the group again. They decided to spend the night, as it would be the last chance for a warm fire and a soft bed in a while. Ruru had already secured them some beds in exchange for performing at one of the local inns. Casavir sat down with Drea and Bishop, looking at Ruru. She was indeed talented with the lute. And given how the patrons went along and sang and raised their mugs it was not only his own judgement of her skills. Casavir raised his own tankard the serving maiden brought and cheered for her. 

 

Ruru played her favourite heroic songs to lift the spirits of the patrons. She glanced at Casavir, seeing him raise his tankard to cheer her on brought a blush on her cheeks. Her song flowed to a love ballad without her noticing, because she gazed sheepishly at her knight. 

_ Out of reach. _ she reminded herself for gods know how many times already. She stopped her sappy song and continued with a more cheerful one. Heroic notes filled the room again and many patrons joined to the song.

 

After a while, and a few ale, even Bishop began to join in on the merriment. He felt surprised himself, but slightly slurry and with Karnwyr and Drea by his side he felt he didn’t have to hide how much he was enjoying himself. His life was changing and for the first time ever he felt it was alright.

  
  


The next day they continued their journey. Riverwood was left behind and for the rest of the day there was wilderness as far as the eye could see.

 

Casavir enjoyed the silence that was for now. He felt at peace, and with slight surprise he realized it was not only being away from the city or that he would see home again if things went well, but also it was because of the people he travelled with. Sure, they were a chaotic bunch and of course Bishop still steered up trouble when he felt offended, but all in all there was something light and hearty about it. 

As it got late they rested on a hill. In the distance they could see Lake Ilinalta. Bishop willingly prepared the fire while Casavir took care of the horses and the women cooked something. His eyes wandered over to them. The last light fell on their heads and he recognized how Rudia’s hair gleamed slightly golden in the light.  _ She should wear it open more often. _ he thought, without noticing he felt attracted. 

 

Ruru chopped some vegetables and added them to the pot while Bishop still looked around for wild herbs to use. Eventually he returned with a bundle, and showed both women how to use them. The bard's eyes wandered over to Casavir, meeting his gaze briefly before she sheepishly looked down. Why was the paladin's gaze so intense? She automatically glanced to her side, scanning the area for anything that would have caused Casavir to have such a sharp look, but she soon noticed there was nothing for the knight to stare at with such... magnitude. Unless....

Ruru gazed at the knight once more with a slight question in hers.

 

Casavir just smiled and turned back to his task. 

He joined them when dinner was almost ready. 

 

Ruru was boiling some water for tea, Bishop wrestled with Karnwyr, who seemed happy to be out in the wilds and Drea just watched them. “Huuuuungry.” she complained.

 

Ruru lifted the lid of the pot and mixed the stew a few times. "I think it's ready." she said.

 

They ate. Drea began to tell random stories from her life and soon Ruru joined in. Bishop held back. Not really because he had to keep it secret, but he was worried it could be wrong to tell about all the bad things. Or his failures. 

 

Ruru chuckled, and told about her childhood in the little farm. And the neighbour's garden she often snuck in to steal an apple or something. 

"What a thief!" Bishop explained.

"Yeah, well, that time the branch decided to give in and I fell five feet to the ground! I had this major bruise on my bottom for weeks! And I told my mother our horse had kicked me."

Bishop laughed. "Served you right!"

 

“Mean!” Drea exclaimed. “The poor horse!”

Casavir laughed, though. Then he began to share a story of his novicehood. “When I was merely a novice, well I suppose it has been a good ten to fifteen years, but we often snuck out of the quarters and went to drink in a hidden place by the walls.”

 

Ruru looked intrigued. It was rare to hear Casavir talk about his youth. 

Bishop was grinning. "I bet that swill made your brain die slowly for the next couple of days."

 

“Not really. We all well knew what it would have meant to get back utterly wasted. And to be honest, although we never got caught nowadays I have the feeling our instructors knew well where we were and simply chose to let us find our own lessons.” Casavir said. “After all it was with such that we learned to restrain ourselves, seeing the greater picture.”

 

Bishop scoffed. But Ruru's expression showed nothing but pure admiration. Her eyes were big and gleamy like a cat's, and she was practically purring.

"Learn from your mistakes, my mother used to say to me when I was but a wee little Rudia."

 

“Oh, it was hardly a mistake.” Casavir said with a smile. “It was something a healthy man, or woman, should do. Back then it did not only teach us self-control, but also formed friendships and trust. And of course it can never be wrong to know your limits regarding drinks. You never know when someone is in need and being drunk at a time like this can cause great trouble.”

 

Ruru's expression intensified.  _ He's so... wise... and calm and dreamy and... out of reach. _ With the last bit of thought she stared at down her hands and sighed. 

"Wise lessons to learn", she said aloud. 

 

Of course Casavir had noticed the young woman’s gazes. He felt troubled by it, but there was not much he could do. She was young and a woman, no less. They often fell in love and dreamed with open eyes. It was only natural that women more often than men were compassionate and warm-hearted. Amongst paladins women more often than men chose Mara as their patron god. Casavir only hoped that her feelings for him would not cause her pain in the long run.

  
  


The journey continued the next day. Heavy rain clouds loomed over their heads, and everyone had prepared for rain by putting on hooded cloaks. 

 

Drea had not finished Bishop’s new coat yet, but it was getting along. Bishop didn’t mind it. He felt warmer than he had before with the new clothes. 

With each day that passed Bishop watched Drea work on the coat until it was done. He still could not say how it made him feel to have her by his side, how thankful he was for all the things she did for him, so instead he just hugged her tightly when the paladin and the bard didn’t watch and secretly thought of a plan to make it up to her. He knew he didn’t have to, but he wanted. He wanted her to have the same warm and tingly feeling in her chest.

 

So every evening at campfire or inside an inn, Bishop would sit down with a piece of wood in his hand and carve it carefully. If curious questions were asked, he ignored them, saying it was just something to keep him occupied. 

Ruru and Casavir trained as often as possible along the way.

 

On one of such evenings while Ruru got another beating from Casavir Drea sat down next to Bishop and nudged him gently with a smile on her face. 

 

Bishop gazed away from his carving and glanced at Drea with a question. "What's up, babyface?" he teased with a wolfish grin.

 

“I don’t know.” she answered. “You?”

 

Bishop returned his gaze to the carving and gently chipped away the wood with his knife to round a shape of an arch of an animal's back. "Does that mean you're thinking of me?" he asked as he carefully shaped a tail.

 

“Always.” she said with a smile that showed she was being serious now.

 

Bishop glanced at her from the side before he placed his hunting knife and the carving away. A quick glance to the direction of the paladin and the bard told him they were too occupied to care. Then his lips conquered Drea's in a passionate manner, softly and carefully tasting her.

 

Her eyes shot wide open in surprise, but then she closed them, allowing him to hold her. She didn’t break the connection between them as she shuffled a little closer to wrap her arms around him.

 

Bishop felt awkward. He had kissed women before, but never like this. It felt so different from the wild and passionate kissing when he had done  _ it  _ with a whore. Drea was different. In so many ways. And the feeling to hold her like this... Suddenly he felt so much more aware of himself. Was he too gentle? Too careful? Should he have drank more water? His lips felt dry and hard compared to hers. She probably felt uncomfortable with him now. But she closed her eyes and came closer. So he carefully did the same. After a small while she stopped the kiss and leaned against his chest. He kept holding her right there, feeling stupidly happy. Because whatever it meant that she kissed him back, it felt like the world began to shine. 

 

“I…” she began  “... finished your coat. Do you want to try it on?”

 

Bishop averted his eyes, feeling his cheeks turn crimson. "Yeah... sure..."

 

She got up and went to get the coat. As he tried it on the fit was perfect. 

 

Bishop had to admit that the woman was good with the needle and thread. "So, how do I look? Ridiculous, I bet." he mocked with a warm smile.

 

“Well… now that you say it… I regret making you a fitting coat…. Now there’s no space left for me.” She smirked.

 

Bishop chuckled - the sound of his own laughter made him feel weird. He rarely laughed, but now he was laughing. Because this woman was being so silly. 

"We could remedy that, I'm sure", he flirted without realizing it and sat back down, taking off the coat and placing it beside him before continuing the carving.

 

“Sooo… do you like it?” She sat down again.

 

"I don't like it", he replied. "I love it."

 

It puzzled her how excited he looked. She smiled widely.

“That’s a surprisingly strong emotion for someone as grumpy as you.”

 

Bishop had a smirk on his face. The kind that had a wild and passionate feeling to it. He then concentrated on the carving. He elaborated some details on the animals he was making out of it. Drea soon realized that he was carving a wolf and a bunny facing each other and touching their noses together, as if kissing or greeting each other in peaceful manner. Bishop carefully carved details on the wolf and the little bunny, shaping ears, legs, the arches of their back, adding eyes and lines to texture fur on them. It was surprisingly life-like, even if it wasn't quite done yet.

 

“How did you learn how to carve?” Drea asked curiously as she watched his hands moving with care and precision.

 

Bishop stopped for a moment and lifted the carving to the height of his eyes. He turned it around, checked for any places that needed more work before he continued.

"I met this... old man a few years ago. A wood elf. He showed me how to do this. Though I'm not as good as he was. His carvings looked like they were about to jump on you."

He spoke quietly, his eyes looked distant, as if he was living the memory. 

 

“What became of him?” Drea asked, having a smile on her face as she heard Bishop had not always been alone.

 

"He went to his home to die, like all wood elves do when their years are coming to an end. We had a good few months together. Oh, and in case you're wondering, he always slept high up in a tree, so my beast could not get to him. He was surprisingly calm about it too." he told her, and then he chuckled. "He teased me a lot the next morning, saying that good thing wolves are too stupid to climb trees."

 

“Oh? You can’t climb trees?” 

That surprised her. After all his arms became longer and stronger and with those claws he possibly would have a good grip. 

“Nah, you’re pulling my leg, why would a beast with arms no be able to climb trees?”

 

Bishop shrugged. "I guess the old man was right. My beast is too stupid to climb trees."

 

She giggled girlishly. “Were you drunk?”

 

The ranger nodded. "Yeah, when I could afford the mead."

 

She went serious again. “You know… now you don’t have to do that anymore. You got us now. We’ll keep you safe.”

 

Bishop was quiet and he continued to carve. The only answer Drea saw him give was a slight mutter under his breath.

 

“They are a cute couple.”

 

Bishop smiled now. Genuinely. Even his eyes sparkled. But the smile disappeared almost as soon as it came. His thoughts turned to darker things. About his fear that one day he'd wake up, seeing Drea all torn up.... His hands stopped and he raised the carving again to check any spots that needed more work.

 

“Do you think the bunny is afraid of the wolf?” she asked, looking at the figurine. “It looks really curious.”

 

Bishop continued to carve, adding more details on the bunny this time.

 

Drea left him to his carving and turned her eyes to Ruru and Casavir, who were still training. She could see how hard her friend tried to learn, to keep up with the dark-haired man who always was so stoic. He had something, without a doubt. He wasn’t just attractive, but also polite and, admittedly, not quite as stiff as Drea had anticipated at first. He didn’t laugh often, but when he did Drea could absolutely see why her friend had fallen for the paladin. Head over heels. 

“I wonder if Casavir even notices it.” she muttered more to herself than anyone.

 

Bishop stopped his hands for a moment. "That paladin's head is as thick as a stone wall. The poor bard will be heartbroken by the end of the year, mark my words."

 

Drea turned back to Bishop. “Don’t be like that. Ruru really likes him.”

 

"Yeah, but would that paladin return her feelings? I don't think so. It would need a miracle.... or two." Bishop was sarcastic now. 

 

“Some say love is always a miracle.” Drea replied. “In fact, a lot of things are. Like me still being alive after being dragged into your cave. Maybe your beast wanted a pillow more than a meal.” she grinned. “Was I a good pillow?”

 

Bishop frowned, but not from anger or anything. He blamed himself. It should not have happened. But if it hadn't been her... it would have been someone else... someone else that would have died that night. He sighed and placed the carving down for a moment. 

"I don't know about a good pillow, but you were beautiful", he said as he gazed into Drea's eyes, clearly meaning every word.

 

She looked flustered now. He could tell she was unsure what to say by the way she looked away, her pupils scanning their surroundings for something to distract with. It surprised him how easy it was to read her. 

“I…” she looked at him, but turned her gaze away immediately. 

 

Bishop smirked now.  _ She's so adorable. Little sheepish bunny.  _ Without a warning he placed a kiss on Drea's cheek before continuing the carving. He corrected the bunny's eyes. He made it look sheepish now.

  
  


After some time Casavir, calm as usual and Ruru, completely burned out, joined them. Drea thought about telling Ruru she was smelly for a moment, but then again it would have embarrass poor Ruru. So she just made sure to sit next to Ruru so Casavir might not notice it. “You look like you could use a bath after dinner, Ru. There was a pond over there, we could go together.”

 

Ruru just nodded. She released her hair from the chignon and let the long, brown tresses landed on her back. "Then let's have dinner! I'm so quit...."

But despite her exhaustion she was feeling good.

 

The food felt almost divine after the hard training. Casavir didn’t give Ruru any rest, always forcing her to do better or get thrown to the ground in a very painful manner and finding herself at swordpoint.

 

After dinner, Ruru and Drea went to the pond to have a bath. The water was refreshing, and Ruru scrubbed herself thoroughly. Though sore, bruised and exhausted, Ruru tried to be positive about it. No pain, no gain, after all. 

 

Her friend waded over. “Let me heal those for you. Casavir seems to be quite the harsh teacher, it seems.” She lay her hands on Ruru’s scratches and bruises and one by one they vanished. “He really should be more considerate. But I guess he wants to teach you as much as he can in the short time.”

 

Ruru shrugged. "If he was considerate, I would never learn how to really fight. There are no bandits who offer an invitation to a tea party. Or undead who give roses on a first meeting. Or dragons who shake hands before duel."

 

Of course Drea knew this, but why did Casavir not patch her friend up after the training? In such a bad shape she was an easy target. 

Once they were clean they headed back. Karnwyr greeted them and then returned to Bishop’s side. The wolf had begun to take a liking to Ruru in the past days. Of course he still did not let her pet him all the time as he allowed Drea, but he had figured the bard was not all that bad when Bishop travelled with her and Drea spent so much time with her. 

 

The next day their journey continued. It was not long before they reached the border. To their surprise the border was closed. Casavir talked to the man in charge for a long time before they got the permission to cross the border. As they made their way through the Jeralls he explained that they were lucky to travel with Casavir. Of course he did not mean it in an arrogant way, but Bishop had to remark on it. 

“You do not understand, Bishop. The soldiers at the border are not allowed to let us through without the proper papers. It would have taken weeks if he hadn’t recognized the crest of the oak.” Casavir replied. “And time is of the essence.”

 

"Yeah, because we need to hurry to the next cage to put me in!" Bishop snapped.

 

“That is a part of the problem.” Casavir admitted. 

“Don’t argue. We’re here, we got over the border. So everything is good. Right?” Drea gave them her sweetest look.

The two men stopped arguing. It was not long until they reached an inn where they spent the night. Casavir pulled out his map and seemed to ponder.

 

Ruru was sitting on a corner table. There were sheets of paper spread around her and she was writing something on one of them, or more like composing a song.

 

“We should resupply at the next village.” Casavir said. “Unless you want to go to Bruma, which would throw us back for at least another day.”

“I’m good.” Drea said while she glanced at the map. Fort Greyrock lay southwest of the Imperial City, only two days from Skingrad. She had been to Skingrad before, but could not remember if she had seen the fort on her way. During the past days Casavir and she had been talking about her magic and he had told her he’d inquire for a place to stay for her, too. The idea of living amongst paladins excited her as much as it scared her. But if they could help her…

 

Their journey continued on the early morning next day. Bishop was grumpy, as always, and Ruru yawned on the horseback. She let Gelda follow Casavir's horse as she drifted to a sleep-like state.

 

“WAKE UP, BARD! We’re under attack!” Bishop shouted, well knowing they were not. He just wanted to see her fall off the horse. Or maybe not, but it was definitely worth finding out what would happen.

 

Ruru startled and the fast movement made the horse sprung into a gallop. Ruru was just barely able to balance herself and stop the horse a small distance away. Her glare hit Bishop, and the ranger just laughed. 

 

Casavir said nothing to this. He knew it was useless to tell Bishop to stop, the ranger likely only would do it more often. Drea though gave Bishop a glare. “That is unnecessary, Bishop. What will you do now if we really get attacked and Ruru doesn’t believe you?”

 

“The boy who cried wolf.” Casavir said calmly. “Miss Andrea is right, Bishop, you should refrain from doing this unless we really get attacked.”

 

Bishop scoffed but said nothing to the paladin. It had been a hilarious sight nonetheless.

"Revenge is sweet, Bishop, remember that", Ruru said darkly, still glaring at him. "One day I'll get you for this."

"Bring it on, wench!" Bishop answered, throwing a challenging glance to the bard.

 

“Bishop!” Drea said with slight anger. “Take that back! Ruru is not a wench!”

 

Bishop grumbled something under his breath.

Ruru just turned her horse and continued riding forward. She wasn't angry, but she hated dealing with little boy pranks like these. Bishop was, after all, a little boy in a grown man's frame. Maybe he had the skills to survive in the wilderness, but with people he was like an untamed animal. And what came to her revenge, she wouldn't do it, of course. It would only add more fuel to the flames.

 

“Bishop…” Drea’s voice came low. “You will apologize to Ruru.”

 

"It's alright, Drea!" Ruru called out in the front. "Let the ranger bark if he wants."

 

“No. He will apologize for calling you a wench.” She gave Bishop a stern look. 

 

Bishop grumbled again. "Alright, fine. Sorry about the wench thing, bard."

 

Drea nodded in approval, then she stepped over and rewarded Bishop with a kiss on his cheek. 


	14. Chapter 14

The days dragged on. Their progress was slow and given how little time remained until the next full moons they had to scrape the plans on hopping by Drea’s family. Of course it made her sad, but she didn’t want to leave Bishop alone when he already seemed to be on edge. She thought it likely was something he didn’t want to tell about his past and she decided not to pry. Casavir pressed on, making sure they would not lose more time. Having Bishop turn while they were on the road would not exactly be good.

And so, just in time on the early afternoon of the full moons they reached it. Fort Greyrock.

Although the day was not the nicest if judged by the weather the fort looked amazing. Drea and Ruru both stared at it in awe before Casavir stated they had to press on. It took another half an hour until they made their way over the long stone bridge. Bishop felt weird. On one hand he wanted to hurry, to get into a cage so he would not hurt Drea. On the other hand everything inside of him screamed to stay away from these justice warriors. But then he felt her hand in his. Only for a brief moment she squeezed his hand firmly before letting go. 

Yeah, it would be alright. 

 

It was Ruru's first time seeing something so big, grand and majestic. Of course, the city of Solitude had awestruck her as much in her youth, but the fortress was like a little city with its workshops, stables and grand halls. Her curiosity was killing her. What hidden places could she find to be by herself? If she would ever have such luxury now that she was finally here. Soon to be a novice. 

Her gaze wandered from stonewalls to the yard where many men and women worked on their daily chores, and she caught a glimpse of the training ground with many young apprentices training under the watchful eye of their mentors.  _ Will I join them soon? With Casavir as my teacher?  _ She glanced at the man who had already become a large existence inside her heart.  _ I need to stop thinking about him then.  _

 

“As you can see the fort is much like any other fort, the only difference is that the Order resides here and thus we have less soldiers and more paladins, priests and dedicated healers and alchemists and who not.” Casavir told them. He had not been here in years and a feeling of nostalgia overcame him. “A few things might have changed since I was here last, but we will directly go to the paladins’ quarter and try to find access to the dungeons. As I have not been informed of a new leader we should be asking for Master Finnur, Master Geralt or Master Rivan. They are in charge of all matters around the fort and are the highest-ranked members of the Order of the Oak.”

Drea nodded to show she got that and could see Ruru doing the same. 

Casavir continued. “Bishop, they might not like the idea of a werewolf residing in the fort, so I suggest, and that is in your best interest, that you try and use the few manners Miss Andrea taught you.”

 

Bishop rolled his eyes. "Like I'm stupid enough to give any paladin a reason to strike me in the heart with a silver spike."

 

“I thought I better make it clear.” Casavir said. “After all bringing you here all the way only to get you killed would not be pleasant. Anyway,” He lead them through the fort without fail, showing how well he knew the place. “it would be best if you accept the dungeons for tonight. Perhaps this is not the-” 

Casavir could not finish his sentence. A young woman with short black hair, perhaps a few years older than Ruru and Drea, stepped in front of them. 

  
“A werewolf in the keep?! Are you out of your mi- Casavir?!” Her angered tone changed into a surprised one and she looked puzzled before her face got stern again. “Casavir, why is this werewolf not tied up? And why are you here? I thought you were in Skyrim. We heard rumours of-”

“It is a long story, Sonea, please let us take care of him first. This is Bishop, he willingly came here and there is no reason to tie him before nightfall. Our journey was longer than expected so please, can we talk about the details later?” Ruru noticed how Casavir called her by her first name. Without the title.

 

Ruru hid her feelings. She kept a straight face and greeted the woman with a polite nod and stayed silent, letting Casavir handle this. Of course, her heart was aching inside. Who was this woman to Casavir? More than just a fellow paladin? So many thoughts stormed inside her head that she felt like her skull was about to crack open and unleash hurricane to wreck havoc. And considering the woman looked beautiful, even without any makeup on, Ruru's heart was crushed. 

_ It's better if I end my foolishness as soon as possible.  _ she thought as she looked away.  _ It'd make things much easier. _

 

“Of course.” The woman eyed Ruru and Drea for a moment, but decided the talking could wait. She lead them onward, Casavir now following her while Ruru, Drea, Bishop and Karnwyr followed him. As they reached the heart of the fort more paladins looked at them and Bishop realized they were staring at him. They likely knew it as well. What he was. What he would become in a few hours. And although he wouldn’t have admitted to be afraid he stepped a little closer to Drea. She wouldn’t let him down. She wouldn’t. He repeated the words in his head over and over. 

Drea looked around. The place was really nice, there were crests on the walls and armors on stands and there was a long table with a lot of chairs. Heavy rugs covered a big part of the floor and the windows up high were made of stained glass. But they didn’t stop here. The young woman lead them to a door at the side and then through a long hallway before they stopped by a room that was much smaller. She told them to sit and wait while she would inform the Masters. Casavir sat down, but not before pulling out a chair for Ruru and then Drea.

 

Ruru sat down, though she almost wanted to rebel and sit somewhere else. But she decided not to insult Casavir by refusing his gesture. It was not proper behaviour. 

Bishop was pacing around nervously, and Karnwyr tried to calm his alpha with nuzzles. 

 

It did not take long until the young woman came back with an elder man. He greeted Casavir, but much like the woman refrained from asking too many questions.

“I assume you have good reasons for bringing this man here untied. And on a night of the full moons no less. But I would think your reasons can wait for later. For now I would suggest you tell me who he is and why he is untied, and of course I would be interested to know who these two young women are.”

Casavir nodded and began to tell the story briefly. 

“This is Bishop. You might remember the problems we had a few years back with a werewolf in the outskirts of Bravil. He was there. I do neither have proof that he was the werewolf we were looking for, nor against it. These two young ladies met him when he was a beast, Miss Andrea getting kidnapped by him and she survived. He brought her back to her friend here, Miss Rudia, once he had turned back. They met him again a moon later when he tried to attack them, once again in his beast form. Miss Andrea repelled him and made sure they survived. For whatever reason he decided to join them and followed them to Solitude where we met. Miss Rudia worried for what he would do to them in his beast form and informed me when we ran into each other by the temple. Bishop escaped and Miss Andrea, who is a compassionate soul decided to hide him, which lead me to work with the vigilants of Stendarr to find him. When they found him Miss Andrea protected him and thus instead of killing him they brought him back to Solitude. There he had another turning and upon promising Miss Andrea I would not harm Bishop unless he is threatening someone’s life I joined them. There is another matter that lead us to come here, but that will take more time to explain.” He glanced at Ruru. “For tonight I would only ask your permission to restrain Bishop behind bars.”

 

The man listened to the story and after Casavir finished he stroked over his beard, thinking on it before he nodded slowly. “I can see how this came to be. Now, young man, are you willing to spend the night in the dungeons?” He looked at Bishop directly and Bishop suddenly felt discomfort. As if the man could see right through him. 

 

Bishop could only nod. He glanced at Drea with a silent plea.

 

Drea reached her hand out to him, squeezing his hand tightly as an encouragement.    
Of course the old man saw it. “It would seem you will be welcomed back in the morning. For tonight I suggest you remain behind locks, it is late and there is little time.” he said. “Tomorrow we can discuss on what to do with you. Lady Sonea, please if you could lead the two young ladies to a guest room and make sure they get a bath and something to eat.” The woman nodded and motioned Ruru and Drea to follow her. “And you, Ser Casavir and Ser Bishop, if you would follow me to the-”

“I want to go with Bishop.” Drea said.

“That would not be wise, young Miss. I give you my word we will not harm Ser Bishop and you can see him in the morning.” the old man answered with the same calm voice as before. 

“But-”

“He is in good hands, Miss Andrea. You have my word, too.” Casavir said, a slight pressure in his words.

Drea looked at Bishop and only after Ruru took her hand she went with them.

 

It became another long night for Drea. Ruru gave her best to cheer her up, but not being able to see Bishop made Drea so nervous that nothing helped. They had been given a simple room with simple beds and while Drea tossed and turned in worry for Bishop Ruru could not sleep either. 

 

Ruru rarely could sleep in new places at first. But there was something else too. Her emotions were in turmoil. A chaotic disarray of feelings that kept pulling her into the darkest places of her own thoughts about Casavir... and herself. That she would never marry and live happily as a wife to a man that would treat her well. She would only be a dress and a voice, and a hero - that is if she survived her ordeal with the dragons. 

"Our hero, our hero claims a warrior's heart", she hummed quietly, then she released a sarcastic laughter. "Warrior's indeed. When that warrior is going to be my mentor." she mumbled under her breath. 

Right now, she envied Drea. She could have a man. Someone who could show her the world. Of course he was a werewolf, but Drea could keep his beast at bay effortlessly. 

_ All others seem to have a better luck in love than me. The gods really have a twisted sense of humour. _

 

In the morning, Drea already sat on hot coals, they were picked up by a novice. Or at least they thought he must be. The boy was in his early teens, asking them to follow him. He lead them to a large hall where a lot of people were eating their breakfast. Drea already wanted to tell the boy she needed to go to the dungeons when Lady Sonea greeted them.

“I hope your night was restful.” It was obvious it had not been and so the young woman just smiled vaguely. “I assure you the werewo- your friend is alright. As much as one can throwing a tantrum over that rag of a tunic. He refused to give it away when he took a bath or so I heard. Through locked doors.”

Drea said nothing but she looked relieved. 

 

Ruru was quiet. She glanced over the many people, scanning to see the man she adored.  _ One last time before I tell my heart to shut up.  _

 

To Ruru’s disappointment he was not to be seen. But after eating the young woman lead them back to the room from the previous day. 

They waited.

Endlessly long. 

Then finally the door opened and Casavir and the old man, Master Finnur, entered. Behind them Bishop stepped in and Ruru was darn surprised on his looks. Sure, Drea had made sure he had clean clothes, but the paladins apparently had forced him to shave and wash himself. His hair was combed and he smelled clean. Like soap. It held an amazing contrast to his sour face.

 

Ruru, once more, kept a straight face, even though she had often revealed a small smile whenever Casavir was near. Now she felt like it would have been far too obvious and set Casavir into a difficult position. Bishop, however, looked amazingly handsome.  _ Drea is one lucky woman. If only his manners were half of what Casavir has. _ Ruru thought and just greeted Karnwyr, who came to her to say hello because Drea already hurried past him to hug Bishop tightly. Ruru petted the wolf briefly, before the creature went to Drea for further pets.

 

Master Finnur smiled vaguely before he joined the table. Only then Ruru noticed the novice from earlier, making tea for them. Everyone sat around the table and Master Finnur smiled to Ruru. 

“So, Ser Casavir told me you came here with him to learn how to fight so you can protect the people of Tamriel from the dragons. I heard most of the story from him already, but if you don’t mind I would like to hear it in your words, and in detail.”

 

Ruru sighed. Then she began to tell. 

"I had only just graduated from the Bards' College in Solitude. I was assigned to go to Helgen to perform to some nobles there. Then all of sky's wrath was unleashed in the form of a large, black dragon. I managed to escape, and me and few others, Drea included, went towards the Rift. It was during a fight with a dragon, after we arrived in Riften, that I was discovered to be a legendary Dragonborn. The Jarl of Riften made me Thane of the Rift, even when I said that it was unnecessary..." she had a pause to collect her thoughts. It seemed like a small lifetime had passed since then. Maybe it had. 

"Me and Drea traveled to High Hrothgar, where the Greybeards taught me and guided me with the use of my powers as the dragonborn. After spending few days there, me and Drea traveled back, and then we met Bishop. Well, she met him, but I got to know him a little later. Once I learned he was a werewolf, I wanted to do what any sane person should - give him to authorities. We traveled to Solitude, where I met ser Casavir. I'm sure you have heard the rest." she finished her story.

 

“About Ser Bishop, yes.” Master Finnur said. “But I would like to hear further what happened about you being dragonborn. Ser Casavir said you went to a ruin of the old Nord where you fell and then decided to come here.”

 

Ruru grimaced, as she remembered that disaster. 

"I am quite inexperienced when it comes to fighting, my lord", she started. "I was occupied with my own thoughts, and I was being extremely reckless, and it almost cost me my life. I was frustrated, and angry and... If it wasn't for Ca--- I mean Ser Casavir, I wouldn't be here. I need training. I cannot protect anyone if I cannot protect myself from an onslaught."

 

“It is Master Finnur,” the old man said “not Lord. As for the proposal Ser Casavir made: The order would be honoured to teach you, but I suggest you let  _ us  _ choose your teachers. Ser Casavir is capable and finished his novicehood with the best grades as well in combat as the more mind- and manners-focussed subjects, but given that you travelled together more as - shall we say - friends, I deem it wiser to assign someone else as your teacher. Would you accept that?”

 

Ruru didn't know if she should be relieved or worried. She took a determined look on her face and nodded. "Yes, Master Finnur. I accept the offer."

 

The old man nodded. “Then I suggest you get to know the fort. As a novice you will have to follow the orders of your teachers and those above you in rank, no matter your age. There will be novices younger than you, by far, that will have authority over you. Is that acceptable for you?”

 

Ruru had to swallow her pride. She rarely allowed 'kids' jump all over her nose. Ruru nodded. "Yes, Master."

 

“Then I have only a final question. Do you wish to learn how to fight only, or is it your wish to become a paladin?”

 

Ruru didn't know how to answer this. Paladins would have to follow strict rules, and she was far too carefree to allow strictness control her. 

"No, Master. I only wish to learn how to fight. Being a paladin would not suit me, not to disregard what you do, of course, I just find all that restraint and restrictions far too... confining", she replied after a small moment of silence. 

 

The old man raised a brow. “You might find that we have less restrictions than the average person thinks. But be that as it may, the order could provide you with an education that is rarely ever given to a commoner. Ser Casavir told me you were born to farmers. I suggest you think on my offer. I will ask you again in a fortnight. Until then we shall begin your physical training.” He spoke firmly. Ruru could feel he was wise, but he also was a leader. 

Then he turned to Drea. They spoke about Drea’s magic, her fear to not be able to control the power and to harm those around her. Ruru realized her friend rarely ever talked about it. But here she was, answering the man’s questions and giving away so much of herself. Master Finnur made an appointment with her for the next day, to test her magical abilities and find the right way to help the young woman.

Then he turned to Bishop. 

“Now that we have spoken about your friends, Ser Bishop, it is time to figure out what we should do with you.”

 

Bishop frowned. He had so many insults on the tip of his tongue, but he refrained saying them aloud. "Yeah?" he grumbled.

 

“Well, you are probably aware that we cannot let you leave. But given that you cooperated and that there is someone who cares about you I would think you deserve a chance.” The old Master paused, studying Bishop. Once more Bishop felt like the man saw right through him.

 

"Don't get into my head, old man, all you'll see is blood and pain!" Bishop snapped, finally unleashing the anger he felt from being stared at so.... piercingly. 

 

“Bishop!” Casavir exclaimed. 

Master Finnur did not seem to be concerned by Bishops reaction. “And yet there is more than that in you, boy.” He stated, not worried about calling Bishop out for being young and inexperienced. “What happened in your past happened. I can imagine you have done a few things you are not proud of, but those do not matter right now. What I am asking you is: What is it that you ask of the Order of the Oak. You are in a position to make a choice right now.”

 

Bishop shifted his weight from leg to leg, seemingly nervous and unsure. He didn't belong here, but Drea was here. She was willing to help him. They all were, he knew that. But he just... didn't know what to do. 

"What happened in my past is no one's business. I didn't enjoy it, and I would take back what I've done twice over if I could, but dead tend to stay that way, no matter what sort of magic you are able to wield. And so I come to my own agenda: I wish to be cured from this curse. I know it's probably not possible, but if there's even the slightest chance, I'm willing to take it, even if it would take all of my years to accomplish."

 

“I see.” Master Finnur said. “The order can grant you refuge and protection from your beast. But we can not cure you, nor do we know of a cure. There is also the fact that we can not give this to you freely. If you wish to stay you will have to pay a price. That can be by money or work or knowledge.” He kept looking at Bishop with this intense look that made the man nervous.

 

Bishop frowned. Of course there was a price. And the way the old man was looking at him made him want to cut out his eyes, but knew to better keep that thought as such. 

"I know the wilderness, I know how to move there and I know how to hunt, and my bow skills are precise. I can also work on skins and leather, repair bows and such. And I have a little hobby with wood carvings."

 

While Bishop, Drea and Ruru watched the old man thinking on it Casavir knew that a man with Bishop’s skills was always needed at the fort. He could easily become a hunter and with his skills, that Casavir had enough time observing by now, it was even possible for Bishop to become a paladin. If a low-ranked one. 

Eventually Master Finnur nodded. “Casavir already informed me of your skills. We can always use a capable hunter. But if you wish to become the Order’s hunter you will have to accept that we will cage you each night of the full moons. You will have to be here each month and punctual no less. I can not grant you refuge here if you fail to put the protection of the fort and its people in front of you. Is that clear?”

 

Bishop glanced at Drea once more.  _ If it has to be...  _ He returned his gaze to the old man. "No problem. As long as I'm not poked at."

 

“Poked at?” 

 

Bishop frowned. "Also known as being experimented on. Don't ask."

 

Master Finnur understood. More than Bishop realized at that moment. He nodded. “You have my word that we will ask your permission should it be necessary.”

 

"You better give me a good reason too, old man, otherwise I'll make sure some of your people will lose something that won't grow back and they'll miss for the rest of their lives." Bishop snarled.

 

Master Finnur said nothing. Much unlike Casavir who got very angry and Drea who even stood up, giving Bishop the most hurt look she ever had. 

 

Bishop glanced at Drea and frowned. "You'd do the same, babyface, if they decided to lock you into a cage with barely enough space for you to stand and then have hundreds of needles inserted, your blood drained.... everything! Argh! Fuck it! I'm going out. Karnwyr needs to hunt", Bishop turned on his heels and stomped out of the room, followed by Karnwyr.

 

Drea felt angry. Why did he always assume everyone was out for him? But as she wanted to follow Bishop Master Finnur spoke up quietly. “Don’t. Give him some time to calm down. You may not know this, but in the past werewolves have been experimented on. And it has not been so long ago that this was declared to be wrong by a few orders. Many still practice these... ways.”

Drea was shocked. Of course, she knew this, in a way… but… 

“Do not fear, my lady.” Casavir said quietly. “Bishop will be safe here. Unless he decides to really harm someone.”

“Which I am sure the young man won’t.” Master Finnur said calmly. “He needs a hand to guide him, that is all. As for you two young ladies, I suggest this: We have quarters where the novices live. They are all younger than you two, but I think it is possible to give you a room together. That way you may support each other and study together. I will send my student for you for tomorrow. For today I suggest you see the fort for yourself, you barely had time to do so as of yet. Meals are served morning, noon and evening in the great hall.”

He stood up, gave them a last smile and then left.

 

Ruru released the air she had been holding in for the last minute or so. She stood up and stretched her arms. 

"I guess a walk would do us both good", she stated with an excited smile. The curiousness was apparent in her eyes. 

 

“Allow me to accompany you.” Casavir said. “Unless you prefer to be alone, of course.”

 

Ruru glanced at Casavir with a smile. "If you don't mind. Well... I get lost pretty easily, but that's just at first. It took me a couple of months to navigate through the streets of Solitude. Give me a month or so and I'll probably know the fort like the back of my hand."

 

Casavir smiled. “You might find that the fort is much different from Solitude, my lady. There are a lot of shortcuts and hidden paths here.”

“Can we go to the market?” Drea asked. “I need more stuff to work with and I should check out the other tailors.”

 

They left the room and Casavir escorted them to the inner courtyard. Ruru followed in pondering silence. Should she really pursue the path of a paladin? But she didn't really understand what that meant. To be a paladin. Casavir had only shared some little hints, but she just... couldn't quite piece it together. Her knowledge, obviously, was old fashioned to say the least. If paladins were not as restricted as in the past.... should she really take that route? Would it be so bad? Would Casavir notice her more...?

_ Stop thinking about him!  _ she commanded herself.  _ He'll never be yours. _

 

Casavir lead them back through the fort. This time, given they had more time, he told them more about the fort. Much unlike the average imperial fort it was not lead by a Duke, Baron or other noble, but the three Masters of the Order of the Oak. They were the ones to assign their successor and decided on all the matters together. The fort had several districts. The inner district housed the Order itself while the outer ones were for the peasants and normal folk. 

“Given the fort’s surroundings there is a lot of hunting, fishing and crafting. The goods are then traded for all the farming produce we don’t have here.”

 

They toured the fortress, and by the time of lunch, Casavir lead them to the grand hall.

Of course Drea worried about Bishop, who had not shown up since he had run out on them, but Casavir repeated Master Finnur’s words. They ate together, but Casavir informed them that it was possible they would have to eat with the novices once their training began. “It is to teach discipline and although you two are older than the novices you lack the experience they have.”

 

Ruru only nodded.  _ Either way, I'm giving up on my feelings. Maybe there's a spell to turn a heart into stone. _ She laughed inside her head.  _ How poetic. _

 

“Is something the matter, Miss Ruru?” Casavir asked. “You have been very quiet today.”

 

Ruru was startled when she heard Casavir speaking to her. She looked up at him, and she tried to hide her sadness. 

"It's nothing, ser Casavir. I'm just thinking about what Master Finnur said about becoming a paladin." It was half the truth.

 

Casavir knew it was not all but he didn’t pry. “If I can be of assistance you only have to ask, my lady.” He gave her a warm smile. “I may not become your teacher, but that does not mean I can not help you.”

 

Ruru felt embarrassed, but she didn't show it. "I guess I really don't know if I should. Become a paladin, that is. It just.... feels like it's not for me. I'm not religious, I have a hard time to restrain myself when there are so many delicious things to be eaten, and I am not so sure if I can live up to the vows you take. I can keep promises, I can keep secrets entrusted to me, but vows are just... so absolute."

 

Casavir nodded. “The life of a paladin is not for everyone and I am sure your fate as a hero of legend already is hard enough. If you do not feel the profession of a paladin calling to you then you do not have to be one. The order will teach you so you can keep the dragons at bay.”

 

Ruru sighed. "Are there any.... special benefits should I choose to become a paladin? Or is it just...." she stopped and changed her voice to sarcastically pompous one. "In the name of justice and honor, I shall rid this realm of evil!" At the end of her little act she posed heroically.

 

A few people nearby looked at her almost grudgingly. 

“Well, my lady, a true paladin finds it to be a reward in itself to rid the realm of evil.” He was clearly scolding her.

“But as for the question of more worldly benefits, yes. It is not as simple to explain, but most paladins are from noble birth. It is rare that a  _ farmgirl _ , as you like saying, is given the chance to become a paladin. That has different reasons. For one the plebeian folk less often wants to strive for a higher good. Another reason is that those of higher birth choose to improve the relationships of their families and to gain a good reputation.” He paused. “How much do you know of the way noble families teach and raise their offspring?”

 

Ruru thought about it for a moment. "They hire private tutors, at least that's how it works in High Rock. Mother and father often cursed about it, that if they had enough money, they would teach me more about the world. But as it turns out, I decided to do it myself and travel to Skyrim."

 

Casavir smiled. “Yes, that is a part of it, but it does depend a lot on other things as well. You might think that all daughters of a noble family are raised to become good wives, they would learn manners, dance, how to arrange parties and learn to play an instrument. And all sons of a noble family will be trained in politics, trade, combat and the, shall we say, more male privileges.” He smiled to Ruru and Drea, awaiting a reaction.

Drea nodded.

 

Ruru's cheeks became slightly red. She cleared her throat. 

 

“Well, in a few families that is the case, but especially in the higher ranked families it is not.” Casavir continued. “It is mostly the firstborn son who will one day become the head of the house and thus he will always be trained in politics, knowing all the important people, manners and of course the respective trade of the house. And here it gets more interesting. Some families have a lot of trading, some have a lot of land to grow produce, others are great warriors and thus will teach their offspring how to handle any weapon. The firstborn son holds not only the future of the house but also a great responsibility. This is not always achieved alone and so the second-born son will learn only a part of these things and learn a lot about keeping the books. The financial situation of a noble family is as fragile as that of a farming family. It just is different.” Here he paused again to give the two women the chance for questions.

 

Ruru only nodded. She knew what Casavir meant. As the youngest of three, Ruru only had watched and learned to take care of the animals, and helped mother in the kitchen and on the field during harvest. Her bigger siblings had more chores than she did, but she still contributed, till she decided to pursue the career of a bard.

 

“What about the girls?” Drea asked.

 

“They will often go a similar path, although as I told you before, they are more likely to learn how to be supportive to their future husbands. A woman usually brings honour to their house by becoming the wife of another noble who is respected.” Casavir answered. “But of course there are always exceptions. Lady Sonea, who you met before, is one of them. Usually noble women who devote themselves to the gods become priestesses, but it is not impossible for a woman to become a capable fighter.”

 

In Ruru's ears Casavir's words about Lady Sonea sounded adoring. She laughed on the inside, mocked herself even.  _ Another proof why I don't need to bother.  _

 

“To get back to your question, though,” Casavir continued. “as you can imagine the order does not run on good will and the fort alone. Many noble families give the order money. It is not as obviously done as ‘Here are a hundred thousand septims, take our son and train him to become a paladin’ but as you can imagine the teachings of the order are wanted amongst nobles. And so they pay a lot of money in hope to improve the chances for their children. It is something farmers or smiths cannot afford. Thus the chance for someone of low birth to become a paladin is almost non present. Only those with extraordinary talent get chosen.”

 

Ruru hid her frown and bit her tongue.  _ Of course nobles would send their sons and daughters to be trained. Money speaks louder than any other voice in the universe!  _ she thought.  _ Nobles... bah! Like they know anything about getting their hands dirty with mud, or horse dung... or what it feels like to harvest a field of grain. _

In her thoughts she continued like this for the moment.

 

Of course Casavir noticed it. “You should not judge someone by how much money you think they have, my lady.” he lectured Ruru. 

 

Ruru's eyes lost their sharp glare.

 

Casavir sighed slightly. “There are a lot of things you could learn as a paladin, my lady. But no-one will force you to take vows you cannot keep.”

“Will I have to take vows?” Drea asked now. 

“I do not know what plans Master Finnur has for you, Miss Andrea. But you will not have to if you feel they are not right for you.”

 

Ruru returned to her pondering silence. She knew she had acted foolishly, again, like a child. She had always thought to be mature, but Casavir had proven her wrong. So did Drea, too.  _ But what exactly would I gain for becoming a paladin? Should I see it for myself? It can't hurt, right? Maybe I can choose how to live my life afterwards. Enjoy the little things while helping those in need.  _

 

Casavir left the two women to their thoughts after telling him so much today already. He knew he could help them by telling them about the details of their education, but they would still have to find their own ways. 

After eating their fill they returned outside. Casavir had decided it would do them good to go to the gardens. He remembered taking strolls when he was younger here. Whenever he had felt like the training was too hard or his head was about to burst from all the teachings he had come here. 

Standing between the majestic oaks once more made him feel at peace and he could see on Miss Andrea’s face she felt the same. That young woman was always so open-hearted. He smiled and turned to Ruru.

 

Ruru however didn't lift her gaze to meet Casavir's. She only stared forward, clearly admiring the grand trees, and the colorful bloom of flowers and other plants, but otherwise she seemed distant now. 

 

With a smile Casavir left her side and wandered for a bit. The gardens had a few benches and soon he sat down and just enjoyed the peaceful moment. He was home. 

 

Then Ruru's singing filled the air, clear and wavering like fresh streams of water in the Jerall Mountains when the snow melted under the heat of the sun. The song she sang was poetic and melancholic, telling about lovers that were passionate about each other but eventually could no longer be together. The woman in the song eventually finds her lover's grave and heartbroken she falls dead too and her body becomes a field of deathbells. 

 

Drea ran off a little further. She liked Ruru’s singing, but right now all she needed was the silence. Casavir on the other hand closed his eyes and listened. It was a soppy song, but he still felt himself smile.

  
  


It was later in the evening when Bishop returned with a happy Karnwyr. The wolf immediately sniffed Drea out. Bishop was sitting on a set of stairs and carving the piece of wood.

 

“Bishop!” Drea hurried to him. “I was worried!”

 

Bishop put the carving away and stood up. For a moment he hesitated, but the woman basically flung herself at him and he had no other option but to catch her within his arms. He pressed his nose into her hair and took a deep breath.

"Unnecessary waste of energy, babyface", he said quietly.

 

“But you ran away.” she whispered just as quietly. “What if you wouldn’t have come back?”

 

"Hmm, I considered it, but then I realized I had something important here that I couldn't leave behind."

 

“Yeah.” she said, snuggling him a little tighter. “I made them for you. You’d be cold.”

 

Bishop chuckled. "Who said I was talking about clothes, you silly woman."

 

She looked up, now being confused. “What else?”

 

Bishop's gaze pierced right through hers. "You", he whispered the word. Well, there was no voice heard, but even Drea was not that stupid to not be able to read lips.

 

Well, she was. But it didn’t matter. Bishop was right here, he had come back and it made her happy. 

“We were all over the fort today.” she told him. “Casavir showed us the gardens, too. It’s really nice there, like… like a mix of a forest and a garden.” She looked at him with excitement, waiting for him to react.

 

Bishop smiled. "Sounds like a place where I might find my solace when I need it."

 

She snuggled into his arms once more. “Yeah. How about we go there together after dinner?”

 

Bishop held Drea close. "Sure. I might even finish the carving too."

 

Drea smiled. “It looks really cute. Are you going to sell it?” She wondered how much such a masterpiece was actually worth. Probably too much for her to afford, but she could at least try…

 

Bishop shrugged. "If I find a buyer..."

 

She stroked her finger over the wolf’s back. he looked at the little bunny with such… lifelike eyes. She blushed. “I… I got a thousand septims. if I sell some of the clothes a thousand and two hundred.”

 

Bishop's lips softly brushed over hers before she was able to finish her sentence. "You silly woman", he said as he gazed intensely into her eyes. 

Just then the bell rang as a sign that dinner was ready.

 

Now Drea looked really flustered. “I’m not silly… I just… They are so cute…” Yeah, she was silly. Someone rich like Casavir could afford something so perfect. Not her. She glanced at him sheepishly.

 

"Let's go eat and then walk around the garden", Bishop said as he stored the carving. 

 

Drea went quiet. She wasn’t sure if he was angry or upset or if there was something wrong. She felt unsure on everything. 

 

Bishop sighed. "Look.... it was supposed to be a surprise.... but I guess..." he scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Gosh... I'm not good with these things..." He cleared his throat and then took Drea's hands into his own. "You.... you are... just... something special. To me. And you've done so much and all I've done is being mean and rude and acting like a scumbag when in real I have no idea how to thank you."

Bishop spoke quietly, but it was clear he was doing it from the bottom of his heart. He looked flustered and nervous even.

"You've given me things.... that no one else ever did. You showed me compassion when others had none. You risked yourself to save my sorry excuse of an ass, and all I did was to shout insults at you. And then you went all that trouble to make me clothes. I felt like I didn't deserve them, after all that I did."

Bishop took a deep breath. "I wanted to make something for you as well. And this..." he took the carving out of his pouch. "This is the little something that I want to give you, when it's ready."

 

For a moment Drea just stood there, unable to say anything. But then... then she cried. And she smiled. Through a veil of happy tears she looked at him. “You… made this… for me?” She sobbed, trying to snuggle herself against him. 

 

Bishop pulled her close. "Yes, you silly woman", he mocked with a warm smile. "Just for you."

  
  


It took a little while for her to calm down enough to go for dinner. But when they entered the great hall she smiled. Holding Bishop’s hand she made her way over to Ruru and Casavir.

 

Ruru glanced over her shoulder, taking note of their joined hands. She smiled to her friend. 

"Looks like your missing half has finally returned." she said in a warm, relieved tone. 

 

“Yes.” Drea smiled almost proudly as she stirred the slightly flustered Bishop to the table. “And we are hungry!”

 

Casavir smiled. “Then you should join us for dinner.” He nodded to Bishop. 

 

Bishop sat down right next to Drea. He glanced over at all the food on the tables and wondered if it was really alright to get some of everything he wanted. Ruru answered his half-whispered question before Casavir could.

 

To Bishop it was a feast like never before. He found himself glutton down food like he'd been starving for food for the past few years. Of course he tried to remember the few table manners Drea had taught him.

Ruru ate in silence, just nibbling on her food. Of course she finished her plate, but she really didn't talk all that much. With so many things going on at once inside her head, it was hard to grasp what was going around her. Drea and Bishop were an obvious couple now, and it made her happy, but at the same time she felt envious. Of course someone like Drea would find a man, but she wouldn't. Not when all of Tamriel's fate was resting on her shoulders, not when she was about to become a trainee. Not when Casavir had women in the fortress, too. No one would want her, and maybe she should just accept it.  _ Don't fall in love, there's just too much to lose.  _ she remembered a song saying. If only she could remember the whole ballad.

 

Drea ate in silence, too. She felt happy. Not only because Bishop said such nice things, but also because he was here. To her it felt like the world was going to be alright as long as Bishop was there. Even more so when he smiled, too.

  
  


After dinner Ruru retired. Because of her badly slept night, she was so exhausted she could barely keep her eyes open. While Casavir escorted her to her room, Drea and Bishop went to the gardens.

 

As always Karnwyr followed them. Once they reached the garden he scurried off, tough. Drea kept holding Bishop’s hand. “Soo… you’re going to stay here?”

 

Bishop nodded. "Yeah, I guess. I mean, if it helps me get closer to a cure, I'll stay and help these sissy pants noble paladins", he said with a sarcastic tone.

 

“But… there is no cure they said.”

 

Bishop sighed. "What did that bard say again. That everything has its opposite? Everything comes in pairs. Something like that."

 

She didn’t want to crush his hope. But she also didn’t want for him to chase the stars when they were unreachable. “You might never find it, what then?”

 

Bishop grinned. "Then I'll just be your big bad wolf."

 

Drea snuggled against him. “Yeah. Or you could be my big good wolf.” She looked over to the trees where Karnwyr romped around. 

 

Bishop wrapped his arm around the woman and pulled her just a little closer. He glanced at Karnwyr and whistled. "Mutt! Don't go digging holes, you hear?!"

 

Drea giggled. Of course Karnwyr didn’t know what Bishop said and only raised his head for a moment before beginning to dig.

 

Bishop snarled and hurried to stop the stupid wolf from spoiling the landscape. "Idiot mutt", he scolded sternly as he grabbed Karnwyr by the back of his neck and pulled him away. "No!" he commanded. "Bad wolf!"

 

“Don’t scold him! It’s not his fault he doesn’t understand you.” Drea felt sorry for the poor wolf. 

 

Bishop released the wolf. Of course he never hurt his friend. But there were times when he really couldn't control him either. But then again, Karnwyr was a wolf. Wolves had their own will. He just sighed and crouched, petting the wolf who looked so proud of his accomplishments. "Wasn't that rabbit hunt enough for you?"

 

Karnwyr howled and pushed Bishop over. Knowing Karnwyr for such a long time Bishop knew his friend wanted to play.

 

Bishop laughed and then released a playful snarl. It took a second for Karnwyr to answer with a snarl of his own and the two started to wrestle playfully on the ground. Though Karnwyr bared his teeth at Bishop, he was never a threat or anything. It was like watching two brothers playing around. The happy smile Bishop constantly had on made Drea smile too.

 

They stayed until it got dark. By then Drea felt incredibly tired. Not really knowing where Bishop and Karnwyr were meant to stay Drea decided to just take him to the room she was given with Ruru. She wouldn’t mind for one night. Probably.

 

Bishop grinned wolfishly. "Already? Well, sure, I can give you a night you won't forget."

 

She slapped him playfully. “It’s not like that! But you hardly can sleep outsi- well... at least you  _ shouldn’t _ have to sleep outside!”

 

Bishop laughed, then kissed her. "You should worry about yourself more than me, Drea. I have survived against worse odds than sleeping outside."

 

“But I don’t want you to have to sleep outside!” 

 

Bishop rolled his eyes. "Alright, fine."

 

When they entered the room Ruru was fast asleep. Drea held her finger to her lips to show Bishop to be quiet and pointed to the bed. It would be a bit small for two, but it would be alright.

 

They snuggled up under the duvet and soon Drea was asleep. Her head rested on the side of Bishop’s chest and her gentle breath rolled over his thorax. For some time he stayed awake, listening and holding her. He felt like the luckiest man on Nirn. She cared about him. And she was not afraid of the beast in him. He knew there was no cure. He had said that so she would not leave. But she knew it, too, and still didn’t leave. Maybe that old paladin’s offer was alright to take. As long as he could be with her he’d do it. He could be their ranger. Because she was here…


	15. Chapter 15

The sounds of morning penetrated Ruru's sleep and she slowly opened her eyes and stared at the unfamiliar room sleepily until her brains started to function and tell her where she was. The dreams she had were hazy memories now, seen through misty clouds that soon disappeared into the darkest corners of her skull to be forgotten. She sat upright, stretched her arms and welcomed the new day. Until she saw the most peculiar scene in the room when she looked at the bed Drea was occupying. Well.... there was Drea, her head used Bishop's torso as a pillow and the ranger himself was holding her close. Even Karnwyr was in the room, sleeping next to the bed on the floor, as soundly as his master did. 

She didn't want to think what they might have done while she was sleeping like a log. Maybe nothing had happened, and if she was being honest to herself, she didn't really care. It was Drea's business. But she worried it might bring trouble for them both. This was a paladin fortress, after all.

Clearing her throat awkwardly, Ruru stood up and as quietly as she was able she got dressed and left the room to give the couple their peace. There was a nasty feeling in her chest. 

_ She'll have what I never will.  _

 

“Good morning, Miss Rudia.” Casavir’s deep voice surprised her and of course her first thought was if she looked presentable. “I hope you had a pleasant night.”

She looked at the paladin who wore clothes today. Not that it was an uncommon sight. She had seen him on many occasions back in Solitude, wearing all kinds of clothes. But it was different now. No matter how often she told herself she had to forget him, her heart began to bounce around when he was near. And right now… 

The noble blue tunic he wore over a pair of dark trousers gave away the perfect physique of the man. During their training she had already realized he hid a lot of muscle under his armor, one of the reasons why fighting him was even harder than any actual foe. The thought of his trained body had thrown her off balance time and time again. 

He smiled warmly and only then Ruru realized she was staring at him.

 

Ruru averted her gaze and made a quick curtsey. "Good morning, Ser Casavir", she greeted politely, keeping a certain distance in her voice. She tried to ignore the pounding of her heart and the fluttering of her thoughts. "I slept quite soundly."  _ So soundly I didn't even hear Bishop and Drea entering the room and having the night of their lives!  _

 

“That is good to hear. I was hoping you would like to join me for breakfast. Is Miss Andrea awake yet?” He avoided telling her he knew about Bishop in their room. He had seen them the previous evening and although it was not wanted for novices to have someone in their rooms, Miss Andrea did not know about that rule and Bishop likely had nowhere else to sleep. By now he knew the woman was decent enough not to bed Bishop like that. So he had left it to them. 

 

Ruru tried to act as natural as ever, covering up for her friend. "She's still sound asleep. I don't think she'll wake up anytime soon." 

 

Casavir chuckled on the inside. “Then perhaps you would like to accompany me?” he offered his arm to her.

 

Ruru hesitated. Should she really take his arm? If she would, she'd just become trapped in her feelings she felt for this man. She should keep her distance, try and forget about him. Slowly but surely. Just like all the others she'd had a crush on.

"Is it allowed for a high ranking paladin such as yourself to escort a novice like me", she asked, facing his gaze, and for a moment she lost herself in the steel-blue hue of his eyes. Like she was staring at a sky on a bright winter's morning right before snowfall.

_ Be still, my heart!  _ she commanded, but her mind was not able to overpower her heart. It took a lot of effort on her part to avert her stare.  _ This is going to be difficult!  _

 

His warm chuckle didn’t help either.    
“For one, you are not a novice if you choose not to become a paladin. And as for accompanying you, I think it is safe to say that no-one will take offence on it.” He smiled at her. “Even if you were my student there would be no reason for us to stay apart. You can be lectured by a friend, perhaps much as Miss Andrea is doing with Bishop. And a grown woman such as yourself is likely to understand the authority of a teacher, even when said teacher happens to be a friend.”

 

In Ruru's mind, the words  _ no reason for us to stay apart  _ was echoing in Casavir's deep voice over and over like a mantra that only made her heart race faster. For a moment she just wanted to refuse and find her own way, but her heart nudged her towards him. Over and over until she eventually took his arm.  _ Just this once!  _ she told herself sternly.  _ I won't let myself be swoon over when there's no future for us.  _

 

Casavir escorted her to the great hall and just like the day before the food was great. More so was Casavir himself. He conversed with her lightly and Ruru realized she enjoyed it. He was a patient man and listened to her questions and stories. 

“If Master Finnur has found a teacher for you yet I could talk to them and arrange for some training together, if you like. I must say, although you are inexperienced I did enjoy our training together.”

 

Ruru felt embarrassed. She had sucked, but at least she had shown she would not be the one to give up every time she was thrown off balance. And if she was being honest to herself, she had enjoyed those little moments as well, even if they left her sore and bruised. 

"I'm sorry you had to see me like that. I know I'm not a fighter, at least not yet."

 

“There is no need to be ashamed, my lady. We all have to learn before we become better. We all, each man and woman in this room-” he made a gesture towards the other people in the great hall. “- fell, got bruised, scratched and cried from pain or frustration. I know many people think that paladins are without fail, my lady, but we are not. Our will to keep the people around us safe makes us give our best and learn to reduce our failures so that they can rest assured.”

 

Ruru felt humbled, as Casavir's words held wisdom in them. But then she remembered Lady Sonea, whom Casavir had spoken to without formalities. That sting of jealousy stopped her heart bouncing in her chest and it grew cold from the dark thoughts her mind started to form. 

_ But it's all the best. I could never be with this man. I'll probably meet another idiot in the end and end up in a miserable marriage. Or not marry at all. Yeah. I'll be that elusive woman that all men want but no one will ever get! Hah!  _

Ruru quickly took another slice of bread and topped it with some butter and a slice of cheese before biting to it. She chewed thoroughly and swallowed, drinking some tea afterwards. 

"What comes to your suggestion about a training session, I wouldn't mind at all. I think I deserve a good beating again!"

_ A beating that will drive my thoughts of you out of my mind. _

 

“Now, now, my lady, surely you are not suggesting I am beating up defenseless women?” She could hear jest in his words. 

 

Ruru started to laugh wholeheartedly, of course quietly so no one else was disturbed by it. She had chosen her words poorly. 

"I'm sorry. That came out wrong."

 

“I might find it in my heart to forgive you, Rudia.” he stated, still smirking. “On another note: I have been thinking about your situation. Being the only known dragonborn of this age you might have to meddle with more than dragons. I know that you are well-knowledged in politics and history and it will play in your advantage, but that alone will not be enough should the Jarls of Skyrim decide to ask you for your opinion on the war. Once you make a name for yourself they will without a doubt try to pull you on their side. You will need a better defense than a sword and shield for that. I had a conversation with a few fellow paladins last night and we came to the conclusion that even if you chose to not become a paladin, under certain conditions we could bestow the same lessons on you anyway.”

 

Ruru looked slightly surprised. "So you'd make me a paladin without vows", she summarized. Her face was drawn to a suspicious frown. "Is that even allowed? And what if I want to become a fully fledged paladin either way? Of course, I'm still thinking on it."

 

“No, heavens,” he replied. “A paladin has to take their vows and keep them. But a woman with the soul of a dragon, capable of not only killing dragons but also many other would be a dangerous tool in the hands of someone with evil will.” Seeing Ruru’s frown he continued, “Of course I have no doubt in your intentions, Rudia, but anyone can be influenced. Without the proper etiquette it will easily be seen that you are inexperienced in politics, and without the knowledge of the connections between the nobles, their families and business relationships it will be hard for you to see through any scheme that is supposed to lure you in. So we decided to bring this matter in front of the masters and give you the knowledge you will need, should you for one, wish to learn this, and for the other, accept the conditions that come with it.”

 

Ruru sighed. She glanced down at her hands. She tried to remember a time when she only had to care about behaving accordingly and just play her lute. Now she had to learn so many things only because she was the dragonborn. Maybe she had chosen wrong. Maybe she should have just refused and travel back to High Rock and wait for the inevitable end of the world with her family. But it was too late to regret anything. She was here. She would be trained. She would eventually just be a tool. A decoration till used.

"So...." she started as she looked back up. "What are these conditions then?"

 

“I do not know that.” he said quietly. “But I assure you that the order will not make use of your power or your other abilities unless it is necessary to keep people safe. Whatever conditions the masters will decide on you should take your time and think on them. I will be there for you and answer your questions should you need my advice. Just know, my lady, that I have not placed my trust into the Order solely for the reason that I was sent here by my family.”

 

Ruru nodded and fell into pondering silence. 

 

Soon they were joined by Drea and Bishop. This time Bishop held back a bit more while eating. The thought he might be able to always eat as much as he needed made him feel content. He listened to the conversation Drea had with Casavir about paladinhood and vows. Normally he would have frowned on the do-gooders, but over the past few months he slowly had learned so much. Paladins were not out to kill him. Not all of them at least. And if he was completely honest he could do worse for company than the bland paladin. At least he didn’t try to tell Drea that Bishop was bad. Like that other paladin just before they entered the grand hall. He  smiled at the memory of the small woman scolding the large man for being inconsiderate and judging a man by his misfortune. Her words. And when he thought about it, she had done the same to Casavir. 

 

Breakfast was almost over when a boy came to them and quietly asked Casavir something. He nodded and sent the boy on his way before unfolding the note the boy brought. 

“It seems Master Finnur has already chosen a teacher for you, Ruida.” He smiled. “I can accompany you to the training grounds, you are due for your first lesson right after breakfast. As for you, Bishop, you should see the Master in person, Miss Andrea already has an appointment with him, so I suggest you go there together.”

 

Ruru nodded. "Do I need any special gear? My daggers? Or anything?"

 

“I don’t think you will need them.” Casavir said. “Although you might want to prepare to ‘get beaten up’. Lady Sonea will not go easy on you.”

 

_ So it is Casavir's girlfriend that would teach me in combat skills. Perfect.  _ Ruru thought and quickly finished her breakfast. "I'll go get ready then." she said and excused herself.

 

Casavir looked after her. The poor woman was in for a  _ real _ beating. He rubbed his arm absentmindedly. Perhaps it was best to stay with those two during all of the training.

  
  


Only a little later Ruru stood by the training grounds. There were several other paladins and children, that were already training. Some alone, some with a sparring partner. Casavir wore his armor again and once another paladin asked him to spare he left Ruru’s side, telling her to keep a close eye on them.

 

Ruru stood there, watching Casavir and his partner. She couldn't help but marvel how effortlessly the two paladins moved. It was like watching the Dance of Death some of the entertainers performed in front of an audience. It was a dance with swords, very stylish and sometimes dangerous if someone missed a beat. She had witnessed serious injuries during those times, but there was always a healer nearby should anything happen... thank goodness. 

Ruru's eyes were concentrated on Casavir, however. All she could see was him. And it made her feel troubled. She wanted to give up on her feelings. She wanted to forget that kind, considerate man, but she was already too deep in the rabbit hole. 

_ I'm going to suffer for this, right?  _ she pondered as she glanced at her feet.  _ Suffer and become bitter.  _

 

“He seems rusty.” a female voice from her right said. When Ruru looked there was lady Sonea, in full armor and watching Casavir, too.

 

Ruru had a remark on the tip of her tongue but she refrained saying anything. This was her teacher, she should just listen and keep her mouth shut. 

 

The woman turned to her. “Well, I think Cas already told you that I am going to be your teacher. Let’s get started right away. From your adoring looks it is easy to tell you did not notice all the mistakes he made. How much experience do you have?”

 

Ruru looked embarrassed. "Not much. I'm pretty much a fletchling when it comes to fighting."

 

Lady Sonea sighed. “I was afraid you’d say that. Alright, what is your weapon of choice?”

 

Ruru showed her double long daggers, the ones Casavir had recommended for her to use. "I can also use magic to some degree, my lady. Breton blood, and all that."

 

Lady Sonea nodded. “You will learn to use sword and shield.” She called one of the novices over and told him to get a sword and shield for Ruru. Then she turned back to Ruru. “Daggers are simple to use, but from what I hear you want to fight dragons. I will not waste my time teaching you to use a weapon that gets you killed.”

 

Ruru's eyes expressed panic. She could barely lift a sword with two hands, how on earth was this woman expecting her to learn to use a shield and a sword at the same time? But she didn't say her complaints aloud. She only had to obey her teacher. Only had to obey.... and learn, heed and concentrate. Eventually she would be good enough.

 

Casavir had not been lying. Lady Sonea was merciless. The moment Ruru picked up the sword, barely able to lift it, she attacked. The surprised bard fell on her back and the shield on her left arm pulled her arm to the side, so that she was at the mercy of Lady Sonea, who did not care at all. When Ruru didn’t get back up fast enough she pulled the bard’s feet under her body with a swift kick and Ruru landed in the dirt once more. 

If she had thought Casavir to be hard on her then Lady Sonea was a monster. After who knew how long the bard was not only covered in dirt, sweat, tears and snot but also large bruises, scratches and several smaller wounds. She wasn’t even able to move anymore. Some of the novices and paladins had stopped their training and through a veil of tears Ruru could see them looking at her.

 

For a moment she wished the earth would split and swallow her whole. Then as she tried to stand up, her whole body was hit with a wave of incapacitating pain and she just decided to lie there and whimper. 

_ I can't do this. I'm a bard. I'm no soldier. I'm nothing but a pretty voice in a dress. I'm unfit to be a hero.  _ she kept thinking.  _ I'll give up. I'll go back to High Rock and just wait for the world to end.  _

 

She lay there, eyes closed and unable to move. While shame and hurt overtook her she suddenly felt healing magic flow into her body. Her wounds were being mended, but just as she hoped she could get up the healing stopped.

“If this had been a real fight you would be dead by now.” Lady Sonea said. Her voice was calm again, nothing of the aggressive tone from the ‘fight’ was left. “Lucky for you I had no intention of killing you. Lunch will be in half an hour. You should clean yourself before coming to the great hall. Did you hear that?”

 

The only acknowledgement Ruru could give was a small groan.

 

“I asked if you heard me, Miss Rudia.” 

 

Ruru struggled to get back on her feet. She felt like her whole body was being ripped apart as she slowly pulled her legs underneath her body and with the support of her right hand she pushed herself to sit on her legs that felt like they had no strength at all. Using the sword as support she pulled herself to stand, wobbling a moment before she faced the woman who had nearly killed her. She looked at Lady Sonea with flaring eyes. 

"Loud and clear, ma'am."

 

“Good. You are allowed to heal yourself with potions and salves, but not magic. Should I find out you have used magic you will be punished. Go clean yourself now and I expect you back here in the morning. After lunch you will go see Master Finnur in his office.”

 

Ruru limped towards the main building and entered the side door leading to the baths. She was crying from pain and humiliation.  _ This is not what I asked for. I can't do this. I just can't. She should have just killed me there and then. I would have welcomed death with open arms!  _

 

Ruru’s body was aching. Healing potions were expensive. Once more Ruru frowned and thought about the riches those people could afford so easily while she had only one potion. That was it. She had to make more money if she wanted to heal herself. The thought of having to need a potion every day made her panic. No-one of her status could afford that. 

 

She was almost tempted to use healing on herself. Maybe the punishment would be death if she did. That would be mercy. At least then those oh-so-high-and-mighty nobles would be left sucking their thumbs once the dragons would come and devour their riches in the last hours of the world. 

"You know what. Screw it!" she said and healed the bruises and wounds with her magic. "If she has some sadistic need to beat the hell out of me, then so be it. I don't care!" Ruru declared rebelliously as she kept healing herself in the bath. "It can't get any worse."

 

Her punishment came earlier than she had expected. No lunch for her. But what was worse was the disappointed look on Casavir’s face.

 

Ruru accepted it. She could tolerate hunger. If they wanted so badly to torture her, she could take it. They would only suffer themselves once she was dead and about to be destroyed by dragons. She would prove that her will was stronger than this. 

_ Or maybe... I could end it during the dark of night.  _

 

Standing at the side, not allowed to leave the great hall until Lady Sonea said so, she thought all kinds of spiteful things. Even more so when Casavir ignored her and talked to that brutal bitch like she was a good person. Drea and Bishop were nowhere to be seen and suddenly she felt alone. Why had she even come here? 

Someone pulled on her dress.

 

Ruru glanced to her side with a frown. 

 

A boy, barely reaching to her chest pushed a small round metal box into her hand and whispered. “Don’t tell anyone.” 

He was gone before she could even realize what was going on. 

 

Ruru frowned even more.  _ Was this a joke?  _ She discreetly glanced at the box and inspected it.

 

The box was nothing special, but it was labelled. Then Ruru got it. The boy had given her a healing salve. She didn’t know why, but after lunch three more novices came to her giving her boxes that were exactly like the one the boy had given her.

 

Ruru took the little gifts and stored them carefully in her things. Maybe.... just maybe she might pull through. Maybe. Or die. It wouldn't matter to her if she did. She would only laugh from the realm of Arkay as she saw the world burn. 

As promised, after lunch Ruru wandered to the master's office.

 

Word seemed to get around fast here. She caught another lecture from Master Finnur, although he was much more considerate.Then the old man began to inform her in detail about the order and her studies. Ruru heard that the salves that she still hid in her pockets were handed out to all novices and Paladins for their usage. 

“There is one salve per person a month.” He pushed over another of the boxes. “Remember that if you use it up you will not be allowed another for the rest of the month, so use it wisely. Using your healing magic is something that will help you in a real fight, but here we teach our students to go to their limits. You might think it cruel, unnecessary or whatnot, but try to see the wisdom in it. In a fight you will get hurt. No matter how good you become there will always be someone who is better. And a paladin, in your case a warrior I suppose, has to stay strong even when he is wounded and unable to use magic.” He paused.

“I know that Lady Sonea is not a gentle teacher. You might find yourself wondering why she is so hard on you. And you might find that she is not as heartless as you think right now.”

 

Ruru clenched her fists. She was frustrated. How on earth could these people expect her to survive beating after beating with nothing but salves? She'd rather starve than hurt all over.

"So, you expect me to be beaten to the ground over and over again, with nothing but expensive salves and potions to aid me. I call that brutal torture. And Lady Sonea... she's a freaking sadomasochist! I told her I was not even a beginner and she went all out!" she exclaimed utterly offended. All these nobles just thought they could walk all over her like this. 

"I think I'll return to High Rock and laugh when you fight a hopeless fight against dragons that will eventually devour your riches and castles like it's nothing but ash!"

Ruru knew she was letting her pride get ahead of herself. She knew she would be punished for being so arrogant. She knew well enough that she would receive no mercy for this. Maybe she was digging her own grave right now. She was angry and frustrated. She had been pushed over her limits and this is how she reacted. 

 

“If that is your decision.” Master Finnur said calmly. “You are allowed to spend the night here. Should you change your mind then you can come to my office until noon tomorrow. You are dismissed.”

 

Ruru made a curtsey and exited the office. She headed straight to her and Drea's room and started packing. She would not stay here a minute longer. She could ride to the Imperial City, play her lute and earn money to afford a cabin on a ship. She would go back home. She would stay there. She would be happy at least. 

 

A knock on the door made her jolt up. 

 

She pushed her half packed backpack under the bed and made herself somewhat presentable. She sat down and hastily took a book in her hands, opening it somewhere in the middle. "Enter!" she called.

 

The door opened and Casavir stepped into the room. He knew something was off. Ruru should have been with the Master right now, talking about her future in the Order. It was possible after the beating she had gotten she wanted to throw it. Every student of Sonea had wanted to at some point. He closed the door and placed a plate with some bread, cheese and meat on the small side table next to Ruru. 

“You must be hungry.”

 

Before Ruru could even open her mouth to answer, her stomach rumbled loudly. "No. Not at all." she lied anyway.

 

“How confusing.” he replied with a small smile. “I had always thought a growling stomach implies hunger.”

For a moment he glanced at her. 

“You had a rough morning, my lady, but I hope you will not run away now. I know Miss Andrea would miss you greatly and so would I.”

 

Ruru ignored the little jump her heart made as she took the plate and broke little piece of the bread and cheese and slowly ate them. 

"What makes you think I'm running away? I think it's purely my own decision what I do, is it not?" she said sarcastically. "To be honest, I never would have thought you allow sadists like your lady friend reside in your order."

It was obvious she was upset. Her behaviour spoke louder than anything.

 

Casavir was silent for a long time. His voice was quiet when he spoke again.

“Do you truly believe Sonea enjoyed inflicting you pain?” 

 

Ruru was on the brink of tears, but she swallowed them. She could not allow Casavir to see her being such a child.

"It sure seemed that way", she snapped angrily. "I thought I was going to die, and you.... you did nothing to stop her! Did you enjoy it too? Watch me getting struck down again and again and again! You are all sick!"

She was shouting now, and the tears she had tried hard to swallow were streaming down her cheeks. 

"I should have never come here!" she screamed. "I should have never met you!"

 

Her words hurt him. It was obvious.

“Perhaps I should leave you to yourself for now. Forgive me, Rudia, I thought you were wiser than that.”

Before she could answer he had already left the room.

  
  


Ruru cried her anger and frustration out of her system. And once her tears dried down, she washed her face and continued packing. She wrapped the leftover bread and cheese inside a cloth and filled a small waterskin with fresh water for the journey to the capital of Cyrodiil. Wise or not, she just couldn't handle this kind of brutality more than once. She'd had enough.

  
  


Meanwhile Casavir headed for the gardens. He felt unsure on why her words hurt him so much. It was not like he hadn’t expected her to curse, to cry, to scream or even wish the worst of the world on Sonea and the Order. 

_ You’re all sick! _

It hurt. He knew she didn’t mean it, he knew once she calmed down she would apologize. Yet the mere thought of her hating him, even just in anger, made his heart heavy.

He sat down and looked at the oaks around him, trying to find his inner peace. She was so much like a child when she got angry. Much like Miss Andrea. Or Bishop. Perhaps it was because they had all been raised differently. But could she really believe he, Sonea or anyone in the Order wanted her harm?


	16. Chapter 16

Eventually Ruru exited her room. She wore her traveling clothes, her daggers properly sheathed and crossed at the back of her hips. She carried her backpack and walked towards the stables to saddle her horse. The horse Casavir had bought her after Milka had died. She didn't care about anything but to leave this place as soon as possible. This fortress of torture. 

 

She ignored the quiet voices in her head, telling her she was being inconsiderate, telling her she should turn back, telling her she should apologize. She hurried Gelda into a fast trot, then gallop. Just away, away from all this. 

 

By nightfall she arrived at a small inn. After feeding Gelda, she entered the little tavern and asked if it was proper for her to earn the room if she played her lute for the patrons.

 

As it was custom the innkeeper nodded and threw in a hot meal in exchange for her service.

 

And so Ruru played, pouring her every emotion to every note she strummed or sang. This is what she was made for. To entertain, to bring joy and make the drinks go down faster. She was no warrior, she was not meant to save the whole world. 

Maybe it was the lack of confidence in her skills to be something more. Maybe it was the fact that she had let herself to fall for a man that allowed her to be beaten to near death, and then act like it was alright. She had thought highly of paladins because of Casavir, but now that she knew what kind of torture it was, she just couldn't continue that path. She only now understood why Bishop felt the way he did about zealots like them. 

But yes, it was better this way. She would just watch the world burn. 

 

The next morning Ruru was on the road again. Her heart felt heavy, and she really couldn't pinpoint the reason. She thought she would feel better after leaving, but this was not so. Maybe she had gone too far what she she had said to Casavir...  _ NO! Stop thinking about him! He's the very reason why you are here in the first place!  _

That was not true, obviously, but it was easier to blame someone else than her own foolishness. She let Gelda gallop slowly along the road, ignoring that little voice in her head telling her that she just should go back while there was still time. 

But, as stubborn as Ruru was, she didn't heed that little voice in her head. She ignored the aching in her chest, and everything else. 

_ I'm going back to High Rock!  _ she told herself.  _ I'm going back home and staying there!  _

 

That evening she spent in another inn before the Imperial City. She played to the patrons, earned a meal and a room to stay. But no matter how soothingly she played, her heart was heavier and heavier with every passing moment. 

The next morning it was raining. She pulled over a leather cloak to avoid getting completely soaked and she rode towards the capital city of Cyrodiil. The sheer size of the city in the distance made her heart jump a bit. How on earth would she be able to find her way in there when she'd never really been there? Only heard and seen pictures of it. 

She rode over the bridge leading to the city and after explaining her reasons to be there to the guards, she was allowed entrance to the city. Her first mission was to find a decent inn where she could stay, perform and earn money to afford her journey back to High Rock. 

She dismounted, took the reins and walked Gelda beside her while walking along the streets of the busy capital. 

"I wonder if they are already looking for me?" she thought aloud before shaking her head. "No.... I don't think they care. They just want fresh meat to beat up."

  
  


Ruru didn’t know how wrong she was. When Drea got back to their room and found all of Ruru’s things gone she went to Casavir and asked if they had given Ruru a new room. Casavir had stared at Drea for a moment before rushing out and after asking around and seeing Gelda gone from the stables, too, Drea had begun to cry. There was nothing much any of them could do. Ruru had left nothing, neither a note nor something of herself with which they could track her. ‘Back to High Rock’ was not something they could really use to find her as none of them knew what farm she had grown up on. 

“Why would she just leave us?” Drea cried. “She just left.”

 

Bishop held Drea close and tried to comfort her, though he really didn't know how. 

"That stupid woman", he cursed under his breath before he continued with a louder voice. "I bet she realized how much of a hypocrite your Order really is, no offence."

 

“It is not the order’s fault.” Casavir said. He should have stopped her. He should have done...something…

 

Bishop rubbed his forehead for a moment. "Alright, let's think. She said.... or rather to be more specific, threatened to leave to go back to High Rock. Now how would she accomplish that the fastest way?"

 

“Go west?” Drea offered, not convinced.

“Yes.” Casavir said. “But we won’t reach her, even if by chance we take the same route as her. She is not only on horseback, but also is Gelda a good breed. She can go far without needing rest.”

 

Bishop groaned. "Perfect. So, what now? I mean, yeah, I could try and track her, but considering she had a head start.... her trail is probably run cold."

  
  


The days passed and with them Drea’s hope Ruru might calm down and come back got smaller and smaller. Casavir had told them exactly what happened, admitting he had left Ruru to herself after she had called him ‘sick’ along with everyone else in the order. 

Drea and even Bishop understood that he could not have done much. But that didn’t change how much he blamed himself. He should have explained it to her. He should have done more than offering his help, his advice and his friendship. Just what?

  
  


"Oi, lass", a patron called and Ruru raised her eyes and looked at him with a question. 

"Can ye play anything from good ol' High Rock?" 

Ruru revealed a sweet, nostalgic smile, realizing the sea captain with a short orange hair, neat moustache and rather... gleamy eyes shared the same homeland. With that note, she strummed an overture and started to play a ballad, and the sea captain joined with his rough voice, waving his mug according to the beat of the song. 

After the song was over, the sea captain called Ruru over and though she was hesitant at first, she felt like she could trust this man.

"I be Armand, the captain of The Ebenezer", the man was obviously flirting with her, but she didn't mind.

"It is a pleasure, my ser. I'm Rudia, and I'm just a bard."

The man was looking at her inspectingly. "Just a bard, ye say? Why me guts tell me yer more than just that, lass? I mean, of course, I can see yer beauty. Reminds me of home. The sea."

Ruru shrugged. "It's who I am, kind ser."

Armand guffawed and poured wine from the jug left on the table. "Aye, modesty is a trait I like in women. But what brings a fellow breton here in the Imperial City? Ye know what, fair lass, why don't we dine together on me ship."

That got Ruru a bit wary. The sea captain noticed this.

"Ah, fear ye not, fair lass. I be on me best behaviour." he winked at her. "Ye have nothing to fear from me or me crew."

Ruru was still unsure. It could have been a trap, but considering the captain was offering her a free meal, on his own ship... and he didn't seem all that dangerous.... even though his eyes were a bit too gleamy....  _ Like that vampire's... _

"If... if I have your word that I won't be kidnapped and smuggled to the next slave market..." Ruru started and Armand laughed.

"I hunt shiny booty, I deal not human lives."

Ruru giggled. "Then I accept your offer."

 

The dinner was set in the captain's cabin, on a large table. The cutlery and the dishes were silver and gold, and the goblets were decorated with expensive jewels. Ruru had dressed to look at her best. She had put on some makeup to frame her eyes and face, and she had combed her hair and left it free. Her dress was that of silk, the one she had worn on the day of the attack in Helgen. 

As they dined, they spoke about this and that, and more and more Ruru relaxed in Armand's presence. He was an easy person to talk to. And he even revealed to be a vampire, which by now didn't really surprise her. 

Ruru, in return, told about her being the dragonborn, which made Armand look at her awestruck. Ruru also revealed why she had come to Cyrodiil in the first place and why she had run away. 

"Hmm, I understand yer predicament, fair lass", Armand sympathized. "But yer actions might cost ye dearly."

"But I won't stay there and be beaten to the ground over and over again and be left sore with broken bones! That's.... inhumane! It's sadistic! I want to learn how to fight, not be a rug you can smack dust out of!"

Armand nodded, still pondering. "Ye know what, lass. If ye stay on this ship, I'll train ye. I will be gentle at first, but as ye get better, I'll be harsher. What ye say? That way you can show them what you are able to do."

Ruru frowned a bit. "How long will that take?"

Armand shrugged. "It's all up to ye. Consider it a favour to the man who once owned that ring."

Ruru's eyes shot wide open and she dug the string that held the silver ring she had taken from that vampire Casavir had killed. She had meant to return it... but she had lied about it. 

"You knew him?" she asked quietly.

"Aye. He's an old and dear friend." Armand nodded.

Ruru's eyes grew sad. "I'm sorry, but he's...."

Armand shook his head. "The final death comes to all of us. There was nothing ye could do. Lucias once told me that if I saw that ring on anyone, he asked me to help them. That is... anyone else but Siena."

Ruru looked confused and Armand only brushed her questioning look away. 

"Just enjoy yer dinner, fair lass. Tomorrow I'll begin yer training."

  
  


And so a strange time began for Ruru. If anyone would have asked her the later years how she learned how to fight they would not have believed the truth. Captain Armand was a patient teacher. It only took him three months to get Ruru into shape. He taught her with the daggers, yes, but also he showed her how to fight with a rapier. In late autumn Armand brought the young woman back to the Imperial City. She had gained a few small muscles during her time on the ship as well as a really good sense for motion. Armand gave the lass a friendly hug before he followed his crew to the next bar. He would miss the spunky lass with the pretty voice.

But who knew… one always met twice in life…

  
  


With her newly gained skills and confidence, Ruru decided to write to the Order of the Oak. She designated the letter to Master Finnur, but she also wrote short apologies to Drea and Casavir. She sent the letters off before she headed to an inn and earned her room and meal whilst playing her lute and waited for an answer....

 

The answer came only five days later when her performance was disrupted by a wild Drea who flung herself at the bard. “You stupid, mean, bad, mean, silly, mean Ruru!” 

 

Ruru almost fell over and dropped her lute. "Drea! If my lute breaks, you'll buy me a new one!"

 

“So you’re going to buy her a new heart?” Bishop asked, appearing behind Drea. “She cried her eyes out when you left.”

 

Ruru averted her eyes. "And I apologized, didn't I? I'll do it again if I must. But that torture chamber drove me out! How can they expect someone like me just take a beating every morning and not be able to heal myself afterwards, huh? That's how you get permanent deformities to your body that hinder your fighting prowess."

 

That was when Ruru realized Casavir was there, too. 

“You never used the salve, I assume.” He looked at her and his voice sounded sad and there was..hurt... in his eyes.

 

It was that moment when everything stopped. Ruru stared at Casavir with widened eyes, and her emotions shifted from happiness to sadness to confusion and fear. There was also panic. 

The time she had spent with Armand had made her forget about Casavir. She had been able to set her heart at ease, but now... seeing the man right there made her heart throb. 

She quickly pulled away from Drea's embrace, turned around to not show the man of her longing. She had many sarcastic remarks on the tip of her tongue, but no voice to say them. For a moment she just wanted to leap into his arms and hold him, but at the same time she wanted to run away and make her heart forget again.

"At that time I had none. I only had enough coins for one potion and that barely did the trick. It's so easy when you have all the money you can spend as a noble, isn't it?"

 

“But it is all different!” Drea said. “You need to let Casavir tell you about it!”

She pulled Ruru to an empty table in the corner and waved the two men over with a determined face.

 

Ruru stumbled along and sat down. There was a little voice in her head scolding her for sending those letters, but what was done, was done. She avoided looking at Casavir at all costs. Because she wanted to forget.

"Geez, you are one stubborn idiot", Bishop said as he sat down. As the waitress came to them, Bishop ordered tea and some snacks for everyone.

 

“Tell her, Casavir!” Drea demanded. 

The paladin who usually had been so open and confident visibly rang with himself. 

Drea pouted.”Tell her, dammit! It wasn’t your fault!”

 

"Correction: Make it two stubborn idiots", Bishop stated with a sarcastic smirk.

 

Only then Casavir began to speak.

“There… there has been a misunderstanding.” He swallowed. You see, I was supposed to give you some salve before your training.”

“But he didn’t know!” Drea chimed in. 

Casavir nodded, carefully looking at Ruru. “I thought you would be given some to heal yourself.”

 

Ruru still avoided looking at Casavir. If she glanced at that direction, she made sure to look past him, not at him. 

"Uh-huh", came the disappointed hum. 

 

Casavir’s shoulders sank even further.

“Don’t be like that, Ruru! Tell her! About- Ah, forget i! I’ll tell her!” Drea was visibly upset. 

“You see, the salve they use at the order is special. Is cures wounds like a potion would, but it does not heal your exhaustion.” Drea explained. “They want to teach the novices not only how to fight, but also they have to learn how to deal with exhaustion. Healing magic heals you and your exhaustion, so it is forbidden. Potions are allowed, but they cost money and the novices are only allowed a certain amount of money each month. So if they use a potion they will have less money to spend on their free time. Only those who use the salve keep their money, but they have to deal with the exhaustion.”

Drea looked at Ruru directly. 

“Casavir thought you had the salve, so did Lady Sonea, which is why she told you not to use magic.”

 

Ruru frowned. "That's real cute excuse to say now. But, whatever. It doesn't matter."

Bishop groaned. "Can I smack her?"

 

Drea looked at Ruru with a frown. “Don’t you get it?! No-one wanted to hurt you! It was a misunderstanding and everyone is sorry about it! Lady Sonea almost lost her-”

“It is my fault. I should have informed Miss Rudia about the Order in detail.” Casavir interrupted Drea. “I am to blame for this misunderstanding, no-one else.” He looked at Ruru. “I am truly sorry, my lady. I never meant for this to happen to you. If I could I would take it back, but I can’t.” His voice broke at the last words.

 

Ruru tried to harden her heart. She knew she was being stubborn. Far too much so. She could feel her heart breaking when she heard Casavir's voice crack. And only then did she face his gaze. That sincere, a little lost steel-blue hued look that had always haunted her dreams during this time apart. It was all thanks to Armand keeping her busy enough to make her forget and concentrate on the training he provided her. Armand had been kind enough to gift her a rapier, telling her that she could almost use a light shield along with it, or magic, however she wished to fight. 

But now.... she felt just as lost. And the throbbing of her heart got worse. 

"What's done is done", Ruru said coldly before her tone became a little warmer. "But I hold no grudge. Actually, I should thank Lady Sonea and you. Because of this incident I was able to meet someone from home and learn a few new tricks."

 

“You should not thank him! You should apologize!” Drea demanded. She had not forgotten all the times Casavir had asked if he had acted wrong, if he deserved Ruru’s spiteful words. Casavir had blamed himself so much when Ruru had called him  _ sick _ . And Drea felt it was not fair.

 

Ruru looked confused. "I already did in my letter. If it's not enough, I can sit on my knees on the stone floor to show my sincerity."

 

“Can I smack her?” Bishop asked again. “Dammit, bard, you can’t be  _ that _ stupid. The paladin basically cried his eyes out, he refused to eat during the day and-”

Casavir shrunk with each word.

“-and you refuse to give him a simple apology from the bottom of your heart about calling him a word that would have come from a bastard like me?”

 

Ruru stood up, walked over to Casavir and extended her right hand while she stared into his eyes. 

"For all that I did and said, I apologize. Forgive me. I know when I'm upset I tend to be..." she seemed to stop to think for a good word.

"Stupid", Bishop added almost immediately.

"- rather uncaring what I say." Ruru finished. 

 

Casavir wanted to forgive her, but he was unsure how to show it. He extended his hand to her, too.

“Hug!” Drea demanded.

 

Ruru's cheeks flared and she quickly shook Casavir's hand before returning to sit down.

 

Drea frowned, but not for long as Bishop pulled her into a hug and kissed her. 

Casavir quickly picked up his tea and kept himself occupied with the hot drink.

 

Ruru glanced at Bishop and Drea and saw how close they had gotten over the past few months. She smiled and drank tea as well, avoiding any eye contact with Casavir. She just wanted to forget about him. Wanted, but couldn't. Not when her heart was bouncing in her ribcage.

 

They sat together until the food came. The mood was almost icy to say the least. Drea didn’t like it. “Can’t you just make up?” She sounded annoyed. 

 

Ruru looked confused. "We did."

 

“That isn’t enough!” Drea pouted. 

Bishop grinned. “We should force them to kiss.”

Drea looked at him confused. 

“You know, you always forgive me when I kiss you.” he stated as his grin grew wider. “Then again the bard probably doesn’t even know how that works.”

 

Ruru cleared her throat and tried to hide her flusterdness. "I-I know how to kiss!"

 

“Prove it.”

 

Ruru stood up, her face was redder than the tomatoes in her salad. "I... I... I need to use the restroom...." she excused herself and scurried off before anyone could stop her.

 

Casavir was at least as flustered as Ruru and excused himself, too.

 

“Great.” Drea stated. 

 

Bishop was still grinning. "All those doe-eyes she threw at him back when.... she'll thank me later!"

 

“She didn’t seem to be all that thankful.” Drea said frustrated. 

  
  


In the restroom Ruru rinsed her face for the tenth time to calm herself. She then paced around, with millions of thoughts scattering around in her skull, too quick for her to grasp a single one. Her heart was racing and she didn't know what to do. If it wasn't three months later, she'd done as Bishop had said and taken her chance to finally kiss the man she loved. But this was three months later, she had struggled to forget, and for a moment she had been able to do so, until now. 

Casavir was back in her life like an annoying itch under her skin she was unable to mend. It irritated her. That she was unable to stop herself from yearning. It had always been so easy, so why not now? Why couldn't she do it now?

But no matter how many times she asked herself this question, no answer came. After fifteen minutes she returned to the others, but instead of joining them to the table, she started to play to keep herself occupied.

 

Casavir had returned to Bishop and Drea just before Ruru had come out and now the two did their best to comfort and distract the man. Which meant Bishop ordered the strongest brew there was and telling Casavir to drink. And Casavir accepted it. It had been a rough couple of months for him and he knew they would take care of him. Like they had in those past months. It irritated him what Miss Rudia didn’t want to understand that he honestly never would willingly hurt her. He had trained her just the same way that Sonea had and she had never complained. He downed the short drink and watched Ruru return. Why did she hate him? Had he acted so wrongly? Had he done something unforgivable by not making sure she had everything she could need? Bishop refilled his glass and they drank again. Maybe she wanted to hate him. Bishop ordered some strong mead for them and pulled Drea close. How was it that those two were so close and forgave each other for their mistakes? Casavir drank from the mead and before finishing his thoughts about Bishop and Drea his bottle was empty. Drinking in moderation was one thing, having to deal with a stubborn dragonborn a whole nother. He tried to immerse himself into the conversation about physical arrows versus magical arrows. Without noticing it a few more rounds landed on their tab and the conversation turned to another topic…

 

Ruru stubbornly kept entertaining the crowd for the rest of the evening. Bishop and Casavir eventually got too drunk for Drea to keep up with their babbling and she decided to bring them to bed. It was easier to start with Bishop. He stumbled along next to her, remarking on her being a nice pillow before they vanished upstairs. 

Casavir’s drunken mind wandered to Ruru, along with his eyes. 

 

Ruru's gaze only briefly visited Casavir's own and then she began to sing Dragonborn Comes. 

 

Casavir hummed along in his mind, too drunk to understand any of the words. Then he laughed. It wash funny, because she wash no Nord. So it wash anci-anchint Breton art… 

 

Ruru continued for a while till she stopped and received both coin and applause for her performance. She thanked with a radiant smile and polite curtseys before she decided it was about time she retired.

Her gaze wandered over to Casavir. The poor man. It was obvious Bishop had made him drink so much it was a miracle he was still conscious. Feeling sorry, and because she was far too considerate, she walked over to Casavir. 

"You should go to sleep. Here, you can lean on me."

 

He looked at her for a few seconds, slowly comprehending her words. Then they walked upstairs. He moved linkish, his drunken mind still reminding he had to keep a polite distance. 

Drea caught them in the corridor. “Oh, you already… that room.” She pointed.

 

Ruru nodded to her friend and carefully helped Casavir inside. She watched as the man stumbled to bed and slumped on top. Ruru rubbed her forehead. 

"Casavir, at least try to take off your armor", she said quietly. A memory of something similar happening in her youth as a student popped to surface. It was one of those moments with Alec. He had drunk himself senseless and was unable to go to the dormitory. She had ended up taking care of him till morning. 

"Casavir, take off your armor, I'll be right back with some medicine." Ruru said and exited the room and hurried downstairs.

 

Of course Casavir didn’t. it was not right to get naked when a woman would come back to his room. Drea gave her best to at least take the armor off, but he refused to take off the rest. Eventually Ruru returned.

 

Ruru had a vial in her hands. A potion to counter the terrible after effects the knight would have in the morning. 

"Casavir, drink this", Ruru pleaded as she opened the cork and helped Casavir to drink.

 

Casavir eyes the liquid. “I’m sowwy…” he said, obviously thinking Ruru meant to poison him for his mistake. “I’ll neve... nevar...-”

“Shush, Casavir.” Drea said. “Drink the medicine or I tell Ruru what you did with your arm.”

To Ruru’s surprise the man eyed the liquid again and then decided it was better to be poisoned.

 

Ruru glanced at Drea with a question. "His arm?" she questioned inaudibly.

 

Drea shook her head as a sign it was the wrong time. 

“Sleep now, Casavir, we’re right next door.” She said, carefully pushing the paladin to lie in the bed. Then she walked to the door. 

 

Ruru glanced at Casavir worriedly, but then she followed Drea outside.

 

“You shouldn’t have blamed him and then left like this.” Drea said. “Wherever you were, whatever  _ tricks _ you’ve learned, I don’t think it was worth hurting him so much. I thought you liked him. Did it not occur to you that he liked you too? That it would hurt him when you tell him he is a monster?” She looked at Ruru with hurt in her eyes.

 

That hit Ruru harder than any blow Lady Sonea or Casavir, or any of the draugr or dragon or monster had given her. She couldn't believe her own ears. She had always thought that Casavir would be out of her reach, that her infatuation would be doomed from the start. She basically bended in two, and the pain made her gasp for air. 

"But he... he always kept his distance.  _ I  _ was the one throwing doe-eyes at him..." Ruru whimpered. "And yes, I liked him. But right now I don't even know what I feel for him."

 

“And because he didn’t throw doe-eyes back at you you think treating him like trash was right? Does it matter how much he likes you? He considered you a friend. And you trampled all over him.” Drea was really angry. It was easy to see.

 

Ruru just wrapped her arms around herself to stop her body bursting in half. She'd been so wrong. She had been so angry, so frustrated. And she had just gone over the edge and taken it out on him. She didn't deserve anyone. Not a man like Casavir, not anyone.  _ She  _ was the monster.

She hurried to her room without saying anything. She didn't want Drea to see her breakdown.

 

Drea sighed. She didn’t want for Ruru to cry. But she had to know. Perhaps it was enough to get her thinking. And perhaps come morning they would all make up properly and things would get better. She turned around and joined Bishop in bed. Of course she didn’t get any sleep with his drunken snoring…

  
  


Ruru didn't know when she had fallen asleep. She had bawled like a child into her pillow and when she next opened her eyes, the morning light stung and her pillow was so moist it felt yucky. She felt miserable. And for a good reason. She had messed it all up. She had hurt the man she loved... had loved... however she wanted to take it. 

With a bit of fresh water and refreshing oil she washed her face, combed her hair and put it on a knot at the back of her head. She only now realized that her hair had grown since summer. But she didn't want to cut it. She had always thought that men liked long hair on women. 

She opened the door and went downstairs for breakfast.

 

In the same corner as the night before her friends sat. Bishop and Casavir looked like they had headaches, which was no surprise to Ruru, but Drea looked just as bad.

 

Ruru sighed and joined them. "Good morning", she greeted, knowing well that she would get sarcastic remarks about 'scientific proof' or something like that.

 

Bishop groaned, Drea replied with a tired ‘Good morning’ in return and Casavir made space for her on the bench, mumbling something she didn’t quite get. But it didn’t sound hostile.

 

Ruru sat down and ordered a hearty breakfast for a change. All of a sudden she missed the food she had eaten on the Ebenezer. But that was then, now was now. She poured tea for herself.

"So, uhm...." she started, but could not find a topic to discuss. She was still a little overwhelmed by everything.

 

Drea looked at her, as did Casavir. Bishop occupied himself with his scrambled eggs.

“The morning after.” Drea stated with a slightly awkward grin. Bishop grunted and Casavir looked flustered.

 

They ate in silence. Eventually Casavir broke the silence by asking Ruru if she wanted some more tea. He felt silly about it, especially because her cup was still half full, but he did not know anything better to break the heavy silence between them. 

 

Ruru cleared her throat to hide the chuckle and quickly drank the tea and offered the cup to Casavir. "Yes, thank you."

 

Drea smiled slightly. She was tired and it was not what it used to be, but it was a beginning. She ordered another bottle of juice and poured some for everyone. Things would get better. Old wounds could mend. After all the best example sat right next to her.

She bent over and placed a soft kiss on Bishop’s cheek. He looked up from his plate and although his head hurt a smile drew across his face. 

“I love you.” Drea said with a happy smile.

 

Despite his pounding head, Bishop kissed Drea as an answer. That exchange surprised Ruru. And she wondered if she'd ever have anything like that.  _ Probably not. Most likely not. Nope, definitely impossible.  _

Ruru ate her breakfast in silence. She knew there would be a very long road awaiting her.

 

Once Drea saw Ruru was done with her breakfast she asked her to come with Drea. 

“Where you going?” Bishop pouted as her warmth left his side.

“Talking about woman things.” Drea just replied. She lead Ruru to their room upstairs so they could talk in peace. 

 

Ruru sat down on the chair, and silently wondered how far Drea and Bishop were in their relationship. They seemed so close.... and she envied them, though she didn't show it. It was her own fault for not even considering to stay in the fort. 

_ What's done is done. What once was happy is sad. Never love again, because the world is ending. _ She recited the famous poem she had read a long time ago inside her head. And even though it was an old poem, it fit the situation so perfectly it was almost uncanny.

"You and Bishop are pretty close now. Glued together, so to speak." she stated calmly. "It must be nice...."

 

“Don’t try to distract.” Drea said. “There is something else I want to talk about. You wrote a letter. But what was your intent? Just telling us that you can live without us? Or did you want to come back to the order?”

 

Ruru really hadn't thought about it. "I just wanted to let you know where I was."

 

“Well. now we know. What now?” Drea pressured. 

 

"I don't know", Ruru replied. 

 

“You better find out then.” Drea said. “You know, I get that you feel like things are broken, but all things can be fixed given time. At least this one. But if that’s not what you want…” Drea shrugged somewhat helpless.

 

But the thing was, Ruru didn't know what was it that she wanted now that she was woken to reality from which she escaped on the deck of the Ebenezer and in Captain Armand's training. Now that she was here again, seeing her friends, knowing that there was a world out there facing a growing crisis that had so many forms, some more evil than others... She really didn't know. Should she pursue being the dragonborn? Should she accept the training.... if the order agreed to give her one anymore... and become a warrior whose name would be on everyone's lips. 

Should she allow herself to become a tool to the Jarls in the war that was raging already, tearing the province of Skyrim apart? Should she leave the world to its fate? There might be a few good years to live.... 

"What I want.... is something I cannot have. I do not know how kindly the Order would take me, should I return and accept training."

 

“Would it hurt to ask them for it?”

 

"Maybe not. But in case they refuse, I'll return to High Rock and watch the whole world burn. I don't need to mess with politics, I can see my family one final time and just be that farmgirl I was so many years ago."

 

Drea was a little shocked. Of course she had heard Ruru think about running away before and perhaps she shouldn’t be surprised after Ruru now had run away and left a mess. But she had hoped her friend would understand more by now. 

“So if they refuse to teach you you would just let all of us suffer?” she asked quietly. “Don’t misunderstand, me, Ruru. You are the one making the calls in your own life, but try to ask yourself the question: Do you really want to see the farm of your family burn by dragon fire, knowing you could have stopped that before it happened? Skyrim was just the beginning. There were two dragon attacks at the fort while you were who-knows-where. If you think they will stop at your home, just because you could have killed them you are dead wrong.”

Drea stood up and left Ruru alone. She was disappointed in her friend’s reaction. Being afraid of being a hero, yes she understood that, but wanting to leave the world and everyone in it to get hurt and die just because mistakes were made… that was just wrong. 

She got back to Bishop and Casavir who were still giving their best to get rid of the pain in their heads. “Any tea left?”

 

Bishop was kind enough to refill her cup. 

"So how is that runaway idiot handling everything?" he mocked. "Should we just leave her here?"

 

“I thinks she needs a little more time.” Drea sighed. “She… is...” She threw a short look to Casavir. “...not exactly considerate right now. I guess this whole dragonborn thing is just growing and growing and growing for her. In the way a tumor does.” 

Another sigh. 

“I guess we won’t have it easy if we want to support her. But… I don’t know. It feels wrong to just leave. I say we give her a few days and see how it goes. And I would like to see my family while we are here.” She glanced at Bishop. “What do you say?”

 

Bishop nodded slightly. "I don't mind. You've told me much about them and I'm curious."

Of course that was not really true. Inside he panicked. He wasn’t exactly the kind of man her parents would want for her, was he? Someone like Casavir, always, but Bishop? Even if he didn’t become a monster once a month, he was just a ranger. What he knew of manners was what she had taught him and if they found out he couldn’t even read…

“Don’t worry, Bishop.” Drea kissed him. “They’ll like you as long as you try to be polite and keep Karnwyr from pissing in the living room.” She grinned at him. 

 

Bishop grinned back somewhat awkwardly.

“Really, Bishop. Just be you.” She turned to Casavir. “We should all go. With Ruru. Perhaps the atmosphere will give her a chance to make up her mind. And I think my family could use the extra hands for the harvest, if you don’t mind helping out.”

 

Casavir nodded. He didn’t mind helping out. 

 

Bishop seemed to agree as well. "I don't mind either."

 

Drea smiled and gave him another kiss. She didn’t say it, but she felt nervous, too. Many years ago she had introduced her first boyfriend to them, but that was then and Bishop was not exactly the kind of man who always knew how to behave. And he was a werewolf. She tried to calm herself with the thought that her parents would understand once they heard he had no family to teach them manners and such. And after all he was behaving quite alright most of the time now. And if the werewolf topic would come up… well Casavir was a paladin. If they’d believe her to be blinded by infatuation Casavir could tell them it was safe enough. 

 

Ruru came down after a while had passed and she started her daily performance. She still didn't know what to do. Which path to take and walk.

 

After the first song Drea waved her over. “We’ll be visiting my family. Pack your things.”

 

Ruru frowned and looked at Drea with a question.

 

“You heard me.” Drea said. “You’re coming with us.”

 

Ruru opened her mouth to protest, but Bishop was faster to chime in. 

"Either you pack up or you cry and pack up. It's up to you,  _ kid. _ " he sounded almost threatening as he glared at Ruru with a piercing stare. "If you ask me, you deserve a good spanking for all the trouble you gave us when you ran away like a teenager!"

Ruru looked furious, but instead saying anything, she stomped upstairs.

 

Drea thought about it for a moment and then packed it in the category  _ Bishop's going to be a good father.  _ She rewarded him with another kiss and Casavir laughed a little. Those two were a sweet couple. Neither of them was perfect but they completed each other in a way. He could only hope that one day he’d meet someone like that. 

Once Ruru came down again, still giving them death glares, they finished their tea and got going.

 

Ruru saddled Gelda in angry silence and walked her out of her stall before mounting her. 

"Which way?" she asked.

"If you plan on running the opposite way, don't even think about it, kid. You're coming with us, like it or not. We can always tie you up as well." Bishop said with authority. "Seriously, you're such an idiot!"

 

Drea pointed. “First to the main gate and from there half an hour.”

Casavir mounted his horse, too, keeping his eyes on Ruru. It seemed he, too, had decided to no longer blame himself and make sure Ruru would not run.


	17. Chapter 17

As they exited the city, Ruru glanced towards the harbour to steal a glance of the Ebenezer, but to her disappointment it wasn't moored there anymore. Sadness shadowed her face. She had grown to like Captain Armand, and now she only wished she could meet him again and hear him tell of his grand adventures. She faced forward and let Gelda follow the others in a slow paced trot.

 

Drea quickly replaced the grumpy mood with stories from her home. Both Bishop and Casavir, and soon even Ruru listened to how she told a story about how they had made little figures from sticks and chestnuts and all kinds of other forest items. Ruru of course knew it, it was a common practice in families. 

Casavir and Bishop on the other hand had not done this in their childhoods. Bishop for obvious reasons and Casavir had been creative with more sophisticated materials, so to speak. But while Drea spoke about it he found that it was likely something he would have enjoyed as well. For Bishop the thought of creating something just to have fun was not all that easy to understand, but when he asked about it Drea explained, much with Casavir’s help, that children learned a lot better when they had fun. Many things were taught that way and parents could see early on if their children were especially good with something.

 

Ruru just listened, remembering her own childhood, all the songs her mother used to sing to her before falling asleep, and all those times she had played with her stones and carved animals, which her father had done... and of course the other stick animals and things she had done for herself. 

So many memories passed through her mind she didn't even notice when Drea finally stopped and pointed at the plantation in the valley. Ruru saw a garden of fruit trees, berries and vegetables. Various things were ready for harvest and she suddenly felt a nostalgic tug inside her chest. How she wished she could go home and help her family during this time of the year as well. Take care of animals and help in the kitchen and bring lunch boxes to her father and brother who worked on the field with some helpful neighbours.

 

“It looks like a nice place to grow up.” Casavir said, more to comment on Drea’s home that she had so far only ever praised. Drea nodded and hurried her steps now almost impatiently. While they had passed on their way to Greyrock she had been able to send a letter, but that had been it. Now though, now she was home. Her heart filled with happiness, especially because her magic felt more secure now and then there was Bishop. 

 

"Well.... now she's like a little kid as well", Bishop laughed and hurried after Drea, Karnwyr following right on his heels.

 

Casavir rode next to Ruru. “I hope that you can enjoy the time here as much as she does, Miss Rudia. I understand that you feel troubled and conflicted, but it is what it is. The people of Tamriel can kill the dragons, but when they bury them they will always have to fear that the dragons will be resurrected. You may be the only person to give them peace. It does not mean that you  _ have  _ to be a hero. It means you  _ can _ keep them safe. The stories of old tell about Alduin, but no-one has heard of him these days.” He watched as Drea and Bishop almost raced down the hill. “We all wanted to stand by your side, my lady. We all wanted to help you. But we cannot if you run from us. Most of all Andrea cried and blamed herself for not making you smile more often. She may seem stubborn, and likely she is, but she cares more than you might think.”

 

Ruru felt a sting but she didn't show it. Of course she had missed them, and yes, she had even missed Bishop. Most of all Casavir, but she had slowly forgotten about it. She had revealed to Armand how Lucias had died, and the sadness and anger in the sea captain had scared her. Especially when she had told that she knew the murderer. She had needed all of her reasoning skills to stop Armand from chasing Casavir down.... and possibly get himself killed. Or both.

"I'm not a lady, Ser Casavir", she answered. "And what I did is already done. I can't take it back, and even if I could, I wouldn't. Leaving was the better option than to just stay and be beaten to death."

 

“No-one would have done that, my lady. I hope that some time we will have the opportunity to discuss the whole incident.” he answered. “For now I suggest we find out if Andrea’s family is truly so nice as she says, shall we?” A small smile lay on his lips as he looked at her.

 

Ruru stopped her heart from fluttering. Even now, after all that time, she still felt that warmth caused by that smile... his voice... being so close by. She truly wished she could harden her heart so she wouldn't feel like this when Casavir was near.  _ Out of reach.  _ She reminded herself firmly.  _ Completely and utterly out of my reach!  _

Ruru urged Gelda into a slow gallop and rode her down the hill.

 

Casavir followed her. He truly hoped she would give him the chance to explain why things had been the way they had. And even more so he hoped she would smile at him again. Even after she ran away, he still considered her a friend. Troubled and stubborn on times, but no less living in his heart like a friend should.

  
  


If there was a winner of the race, it was Karnwyr, who proudly sat in front of the gates and laughed triumphantly when Drea and Bishop finally caught up with him. 

"If you had two legs instead of four, I bet I would have won!" Bishop laughed.

 

“I thought you have three.” Drea said, slightly panting. 

 

Bishop grinned wolfishly. "The third one is for bedtime, sweetness."

 

Drea grinned. They hadn’t done that yet. It surprised her somewhat that Bishop was so patient, but it also made her happy. 

She opened the gate and glanced back to Ruru and Casavir. “We are not expected, but I’ll go search my parents and we’ll figure something out. Do you want to wait here?”

 

Ruru slowed Gelda down to a full stop. "I guess we should be polite and wait here." she said as she dismounted.

 

Drea nodded. Then she scurried off. 

Bishop looked clearly nervous by now. Of course he wanted to make a good impression. He had nothing to give her but his love and although Drea repeatedly stated that would be all her parents wanted for their children he just couldn’t stop worrying. Pacing around he tried to fix his hair and clothes and then he began to try and get Karnwyr look less feral.

 

Ruru chuckled. "I think I have some ribbon you can use to decorate his tail with, Bishop." 

 

“Give it here!” Bishop said, too nervous to realize what was going on.

 

Ruru looked surprised, but quickly dug through her luggage and gave the ribbon she used to tie her own hair with. It was sky blue, made of silk. Something she had gotten from Alec back in the day when they were still together.

 

Bishop stared at the Ribbon for a moment before he realized Ruru had been joking. He grumbled. Casavir gave him a comb for his hair. “You should relax. I am sure Andrea has told you the truth when she said her family is good. And after all it is her you should impress.”

 

Ruru laughed wholeheartedly on the inside. Poor Bishop. She took the ribbon back. 

"Just be yourself. I'm sure Karnwyr will behave as well. He follows your lead, after all."

 

Bishop grumbled once more. What did they know about the whole situation? 

Then Drea came back. “My pa said we can use the stables and then go to the house. They’ll be right with us.” Her eyes had a shine to them.

 

Ruru took Gelda's reins and walked her towards the stables. Once she put the horse in a free stall she unsaddled her and brushed her fur thoroughly before giving her some fresh water to drink and hay to eat. Then she picked up her stuff and walked to the main building.

 

Ruru noticed the house was in good shape. She could imagine Drea’s parents being much like her own. They cared about their home. A few decorations here and there gave the house a warm feeling. Ivy grew over a part of the house, well tended and trimmed. A pumpkin with a carved face, the windows clean and with curtains, yes, Ruru felt a little like home. It made her miss her family even more, but she kept quiet and her eyes wandered to the man who came along the path that lead to the large fields of trees. The man was averagely tall, he looked like he worked the field all day, slightly muscular, slightly lean. His hair showed some grey tresses and the wrinkles around his eyes and mouth showed he liked to laugh. He shook all of their hands while Drea introduced them. 

“That’s Ruru, I wrote you about her, here’s Casavir, he’s the paladin, and that’s Bishop.” She snuggled against Bishop slightly, leaving no doubt about liking him.

 

Bishop wrapped his arm around Drea, looking so nervous he could barely even say a word. "A-A pleasure to meet you... uh.... ser... madame... ser! I mean ser. Uh....."

 

Drea giggled. Her father shook Bishop’s hand. “Pleasure to meet you, too.” He inspected Bishop like the others. Knowing his daughter it was clear to him that she didn’t often make friends, but she found friends that were reliable. And from her last letter he knew that this  man was special to Drea and that he had no family. He fully understood how that could make someone nervous. 

Casavir smiled. The man seemed to have a good heart, much like Andrea had described. A man who took life serious and still knew how to smile. He could see now why the young woman spoke so highly of him. For a short moment he wondered what Miss Rudia’s parents were like. 

 

Ruru just stood there in silence, smiling friendly. Drea's father seemed like a good person, and yes, she could see some of hers in him too. Just a little thought. Maybe it was the wrinkles, the grey hair, and the weather-beaten skin. She realized she missed home. That she wanted to see them again. 

 

The man lead them inside. From the inside the house was just as cozy as from the outside. It was warm and he showed them where to place their cloaks and boots before giving all of them guest shoes. Bishop looked at the shoes with wonder. Why changing their shoes? To keep the house clean? He could see Drea putting them on as if it was the most normal thing so he just followed her example. She cleaned Karnwyr’s paws and gave him a pet, introducing the wolf to her father. “Karnwyr is sweet. He’s Bishop’s wolf, but don’t worry, he’s the sweetest. He won’t bite anyone.” Drea explained.

Bishop watched as the man bent down and stroked the wolf welcomingly. Not afraid. Yeah, maybe there was not as much to worry about. 

 

Once they sat in the living room a small chubby woman entered, bringing tea. She hugged Drea tightly and then greeted the others. Bishop realized Drea was taller than her mother. The woman seemed to be somewhat hectic, but friendly nonetheless. He introduced himself, now a little less nervous. The woman disappeared again a moment later, saying something about making more food for lunch and reappeared again to join the conversation from time to time. She obviously managed well, cooking and at the same time meeting the guests. 

Drea began to tell a few things, but Ruru and Casavir realized she was holding out on the important things for her mother. They drank tea and at some point the conversation got to the dragons. Drea's father reported how they had seen a dragon a few weeks back, flying over the hills west of the farm. 

 

Casavir assured the man that the dragons would be dealt with. He avoided talking about Ruru or her troubles. Drea jumped in and nodded, having fought them alongside the paladins back at the fort as well. Then she lead the conversation to the farm and how everything was. She was happy to hear that it had been a good year and drank some more tea. 

 

Soon it was time for lunch and the rich stew with all kinds of vegetables, some meat and lots of tomatoes made Bishop realize how much he would have wanted a home like this. He gave his best to behave but also soon realized it was quite relaxed. Even Casavir seemed less stiff than usual and that was a surprise. Bishop glanced at the bard and realized her pondering silence. Was probably not easy for her. With a hint of friendliness he reached for the basket with bread and offered it to Ruru. “You should eat more, you know. You look thinner than when you left.”

 

Ruru was startled from her silence and she glanced at Bishop, then the basket with bread he was offering. She was surprised to see the ranger actually  _ cared, _ took some and left the slices on her plate, though after a while she topped them with some cheese and cut vegetables.

 

“Bishop is right.” Casavir said. “You do look thinner.” A hint of concern was heard in his voice. Of course he wanted to know where she had been in those three months but perhaps it was the wrong time to ask.

At least she was back. And she was still healthy. The sight of her during the training with Sonea came back to his mind. Is was no surprise she was angry. Sonea had never let up with her onslaught before her partner lay utterly defeated. She took the teachings of the order to their limit. Casavir remembered how often he had been beaten up by her. Sonea was always fighting like the world would end if she didn’t. And for someone like Rudia, who was soft and gentle in nature… Why had Master Finnur assigned Sonea as her teacher? If she decided to come back then he should probably have a word with Sonea. Rudia was not hard and always biting her way through rock when there was a road around the mountain. Perhaps there was another way to teach her, less cruel and painful. After all she only had to be there when the dragons died. There was no need for her to be a leader. Not when she had him, Bishop and Andrea. He watched her eat with a healthy appetite. Perhaps he should ask her for a walk later on so they could talk in peace.

 

Ruru finished her meal and politely thanked for the excellent food.

They all did. Drea joined her mother for cleaning the dishes And Casavir decided it was a good moment to go for that walk. Surely it was best to give the family some time to reunite and meet Bishop without them. He smiled at Ruru. “Would you like to join me for a walk, my lady?”

 

Ruru glanced at Casavir with a question in her eyes, but nodded. "I guess it might be good to digest this little food baby."

 

Casavir chuckled. “It might, but I don’t think you look all that bad with it.” He helped her into her coat and offered his arm to her. 

 

Ruru hesitated again. Her heart was already pounding, screaming  _ yes!  _ with every quickening beat. She knew well enough that her feelings had not diminished. She had simply put them aside, not thought of them during the past three months.  _ Out of reach.  _

Ruru couldn't appear to be impolite, however, so she took his arm, but she kept as much distance as possible. Eventually her heart quieted down. At least for the moment.

 

Casavir noticed her insecurity and so he soon let her go and just walked by her side. The landscape was beautiful. Not only the valley with its fruit trees, but also the forest. He lead Ruru there. “I wonder, my lady, do you have a favourite season?”

 

"Spring", Ruru answered without hesitation. "I love when the snow melts and reveals the land that soon recovers from the cold and starts to bloom."

 

“How is it in High Rock when spring comes?” he asked curiously. He had only been to High Rock once, when he was still quite young.

Ruru glanced at the gardens as they passed them. "Well.... there are storms, as the ocean currents change and bring in the warm breezes from the south. The sun rays are kind and warm, slowly melting the snow and revitalizing the earth. First the grass looks greyish yellow, dead and lifeless, and then suddenly it's bright green, with flowers sticking out to color the landscape with yellow and orange and eventually red, blue and purple." she held a small pause. "On the farm we released the animals to the fields and watched as they scurried all around. The foals would run around all excited to see green for the first time in their life. And then soon after that father would start spring cultivation."

Speaking about home like this made her eyes gleam from tears. She stopped and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry.... I can't..."

 

Without thinking Casavir reached for her hands. “I am sorry, Rudia. I did not mean to cause you sadness." For a moment he looked into her eyes and then he carefully stepped closer, hoping it was not inappropriate to hug her. Andrea always said when people were sad a hug was a good start to help them. He had grown to see the wisdom in those words, but of course he still felt nervous holding Ruru so close. 

 

Despite her want to stay a safe distance away from Casavir, she still snuggled right in his embrace. That strong, warm, gentle hold that she had only once before felt... back in Solitude. A small lifetime ago. She buried her face against his chest and sobbed quietly, not allowing the man see her tears. 

 

He kept holding her close. A strong feeling overcame him. He wanted to protect her, keep her safe and make her smile again. After some time he let go of her, still holding her hand. Offering a clean handkerchief to her he smiled. “Whatever happens, my lady, know that you have friends that will stand with you. There is no need for you to run.”

 

Ruru took the piece of cloth and turned her face away so Casavir would not see the terrible grimace she had when she cried.  _ You look like an orc!  _ she remembered her siblings teasing her. Ever since then she had made sure to cry so that no one would see, or that she'd hide her tears as good as possible given the circumstance.

 

Casavir let her clean her nose and turned towards the landscape, occupying himself. Once he was sure she was done he turned back. “Perhaps one day you can show me your home, my lady. I would like to see it with my own eyes.”

 

Ruru laughed a bit sarcastically. "If I brought a nobleman like you to my home, mother would flip, and father would have a heart attack!"

 

Casavir chuckled. “Then perhaps I should disguise myself. How would you ever forgive me if I did this to your family?”

 

Ruru glanced at him. "Well.... let's just say that dragon attacks would be the least of your concerns if you angered me."

 

For a moment he looked dumbfounded, but then he began to laugh wholeheartedly. He offered her his arm again and lead her further to the forest. “I wonder how many wives say things like this to their husbands. I remember my mother saying them to my father on times.”

 

"On a daily basis", Ruru confirmed. "My mother is all fire and pepper, and she always was saying things like that to my father, who took it all so calmly. I guess that's why they got married. They compensated each other so well."

 

Casavir smiled. “Much like Andrea with Bishop. They have become very close in the past months. You missed out on a few quite surprising events.”

 

Ruru didn't say anything to this. She had noticed it already. "She's a lucky one, Drea I mean. I probably will never find anyone. I probably don't want to."

 

“You don’t want to?” It surprised him. She was a sweet woman, pretty, talented with her voice and fingers alike and he had seen quite a few men at the inns that had looked at her a certain way. 

 

Ruru just nodded. "Because all men are the same. They want one thing only, and I'm not going to be a decoration for their bedroom!" there was a snappy bitterness in her voice now. "I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than have to suffer in a relationship where I'm not respected as I should be."

 

“All men are the same?” he repeated questioningly. Surely she had put it in wrong words, had she not? She could not believe that all men were the same or even that the majority of them wanted a woman solely for decorating their bedrooms or whatnot.

 

Ruru waved her hand, brushing off the subject. "It doesn't matter. All I'm saying is that I'll never find anyone, and that's all. My past relationships taught me enough. I'm not a toy, and I can't stand cheaters. The end."

 

Casavir realized why she had this crass opinion. He thought for a moment, not wanting to give her an answer that would hurt her.

“Not all men are like that, my lady. Take Bishop for instance. He seemed to be rude and far from what any woman deserves and yet a few months later Andrea is so proud to present him to her family. The man who betrayed you might simply not have loved you enough to change his behaviour for you, but that does not mean there won’t be a man one day who will change. One can never know these things. You should not give up hope. The man who feels for you might be afraid to tell you when you dismiss love that easily.”

 

Ruru glanced at Casavir briefly.

 

The paladin gave her a warm smile. “You are a good woman, my lady. You have your mistakes, your worries and troubles, but we all do. The man who left you was a fool for doing so.” He stepped closer and suddenly Ruru felt dizzy from the look in his eyes. “We all wish to be loved, my lady. For some of us it just takes more time to find love.”

 

Ruru averted her eyes and tried to calm her heartbeats. "Well.... there is someone... that I adored... a nobleman. But I think he has a lady friend." she stuttered from flusteredness.

 

“I see.” he replied, not realizing she was talking about him. Well, how could he? He had no woman by his side. If anything it would have been her who was closest to him. “When someone already is in love that makes it painful for you, does it not?”

 

"Yes", Ruru nodded. "But it's unrequired on my side, anyway. He's a nobleman. There's no way he'd ever even look at a woman like me twice and show any interest."

 

“I don’t see why he wouldn’t.” Casavir said. “It might be true that noblemen usually marry noblewomen, but it is not unheard off that someone from lower birth got married to a noble. You of all should know that.” he chuckled. “Or did you believe the songs you sing to be fictional?”

 

"Like my history teacher used to say: every legend bears a grain of truth", Ruru replied with a slight smile before going serious again.

 

“Correct, my lady.” Casavir said. “You would likely be surprised how often it actually happens. Especially in families with many children. Those born last often get married to merchants or traders or well-known craftsmen.” 

He was not one to gossip, but it was not gossiping to tell her of such stories in detail when he wished to bring examples. So Ruru heard about a few of such marriages and love stories.

“... So you see, my lady, it would not be hopeless for your feelings to grow.” 

He was unsure if he should ask her who the man was. Likely someone in Solitude, Miss Rudia was no a woman to be blinded by infatuation and just run after the first man in sight, so it would be a place she had spent a lot of time at. Should he ask her? 

 

Ruru looked into the distance. "Maybe, maybe not. But I'm not going to hold my breath and wait for a miracle like that. He's most likely either the first or second born son. Completely out of my reach. I'll just... forget about him."

 

He glanced at her. She was a wise woman when she didn’t run away in anger. 

“Should we go over the bridge over there?” He pointed a little further where the path split, one going over a small bridge.

 

Ruru nodded.

 

He lead her to the bridge in silence. There was something about the conversation they just had that bothered him. He didn’t understand what it was, but something… something made him feel… incomplete. He pushed the thought aside and focussed on making conversation.

Since she was being so quiet he began to tell her about the things that had happened at the fort while she had been gone, and about the news about dragons and the war in Skyrim. 

“... would seem that Jarl Ulfric wanted to have the biggest possible impact on the people of Skyrim to fill his rows with soldiers that are unhappy with the situation since the White-Gold-Concordat.”

 

Ruru sighed. "So it has come to that after all."

 

Casavir nodded firmly. “Yes, but it seems the Empire has already sent troops to Skyrim. I do not know the exact details, but with any luck this war will soon be over. I only hope that Skyrim will not suffer too much under it. There have been more reports about dragons as well.”

 

Ruru leaned against the fence and stared down at the stream, and the wavering reflection of her and the knight at her side. Her expression was unreadable. She didn't know what to do.

 

He leaned over, too, and looked down. “You should not worry too much, my lady.” He paused and thought about how to calm her mind. Then he chuckled. “Too much worry will make you wrinkle.” He glanced at her with a smirk.

 

"Good thing I have a dragon's soul. Dragon's can't get old", Ruru joked, answering his smirk with her own.

 

“But they get scaly, my lady. You should consider purchasing one of those lotions to keep your skin young.” he replied, glad to see a smile back on her lips.

 

"At least I'd have an armor that could take hits", she retorted and started to giggle.

 

“That is true, but have you ever slept in full armor? I can not recommend it.” he chuckled. 

 

Ruru shook her head. "I've never worn armor. It looks cumbersome. And ugly.... er... unfeminine."

 

“Thank the gods, it does. Although it would be interesting when men turn to look feminine once they wear armor. The order would look interesting then, wouldn’t it?”

He smiled at her. “Although… I think that an armour would not make you look ugly, my lady.” He meant it. Imagining her in armor he found that she still looked gracious and beautiful.

 

Ruru grinned now. "What kind of fantasies are you holding in that thick skull of yours, Ser Casavir?" she teased.

 

For a moment he wanted to defend his honour and tell her he definitely held no fantasies. But then he thought that it was Rudia. There was no need to correct it, he could joke around with her. She would know the difference between what was a joke and what was true. So he replied “Well, now that you ask, my lady, there is this fantasy about a dragon and a knight…” He watched her, just to make sure she would not take offence. “As it happens the knight slays the dragon and as the dragon falls from the sky it transforms into a young maiden...”

He kept watching her with his steel-blue eyes. “Now the knight hurries to save the maiden and soon there is a wedding held. When the knight is asked about his wife then he always replies: Well, she is a dragon, but what falls from the sky has to be sent by the gods.”

 

Ruru tilted her head, and for a moment she looked like a child who didn't understand the lesson she was given. Then she seemed to ponder Casavir's words, the thoughtful frown was a sign of it. Then she chuckled.

"I see. So who is this maiden you wish to marry? Lady Sonea?"

She slapped her hands against her mouth, but the words had already been voiced.

 

“Sonea?” He looked confused. He had simply made up a story. Did she think he and Sonea were… but that would be… well, from her point of view…

“Well, first of all, it was merely a story and what comes to Sonea: We have been friends from an early age, but love has never been between us.”

 

Ruru returned to lean against the fence, once more gazing far into the distance. 

"I see", came the quiet reply. Her heart raced and bounced, basically wanting to burst out of her ribcage and fly right into Casavir's arms with a sign saying: " _ Hold me! _ "

She didn't know if she should be relieved to hear this, or concerned. Because it had been easier for her to forget when she had thought that Casavir already had someone else. That he was taken. That she would never be his.  _ Out of reach!  _ She squeezed the railing and just let her eyes marvel at the scenery. Maybe she should have said autumn instead of spring. But if she was honest to herself, she regarded all seasons her favourite.

 

Casavir looked at her, still wondering why she would ask about Sonea out of the blue. He was missing something, that much was clear, but what? He gathered what Rudia knew about Sonea. Which was not much and that bit was, that Sonea was a warrior with honed skills and a will of steel. And that she had beaten Rudia up. 

“Is that why you said I was... sick…? Because you thought I watch her hurting you because I like her?”

 

Ruru squeezed harder, so that her knuckles turned white. "Yes, that's half of it."

 

“I see.” he said quietly. “Perhaps I should tell you then, that even if I had feelings like that for her I would never,  _ never _ let her hurt someone, especially not you, when it is not for training. If she enjoyed hurting you, my lady, then there would be no place for her in the order, nor would I consider her a friend.”

 

Ruru sighed and turned to continue walking. 

 

“My lady, please don’t run away again.” Casavirs voice was gentle. “I know that you got hurt. I know that you still hold a grudge against her. But she did not treat you unjust. She expected you to use the salve on yourself that she expected you to already have.” 

He pulled Ruru back, gently forcing her to look him in the eyes. 

“No-one wanted for you to learn more on that day than what every novice has to learn on their first day. The feeling of utter defeat. Nothing more had to be achieved, my lady. We all expected you to feel anger and shame. But no-one at the order would have left you wounded.” 

There was pain in his eyes as he looked down into hers. 

 

Ruru averted her eyes. "It doesn't matter. Her blows hurt. But what hurt more was you not even attempting to stop her onslaught when I clearly had had enough and she just kept forcing me to get up only to beat me down again and again. I wanted to die. I really did. Because then I would have been free of that agony!"

She struggled to get free. "I was defeated ten times over! And you just stood there", she glared at him. "One day I'll make her eat the same dirt she struck me down on. And I'll make sure you'll do the same!"

With that she used the dragon shout that made her run faster and she disappeared in the shadows of the forest.

 

Casavir sighed. He knew she was too fast for him like this, but he followed her anyway. She had not understood why she had been made feel that way. She would, one day. Although he hoped that day would never come. 

How could she think he had wanted to watch her getting hurt? He remembered Ser Guldan’s heavy hand on his shoulder. Even his fellow paladins had seen how hard it was for him to stand there, seeing her getting hurt. Could she really believe he wanted that? _ "Because all men are the same. They want one thing only, and I'm not going to be a decoration for their bedroom!" _ Perhaps she did. What did he know of her? That she was a bard, dragonborn, had a title in Riften. Only now he realized how little she was willing to open up to them. To him. It made his heart hurt. Was he untrustworthy to her?

 

Ruru kept running. The tears in her eyes made her vision blurry, but she still kept running, using the sprint shout over and over to gain what little distance she could from... everything. She knew she was acting like a fool, but she hated the idea of just.... accepting excuses when it was all too late to make her change her view. Casavir didn't understand, no one did. But that was her own excuse to hate him when she loved him. And the paladin was obviously too blind to notice, and she hated him even more for it. 

She was so confused, hurt, angry, sad and frustrated that she didn’t even notice she was going in circles. Much to Casavir’s relief. Once he found her, sitting on a sawn-off tree trunk, he carefully approached her and crouched to look at her. Ruru could hear he was slightly out of breath. “You are a fast woman, my lady, but lucky for me not all that good with directions.”

 

Ruru gave him a death glare.

 

Casavir decided that it was time to get her out of her shell. “Perhaps if you were a real dragon you would fly to Elsweyr and miss all the action in Skyrim and Cyrodiil. Or perhaps you would crashland. Perhaps much like the dragon in my story from earlier.” He sat down next to her. “That would make catching you much easier.”

 

"Or perhaps I'd destroy your precious Order first and then fly off to highest mountain and make my nest there." Ruru retorted. "I'm sure that would make you think twice before you try and tell me what to do or what excuses to believe!"

 

“Destroy the order, my lady?” He smirked, not taking offence on her words. “What makes you think you could do such a thing when you were having so much trouble with Sonea alone? No, my lady, I think before you can attempt that you should become a little stronger. But if you think you can do it, how about we have a little duel and see if you are capable of defeating a paladin?” He paused, looking at her. “I give you my word that this time I will heal you fully should you get hurt.”

 

Ruru scoffed. "Fine. Let's get back to the house so I can get my rapier."

 

“The rapier.” Casavir nodded. “I was wondering why you have one.”

He held his hand out and pulled her up. “I take it you will not tell me how much you have learned in the past months?”

 

Ruru glanced at him. "You will see." there was determination now. 

 

He nodded. “I hope so, my lady. I look forward to see your ‘new tricks’.” 

They walked back in silence. Casavir knew that the young woman was still angry. Perhaps giving her the chance to fight someone would help her. Wherever she had been, whoever had taught her, he hoped that person had done well. Not even because she was bound to find trouble as the dragonborn, not because he hoped she would return to the order with him and show off her skills, but especially because it would mean she had gone down the path of self-determination. It would mean she was not going to let only destiny lead her, it would mean she didn’t  _ need _ the order to become a good warrior. 

He glanced at her from the side. Her face was full of determination and anger. Well, he would give his best this time. There was no need to hold back when she needed to see for herself where exactly she stood with her training of the past months.

  
  


Ruru stood sideways facing Casavir with her rapier drawn and pointing slightly down. She took her stance, spreading her legs to be more balanced, bent her knees to stay more grounded, her left arm slightly up on the side, bended from the elbow. 

"Shall the elder begin?" Ruru asked. "Or shall I?"

 

Casavir smiled at her. Her stance was good. She clearly had trained. He would have liked to use a rapier as well, but given where they were and that no second rapier was available, he would have to use his two-hander. “How about a little bet, my lady? If I win this fight you will allow me another duel where we both use the rapier.”

 

"Deal", the woman replied firmly. "And if I win?"

 

He thought on it for a moment. “Is there something you want, my lady?”

 

Ruru's eyes were hard. Her heart said:  _ A kiss.  _ And her mind said: There's nothing that I want from you. 

"If I ever need a favour from you, I'll ask."

 

Casavir thought on it and deemed it to be alright. “Very well, my lady. But please do understand that I cannot break my vows.”

With that he took stance and a moment later Ruru found herself avoiding his blade.

 

Casavir gave Ruru no easy way out. Of course he made sure not to hurt her, to him this was a duel on a friendly basis. But he made sure to give her a good chase. Her quick steps and the little weight her armour and weapon had gave her an advantage in speed, but with his heavy armor it also was difficult for her to land any good blows on him. His stance was secure and it was almost impossible for the small woman to throw him over. But she tried. He noticed a few things about her behaviour. She was less reckless. Even though she knew he would not hurt her or at least not lethally wound her she moved with more care and precision. When there was no opening she danced around him until she got a chance. Much different from that day in the ruin. Then there was the fact that she moved her blade like it was supposed to be used. The rapier was a weapon often used for duels. Any noble who was trained with a weapon would usually be taught to use a rapier. It was a light blade, rather simple to handle and it was  _ fancy _ to put it that way. Yet Casavir had seen the rapier used in many ways. Hacking, slashing, piercing, not all nobles were skilled with the usage of this weapon. Whoever had taught Rudia was a master with the rapier, though. Casavir noticed a few motions and movements that were rarely taught and yet Rudia used them with some success. He even got into trouble a few times when she danced around, dived under his arm and a swift hit on his back told him it had been a wise idea to wear his plate armour. 

“A good hit.” He praised her, trying to spin around fast enough before she would give him two more hits. “Try to aim for the more fragile parts. Heavy armor will withstand your attacks, but when you aim for the joints you can make a difference.”

 

She frowned at him, but took his advice. Her next hit went for his neck, then the knees and under his arms. It became notably harder for him to keep up with her as he now had to make sure not to get hurt badly. He kept praising and lecturing her while he tried to corner her to make it impossible for her to attack him from behind. But Ruru was smart. She noticed his intent and avoided it for a long time. Casavir began to enjoy this fight. She had become way better than he had thought. But it was too risky to keep up with it. He was not tired, but knew very well that with her speed it was possible he could lose. And he wanted to duel her with the rapier, even more so now that he could see how good she was. He turned, dived under her blow and grabbed her hand, forcing her to drop the weapon if she didn’t want to have her hand broken. She wouldn’t have it and feistily gave him a hook with her other fist. He stumbled back, surprised, but not for long. With a quick step on her weapon he made it impossible for her to pick it back up and moved his blade forward. Another move and she barely avoided getting her legs pulled away under her body. She was fast and not willing to give up, he’d give her that. 

She eyed the rapier under his boot, staying out of his reach. He could see the frustration in her eyes. Then she shouted. 

“ _ Wuld! _ ” 

He was thrown off balance long enough for her to pick up her weapon again and the fight continued. She laughed into his face. “How do you like that?!” 

“Very much, my lady.” He admitted. “It would seem you found my one weakness.”

Avoiding her blade anew he kept her at a distance by changing his fighting style. She watched him, seemingly confused at first. But not for long. She fought until she got a chance to get behind him and shouted again, hitting his wrists as hard as she could to try and make him drop his weapon. It was not enough. Instead her rapier fell out of her hands and Casavir quickly dropped his weapon and reached for her throat, pushing her against the wall and showing her the end of the battle by squeezing just enough to make her see he could strangle her. “It would seem you lost, my lady. That means I get to fight you again.”

He let go, making sure she would not stumble. 

 

Ruru was slightly out of breath, and she wiped off sweat from her eyes and loose tresses off her face. Then she started to laugh. It was genuine, full of relief, as the last bits of adrenaline dissolved and changed into that thrilling feel of accomplishment. Though a loss, she still had been able to hold out against the knight. 

While laughing, she fell to sit, then she fell to lie on her back. "Thank you! Thank you, Captain Armand! Thank you!" she breathed out during her fit. "Thank you so much!"

 

Casavir smiled and sank down next to her. “If I may offer some advice, my lady?”

 

"Depends on the advice", she retorted while still giggling. 

 

“If you are still planning to attack the fort you should grow some wings and bring this Captain Armand. That way we could at least have an interesting fight.” He took off his gloves and wiped his own brows. 

 

Ruru stood up after her laughing was over. She glanced down at the man and offered her hand to him. "It was a good fight, Ser Casavir. I haven't had so much fun since the last duel I had with Captain Armand. And I think he lost on purpose. That old flirt!"

 

He smiled and took her offered hand. “And you said no man would have interest in you.”

 

Ruru pulled Casavir up with a bit of struggle. "Nah, he flirted with me, but it was.... innocent in a way. You know... like how good friends joke with 'darlings' and 'dears'. I don't think he was interested in me in a romantic sense. I wasn't either. But the time I spent with him made me...." she left the rest unsaid and hastily turned around. "Haa! I need a bath!" she hurried inside the house.

 

Casavir chuckled. He had been right. Having a serious and challenging fight did make her less aggressive. She had calmed down and so, he honestly admitted, had he. All the worry he had felt, the guilt, the frustration of not being able to do anything, it was all gone now. With a smile on his face he followed her back to the house, thanking Drea’s parents for allowing them to train on their field.

 

He glanced after Rudia who just vanished inside the bathroom. For a moment he imagined the young woman in the bath, then he quickly lead his thoughts into a different direction. It was not appropriate to think about her this way.

  
  


Meanwhile Ruru sank into the tub. The place was nice and Drea’s parent’s seemingly had done their best to make the bathroom be a comfortable room. The floor was tiled with natural stone and the ceiling had several little ornaments of coloured ceramic. They had allowed her to use the soaps and oils to her liking and so Ruru opened the different bottles and sniffed them. She quickly found a scent she liked and while she poured some in the hot water she wondered if Casavir would like it, too. Would he even notice? She sank a little deeper and allowed her thoughts to flow. He didn’t seem to be very angry about her running away but he had said he had missed her. He wouldn’t lie about it, would he? 

She closed her eyes and relived the afternoon. They had been alone. If only nothing would have stood between them. Her anger, her fear, that she had left them behind without a word. Why weren’t they angry? She would have been.

She let those thoughts dissolve into the warmth of the water and just forget herself for a moment. Isolate herself.... and her thoughts about Casavir. She leaned back against the bathtub and simply relaxed, thinking of his words, their fight, the.... date in the forest. Though it wasn't much of a date. Her definition of date was a little different. Like candlelight dinners, walks in a garden, watching the sunset, or stargazing on the walkways... deep discussions about this and that, maybe a kiss... Ever the romanticist. 

As the water got cooler, she hastily washed her hair and body from all the dirt and sweat. She dried herself with a towel and quickly dressed to a simple dress, also allowing her hair to be free this time. 

Ruru stepped into the living room.

 

After Ruru was done with her bath Casavir quietly reminded her to take care of her equipment before having a bath of his own. His thoughts spun around more practical things than Ruru’s. He had hoped to find out what she wanted to do in the near future, if she wanted to return to the order, leave for High Rock, or perhaps to Skyrim to go to Ustengrav. In his opinion it would be best to return to the order, but after all that happened she might still be too stubborn to do so. Yet there was so much she still had to learn, no matter her improved fighting skills. She did not seem to absolutely hate him anymore, but sadly she didn’t trust him either. What could he do to prove to her that he was reliable and that he would never let her get hurt in a real fight?

 

Ruru did as the knight said, though it had been in her agenda anyway. Armand had taught her to take care of her equipment. Actually, she had taken care of all the crew's swords and whatnots to gain experience on multiple weapons. While cleaning up her rapier, she returned to those days on the Ebenezer, to the early wake up calls and training sessions on the rocking deck, to the labour in the kitchens and under deck, to the little skirmishes that happened between her and the crew who threw lewd remarks at her. Armand had laughed during dinner, and the next day he had commanded to leave her alone, with various results. They trained twice a day, early in the morning and after sunset. Vampires didn't like sunlight all that much, and she understood that. But it was still fun.

_ "If you ask me, sweet little lass"  _ she recalled him saying, completely forgetting his sailor speech while leaning against the side of his ship and feeling the breeze in their hair. " _ You should go back to the Order. You should go back to your friends and continue training. You're still so young, and naive. People will take advantage of you. So if you don't want people to use you as their doormat, take the offer you were given. And never give up, when it's hard. You never did during our training. You have much potential. Don't let it go to waste." _

She remembered meeting his gaze, and though he looked young, he was like an old sage, come from the heights of the Throat of the World to teach her. 

Ruru stopped her hands for a moment and stared at the rapier she had gotten from him. 

" _ It'll be more use to you than to me now, lass. Don't let the oceans burn. I like to sail on its waves." _

Ruru smiled. "Then I will, Captain."

 

They met back at the dinner table, this time in the kitchen. It was a little tight with six people around the table and Karnwyr curiously sniffing around everyone and trying to find out who was willing to give him treats, but the mood was a lot better now. 

Since Drea had told her parents what Bishop was they now had a lot of questions for Casavir, worried about Bishop harming Drea when he could not control himself. Bishop, of course looked as afraid as a man could be when there was a flaw about him that no parent could just overlook, but Casavir answered their questions patiently and assured them that not only he, but also the order would ensure that Bishop could not hurt their daughter or anyone. By the time dinner ended they were still somewhat worried, but they didn’t show it. 

They discussed for a few moments and decided to stay two more days before returning. Casavir looked at Ruru. “Will you join us, my lady?”

 

Ruru nodded. "Yes. That is...." she looked unsure now. "If you want a child like me along."

Bishop smirked. "Don't worry, we'll spank you every time you're being naughty."

 

Casavir smiled to Ruru, ignoring Bishop’s remark. “You are welcome to return with us, my lady. I advise you though, to apologize for your words before you left.”

 

Ruru gazed at Casavir and before anyone realized, Ruru had kneeled. She held her palms against her chest, right where her heart was, and bowed her head down before she glanced up at everyone. 

"Forgive me, for everything that I did and said to insult you. In my own anger I spoke ill and never thought of the consequences." she pressed her head back down, and even Bishop was surprised how humble the young woman was now. Ruru continued. "If you find it in your heart to accept my apology...."

There was a time, on the deck of Ebenezer when she had to humble herself in front of the Captain just like this. It was an old fashioned way of the sailors, but even so it had taught her to be humble and strip herself of pride and stubbornness. It had been a hard and harsh lesson, but she had taken it to heart. 

 

“You do realize he meant the people at the order, right?” Drea stated.

Bishop grinned. “Now, sweetness, if she likes kneeling in front of the paladin, le-” Then he realized that that kind of joke might not be fitting since her parents were still there.

 

Ruru cleared her throat awkwardly and stood up. To forget her embarrassment, she grabbed a book from her belongings and went to sit down near the fireplace in the living room to read.

 

“So stubborn…” Bishop grinned. 

“Nah, leave her. I bet she’s just embarrassed. Let’s go for a walk, I want to show you around.” Drea took Bishop’s hand and they left. 

Casavir, too, decided to give Ruru some space and helped out around the house. Of course he had to fight his way there, because Drea’s parents considered him a guest and were thankful already because he kept their daughter safe, but eventually they let him help. 


	18. Chapter 18

The next two days passed by fast. They all helped out with the harvest, enjoying it a lot. When they said their goodbyes Drea’s parents packed plenty - or rather way too much - food for them. With all the food packed on the horses they had to walk back. It was windy and the sun hid behind thick clouds.

“Three days, if everything goes well.” Casavir said, shielding his eyes to look up into the sky.

Bishop grunted. "Just great. We should have taken a pack mule with us!"

Ruru laughed. "Poor mule would have crumbled from all the weight of the food!"

 

Drea looked happy, though. She had missed home, had missed her parent’s food, the cozyness, even her mother’s hectic. 

“Aww, just admit that you would like to eat all of it at once!” she pouted. 

“Perhaps we would, my lady.” Casavir said with a smirk. “But if we did that then the poor horses would certainly break if they had to carry us with all the food inside.”

Bishop grinned and pulled Drea close. Compassion, huh. No surprise she always was like that when she practically had sucked it up with her mother’s milk. If he wasn’t all wrong then her parents didn’t hate him. Sure, they hated the beast, but it seemed the paladin had pulled his head out of the sling there. “Guess I owe him one…” he grumbled quietly while nuzzling his nose in Drea’s hair. 

“Hm?”

“Nothing, sweetness. Let’s press on. Can’t have me turning out here, can we?”

“Well, I can always just stay up with-”

“No.” he replied. “Look, I know you can do it, sweetness, but I’m not going to risk it.  _ Especially  _ since your parents are willing to entrust you to me. You’re mine to protect, even if you can do it yourself. Besides, you should sleep at night. Not watch over a drooling beast that would just love to eat you up.”

“Who says I’m not doing that on any other night?” She grinned at him.

It took a moment for him to get it, then he ruffled her hair and stole a passionate kiss before moving on. 

 

Ruru watched the exchange and then turned her gaze away before seeing them kiss. Of course she heard it, but still.... once more she realized how envious she was. That she was not being held like that, not being cared about... or was she? She stole a glance of Casavir and then shifted her eyes to the landscape. She thought of it, and Casavir's words. Then she laughed on the inside.  _ I'll bet my next earnings that when Drea has kids of her own, I'll forever be a virgin!  _

 

“You won’t.” Casavir said, having noticed her turning away from the couple.

 

Ruru was startled, as Casavir's words seemed to fit perfectly to her own thoughts at that moment. She glanced at the knight with big, wondering eyes.

 

“You won’t be alone forever.” he turned to her with a smile. “I am sure of it.”

 

Ruru scoffed, and laughed sarcastically. "Maybe in the next life when I'm a cat or a wolf.... or.... some other animal. Or maybe I'm a bird. A sparrow, or a lark. Maybe lark. They sing beautifully."

 

Casavir chuckled. “Perhaps you already are, my lady.”

 

Ruru chuckled as well and then faced forward. "I'm just.... jealous.... of her. She can have all those hugs and kisses and love and care, and I'm just.... waiting."

 

“So am I, my lady.” He smiled warmly. “Perhaps you are just impatient. And… when it comes to jealousy… Do you really think there is a reason to be?” His eyes trailed over to the couple that now held hands, Karnwyr walking next to them. “Bishop is a werewolf, my lady. They… “ He coughed a little uncomfortably. “They cannot have… you know… have a family of their own.”

 

Ruru looked confused as she glanced at Casavir. "You mean... being a werewolf hinders that sort of thing? Now that's just.... sad." She was clearly sympathizing now, then she frowned.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not a lady?!" she said sternly. "Either call me by my name, or don't speak to me at all!"

 

“It does not-” He looked slightly confused for a moment. “Forgive me my la- Rudia. I am sorry, truly, I do not intend to mock you, it is just how I was raised. And to me you are a lady. No matter your stubbornness. My lady.”

The last words were clearly teasing.

 

Ruru frowned even more and with a short, stubborn  _ 'hmp' _ she turned her gaze away from him and hurried forward.  _ I bet he'd call his wife like that, too!  _ she thought.

 

Casavir chuckled. “It was a joke, my lady, please do- I mean Rudia. It was a joke. I only meant to tease you. Please don’t be angry.”

 

Ruru wasn't angry, not really. Not when her heart was racing so fast inside her ribcage from the mere sound of Casavir's voice calling out her name like that. No polite 'Miss' on the front. Just Rudia. It made her soul soar. She was just too happy that she didn't know what kind of face she should show to the knight of her dreams. So, she hid her happiness in the shadow of her frown and stubbornness.

 

Casavir decided to return to the topic of Drea and Bishop. 

“As I was saying, my lady, it is not that being a werewolf …  _ disables _ Bishop from such things. But he worries about what would happen to Andrea if he impregnated her. Especially on the nights when the moons are full. There are no documented werewolf pregnancies. It is possible nothing would happen and their children are just as human as you and I. But it is also possible that they are beasts. And in that case no-one can tell if she would even survive the pregnancy, let alone birth.”

 

"That's just.... sad...." Ruru whispered. "They look so happy together. And I thought they'd be doing it a lot already. Making love, that is." her cheeks were red like a ripe apple.

 

“Not if I am any judge.” Casavir said. “Bishop came to me just before we got to the Imperial City and wanted to know what he should do. It seems he is afraid of hurting her so much that he’d rather not do it at all than endangering her. And I assume you understand how much it bothered him for him to come to me of all people.”

 

Ruru looked surprised. Bishop... asking Casavir for advice. It really was the end of the world!

 

“Although I must confess a lot of things have changed. For Bishop, that is.” Casavir let out a short laugh. “Had anyone told me he would become such an honorable man when we first met in Solitude I would have doubted that person’s sanity. But now look at him. Protecting her, making sure she gets the best food, the driest place to sleep, He even groomed himself for her family.”

 

"It's the end of the world!" Ruru declared and laughed. As she calmed down she smiled. "If only there had been a man willing to do the same for me back then. But...." she shrugged. "Like I said. Maybe in the next life."

 

“If you don’t stop telling yourself that I will have to punish you, my lady. As your teacher I cannot let you think so poorly of yourself.” He glanced at her with a smirk.

 

"Then go ahead, bring your worst. It won't stop the illness of my twisted mind."

 

He chuckled. “You will see it will, my lady. But while we are talking about it, would you allow me insight on your thoughts on the punishment you got for denying Lady Sonea’s order?”

 

"You saw it yourself. I wasn't allowed to eat. I don't know what kind of punishment was that supposed to be. I've went hungry before, but I guess you nobles don't even know what it feels like."

 

Casavir looked ahead. “Some may not, Rudia. But you have not understood even the smallest part of it when that is your only thought on the punishment. Try to figure it out. Of course, in the light of that Lady Sonea, as well as everyone else, expected you to have the order’s salve. I know you were treated unjust because of this mistake and yes, healing yourself was in hindsight necessary, but in the light of what Lady Sonea knew at the time, why do you think she punished you the way she did?”

 

Ruru thought of it for a while. Then she remembered how disappointed Casavir had looked at her, how lonely she had felt... like an outcast.

"Was it to cast me out, so to speak?"

 

“Yes, that is a part of it.” Casavir said, waiting for her to dig a little deeper. He knew she was not stupid. She was capable of figuring out the answer on her own if he just encouraged her to.

 

Ruru thought about it again. After the fight she was barely able to stand up, because of the pain and exhaustion. She had healed herself to ease them both. 

"Because I was supposed to be sore and exhausted."

 

Casavir nodded, pleased she was getting there.

“Now try to put yourself in lady Sonea’s shoes. Imagine what you would have done, how you would have felt. Try to put yourself in the shoes of the other novices, the paladins around, Master Finnur. What do you think happened in their heads?”

 

"Do I look like a mind reader? How am I supposed to know how a noble thinks when a farmgirl disobeys orders?" Ruru asked with a frown. "For all I know, they would have just kicked me out, or considered it."

 

Casavir frowned. “If you keep thinking in those categories it will be impossible for you to see through the schemes that will be thrown at you. No-one claims there is no difference between a noble and a farmgirl, but if you think they live in different worlds, how will you ever see the bigger picture?” he was clearly slightly angered. “Try to see past the womb they came out. What about the four novices that gave you their share of the salve? Did you think they did so out of pity? Because they could afford to buy potions? No, Rudia. They did so because they have been treated exactly the same as you have. Because all of them have been beaten to the ground, were made swallow dirt before given the choice to obey or disobey.”

 

As Ruru kept quiet he walked next to her just as silent. For a good hour they just walked, not talking at all. The silence frustrated Ruru. But after a while she tried to focus on what he had said. Said so many times already. That nobles were no better than her. And the boy in the great hall… Why had he told her to not tell anyone? Was it because she had disobeyed? And he still had tried to help her? But she had disobeyed. They all wanted to punish her. She pushed her thoughts further and tried to do as Casavir said. Putting herself into the boy’s shoes…

_ “When I was merely a novice we often snuck out of the quarters and went to drink in a hidden place by the walls.” _ Casavir had said. So novices did disobey. And when he had said that he even had told her he didn’t regret it and it was no mistake. Did that mean something? Perhaps that it depended on what someone did? He had said they had learned to be comrades. Perhaps the boy wanted to help her because he saw her as one of them. Despite her being so much older. Despite her not having a name and title. And she… she had frowned at him…. Guilt overcame her. She glanced to Casavir. He was still walking in silence, looking ahead and not giving away his thoughts. 

 

Up ahead Ruru could see Drea, Bishop and Karnwyr. So happy when there lay so much beneath the surface. Perhaps there was more beneath all things. More than she could see with her small human life. Stepping away from her own blight and happiness. Was that what the paladins were trained to do? 

 

"Paladins.... though noble in birth, set themselves to be like the common people, not above them, but to serve them", Ruru voiced her realization. "They fight for the people, they care for the people. People like me.... Drea... and Bishop."

 

Casavir did not look at her, but from the side she could see him smile.

“And what does that make you, Rudia?”

 

"Well.... I'm no different from you, I guess. We all breathe the same air right now, don't we?"

 

He reached over and lay his hand on her head. “Well done. It seems I was not all wrong about you at least.”

 

Ruru felt slightly embarrassed and shy when the knight praised her like that. She wanted to say something, anything, but she had no words to say. Just that soaring happiness that made her heart race was all she could think of at that moment.

 

“Don’t forget it, Rudia. Never. There are differences between people, but they have a value that is not measured with money. None of the novices is rich. They are allowed riches only once a year and that is for Saturalia. They are allowed to take gifts from their families and of course, give them. But after that time they have to lock away the riches and return to their novicehood. It is a part of learning who we are and what purpose we serve. Even if you choose to not become a paladin that is a valuable lesson to be learned.” He turned his face to her. “I am glad you figured it out by yourself and I really hope you will remember it when you feel mistreated.”

 

Ruru nodded. 

 

Casavir turned his eyes back ahead. “Speaking of Saturalia… I know that your life has been turned upside down when you became the dragonborn, but have you made plans?”

 

Ruru shook her head. "No. Back in Solitude I usually received a small allowance and preserved treats back from home, but that was it. The best bards were usually called to the Blue Palace to perform at the annual ball. I never got to see it, though, until last year."

She did recall Casavir from back then. So many lovely ladies swarmed around him like flies, just begging for a dance or three.

 

Casavir smiled and nodded softly, remembering the same ball. This year he would likely not be in Solitude. 

“How do you feel about balls, If you are not to play at them, that is?”

 

Ruru tilted her head. "If you ask my honest opinion, I think they are ridiculous waste of money. All those expensive dresses and jewelry that is only worn for one night just so show off... when there are people lying on the streets, freezing to death!"

 

Casavir nodded. “I agree, my lady, on the point that those who have more should pay more attention to those who have less. But much like what you just learned there is another side to it as well.” He paused her, not sure how to pack the complex topic in short words. “It is… not that easy to simply dismiss the riches to give to the poor. As you likely know those balls are not simply dull festivities to amuse. You have a sharp mind, I can imagine you have noticed that there are certain orders in those festivities. Where everyone is seated is important, as well as who dances with whom. As the dragonborn you would easily have as many enemies at such a ball as friends. Potentially, that is.” He looked at her in hope to see a reaction on how much she understood.

 

Ruru frowned, but then her frown slowly dissolved. "So, it's like... a meeting of sorts. To see where the relations are, is that correct?"

 

He smiled. “Yes. That is a part of it. You can make friends and enemies alike and that is only the peak of the mountain. I was thinking, If you would like, I could arrange for you to accompany me to the ball that will be held in the Imperial City for Saturalia. As far as I know my own family also should be hosting another ball shortly before this one. It would give you the opportunity to observe and learn.”

 

Ruru's eyes widened from panic. "But, ser, with all due respect... wouldn't a man in your high position face trouble when escorting someone like me to such an occasion? I mean, nobles know nobles. And I haven't danced since.... well... since the last dance class back in the day. I would only embarrass you and myself in front all those important people." she hastily explained, giving excuses... when her inside was screaming the opposite. 

 

Casavir chuckled. “First you worry about being dragonborn, having to carry the burdens of heroism on your shoulders and then you dismiss what you are. It seems you have learned a thing or two about your role in the world in the past months, but not quite enough.”

He smiled at her warmly. 

“You are dragonborn. That does not make you a hero, nor does it give you the right to attend a ball just as you wish. But it makes you a person with a name. And given that you are also Thane of the Rift you do have a title, if an almost invisible one given who will attend the Grand Saturalia Ball. But you will get in, if invited. And if you wish to go I would invite you. But that holds a few things you should know before giving me an answer. I told you it is risky given you can make enemies simply by seating yourself on the wrong chair. But as you can imagine there are way more rules to learn and follow than that. I could understand if you feel this is too much for you.” He looked into her eyes directly this time. “I do not wish to pressure you. It is an offer.”

 

Ruru pondered for a moment. She weighed her options. On the one side was the chance to be with Casavir, and on the other was the potential of majorly screwing things up and make a fool of herself, and Casavir on the go. Of course she knew her manners, but none which would equal a noble lady born with a silver spoon in hand.

"How long do I have to learn all these things? And there's the fact that I don’t have anything suitable to wear. Bards always dress simply, but still fashionably to an occasion, but I have no dress to attend as an official guest."

 

Casavir smiled. To his own surprise he felt his heart raise at the thought she’d want to go with him. “Well, roughly two months, but I could arrange for a private tutor and as for the dress, I am sure I can handle that as well.” He watched her as her face showed all the conflictions and hopes that dwelled in her heart and mind. “You do not have to decide today. It would be good to know as early as possible, though.”

 

Ruru laughed to hide the galloping of her heart. "You will have your answer right now, Ser Casavir", she said with a flirty look. "I would love to accept the invitation to the ball. Both of them, in fact."

 

Casavir turned to her slightly. “I cannot promise anything, my lady, but I shall write to my family post-haste and see what can be done.” For a moment he felt confused about the spinning in his head before he could focus again. “As For company, you are allowed to bring a chaperone. If you wish for that to be Miss Andrea I can arrange for it, but you should tell me early, since she will need to know a thing or two as well.”

 

Ruru nodded and hurried forward to catch up on Drea and Bishop. "Drea! I have a favour to ask of you!" she said and quickly told about the conversation she had with Casavir. "Would you like to help me? Please? With a cherry on top?"

 

“Me?” Drea looked at Ruru with confusion. 

 

"If I could, I would sent for my friend in Solitude, but by the time she got here, it'd be too late. And I don't have anyone else but you." Ruru looked so pleading she resembled a lost, hungry kitten.

 

Of course Bishop had something to say about it, too. “If you want my ladyship you got to do better. I’m not letting you take her to all those nobles that would just love to get their hands on her.”

 

“I would not let that happen, Bishop.” Casavir said, coming closer with the horses. 

 

"I could probably do without, too, if your boyfriend is so protective of you that you can't even help me." Ruru said with a sad look. "I guess love is that selfish."

 

“Oh no, you don’t get to play that card, bard.” Bishop frowned. 

“I... I don't know… I guess I would be safe with Ruru and Casavir, but… I mean… I don’t know anything about… nobles and such…” Drea felt conflicted. She was curious about what it was like up there, but she also was Drea, a girl from a farm with normal parents and a normal life. Well... when you looked away from the magic and the fact that she was in love with a werewolf.

 

"Casavir will arrange a tutor for us. It'll be fine. But if you really don't want, it's alright. I'll go on my own, you can have your precious lone time with your ranger."

 

Drea looked to Casavir. 

“You do not have to worry, my lady. There is not much for you to do, I only thought it might be good for Miss Rudia to have a friend by her side. Your only task would be to be there to make sure that Miss Rudia remains decent.” Casavir said. 

“Decent?” Drea looked confused. “Wouldn’t a .. you know a person to just tell her… ah, you know what, I’ll do it. Can Bishop come, too?”

 

“I am afraid not.” Casavir answered. “But of course he can accompany us and be around.” He looked at Bishop. “You have my word that no-one will touch her. And I am sure Rudia will make sure she stays safe, as well.”

 

"If I remember right, chaperones are not noticed by nobility. And I'm sure Drea can handle a few lewd kitchen boys on her own." Ruru giggled.

 

“You should not dismiss it so easily, my lady.” Casavir said. “On such occasions alcoholics flow keg wise and a drunken man without manners will not care if the woman in his sight is a noble or not. More so, Andrea is endangered because some nobles think they can get away with touching a servant. I expect you to not leave each other’s side when I am not around.”

 

Ruru was shocked, but then she nodded. There always were rumours circulating in the city after a ball or other occasion about some drunken noble and a servant girl. But to hear it from Casavir...  _ Maybe it was a good idea to remain a bard after all.  _

 

Of course Bishop didn’t like the idea of not being able to keep Drea from harm. But once he saw Drea had made up her mind he stomped off, grumpy and frustrated.

  
  


It was late afternoon when they finally arrived at the Order three days later. Ruru had noticed the slightly damaged stone walls from the distance, but only now it was more apparent. The dragon attacks had caused a lot of destruction that was still being repaired. She felt a sting in her chest. If she had been here... 

But that was then. She felt like she had made the right choice. Captain Armand had always said that heroes needed their own time to realize their paths, though she had denied this, she later on had understood the other meaning behind his words. That even running away may sometimes lead to new roads that lead back to the original road. And there the flirty sea captain had been correct. Here she was now. Back where she had started. Sort of.

 

While she still stared at the fort she felt Casavir’s hand on her shoulder. 

“Do not worry, my lady, an open apology will be forgiven if it is from your heart.”

 

Ruru glanced at Casavir with a sheepish look. "Should I... go apologize right away?"

 

“It would be wise to.” He smiled. “I can accompany you. I have to give my report to Master Finnur anyway.”

 

Ruru nodded and smiled gratefully. "I would appreciate it."

 

Not long after that Drea and Bishop left and Casavir lead the nervous Ruru to the office of the master. She remembered what she had said to the old man who stood way above her, not only in rank, but also in age and wisdom.

 

Ruru's insides froze, and her throat felt like sandpaper. As she opened her mouth to speak and apologize, she could not voice a word. 

 

Casavir reported back, telling the Master about how they had found Ruru, how she had reacted, that she had run away again, about the fight, everything. Ruru felt even more embarrassed. 

Then the Master turned to her. 

“And now you have come back.” His voice was calm and he looked at her with an open expression, waiting for her to speak.

 

Ruru took a deep breath and humbled herself in front of the master, just like Armand had taught her. Of course, she didn't kneel this time, it would have been too awkward, but she made it apparent in her expression before she pressed her head down. 

"I have returned, Master Finnur. And I ask your forgiveness for my own foolishness. I know what I said was wrong, when I didn't know anything. Please, forgive me."

She spoke sincerely, stressing every word. What edge of pride she usually carried in her words was now completely gone. Whoever had bent that edge had done a good work.

 

To her huge surprise the master stood up and bowed to her. “I hope you find it in your heart to forgive the order as well, for not making sure you were equipped with what you needed to fulfil your task.”

 

Ruru raised her head and stared at the old master with widened eyes. "Master! You... you don't need to... I..." she stuttered, completely abashed of the bow. He was the elder, he didn't need to do that to  _ her.  _

"I... I'm the one who... ran away..." she said quietly, utterly bemused by all of this. "I...."

 

He straightened his back and a small smile lay on his lips. “I am glad that this unfortunate event is out of the world. The offer to learn from our order still stands, Dragonborn. Should you choose to accept it.”

 

Ruru answered with a relieved smile. "I would be glad to accept it, Master, if you'll have me with all of my flaws."

  
  


This evening they dined in the great hall again. Ruru glanced around for Drea and Bishop until Casavir told her they would not come, as they had their own little place in the fort. By now every paladin and novice knew about Bishop and what’s more he was asked from time to time to assist with the education of the novices. Casavir told Ruru about this while he lead her to a table by the side of the hall. 

“He has accepted this in exchange for a place to share with Andrea. I think he really wants to do his best to keep her close. Even when it means turning in front of all those novices.”

 

Ruru nodded as a sign that she understood. Those two were meant for each other after all.

 

“As for your training…” Casavir began carefully.

 

Ruru glanced at the knight with a question. "Yes?"

 

“I want you to come to me and talk to me when you feel like you are treated unjust. You will have to learn a lot more than any of the other novices, in a way shorter time. You will find that you get beaten up again and again, sometimes without the need to teach you humbleness. But running away will not solve the problems you will face. If you feel that you can not solve them yourself then come speak to me.”

 

Ruru chuckled nervously. "Even if I scream insults while doing so?"

 

“I could always tie you up and stuff an old sock in your mouth if I call it wrong.”

 

Ruru grimaced from disgust before she laughed quietly. "You have the oddest fetishes, Ser Casavir."

 

“What do you think how I was taught to keep my mouth shut on times?”

Of course it was not something conducted by a teacher, but rather had been a trick the novices back then had played on one another. Back in the day the novices had been quite creative in their tricks or punishments. But whenever a trick had become too harsh there had been discussion about it and amends were made. Casavir did not know if it was still a custom amongst the novices but he suspected it was. 

 

Ruru chuckled. "Well, if you ask me, there are more pleasant ways to silence my rampage."

 

“What might those be, I wonder.” he replied with a smirk in his eyes.

 

Ruru became sheepish and slight blush colored her cheeks. She didn't answer, how could she? It was a childish wish, something she wanted but denied with all of her willpower.  _ A kiss.  _ She shook her head to drive away that thought and then laughed from all the flusteredness. 

"Haha! I don't know. I'll think on them and write a list." she tried to make a joke of it. But this time she really couldn't hide the lie.

 

Casavir chuckled. “I wonder how many types of kisses there are…” 

He smirked at her in a way that turned her head into a steaming pot of tomato soup.

 

Ruru wanted the earth to split and swallow her whole. She shook her head. "H-How should I know!" she was lying, of course. But the last time she had been kissed was a long time ago.

 

“And how many are on this list of yours?” He was teasing her and enjoying it. For a woman that  _ didn’t want to find love _ , as she had claimed, she was very easy to tease.

 

Ruru's cheeks glowed now. "Maybe.... a few.... hundred...." she replied sheepishly.

 

“That is a lot, my lady. And here you claim to not know much about these things.”

 

"I.... had someone.... in the past. He was.... a bard like me. We were together... but he was getting quite the female audience and he enjoyed it more than my company, so.... I broke it up."

 

“I hope that you do not know all those different kinds of kisses because you had to watch him being unfaithful.” The jest in his voice was gone and he sounded sincere.

 

Ruru looked sheepish. "Yes and no. I also read quite smutty literature."

 

Casavir laughed. “I had not taken you for such a woman.”

 

Ruru looked embarrassed. "I was young and curious. I'm sure you have.... done something similar."

 

Casavir chuckled. “Perhaps. Perhaps not.”

 

Ruru glanced at Casavir from under her eyelashes.  _ So mysterious.... for a paladin.  _

After dinner Ruru went to take a bath before bed.

 

Morning came all too early in her opinion. She got dressed and went to the great hall where she saw Casavir sitting with some other paladins. Watching him for a moment she realized he was actually quite noticeable. He was especially handsome no matter who was next to him. Or maybe it was just her opinion? She was not sure. 

By Casavir sat also Lady Sonea.

 

Rage flared inside her, but then she took a few deep breaths to calm down. The time would come when she would make that woman taste a piece of her own medicine. Ruru glanced around, looking a bit lost. She didn't know if she was allowed to join Casavir at the paladins' table or if she had to sit somewhere else. 

 

To her luck one of the paladins noticed her and waved her over.

 

Ruru smiled and sat down at the table, nodding politely as a greeting to everyone close to her seat. She ate in silence, listening to the conversation.

 

After a little while Casavir spoke up. “Wasn’t there something you wanted to say to Lady Sonea, Miss Rudia?”

 

Ruru was startled and she glanced up from her plate. She then faced Lady Sonea. "I apologize for causing you trouble... and disobeying your orders."

 

Lady Sonea looked back at Ruru, inspecting her for a moment. “I forgive you and apologize for my mistake to not make sure you were informed about your equipment.”

 

Ruru nodded as a sign of acceptance before she uttered her challenge. "Mark my words, my lady, one day  _ I  _ will make you eat dirt instead. What goes around comes around. And I'm not one to forget the wrongs done to me so easily."

 

Some of the paladins around laughed. Casavir sighed. Stubborn woman. 

Lady Sonea only raised one of her perfect brows before an amused smile drew over her face. “And here everyone kept telling me I was too hard on you, but it seems you need another round.”

 

"Bring it on!" Ruru threw a glare at her, and made a mental note to get her rapier.

 

Casavir was about to lecture Ruru, but then he kept quiet. If she needed another lesson in humbleness then it had to be. He knew Sonea would not take the words of the stubborn bard personally. She would beat her up and be done with it. And she would do it again and again until Ruru knew her place.

“You will get your chance after breakfast, Miss Rudia. “Lady Sonea said. “This time please make sure to be properly equipped and that you have your salve.”

 

After breakfast Ruru hurried to her room to get ready for her possible beatdown. But she was determined to give the high-and-mighty lady paladin everything she had. 

Ruru changed into her light armor, took her rapier and parrying dagger, and made sure she had her salve. She tied her hair to a knot at the back of her head and once ready she walked to the training grounds. She was nervous, but she pushed it aside with sheer willpower. 

"Armand... give me strength", she prayed quietly. 

 

Lady Sonea beat her up. Even with all her training Ruru was utterly defeated and before the sun stood at the zenith she lay on the ground, dirty, broken and too exhausted to get back up. The lady paladin bent over her and demanded for her to stand up.

 

But Ruru couldn't. She just threw one last glare at the lady paladin before darkness took her to a blissful rest.

 

“A big mouth for so little skill…” were the last words Ruru heard Lady Sonea say before she passed out. 

“...but I confess she has learned a thing or two. You were right, she had a good teacher.”

“What do you think? Should we try and teach her to use a sword and shield? Her fighting style is rather light and does not suit it, but given the foes she might fight protection will be important.” Casavir pondered. 

His old friend nodded slowly. “Perhaps. But I think magic might be better for her. I will inquire for her to be tested. Can you bring her back to her room?”

Casavir nodded and picked the unconscious Ruru up. She had done well enough.


	19. Chapter 19

Ruru came to when something moist wiped her face. First she thought it was her dog back at home and sleepily shooed the pesky thing away. 

"Not now, Rommel. Let me sleep. Ask mama for snacks..."

 

A soft chuckle from a deep voice made her open her eyes and sort out her surroundings.

Casavir sat next to her, trying to wash off the dirt around her face. She noticed her armor had been taken off and she only wore her clothes.

 

Ruru pulled the blanket up to her chin and stared at the knight with sheepish eyes. As she moved, she could feel her body scream from pain, but she ignored it. For now.

"I guess I got my behind whipped again..."

 

“And you deserved it.” he said. “But be that as it may, you should take a bath and take care of your wounds. They may only be scratches, but it is best not to risk any infections. I thought you might not want me to wash you.” He smirked as he said the last sentence.

 

Ruru blushed beet red. "I... wouldn't mind it", she mumbled.

 

He chuckled. “Is that so? Then I shall make sure to inform your fellow novices next time.”

 

Ruru took her pillow and while her arm screamed, she threw it at him. "Whatever!" and then turned to lay on her side, her back to Casavir. Her cheeks were glowing crimson and her heart was pounding.  _ Out of reach! Out of my reach till the end of time!  _

 

Casavir laughed. “You have a lot of energy for someone with such bad aim.”

 

"Not with my magic!" she retorted, still embarrassed. 

 

“Go take your bath, Rudia.” He was still laughing as he picked up the pillow that had landed far away. “You’ve been out for a few hours and you still have lessons today.”

 

Ruru sighed and struggled against the pain and sore muscles to sit upright. She felt like if she even tried to stand up, she'd wobble and fall ungracefully right in front of Casavir. 

"What lessons, exactly?"

 

“Etiquette. And given how you joined the table this morning you have a lot to learn.”

 

"How was I supposed to know...?" she said and carefully stood up. It took for a good few minutes before her legs were obeying her will to keep her balanced as she collected the things she needed for a bath. 

 

“You weren’t. Which is why no-one took offence or lectured you. But at the ball you will have to know.” He said. “Are you going to be alright?” Watching her wobbling around the room he was unsure if she would get to the bathrooms without falling over. Back in his day there had been other novices. But Rudia had only herself, now that Andrea was not here.

 

"I'll manage", Ruru replied stubbornly. "You don't need to fuss over me."

 

“Are you sure? The younger novices that are already done with their lessons are too small to carry you should you fall over.”

 

Ruru looked sheepish. "Maybe I might need a helping hand to get there safely."

 

Casavir nodded. “Then I will accompany you.” He offered her his arm.

 

Ruru took it with a grateful smile and stumbled ungracefully at his side as they walked towards the baths. Her feet were killing her, her whole body felt like it had been ripped into shreds and then magically sewn together again with only sore spots as a reminder what kind of an idiot she had been.

 

Casavir stayed quiet while he escorted her. There was no need to lecture her right now, especially because she was unlikely to remember much of it in her current state. At the bathrooms he ordered the younger novices to make sure she would be alright, then he asked Ruru to meet him in front of his room in an hour. “Let one of the other novices show you the way.”

 

Ruru nodded. "As you say."

After undressing and sinking inside the warm water Ruru leaned back and closed her eyes, allowing her thoughts to wander. 

She had acted foolishly once more, thinking that she had been able to take on the paladin lady, but once more the old saying  _ pride comes before fall  _ held its ground.

She was clearly unable to fight, but she could manage at least a little. Just a little. 

"It's going to take forever before I'm able to be worthy of the name of Dragonborn. The world will end twice before it's going to happen."

She started to spread the salve all over the sore spots on her body, and heal the small wounds only so much that they were red lines on her skin, that would eventually fade away. 

_ I wonder what Casavir wants to talk about. _

A small smile spread on her face. To be able to be with him made her feel a bit better. It was worth suffering like this if it yielded even a second of Casavir's company. And she'd fully soak herself in it.

Eventually she dressed into a green simple dress, leaving her hair free. A young novice, a girl around ten, escorted her to Casavir's room. She stopped at the door, quickly nodded to the child and watched as she scurried off. 

Ruru knocked politely and waited.

 

A moment later the door opened and Casavir came out. He looked her over. “You should take just slightly more. The salve is potent, and I know you do not have much of it, but if you use too little you will get scars.” He wished he could give her some of his leftover salve, but as a teacher he shouldn’t. It would be unfair to the other novices. But if she made friends amongst them she would get the same help from them.

 

"A few scars where no one can see them don't really bother me", Ruru replied.

 

“I can see them.” he said quietly. “Give me your salve.”

 

Ruru looked sheepish and put her hand inside her pocket and took the little metal box out and gave it to the knight.

 

He took it, opened the lid and carefully spread some on her cheek and on her neck. “You remember what I said about finding someone, my lady, do you? One day there will be someone in your life and how would I explain to him that you are scarred?”

 

Ruru stood still, just watching at the man in front of her, taking care of her. A little sting pierced her heart. "As I said, there is one, but he doesn't notice of me."

 

He finished by giving her nose a gentle tap. “Does that make you unattractive you silly woman?”

 

She shielded her nose with her hand and gave a brief glare at him. "No, I guess not", she replied before her expression changed to a gentler one. "But I still imagine that I'll be an old lady warming my bed and death falls so madly in love with me that he'll claim me on that moment."

 

The paladin chuckled. “Now wouldn’t that be a romantic story? Till death do you … join.” He offered her his arm. “We will study in one of the parlours. I took the liberty of getting some cake, you have not eaten anything since breakfast, but if I remember right you do like cake.”

 

"It's a rare treat for me", Ruru answered as she took his arm and allowed herself to be escorted. 

"What is our lesson about?"

 

“Well, to put it short it will be about all kinds of etiquette. I know there are way too many things to learn in such a short time, but you will need to know them.”

 

Ruru nodded. "I'll try my best."

 

Casavir’s lessons were challenging. He kept correcting her posture, how she placed her legs, how much she had to raise her arm when drinking tea and how fast she could eat. And it was really hard not to eat faster, because the cake he had organized was delicious. Soft dough with cocoa and layered chocolate cream and a late strawberry on top. Besides that Ruru still felt utterly exhausted and like she needed a rest. 

“Smile, my lady. I know you had a rough morning, but a lady always smiles. Well, unless it is inappropriate, but she certainly does not eat her dessert with a face that says how tired the cake makes her and how sad the strawberry looks at her.”

 

"Then I shall remember to attach string at the corners of my mouth and tighten them till I'm constantly smiling", Ruru replied as she fought against her mind that just wanted to shut down.

 

“That might work, my lady, but how would you at all the delicious chocolate then? Surely you do not wish to miss out on it. Or was I sorely mistaken about you and chocolate?”

 

Before Casavir finished his sentence, Ruru had already fallen asleep on the couch, leaning against the back of it in a strange position. Her head hung down, and her dark brown tresses fell like a veil to cover her face. Her hands were resting on her lap.

 

“My lady?” He looked at her in confusion before he realized she had fallen asleep in the middle of the conversation. The poor woman. He gently woke her again. “You can’t fall asleep here, Rudia. Let me escort you back to your room.”

 

"Mmm... chocolate...." Ruru mumbled as she somewhat came to. "Casavir... if I was a kitten, could I sleep on your lap?"

 

“On my-” he looked flustered, but quickly regained his composure. “You should go to bed, Rudia.” He carefully took her arm. “I am sure you will feel better given some rest.”

  
  


Weeks went by. From early morning till late evening it was nothing but studying for Ruru. From fighting to etiquette and dancing, from magic to usage of different sorts of weapons, it was intense and exhausting. Often she would just crash without caring to change her clothes. If she wouldn't have had a strong will which she had inherrited from her mother, she would have called it quits a long time ago. 

But she still excelled, with various results. 

She was thoroughly coached to be a lady, and eventually even Casavir had to admit that if he had only just then met her for the first time, he would have thought of her as a born noblewoman. 

Even the sharp edge of Ruru's snappiness was practically gone, and she only talked in soft tones.

Ruru hurried along the corridor to the parlour she and Casavir used for their private lessons. She didn't run, of course, but she walked at a fast pace... as fast as it was proper for a lady.

 

As usual Casavir was early. But to Ruru’s surprise she found him standing at the window, looking outside. He didn’t even notice her enter so absorbed was he in his thoughts.

When he finally did he looked somewhat distant. 

 

Ruru closed the door behind herself and stepped a little closer, keeping a polite distance. She glanced at her precious knight with concern, but kept her emotions at bay.

"Is something the matter, Ser Casavir?" she asked worriedly.

 

He blinked a few times. “Forgive me, Rudia. I was in thought. Saturalia is just around the corner and with it the ball.” He smiled. “I must say, you impressed me. Learning all of this in such a short time is no mean feat. I truly hope that you will be able to enjoy the festivities.”

 

Ruru revealed a sweet smile, the kind that made her eyes sparkle. "When there's a will, there's a way. And like my father used to say, my will is strong enough to go through solid rock." she said and then chuckled, amused by a memory from her childhood. "He always joked about me drilling my own caves through mountains with my willpower alone."

 

Casavir chuckled. “Yes, you have a thick head.” he teased.

 

"That just means I can take a hit and still remain sane", she retorted with a teasing smirk.

 

He smiled. “Do you feel ready for it? I have arranged for the carriage and provisions, Andrea and Bishop are prepared for the journey as well and my family knows of our arrival in a few days. But do you think you are ready? There are not going to be any breaks from now on.”

He was clearly concerned.

 

Ruru thought about it for a moment, as always, keeping a pondering expression on her face. Then she lifted her gaze and nodded. "Yes. It's now or never."

 

With a careful movement he took her hand. “I will be with you, my lady. I will make sure that you won’t embarrass yourself. I hope remembering the names of all the guests will not be too difficult for you, but if you are unsure just make sure to smile and treat them with respect. Even if they might be a potential enemy it is better to not let them know how little you know about them. And as for Andrea I think she will be a great help, just remember to stay close to her when I’m not around.”

Ruru noticed he was repeating himself. He looked nervous somehow and only now Ruru realized that it would be more than a ball and more than a gathering of nobles. It was because she was lowborn and would be watched by all. Casavir had prepared her as good as he could, but that didn’t mean she was ready to face every possible problem.

 

"I promise I will do my utmost best to act the part of.... a lady", Ruru said solemnly and gently massaged the back of Casavir's hands with her thumbs. She looked in his eyes encouragingly. "I won't get myself into trouble. Well.... at least I try not to on my part."

 

“I know you will.” he said, slightly encouraged. “You have proven to be capable of more than running away. Perhaps when the ball is over we can focus more on training. You still owe me a duel after all.”

 

Ruru smiled and stepped back, letting go of Casavir's hand. "But before that, shall we start today's lesson? Or are we just going to chit chat?"

 

“After you, my lady.” He made a motion with his hand towards the space in the middle of the room where they had practiced dancing the past weeks. 

 

Ruru took her place, and waited for Casavir to join her. At moments like these her heart was always galloping, and after the lessons were over, it left her restless. How many pages she had filled with in her journal just to pour out her feelings so she could concentrate on the next thing that followed? It was the only way to keep her from making things harder for Casavir.

 

He lead her into a dance and kept humming the melody to show her the beat of the music. The first time Ruru had been surprised how melodic his humming was. She knew most of the pieces, many being played in Solitude, too. Once again Casavir made her dance to a few pieces before he gave her a little break. Eventually he lead her to the sofa on the side. 

“That was good. I think you will have little problems with the dance at the ball.” He gave her a smile. 

 

"It's all thanks to your teaching, Ser Casavir", Ruru said as she looked at him, giving away a bit too much of her feelings before she was able to collect herself. "You know, you'd make a great father someday" she stated as an innocent topic of conversation. "You're so patient and sagely. I know there must have been moments when you thought I was a hopeless case!" she chuckled at her own words. "But enough about that.... was there something else?"

 

_ A good father… _

“No, my lady. We will finish early today. There are still a few things I need to do and you might want to prepare yourself as well. Besides, you should say your thanks to Lady Sonea as well. She has given you a lot of her time to teach you the things I couldn’t.”

 

"I shall make sure I express my gratitude to her before we depart", Ruru replied. 

 

Casavir nodded then he led her outside. “Ah, yes, Andrea asked me to tell you she would like to see you if you can spare the time. I suggest you go see her after talking to Lady Sonea.”

 

Ruru nodded. "Of course."  _ What does Drea want? Advice on love? I'm sure she has more experience on it than I!  _

They walked to the salon where most paladins spent their free time. Ruru stepped inside once Casavir opened the door for her and she glanced around to find Lady Sonea reading on a chair near the fireplace. Ruru discreetly approached the woman, but stopped at a distance. She made a curtsey.

"Lady Sonea? If you have the time, may we speak?" Ruru asked during her curtsey, then she straightened her back.

 

The woman in the chair looked up and put her book aside. “Of course.”

 

"I wish to thank you for all the lessons you've provided for me", Ruru began and then she made another curtsey, deeper this time. "And I also must apologize for all those times I was more trouble than worth your... shall we say... expertise you wished to share with someone like me. But even so, I am truly grateful. Because without your help, I wouldn't be the woman I am now."

 

The lady paladin smiled. It was a surprise to Ruru because Lady Sonea rarely did that.

“You are welcome, Miss Rudia. You will leave in the morning?”

 

Ruru straightened her back once more and answered to the smile with her own. "Yes, Lady Sonea."

 

“I wish you a good time. Casavir’s family is likely to make you feel at home. Just…” She smirked. “Make sure not to pick any oranges from the garden. Although it might be out of season…” She clearly was talking from a memory.

 

Ruru tilted her head before she chuckled. "I’ll make sure to remember that, Lady Sonea. Thank you for everything." she made one last curtsey before she walked to the door.

 

Next she visited Drea. Her friend opened the door and once she saw it was Ruru she smiled. “It’s difficult to get a hold of you these days, come in!”

 

Ruru looked apologetic. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to concentrate on my lessons before the party. I'm sure we can catch up on things once all this hassle is over and done with."

 

“Don’t worry.” Drea pointed to the small corner in the room with a table. “Tea?” The room seemed to be their home. It was small, but somehow it had a warm feeling to it. The table had a nice tablecloth, the small kitchen was filled with jars and preserves Ruru recognized to be from Drea’s family, the bed was made and covered with a pretty blanket. Ruru tried not to think about the fact that her friend shared this bed with Bishop. It was still hard for her not to be slightly jealous of their happiness when Casavir didn’t even seem to notice how much she liked him. As she kept looking around, being in this room for the first time, Ruru saw something that made her breath stop. It was a mannequin with a dress, so beautiful that Ruru wondered when her friend might be wearing something like this. It was the dress of a noble lady and although Ruru liked her friend and certainly thought she would look good in it, it was not exactly something her friend would wear, was it?

 

Ruru averted her eyes from the dress and stepped towards the table. "Tea would make my day right now."

 

Drea made some in the kitchen. The small stove provided a nice warmth against the creeping cold of winter that lay in the halls of the fortress. 

“How are your lessons going?”

 

"I think I've done well so far. My magic teacher is rather impressed that I can learn spells so quickly. I guess it's thanks to my breton blood", Ruru explained.

"And I've also gotten praise for my fast learning in manners and etiquette..."

_ As much as Casavir wants to praise me. _

 

“And Casavir?” Drea was clearly referring to him not noticing Ruru’s feelings.

 

"The same as always", Ruru replied absentmindedly. 

 

Her friend chuckled. “Well, there’s always the ball. How do you like it?” she motioned at the dress.

 

"It's very beautiful. You'll turn many heads while wearing it", she stated with honesty in her voice.

 

“It only needs to get Casavir’s head turning.” She stood up and carefully took the dress off of the mannequin. “Come on, try it on, I might have to fit it and we best be done before Bishop gets home.”

 

Ruru looked dumbfounded. 

 

“Come on, don’t dillidall.” Drea repeated. “And don’t worry if it is good for the ball, Lady Sonea helped me with the design. You won’t be out of place.”

 

Still stunned Ruru stood up and went behind the changing screen to take off her dress she was currently wearing. 

 

Just then the door opened and Bishop came back. Karnwyr immediately sniffed around and found Ruru, greeting her excitedly.

 

Ruru let out a slight yelp, but calmed down as she saw it was Karnwyr. "Hello to you, too, Karnwyr", she said as she greeted the wolf with gentle pets. "If you'd allow me to change, I'd appreciate it."

The wolf tilted his head.

"Come over here, mutt!" Bishop commanded.

Ruru heard Drea and Bishop share a kiss... and three more. Ruru felt even more jealous. She slipped into the dress Drea had made, buttoned it and stepped into view. She saw Bishop holding Drea close and lovingly. Ruru looked away, finding the wall across the room far more interesting to look at.

 

Drea removed herself from Bishop’s hug and stepped to Ruru, looking around the dress and lacing it up properly. “What do you think, love?”

 

Bishop glanced at Ruru. "Hmm... not bad. You outdid yourself, sweetness."

 

Drea smiled. “Right? What do you think, Ruru?”

 

Ruru was speechless. It was exquisite work. The dress was made from warm materials on the inside and still it felt light to wear. 

"I... I'm stunned." Ruru was finally able to state.

"Translation: She likes it too", Bishop said with a bit of sarcasm as he smirked.

 

“Well done, Bishop. I am impressed on your observation skills.” Drea said, teasing her lover. “How does it feel? Do I need to widen it? Make it smaller?” She danced around Ruru to figure out if it was good. “I’ve rarely ever worked with these materials, but thanks to a certain nobleman I was able to buy them and make this dress for you.”

 

Ruru walked a few more steps, carefully lifted her arms as if to hold onto an invisible dance partner. She didn't feel any discomfort. It was a perfect fit.

"It's just perfect", Ruru said as she placed her arms down.

 

Drea was already busy with the hem of the dress, placing it around Ruru anew. “You will have to lift it a little while walking, but I made the inner hem shorter so you need to make sure not to show too much leg. I got one, too, just less… noble.”

 

"Doesn't make you any less gorgeous, sweetness", Bishop stated while working on supper.

Ruru carefully lifted the hem, only ever so slightly to be able to walk but not too much to seem too indecent.

 

Drea smiled. She looked so excited that Ruru wondered if the smile could get any wider. It could. Bishop put a fork full of dinner in her mouth. “Like it, sweetness? Don’t go smiling, too much or you’ll get wrinkles.” he laughed. 

Drea giggled. “You should join us for dinner, Ruru.”

 

Ruru walked behind the changing screen to change back into her regular dress, also to escape the lovey-dovey rays those two were radiating while being together. She hated it. She hated the fact that she was being left without. Especially with her unrequited feelings towards a man that was already out of reach for her. She hated it. 

_ If anyone ever show any interest towards me, I'll deny them outright! No matter who it is! I'll just be alone forever! _

"No. I should go finish my packing", she said as she hastily undressed and changed. 

_ Because I couldn't stand sitting in the same table when I obviously don't belong in their world.  _

 

“Awww… but Casavir even took the evening off.” Drea pouted. “Can’t you pack fast?”

 

Ruru buttoned her normal dress and hastily combed her hair to look decent. 

"I... I have a lot to do still. Have a good night!"

She exited the room before Drea or Bishop could stop her.

 

“Great... “ Drea looked at the door. “Just when I thought we finally get back together all four she runs off. Did I do something wrong?”

 

"She must be having one of  _ those  _ days", Bishop shrugged. "I don't think it's because of you."

 

Drea sighed. “Three plates then…” 

She still looked sad. 

 

Just a little later Casavir came for dinner. It was a good evening, just Ruru was missing. They talked a lot about the ball, the dress, which Casavir really approved off, and the coming Saturalia. Drea and Bishop would spend it with her family and only come to the city for the ball. 

Eventually Casavir excused himself to leave the couple to their packing.


	20. Chapter 20

In the morning they all met in front of the fortress. 

The girls and Bishop marveled at the carriage that Casavir had told them about. Well, Bishop was not exactly marvelling at it but more frowning. Casavir had forgotten to tell them about how fancy it was. 

 

Ruru was awestruck. She had never seen a carriage so elegant.

_ I'm like that pumpkin girl, going to the ball to dance with the prince, and then lose my glass slipper... _ she thought, comparing herself to the main character of one of her favourite fairy tales.

 

Drea felt quite similar, but with Bishop at her side she felt less worried. Casavir opened the door and helped the ladies inside. “Do you have everything?” he glanced over the luggage.

 

"And a bit more", Ruru said.

 

“I noticed.” Bishop stated, heaving their luggage on the carriage. “Do we really need all that stuff?”

“Yes, we do.” Drea answered, wanting to help him. Casavir was faster, securing the luggage. "If I didn’t know any better I would say we will at least return with less but…"

 

Ruru just leaned back and stared out of the window, but then she remembered her posture and she sat straight. She had unpacked her things, repacked them, unpacked them again and repacked them once more to keep her thoughts away from... everything last night. She had packed some extra clothes, as well as her notebook and lute in case she felt inspired by something. 

 

Casavir and Bishop joined them inside and the journey began. Drea was soon enjoying herself. The soft pillows under her bottom made travelling in the carriage nice. Given that snow had fallen the carriage was now mounted on skids that made the carriage travel through the snow without too much rocking, too and it looked beautiful when she looked out of the window. Karnwyr seemed to like it, too. He tried to look out of the window and once he claimed a seat right on Drea’s lap he stayed there, looking out. 

 

“Silly pup.” Drea said, but she let him stay. 

Bishop leaned over to her as well and snuggled up on her, not worried about Casavir or Ruru. By now he knew Casavir was more a friend than an enemy and even the bard… Well she was alright. 

Casavir smiled at the couple. It was a shame they could not have a family of their own. But then again… so was he. During the past weeks he had spent a lot of time with Ruru, but she had no interest in him anymore. Even now that he had realized blossoming feelings for her, he hardly could ask her out after she told him she had feelings for another nobleman. It would complicate their relationship and it was so much more important to him that she could count on him than… 

He sighed. If only he had payed more attention to her when she had shown interest. 

“Glad to get out of the fort, Casavir?” Drea asked, before realizing that he looked sad. “Don’t worry, we’ll behave.”

 

Ruru stared out of the window, not really paying attention to the conversation. She allowed her mind to wander. This was, after all, one of those few moments when she didn't really need to think about anything.

 

“Are you cold, my lady?” 

Ruru looked up and only now realized Casavir who was holding out a blanket to her. Glancing over she saw Drea and Bishop sharing one. Lucky lovebirds…

“You should cover yourself. Since we are not moving on our own our bodies will get cold more easily. It would be a shame if you got sick.”

 

"No. I'm used to weather like this", Ruru said in a humble manner. "If I feel cold, I'll tell you."

 

“Just take the darn blanket, you silly bard.” Bishop said. “Besides it’s not like he’s going to molest you under it.”

“Bishop.” Drea exclaimed.

“What? And even if he did, she’d like it.” He grinned.

 

Ruru frowned and took the blanket, but rather than putting it around her shoulders, she spread it on her legs.

"I bet you two are molesting each other every single night. So wonderful! No wonder you can afford to comment like that!" she snapped.

 

“Jealous, bard?” Bishop grinned. 

 

"No, not one bit. I don't really care", Ruru said coldly.

 

“Please don’t argue.” Casavir sighed. “Such comments are not necessary, are they, Bishop?”

“What? Is it my fault she’s jealous because we got each other while she is still too  _ shy _ to tell you she wants you to fuck-” 

“BISHOP!”

“WHAT? Come on, sweetness, she wants him. Why not tell that brick-headed paladin?”

 

Casavir stared at them. Then he coughed. “I… I think you are mistaken about Miss Rudia’s-”

 

Ruru didn't say anything. She just pressed her lips together and allowed her heart to break in silence. She promised to make the effort to give up on Casavir. It was foolish to harbour any feelings for him anymore.

"Indeed", she stated as she hid her eyes behind a veil of her hair. "You are absolutely mistaken. I would  _ never  _ fall in love with Casavir."

 

That hurt. Casavir went silent and swallowed hard. 

“What? Since when?” Drea looked at Ruru with a mix of surprise and anger. “How can you even say such a thing?”

 

Ruru released a sob and she clutched at the blanket on her lap. 

"For.... all this.... time... since forever.... since a small lifetime... I've done nothing but...." she hiccupped as her tears dropped on the blanket, creating dark spots here and there. "I've done nothing.... but looked at him.... from afar. Held onto childish pipe dreams... of me and him... sharing our lives together.... But no more... I'm done with them.... He never noticed.... So I will do the adult thing.... and stop dreaming."

 

Now Casavir was confused. Was she talking about that nobleman? Or him? He looked at his friends somewhat helpless until Bishop couldn’t take the stupidity anymore. 

“For Mara’s sake, she loves you, moron. Now make up your mind and kiss her or leave it!”

This time Drea didn’t speak up. She fully agreed with Bishop. What a silly man to not realize it.

Casavir carefully turned to Ruru. 

“Is that.. Is it true my lady?” He felt unsure. “But... what about that noble you told me abo-” The light that went on above his head could easily have been used to light the whole of the Imperial Palace. “I… Was…  Were you talking about me the whole time?”

 

Ruru only sobbed and clutched the blanket even more, as more and more tears fell on it.

 

He carefully took her hands. If it was true… Oh Mara, he had acted like a fool… 

“I… I must ask your forgiveness, my lady. Rudia. I’ve been a fool. Can you forgive me?”

 

Ruru sniffled, unable to do anything else.  _ It's too late now. It's all too late. _

 

Casavir was really at a loss now. He felt for her, too. But was it right to hold her? They were not… he shouldn’t… 

But of course Drea and Bishop wouldn’t have it. 

He looked back at Ruru and as he tried to give her a handkerchief Bishop pushed him closer to Ruru. “If you don’t kiss her I will.”

“I can’t just-”

Bishop leaned over. “Sorry, sweetness.” he said, took Ruru’s face, turned it to himself and kissed her. 

 

Ruru didn't realize it at first. She only felt rough lips against hers, but then when her blurred vision somewhat returned, she noticed it was Bishop holding her and...  _ kissing  _ her.

_ No! Let go of me!  _ her heart screamed. 

 

It didn’t take long for Bishop to be gone. By a punch from Casavir’s fist. “How dare you, Bishop?!”

Bishop wiped his face. “I’ll do it again until you do it. And just so you know, paladin: For each time you owe me an ale.”

Drea was laughing her ass off as she saw Casavir’s face.

 

Ruru wiped her mouth and stared at the men... and the laughing Drea with such an angry expression one could have thought that she was about to stab someone.

 

Before Ruru could say anything, though she was suddenly pulled up and pressed against someone. Casavir’s deep voice apologized before he kissed her and replaced Bishop’s kiss with his own. For a long time she just stood there. Confused, scared. Happy. Her emotions ran wild but Casavir didn’t let go. She felt his tender lips soften up a little, but he kept kissing her.

 

It wasn't exactly like in her many fantasies in the dark of night. It wasn't like she had imagined.... no.... it was better than any of those moments she had thought how it would feel like. 

Her heart stopped before it sprung into gallop like a wild horse inside her chest. At first she didn't answer the kiss, but then she relaxed against Casavir, wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. Kissed him like she had always wanted. Pouring out her emotions to that one simple gesture of affection. 

_ I could die happy now!  _ she thought as she kissed Casavir even more.  _ I don't give a damn about the world anymore! But... actually... I do. I want to see it with him!  _

 

It felt like an eternity before Casavir let go of her. His cheeks flushed the moment she looked up at him. “I... I must ask your forgiveness, my lady.” Ever the polite…

 

Ruru smiled and gently caressed Casavir's cheek before she snuggled against him. "It doesn't matter anymore." she said and happiness could be heard in her voice.

 

Casavir carefully sat her down again, this time making sure Bishop couldn’t get to her.

Bishop just grinned and carefully looked at Drea. She didn’t seem to be angry, thank the gods. To make sure though, he hugged her tightly and whispered to her how much he loved her. 

 

Ruru looked at Casavir with worry. Would this be the end of it, though? Would he ever hold her like Bishop did Drea? Would their relationship be that of a student and a teacher? And would the barriers of social status become a wall that would be as high as the highest mountain, with no path to cross it, and with no means to go through it? 

She was scared that this would be it. This one kiss... and nothing else. She felt her heart becoming heavy.... and then she turned to stare at her hands that were resting on her lap. Just one kiss to keep the embers of hope emitting some heat.  _ If this is all I get, then I better stop hoping for more. _

 

Casavir felt unsure. He wanted to hold her more, but was it alright? He looked at Drea and Bishop who had gone back to snuggling up, Drea treating the punch Casavir had dealt to Bishop with some magic. Perhaps it was alright. Here in the carriage where only their friends could judge them. And they wouldn’t. 

And so his hand carefully searched Ruru’s.

 

Ruru glanced at Casavir with a question. Then she took his hand in both of hers, squeezing it. She tried to keep her sobs as silent as she could... because Casavir was being so distant. Even now. 

So she took her hands off of his, took her distance. It was no use to hope more than what she had gotten. It would always be like this. Distant closeness. A rift between hearts.

 

But this time Casavir wouldn’t have it. He took her hand back into his and gave her a determined look. “If you wish me to leave you alone you have but to say it, Rudia. But I need to tell you before: I feel for you. I may have been a fool not to notice your feelings, but I know what I feel for you.”

 

Ruru swallowed her tears, but her voice was cracking nonetheless. "And what is it that you feel for me?"

 

“They are both morons…” Bishop rumbled. Drea giggled.

“I… thought I made it quite clear, my lady.” Casavir said. But then he decided to show her again. This time he pulled her close in a gentle manner and his lips were soft as they met hers. 

 

Ruru closed her eyes and answered to Casavir's kiss with her own. What doubt she had in her heart was now erased. What sadness and worry she had bottled was washed away with a single tear that trailed down towards her jaw and was wiped away by Casavir’s thumb that gently caressed her cheek.

_ We went the long way, didn't we? We got hurt, yet we laughed and supported each other. But we got there in the end, didn't we?  _ Ruru found herself citing a poem in her mind. 

She leaned her head against Casavir's chest once their lips parted.

 

He held her close. The woman that had snuck into his heart almost unnoticed. What a fool he had been. With careful movements he spread the blanket over both of them. Their friends would not judge. Perhaps on another day they would have to think twice, but not now. Not here. He could just hold her and not think about anyone else for once. Only her…

 

Ruru snuggled against Casavir's side, looking sheepish, but she still smiled happily. She hoped the journey would take a long time... so that they didn't need to worry about what other people thought about.  _ Please, goddess of love, don't let this moment end!  _

  
  


It did end. They had lunch inside the carriage, but as evening approached they stayed at the inn of a small village. To Ruru’s excitement though there were only two rooms left. 

“The two ladies should take a room together.” Casavir said. 

“Like hell I will let you take my Bishop away.” Drea protested. “You can sleep with Ruru.”

 

Ruru's cheeks became as red as the ripe apples in the fruit basket on the counter.  _ Sleep with Casavir.... Ok! It's probably nothing like.... that... just...  _

"Yeah", Bishop seconded and pulled Drea against him. "You can share the room with the bard. If it's too scary for two virgins like you, just build a wall dividing the bed."

 

Casavir thought it best not to correct Bishop’s assumption right now. Especially not in front of Rudia. He glanced over to her. “Would.. that be alright with you?”

 

Ruru nodded. "I... I can sleep on the floor or couch or...."

 

“No. You will take the bed.” he insisted. Drea and Bishop just left them to their silly debating. 

 

Ruru looked sheepish. One part of her wanted them to sleep side by side, but maybe it was too early for such things. She really didn't know how these things worked out. With Alec it was mostly just walks in the park and dates in the city, but it wasn't... as serious as she had hoped it to be. A few times Alec had snuck into her room, half drunk, and then fell on the couch to snore whole night through. Ruru had cursed those times so much even a sailor would have seemed like a nobleman.

"Alright", she agreed eventually. "But If you get too uncomfortable, you can always reserve a spot... on the bed... I won't take too much space anyway."

 

To her surprise Casavir chuckled. “You should not tempt me, my lady. I heard Bishop and Andrea argue about stealing the duvet from one another."

 

"Lovers' quarrel. Little things", Ruru gestured with her hand. "I can use a cloak."

 

He laughed quietly. “And make me worry for your health, my l...ittle dragon?” There was slight teasing in his voice, but also something that made Ruru’s heart skip a few beats.

 

Ruru wanted to find something snappy to retort with, but whatever her mind came up with, it was gone right when she met Casavir's look.

"Ju.... Just you wait! This dragon might spice your rose tea one morning!" she stuttered, throwing a challenge at him with playfully gleaming eyes and a wide but shy smirk.

 

“Ah but I would notice. If you do not want to share the tea with me, how would I not?”

He smiled as he finally saw that little spark in her again. He liked that about her, the way she was not bland like most noble ladies and yet she was a lady. He remembered the dress he had asked Andrea to make. Would she look as beautiful in it as he imagined?

He turned away and nodded towards the table in the corner. “How about we leave our friends to themselves for tonight and have dinner as… just you and me?” 

 

Ruru's heart skipped a beat, and she had hard time to comprehend Casavir's words... till she nodded in agreement and revealed a wide, happy smile to him.

"Yes! I would love to."

 

The food was nothing fancy, but it was good. Of course Casavir kept a polite distance, but he smiled at her whenever Ruru wondered what he was thinking. They had a nice conversation, some wine and stories of their pasts. For once things were alright. Even though Ruru didn’t have to be a lady, she still felt like one and so she kept her back straight and ate with care, much like she had been taught. Casavir smiled at her and gave her a small sign he noticed it. He felt glad to be with her like this. Perhaps she really was the one. His other half. He knew he had to introduce her to his family as well and it worried him a little. Of course they would understand and as the third-born son there was nothing to worry about regarding inheritance. She could simply be herself and pursue her role as the dragonborn should they become a married couple. But as a man he felt nervous. Perhaps much like Bishop or Andrea when she had lead them to her family. 

 

Ruru was smiling, and laughing genuinely as they conversed, but of course she noticed Casavir was being nervous. It was easy to read him... especially when she had watched him all the time. 

"Is something bothering you? You seem nervous. If it's about sharing the same room... if you really feel like you can't do it, I can always occupy a warm corner somewhere in the inn."

 

“Heavens, what kind of man would that make me?!” he exclaimed. “No. It... It is about my family. Introducing you as my student... would have been easier.” He looked somewhat flustered. “But... If you allow me, I would rather… introduce you as... well…”

 

Ruru touched Casavir's hand with her own and looked deeply into his eyes, feeling just as flustered as him. "As your... shall we say... spouse? Maybe a bit too strong of a word in this case. As your... lady friend? I do not mind it, if you don't. If you wish to introduce me as your student, I can act the part as well. But... I don't like lying. Neither do you. It would be too obvious."

 

He reached over the table for her hand. “I won’t lie, my lady. Rudia.” He corrected himself once again. It was really not easy switching between the two. Perhaps it would be alright when they were officially… A smile drew over his face. “It is simply so sudden. But I am sure we will figure out how to do this.”

 

Ruru gently rubbed his knuckles with her thumb to calm his nervousness. "We'll figure it out, Casavir... dear." she added the last word quietly, looking quite sheepish as she did. Maybe it wasn't allowed. Not... like this. She just wanted to try it out. Just once.

 

He nodded. “We will. And we will always have our friends. It will be alright.”

 

Ruru smiled. But she also was afraid. What if Casavir's parents wouldn't like her? Would they notice what a country girl she was?

  
  


Eventually they went to bed. Casavir waited outside the door until Ruru was done dressing and tried hard not to look at her in her nightgown. She looked even smaller than usual, more fragile and soft. 

 

Ruru quickly went to lie on the bed and she picked up a book to read. She made sure the duvet covered as much of her body as possible. The perfect cover to steal glances of Casavir, who changed as well....

 

He kept his back turned at her, but it was still enough for Ruru to drool slightly. It irritated her somewhat. She wouldn’t have thought that this was a thing that actually happened. She quickly swallowed and turned her eyes to the book. 

“You should not read for too long. Sleeping in the carriage is not all too comfortable.”

 

"I'll finish a chapter and then go to sleep", Ruru replied. "They aren't too long in this book."

 

Casavir sat down on the bed next to her. “Will you allow me the joy of a good night token, my lady?” Ruru could feel there was no pressure in his words, he would not be angry if she said no.

 

"When will you learn to say my name?" Ruru chuckled, not blaming him or anything, as she placed the book down and sat up. She looked almost pleading. "And yes, permission granted."

 

Casavir bent over her and gently pulled her into his arms. He kissed her lips softly. “My beautiful Rudia.” he whispered. 

 

Ruru's heart jumped, stopped beating for a second... or two.... and it began to race. She answered the kiss with her own. "My Casavir", she whispered back, holding onto him. 

 

When the kiss stopped he covered her with the duvet and made sure she wouldn’t freeze before returning to the bedroll on the floor. He felt content and for the first time ever he understood why Bishop always held on to Andrea like this. 

 

Ruru glanced at Casavir with slight worry. She wanted to invite him on the bed, but at the same she felt troubled by the thought. She didn't want to appear too.... clingy, or nagging. She turned to her side, keeping a space big enough for the man join her if he so wanted. But considering he was ever the gentleman, he wouldn't do it. 

"Sleep well, Casavir", she whispered before she closed her eyes.  _ If I wake up and see everything is like yesterday, I'll wage war against gods!  _

 

It was. 

When Ruru opened her eyes sky was still blue and the hills and forests were still covered in white. But something was not like before. Casavir had already left the room, but when Ruru hurriedly got dressed and went downstairs he was already waiting for her. With a small kiss on the back of her hand he invited her to join them for breakfast.

“We saved you some of the eggs.” Drea stated, smiling at her friend.

 

Ruru was all smile when she sat down next to Casavir. "Good morning to you too!" she said perkily and took a slice of bread, cheese, then she filled her plate with almost everything. 

"I had forgotten how.... simple and good tavern food is!"

 

“Isn’t it much like the one you get in the great hall?” Drea asked.

 

Ruru bit into the bread and chewed, then swallowed. "Is it? I don't know. Tavern food has... a homely feeling to it. I don't know. It's hard to explain, or maybe I'm nostalgie struck."

"Or Paladin struck", Bishop teased. "So how was it?"

 

“Bishop! Let them have their secrets.” Drea said, but her eyes showed curiosity.

 

"I slept peacefully, thank you for asking", Ruru said as she took another bite.

Bishop frowned. "Slept? So.... the paladin didn't even....?" he stated in disbelief. "What, he couldn't get it up?"

 

“Unlike you-” Casavir sighed. It was no use arguing with Bishop. Especially since he was not like that. He had left his beloved untouched. “Unlike you think I have no need to do that after such a short time. You of all should understand.”

 

Bishop glanced at Drea from the side. Yeah... he understood more than enough.

  
  


They finished their breakfast and got back on the road. In the afternoon it began to snow. Drea continued her work on an embroidery. She seemed to enjoy her work and Bishop seemed to enjoy watching her. 

So Casavir and Ruru shared a blanket again and talked quietly. 

 

Ruru was telling more about High Rock, and her life in the farm. Small little things, and what her parents were like. She revealed more about herself as well, what truly made her to pursue the life of a bard.

"It was just... that I loved stories. I loved writing and storytelling. I loved to sing. I just wanted to become someone who could keep those pieces of history and legends alive, so that the next generation would not forget. It was hard to leave the farm, it was harder to make Solitude my home... but the studies kept my thoughts away, and Alec showed me around the city more than enough to not get lost."

 

“Alec?” he asked interested.

 

Ruru's eyes showed sadness, but also bitterness. "A fellow bard. Someone who claimed he loved me, but once his sonnets brought attention from other women, he disregarded me. I broke it up eventually. He was basically cheating on me."

 

“Then perhaps I should thank that fool.” He pulled her a little closer.

 

Ruru snuggled against Casavir. "No, don't waste your breath on him. I know I wouldn't if I saw him again."

 

“Somehow the name rings a bell. But who knows, perhaps I have heard of him before if he is a bard. Speaking of which, I hope you brought your lute. You could play some once we are home.”

 

Ruru smiled. "A bard never leaves without her lute, was what my music teacher used to say. I have it among my luggage."

 

Casavir smiled. “Then perhaps you will honour us with your play at dinner once we arrive?”

 

Ruru's eyes shone brightly. "I would love to!"

 

Drea smiled. Tomorrow they would be home. Casavir had promised to arrange for a cell for Bishop at full moons and so they were able to be home for Saturalia together. In their last letter her parents had written to bring Bishop, if he could get out, and Bishop had made her read the part several times, looking more excited each time. It was clear to her that Bishop didn’t only smile because of her parents asking about him, but also because he had been enjoying himself when they had visited them back in autumn. Perhaps one day they could live there. At home with their own little place and a lot of space outside for Karnwyr to run around and hunt. 

 

"Maybe a little cottage...." Bishop mumbled absentmindedly as he stared into the distance.

 

Drea looked over to him in surprise. “What’s on your mind, love?”

 

Bishop woke up from his thoughts and quickly distracted Drea with a kiss. "Never you mind my ramblings, sweetness. Here, you missed a carrot!"

 

“I don’t see a carrot.” she said with a smirk. “Come on, share your thoughts with me.”

 

Bishop looked a bit embarrassed. "Well.... you know... I know we can't stay in the paladin fortress forever, and Karnwyr likes forests, not stone walls... so... maybe... once this is all over, we could... build our own home, somewhere... wherever you want. You could make clothes and sell them...."

 

He could see on her face that she loved the idea. “Perhaps close to the Imperial City? So we can see my family more often?”

 

Bishop smiled and kissed her. "Anywhere you want, sweetness. As long as you'll be happy, I'll be happy."

 

She snuggled a little closer. "We should do that. But we might need to ask the order for... you know… that you will be allowed to go live where you want.”

 

Bishop glanced at Casavir. "Well, paladin? Any ideas if your order might agree? I mean, yeah, we can build a cell in the basement or something."

 

“Well… I am not sure, but given how well you are working together with the order it might be alright. Perhaps they would be alright with just assigning someone to watch over you or give Andrea the knowledge of how to deal with a werewolf.” Casavir said, “When there is a will there's a way, I shall see what I can do for you.”

 

Drea hid her head on Bishop’s chest and kissed it. “I love you.”

 

Bishop held Drea close and buried his nose in her hair. "I know, sweetness."

Ruru smiled at the two. They looked so adorable together. She couldn't help but glance at Casavir from the corner of her eye, wondering if they'd ever be able to be like that.... when the knight always kept a certain distance. 

_ Well... maybe it'll be better in the future. I guess it'll be enough for now to know that he.... cares for me. Just as much as I do care for him. _

 

Ruru’s eyes met Casavir and with a gentle movement he pulled her a little closer. 

 

Ruru leaned against him and smiled widely. "But.... when we reach your home, we won't be able to.... do this all that much, right?" she asked as her expression slowly dissolved to seriousness and sadness.

 

“No. But don’t worry, I will introduce you properly. And there will always be a few moments we might find for us.” Casavir stroked over her arm. 

 

Ruru leaned just a little closer. "Even if we don't, I'll just put it on your tab. And I'll collect with interest." she revealed a grin to him.

 

Casavir looked at her dumbfounded. 

 

Bishop laughed. "You got yourself a feisty one, paladin!"

Ruru tried to look as cute and innocent as possible. "I'm just a little kitten wanting some love."

 

“Little kitten, eh? Careful, Casavir once you give that kitten some milk it turns into a dragon.” Drea laughed.

“No milk for you then, Rudia.” Casavir said with a chuckle. “There are enough Dragons in the world already.”

 

Bishop started to laugh. "I bet she'll be milking you in no time, Casavir! Bwahaha!"

 

Casavir had been with Bishop for long enough to know what the ranger meant. 

“No.” He simply said.

 

Bishop stopped laughing and stared at the paladin in slight bemusement. 

 

“What, Bishop?” Casavir glared back at him. 

 

"Nothing, paladin", Bishop grinned and turned his attention to Drea.

 

Drea was happy about the attention. She smiled brightly and kissed her beloved. “Mine, all mine!” she declared. Casavir chuckled and made sure Ruru was covered well and lay comfortably in his arm. “Mine, all mine.” he whispered into Ruru’s hair. 

 

Ruru felt a lovely shiver run down her spine when she heard Casavir say that. She lifted her face and quickly kissed the side of his chin. "My dear knight."

 

The carriage moved on and on. The two couples in the carriage were content. 

The next morning they reached the Imperial City. Drea’s home to be precise. Casavir and Ruru would travel a little further, but for now they got of the carriage with their friends and helped carrying the luggage inside. Both Casavir and Ruru greeted the family and wished them nice holidays. Then they got back on the carriage and left. 

Drea immediately snuggled Bishop, pulled him to the room their parents had prepared for them and then hurried to help her mother with lunch.

 

Bishop chuckled. "Such a sweet, silly woman."

He started to unpack a bit. He got his bow and warm clothes. He should go out and hunt with Karnwyr. Get some fresh meat for Drea's family, maybe even prepare some skins as well. Just a short little excursion in the nearby forest would do. So he changed and put his quiver and bow on his back, checked that his knife was still sharp and then he went to the kitchen to tell Drea he'd go hunt.

Karnwyr, who had occupied a spot near the fireplace, lifted his head.

"Come on, buddy. Let's go catch something! Can't have you get all spoiled in here!"

 

Karmwyr happily followed his friend. Travelling in the carriage had been fun, but he was a wolf. He needed to run and play and hunt. 

When Bishop told his Drea he’d go out with Karnwyr she quickly assembled a lunchbox for him with hot tea and bread. 

 

Bishop kissed Drea long and lovingly as he accepted the lunchbox. It was still a bit... overwhelming to be cared for like this. But he liked it. 

"I'll come back as soon as Karnwyr has had his fill. Is there anything the house needs? I can bring a tasty wild boar if I find one."

 

After a short conversation they came to the decision that Bishop didn’t have to, but if he hunted something they could use it for saturalia dinner. Bishop noticed how proud Drea was of him. 

 

Bishop nodded and with one more kiss on Drea's lips he left with Karnwyr.


	21. Chapter 21

Being outside with only Karnwyr felt good. The area around Drea’s home was nice, the snowy hills and forest, the sky, Karnwyr’s excitement, but most of all knowing that this winter... He was not alone anymore. He wouldn’t have to turn into a beast just to keep warm and not freeze to death. No, he was packed in warmly and would return to her once his hunt was done. And it was alright not to hunt anything, too. He didn’t have to go hungry anymore when his prey got away. Because now they were together. A smile drew across his face as he made his way towards the forest. 

Once in the forest, Bishop stopped momentarily and took a deep breath. He loved this crispy air in his lungs now. He gestured Karnwyr to search, and the wolf disappeared into the bushes while Bishop scanned the nearby area for any trails to follow. There were plenty of fox trails, rabbit trails and some other animals. He followed a deer. The trail seemed to be only a few hours old. 

But then something caught his eye. A trail of crimson in the snow. First he thought it was just autumn flowers sticking out of the snow... but of course his ranger instincts told otherwise. He would know the color of fresh blood anywhere.

What made him follow that blood trail, if someone had asked him that in that very moment he wouldn't have had an answer to give.  _ Because I just... had to.  _ would seem like an excuse.

Then he heard it. A wolf's agonizing yelp. He would recognize that anywhere. For a moment his heart stopped as he feared something had happened to Karnwyr. He hurried his steps. Then another echo pierced through the forest. A man's scream. Then he heard growling, more whining.

"Karnwyr!" Bishop shouted in panic and ran towards the noises. "Karnwyr!"

But as the ranger came to the scene of slaughter, he realized it wasn't Karnwyr who had been in danger. There were two hunters lying on the snow in their own blood. And right next to them was a snow white wolf, covered in blood. Barely alive. The arrows sticking out of it made Bishop's stomach turn upside down. He didn't know why... he had done it too, many times, but this was just.... wrong. As he walked closer, he saw more wolves, both young and older ones. Dead... ready to be skinned.

"Shit.... were those two crazy? You never approach a pack during winter. It's suicide." he mumbled as he carefully crouched next to the white wolf. 

_ Female, barely old enough to have her own pups.  _ he thought as he inspected the beautiful creature. The wolf released a powerless snarl. 

"I know... I know... don't worry. I'm not gonna hurt ya", Bishop said and carefully removed an arrow. The wolf snapped at him, and Bishop pulled back.

"I said I'm not gonna hurt you... well... okay... that must hurt, but I'm trying to save you, alright?" Of course he knew the wolf wouldn't be able to understand. He just hoped that the blood of the beast in him would allow some kind of connection. Maybe... hopefully.... or maybe not. 

He worked fast. He took the arrows off, checked for any broken bones, then he took off his cloak and wrapped the animal inside it.

"You won't survive like this for long. I need Drea's help." Even though Bishop had rather strong-worded opinions on mages, now he truly wished he could use some healing magic on others. He lifted the white wolf into his arms and started walking. Along the way he whistled for Karnwyr. Bishop knew he was acting stupid right now, but something.... something just clicked in his mind when he saw this creature. Maybe it was because he was reminded of himself... and Karnwyr. Maybe it was because... he had learned so much from Drea. He'd usually just put a suffering creature out of its misery, but this time... this time he felt like he had to make sure this female would survive. She was too young to meet her end in the cold.

 

He hurried his steps back to the city, back to Drea who was shocked to see him covered in blood. Once she saw the wolf and heard Bishop’s pleading explanations she didn’t hesitate to help the wolf. If Bishop thought this wolf mattered then it did. He didn’t have to explain it. 

While Bishop held the wolf down with all his strength Drea healed her. Her parents looked at the couple and the wolf for a moment before they fell in line and got some water to clean the weakened beast and an old blanket. Of course they were afraid of the wolf, but given how much Bishop could handle Karnwyr and that he probably had a connection to wolves…

 

The white wolf snarled and struggled to get free when the humans held her down and eased her pain. It was a powerless effort of escape, and eventually she just fell asleep once all the pain was gone. 

Bishop sighed deep and kissed Drea as thanks. "Sorry if this came out of the blue."

Karnwyr stared at the female with a tilted head. Then he turned on his paws and ran to the door and tried to open it. When it didn't budge, he glanced at Bishop and Drea, barking demandingly.

Bishop got up and opened the door to Karnwyr. "Don't go too far, buddy. I don't want to see you in the same situation."

His partner was gone into the forest before he could finish.

 

“What happened?” Drea asked once Karnwyr had run off. She began to clean the blood off the floor, leaving the wolf alone for now. 

 

Bishop went to help Drea. "I heard sounds of a fight in the distance while chasing down a prey. I first thought Karnwyr had gotten into trouble, so of course I hurried to see... but.... then I saw her", he nodded to the sleeping female wolf. "Her pack was already slaughtered, and the hunters were dead when I came to the scene. She was barely breathing. I just... couldn't leave her there to die. I could have, of course, gone the other way too and put her out of her misery, but... I just couldn't. I can't explain it. Something just… I had to bring her here."

 

Drea nodded. Of course there was no explanation per se, but if Bishop felt it was right to save the wolf than it was. “But we need to inform the authorities of the dead hunters.” she said. “Are you sure they were hunters? Attacking wolves… Don’t get me wrong, but either they were really stupid hunters to not notice the pack or they attacked the wolves on purpose. Even I know that you don’t do that, especially in winter. Wolves are more aggressive then. No offence.”

 

Bishop shrugged. "Either stupid, dead hunters or stupid dead bandits trying to survive on wolf meat. I could go to the city and inform about them, since I know the location of the bodies."

 

Drea nodded. “Yes, you should. But try to get back soon. I don’t know how to handle wolves. You know… Karnwyr is different, but this one might attack once she wakes up.”

 

Bishop kissed Drea. "Just keep your distance from her. Open the door to show her she can leave if she wants. I'll be back as soon as possible, love."

With that Bishop left.

 

Meanwhile Drea and her parents cleaned up and decided to put the white wolf in a big cage in the cellar with some water and meat. Drea’s parents just didn’t deem it safe to let the probably confused wolf run free and Drea had to agree. She made sure though to make it comfortable for the wolf. Poor thing. Hopefully Bishop knew what to do.

 

Later in the afternoon Karnwyr came back, carrying a huge, white hare in his jaws. He looked for the female everywhere in the main floor, and when he didn't find her, he whined miserably and nuzzled Drea with pleading eyes.

 

Drea had already opened the door to the cellar and she and her parents watched as Karnwyr got to the female. 

 

Karnwyr placed the hare in front of the female's nose and carefully nuzzled at her with a gentle whine. 

The white wolf opened her eyes and started snarling at Karnwyr, who back away right after pushing the hare closer. The female carefully stood up, wobbled to the water bowl, sniffed at the water and then drank the bowl empty. Then she sniffed at the fresh kill and started to devour it, always keeping an eye to the other wolf. 

Karnwyr just sat at a respectable distance, letting the female eat in peace. He knew his alpha would share the kills as well, he just did as his alpha would do.

 

Drea noticed the white wolf glanced at them warily. She didn’t attack, though, so perhaps she knew that they had helped her earlier. Maybe she understood that they didn’t mean harm, but it was best to wait for Bishop. They got the wolf some more water and Drea moved very carefully as she brought it to the wolf. She placed it in the middle of the room, the white wolf growling at her to keep her at distance. Once Drea got back, though she slowly got closer and drank. 

It was about half an hour later when Bishop got back, all tired and exhausted. He hadn't liked answering so many questions the guards had when he had shown them the dead bodies. 

He hurried to Drea after taking off his cloak and gloves.

"Hey, sweetness, you alright?" He glanced at Drea and then his eyes wandered to the wolf. 

“Yes.” Drea answered. “And I think our patient is alright, too. Karnwyr brought her a fresh hare. I think she liked that a lot better than our meat.”

 

Bishop chuckled. "Yeah, I guess Karnwyr knows what ladies like. He's had a good teacher after all", he smirked. Bishop then crouched and carefully approached the female wolf. Of course he got growls and bared teeth, but Bishop was patient. He knew how this would go. Either the female would realize that he would not harm her and back away from her stance, or she would attack to kill the threat. 

"Just so you know, I saved your life. You know it, don't you? I know you are hurt and lonely, but it's alright. You're free to leave", Bishop spoke quietly as he stared at the white wolf. It was silly, but he spoke from his heart. If he truly could connect with her.... she would understand. He knew it, because he was able to do it with Karnwyr. In some way. 

"No one will harm you. Not me, not Drea, and Karnwyr is the least of your worries. He's not that stupid of a mutt, you know?"

The female just continued her growling.

"Yeah, I know. I know. It sucks. However, the door upstairs is open. If you want to leave, we won't stop you."

 

Karnwyr jumped in to help Bishop. He pushed Drea a little and the young woman motioned her parents to make the way free for the wolf. Then he looked at the white wolf to see if she was following. He ran back and forth between the cellar and the door that stood open.

Eventually the white wolf followed him, warily eyeing the others. Once outside she sprung into a run and was out the door and gone. Karnwyr watched after her with a little whine. 

 

Bishop sighed. "Well... At least I was able to help her. But I feel sorry for her. If her whole pack was slaughtered... she may not survive alone."

 

Drea stepped next to him. “Perhaps. But maybe she’ll find a new pack. You did.” She slipped her hand in his. “Let’s head inside. With all that excitement we completely forgot about lunch. I’m really hungry now.”

 

Bishop chuckled. "Yeah, me too. Though I did eat your lunch box on the way here."

 

Drea smiled. They headed back inside and had a very late lunch. 

The day passed by with a lot of talking and catching up. Eventually it was time for bed. Drea slipped into her nightgown and waited for Bishop. Karnwyr sat by the window and looked out, looking somewhat sad.

 

Bishop changed fast and rubbed Karnwyr's head in a brotherly way. "You miss her, huh, buddy?"

 

Karnwyr whined a little. 

 

Bishop petted Karnwyr a bit more. "You know that she's probably not going to accept us as her pack. If she really wants to, I'm not complaining. I think it's about time you know how to get a girl for yourself." he grinned a little as he glanced at Drea with an intense look.

 

Drea chuckled. “Playing wingman, love? Just come to bed and snuggle me.”

 

"Snuggles coming right up", Bishop said as he gave Karnwyr few more pets before joining Drea. She snuggled up on him, like she did every night. They soon fell asleep. Karnwyr however kept looking out the window. It was late when he lay down but only a little later he jumped up again. He heard a howl outside, not far away. And he recognized whose howl that was. He jumped Bishop and began to pull the duvet away from the sleeping couple. 

 

Bishop woke up with a startle. "Karnwyr! Stop that!" he angrily pulled the duvet back, but then he heard the howl outside. "Huh? It's just another pack of wolves howling, you've heard them before, you silly mutt!"

But then he realized it was only one wolf. Drea murmured sleepily.

Karnwyr went to the door looking at his alpha.

 

Bishop glanced at Drea who was still sound asleep. He kissed her forehead and carefully got up, covered her warmly and changed to this outdoor clothes. Bishop followed Karnwyr outside after putting on his boots and cloak, and of course, for precaution, he had his quiver of arrows and bow.

 

Karnwyr hurried towards the forest and the howling. Then he found her. The white wolf howled about her loss and pain and the sorrow in her heart. Bishop watched as his friend joined her. He knew what the conversation was about. Living with a wolf taught you things. Things like the soul in a feral wolf. The beating heart in everything. He joined them, imitating their howls as he had done often before, not only with Karnwyr, but long before that. And he remembered the day when he had lost his friend. A wolf with dark fur, a bit bigger than Karnwyr and with a wild heart. And he howled, told the white wolf about the loss of his friend, told her that the pain would lessen and only leave a scar on her heart. For a long time they howled, talked like this, stayed together. Morning dawned when the white wolf approached Bishop and sniffed him, got to know him enough to trust him. 

 

Bishop allowed the female to approach him and when he felt it was alright, he greeted her with a nuzzle. He wasn't tired, but he thought Drea might worry if they wouldn't come back. He looked at the female with kind eyes and gestured "hunt" by putting his hands against the ground and did a small snarl. Of course Karnwyr was already agreeing to this. The female looked unsure. Bishop repeated the gesture and the female seemed to agree as well.

This time Bishop came back with deer meat and pelt, and Karnwyr and the white female had had their fill of fresh kill as well. Bishop had cleaned her fur from the blood.

 

Drea had just gotten up when Bishop got back to the house with the two wolves in tow. Karnwyr was a big help to show the female it was a safe place. Drea’s parent’s were unsure about the wolf, but Bishop assured them she wouldn’t hurt them as long as they didn’t threaten her. “Just tell me if she is trouble, I’ll deal with it.” Bishop said.

“Did you spent the night outside?” Drea asked. She helped him out of the cloak and rubbed him to warm his arms up. “Are you tired?”

 

"Tired? Nah. But I could eat a dragon whole if I could", he grinned and kisses Drea. "Sorry if I worried you, sweetness."

 

She kissed him. “Let’s get you guys some breakfast then. I take it you found a new friend?” She looked at the white wolf and offered her hand to be smelled.

 

The white wolf looked wary. She glanced at Bishop, then Karnwyr, who encouraged her with a bark. She came closer and very carefully sniffed Drea. There was the smell of the human male who had cried with her, and the smell of the male wolf. And then.... a smell of the female. It was kind. Warm. She remembered her. She had eased her pain. 

The white wolf smelled Drea for a while before she nuzzled Drea's hand as a gesture of acceptance.

 

Drea greeted the wolf in return. She was a lot less worried than when she had been with Karnwyr. She gave the white wolf a few pets before Karnwyr squished in, demanding some, too.

 

Bishop laughed. "Glad you got two hands. One for each.... wait... then I have none! Oh bummer."

The ranger entered the kitchen to prepare the meat he had brought.

 

Soon he was joined by her parents, helping out. Drea went outside with the wolves to play and get to know the white wolf. She knew Bishop had taken her into the pack. So this wolf would stay with them, but she was feral. It would be difficult to have the wolf staying with her family or later when Bishop was locked up perhaps. They would have to teach her.

For now though the wolf seemed content with their presence. Karnwyr happily played with her and they ran through the snow so fast that Drea could barely keep up.

 

A little later Bishop joined them after eating a large plateful of food. He smirked while he watched the wolves playing tag together, and Drea trying to keep up with them. He ran to them, joining Karnwyr for a little wrestling. After besting Bishop, Karnwyr jumped to chase the female around, and they both had their own little wrestling session. Of course Bishop kept an eye on them, but it seemed that it just was their way to establish and solidify their relationship within the pack. 

"She looks a lot better now. Last night she was so miserable, crying alone in the wilderness."

 

“So that is why you left. You heard her and wanted to give her wolf-cuddles.” She watched the two wolves. “You let him win. Trying to help him impress the girl, eh?”

 

Bishop smirked. "Hey, Karnwyr is at his prime right now! Can't have a gentlewolf like him just wither away." He pulled Drea against his side and he nudged her nose.

 

She turned to him and snuggled in his arms. “Much like you. You know.. I have been thinking about what you said… That we can’t have a family. But maybe… maybe we still can. I mean…” She looked up, looking sad. “I love you, Bishop. I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else. But If we can’t, then maybe we can adopt a child one day.”

 

Bishop was quiet for a moment. Seemingly a small eternity as he stared at the two wolves, playing together. Then he looked deep into Drea's eyes.

"Yeah, we could. One day."

He looked sad as well. Knowing that his beast blood might affect their child... just teared him up inside. If there even was the slightest chance that Drea might not survive such a pregnancy, he would certainly not take that risk. He pulled Drea close, holding her tightly against him.

"I love you, sweetness. You're my everything."

It was a really sappy thing to say, but that's what he meant, with every breath he took while being near her.  _ If only I didn't have beast blood in me. I'd show her how much I feel for her. _

 

Drea smiled through the tears that stayed in her eyes. “Well, if Karnwyr and her bond, then perhaps we’ll have puppies at least. We really should figure out a way to live somewhere more suitable for a wolf.”

 

Bishop smiled and kissed her cheeks. "I'll figure it out. Maybe.... a meadow? I know few places we could build our little cottage..."

 

“What about Ruru and Casavir, though? I mean… we don’t have to, but… I don’t want to leave them alone. I know Casavir tries to prepare Ruru so she can get back and fight the dragons. I just don’t want to leave them alone.”

 

"Well, we could always go with them. I guess that bard needs a ranger... and a mage at her side." Bishop said. "I don't really care much about the dragonborn stuff, but I know she's your friend. And where you go, I'll go."

 

Drea looked up at him. “I guess then we’ll travel with them for a while longer. Who knows, maybe Ruru was right with that wishful thinking and we even find a cure on our travels. After all sometimes things like this are buried in old tombs, right?”

 

Bishop kissed Drea. 

"Yeah, maybe. But I'm not going to hold my breath. Either it's possible or it's not. Spending a night in a cell one night in a month isn't so bad anymore... not when I know that it's to keep you safe."

 

“Speaking of which… What should we do with her when you turn? I know Karnwyr gets along with your beast, but maybe it’s only because he knows it is you. Should I keep her with me?” The white wolf ran towards them, now having noticed Bishop.

 

Bishop crouched to greet the female with a nuzzle. "If she wants to be with you. Maybe you should keep Karnwyr with you as well, to keep her calm." then he smirked. "Maybe we should give her a name. If she's part of our pack now, we need to call her with something. It might take a while before she learns to listen to it, but we'll teach her." 

While Bishop talked, he petted the white wolf with long and gentle strokes. 

 

She seemingly enjoyed the gentle pets, much to Karnwyr’s jealousy, who hurried over to get his share. Drea thought on a name. 

“I think it has to be something nice. Something that she will easily identify with herself, but also that tells others that she is a good wolf, a friend and not a feral beast that eats children. You know, so that when we call her at an inn people will know she belongs with us and is tame enough to not attack them.”

 

Bishop petted both the female and Karnwyr, who was trying to steal the pets for himself. "Hey now, ladies first!" Bishop laughed before his face was shadowed with a thoughtful frown. "Something nice.... hmm.... Snow might be too generic."

 

“Maybe something that means snow.” Drea said. “What aboooout… Oh! Lumi. Lumi means snow. It was in one of my fairytale books. Lumi was the name of the snow spirit.” She looked at Bishop. “What do you think?”

 

Bishop smiled and stroked the white wolf. "Lumi. Good girl, Lumi." he repeated over and over, till the female just jumped against him, and licked his face.

 

Drea petted the wolf and said her name, too. Lumi didn’t really know what they were saying, but she knew they had taken her into their pack. They were humans. Her pack had always stayed away from them, but these humans were… good. And the wolf that was with them was too. He had found her. And his alpha had howled with them even though he was a human. But he also smelled like a wolf. But not like the cheerful one. Like another wolf. And the other human… she had made the pain go away. Yes, she could be in their pack. 

 

Bishop chuckled as Lumi just kept licking his face. "Yeah, yeah, kisses to you too." He firmly pushed Lumi away and then gave her a pat on the head. "Good girl, Lumi. Welcome to the pack. We'll howl with you."

Then Karnwyr started to howl. It wasn't like last night, not sorrowful and taking part in the loss of Lumi's pack, but a cheerful song to welcome her. Soon Bishop joined, and Lumi as well. Bishop glanced at Drea and smirked. "Can you join this howl? Just... think your happy thoughts and pour them to a howl."

 

Drea had seen them howl together before. She didn’t think she was all that good with it, but it couldn’t hurt to give it a try. So she let herself feel the howling and then carefully joined in. She thought of them, Bishop and Karnwyr, about what they had been through together and then about Lumi, about what they would see together in the future. She howled with them, long and from the deepest reaches of her body and soul.

 

Eventually they stopped and went back inside to have some tea. The wolves were treated with a juicy bone, one for each so there would be no fights. Bishop had decided to show Lumi that in this pack food was shared. Just like he had done with Karnwyr.

 

While they had some tea the two wolves were lying on the floor lazily and gnawed on the bones. Drea felt happy. She was home and even though her parents were rather strict on times they seemed to understand that the wolves were a part of Drea and Bishop's family. Of course Drea knew she had to keep especially Lumi from destroying anything in the house, but to know her parents allowed the wolves in the house meant a lot to her.

Then there was a knock on the door...


	22. Chapter 22

Ruru was awestruck by the size of Casavir's home. As the carriage drove through the road which was lined with trimmed trees and bushes, now bare from leaves because of the cold of winter, but someone had had the time to put some small candlelight spells to illuminate the way to the front yard, which was decorated by a large hexagonal fountain, now frozen solid.

The mansion itself had two storeys, its seemingly countless windows were large, some were covered with heavy red curtains while others gave a view to a salon or a parlour. On the side of the main building was a glasshouse, that still held greenery inside. It seemed it was being heated even during winter for fresh herbs and such.

Servants hurried to take the luggage and Casavir offered his arms to Ruru once she was out of the carriage. An elder man bowed to Casavir, welcoming him home, and he also welcomed Ruru with polite words. Ruru only nodded and let Casavir do the talking to avoid any mistakes. She was already nervous for meeting Casavir's family, she had to mentally prepare herself.  

The butler, or whatever the elder man was, gestured them to get inside from the cold. At the entrance hall Casavir helped Ruru out of her cloak and Ruru took off her gloves. She couldn't help but marvel at the interior which was magnificently decorated. Gold reliefs, pastel blue wallpaper, decorative tapestries and expensive paintings dotted the walls; marble floors were topped with exquisite rugs, and stairs made out of some wood that looked really expensive. If Ruru hadn't been to the Blue Palace already witness such marvelousness, she would have fainted from the sight of this place. Of course, Casavir would not let her falter. He held her near and Ruru sought his support with discreet gestures. 

 

“Don’t worry, you will be fine, my lady.” he said, giving her a warm smile. "Just calm yourself and smile.”

In the past days Casavir had shared more about his family. He had two older brothers and one older sister as well as a younger sister. All of them were married already. His parents, both in good health for their age had been married for many years now and grown to like each other more after their arranged marriage. She knew that both of his parents were open people, kind to others unless provoked and didn’t worry about etiquette too much with their children when they had been young. Casavir’s oldest brother was a rather serious man, but kind enough. His sisters were polite young ladies, but when they were outside of the public eye they were more forthcoming. Rosella, the older one was strict when in society, but a loving mother to her children. His younger sister didn’t have children of her own yet, but according to Casavir it was likely to happen sometime soon.

 

Ruru took a deep breath, corrected her posture and put on a smile. She was still nervous, but at least Casavir was with her. It would be alright.  _ So this is what it feels like to meet... parents of your beloved one.  _

Casavir escorted her to a salon, sat her on a chair near the fireplace, and after he was seated, in Ruru's opinion too far away, two maids brought tea and snacks.

"The Lord and Lady will be with you soon, young master, my lady", one of them informed.

 

Casavir smiled to Ruru. “You do know what comes after telling my family about our union, right?”

 

Ruru quickly sipped tea and placed her cup down. "Hmm.... midsummer wedding?" she joked.

 

“If you wish it to be midsummer.” The small wrinkles around his eyes distracted Ruru for a moment as he gave her the most dashing smile yet.

 

Ruru's heart was pounding.  _ Married... to Casavir....? Oh gods, oh, be still my heart!  _

"It would give my mother and father the time to join us", she answered and returned the smile with her most brightest one.

 

Casavir nodded. “But there's something that happens before, which is why I will have to leave you here alone tomorrow.”

 

Ruru looked a bit sad. "How long will you be gone?"

 

He looked into her eyes. “So… you will accept my proposal?” He looked at her with a deep and intense look. One that made her feel the weight of her answer. He wanted to ask her to marry him. Here, where his family would be to witness their union. 

 

Ruru gazed into his eyes, unable to turn away. She thought about it really hard. They had known each other for six months, she had watched him from afar, loved him and adored him, and only just now they had finally been able to show it to each other. 

_ If it was someone, it would be him. I can't think of anyone else. It would be a while before the wedding as well. We'd have enough time to get to know each other... have our arguments, mistakes and misunderstandings. It would be alright. I want to believe that it will be alright. _

"Yes, Casavir", she finally answered. "I will accept your proposal."

Then she smiled and chuckled a bit. "Though I was always hoping it would happen during a romantic candlelight dinner or... during a walk on starlit night. I'm ever the romanticist."

 

Casavir chuckled. “It might still happen, my lady.” he said mysteriously. “As you know though, some kind of order has to be preserved, especially given that you will be introduced into society at the ball my mother is going to host.”

 

Ruru smiled and sipped more tea. "I know, Casavir, I promise I won't let you down." She glanced at him, almost hoping for a kiss... or even holding hands, anything at all. But she knew it would not happen like that. Not right now.

 

She knew a lot of things. Not. Just as she thought that Casavir moved over to do exactly that. He kissed her lovingly. “I know you won’t.” His hand lifted her chin after the kiss so she looked in his eyes. “And I will protect you, Rudia. With my life if I must.”

 

Ruru smiled and snuggled against him. "And I'll protect you in return. With everything I have."

 

Casavir chuckled once more. “You have a whole world to protect and still chose to protect me? That must be-”    
He couldn’t finish his sentence. His parents entered the room, side by side. 

 

Ruru quickly corrected her posture and distanced herself from Casavir. She stood up, and Casavir joined at her side. She made a curtesy and greeted the elderly couple politely.

 

It was the first of many mistakes she was to make in the following days, but neither Casavir nor his parents worried too much about it. Casavir greeted his parents respectfully before hugging his mother and then introducing Ruru as a ‘close friend’. 

“I wrote you about Miss Rudia, if you remember. She is the dragonborn. She only just had finished her training at the bard’s college in Solitude when the first dragon attack happened and she soon found out that destiny hold more for her. We met in Solitude shortly after and I joined her on her quest. She is still in need of more training, both in combat and etiquette, but she has a good heart and trains hard.”

 

Ruru just stood there and smiled kindly. 

The lord of the house eyed the young woman from head to toe.

"Yes, I remember you writing about her in the letter, Casavir."

Casavir's mother smiled welcomingly to Ruru. "Just be yourself, dear. Under this roof you don't need to worry about mistakes."

"Thank you, my lady." Ruru said with a sigh of relief. Casavir was right about his parents. They weren't all that bad at all.

 

Casavir sighed in relief on the inside, too. For his mother to say this to Rudia meant she understood their relationship and accepted it. It meant a lot more than Rudia did know. 

“I hope you have been well while I was gone.” Casavir smiled at his mother and father. 

 

They all sat down and the maid quickly filled cups with tea and offered them to the lord and lady.

"Yes, dear. Mostly", the lady started. 

Ruru listened the lady speak about every single little good and bad thing that had happened. Like a vase breaking, or their youngest grandchild learning to walk and talk, and then there was the incident with the cook in the summer. The old man had fallen asleep in his chair and the dinner had burned to a crisp.

On the inside Ruru tilted her head. Such little things and it was said in a manner that made it bigger than she would think. Maybe nobles really had that sort of mentality when they had everything they could ever hope for, unlike her... a poor country girl.... a bard... 

"Of course I shouldn't forget to mention your father's riding accident this autumn. His arm is still sore, but the fracture has already healed."

 

“You make it out to be a grand thing.” The elder man waved it off and instead asked Casavir about how life had treated him. Casavir held things rather short, as always, but Ruru noticed that he talked a bit more lengthy about the things that happened since he had met Ruru. 

 

Ruru smiled and just listened to Casavir's voice. The lady sometimes asked her for more details, and Ruru gladly told them, but mostly she just sat there quietly and let Casavir share his story.

By the time Casavir finished his story, the male servant from earlier came inside the room and announced that lunch had been served in the dining hall.

"Oh? Is it that time already? My the time flies", the lady said and glanced at Ruru. "You should change into something more comfortable, dear." Then she turned to look at the old butler. "Han, is the guest room ready?"

"Already done and the young Miss' belongings have been arranged inside." the butler answered.

"Excellent. Hmm... Sandra, you should aid her getting ready."

The maid who had served them tea bowed. "As you wish, madame."

 

Casavir gave Rudia an encouraging smile before he left for his own room to get ready. There was a small sadness in his heart about not being able to stay in the same room as her, but he knew they would have the chance again someday. He changed into more appropriate clothes for the dinner, wondering what Rudia would be wearing. He had given Andrea a rather large order to get Rudia some proper clothes for her time here and from Sonea’s words they had turned out really well. He chuckled quietly at the memory of Sonea complaining that Andrea had not made a dress for her, too. But she understood that with Casavir’s order the young woman had to do a lot already.

 

Ruru was lead to a fabulous looking room on the second floor. The windows gave a view to the gardens behind the manor, and Ruru could see rosebushes and other plants just waiting for spring to release them from the cold of winter so they could bloom once more.  _ I wonder what kind of view that garden is during summer. _

"Young miss, which dress will you wear?" she heard the maid ask and she hurriedly turned to look at the open wardrobe, and all of her dresses arranged inside according to color and style. 

"Hmm... should I wear red", she wondered aloud. "I wonder if it's appropriate."

Sandra took out the dark red dress. 

Ruru gasped from awe. It was more beautiful than she had anticipated. The maid looked at her with a question and Ruru nodded. "If it's not too flashy for dinner."

Sandra chuckled and ushered her behind the changing screen. "On the contrary, young miss. Madame wanted for you to be comfortable, and I think this dress is the perfect choice."

And so during the next half an hour Ruru felt like a porcelain doll who was dressed, her hair combed and her face powdered till she looked a little too pale when she stared at her own reflection. Of course she was pale to begin with. No matter how hard she tried to get a tan, it never worked. If anything, she burned in the sun.

"A little less makeup would have sufficed." she complained.

“Pardon me, young miss. I'll remember that the next time. We should make haste to the dining room. Lord du Generell doesn't like to wait."

They left the room and Sandra escorted Rudia to the dining room.

 

The Lord and Lady already sat by the table while Casavir waited for Ruru by the door to lead her to the table. He pulled out the chair for her and made sure she sat comfortably before sitting down on the chair next to her. Ruru knew that much: The way they were seated, Casavir next to his parents and Ruru next to him meant that he clarified their relationship without having to use words. Nobles and their strange rules. But it was Casavir. She would keep up with it for him.

 

The food was exquisite. Ruru wanted to glutton it down and ask for seconds, but she knew better. Dinners like these always lasted for a good time, each dish complementing the previous one. She ate slowly, joined the conversation. She felt oddly relaxed, even though she was constantly worrying about her posture and table manners....

"So, Miss Rudia, would you like to tell us about yourself? Casavir only shared the story about who you met and everything after that, but what did you do before you knew my son? I recall you were studying to be a bard." the lady of the house asked.

Ruru nodded. "Yes, my lady. I grew up in High Rock, and I was fifteen when I left home to come to Solitude and become a bard student at the Bard's College. It was only little more than half a year ago when I graduated."

She was hesitant to say that she was a daughter of a farmer.

 

“High Rock. That is a long way, Miss Rudia.” Lord du Grendwell said. “Might we know of your family by chance?”

 

Ruru swallowed discreetly and wiped her mouth into the napkin. "I doubt it, milord." she glanced at Casavir, but realized she had to survive this alone. She was afraid to tell. Horrified to be exact. 

"My family owns a farm..." she started carefully.

 

Of course Casavir had long revealed this to his family in his letters, but he knew exactly why his father asked this question. His father knew well that Rudia was born to farmers and as such he had to make sure she was not out for his son’s wealth only. With an encouraging smile to Rudia Casavir nodded. “One would not think this when she plays her lute, though. She plays even better than Rosella.”

 

Ruru smiled to Casavir and encouraged she started to tell in detail about her home. About the little cottage, the fields, the animal sheds, her life in there... everything. 

"And, lastly, if you allow me to be so straightforward, I should add that I do not care for wealth. I value love and closeness over money. And even if, that is... if such a day would come, that Casavir would lose everything, I still wouldn't mind it. I would still have my lute, and my knowledge how to cultivate land. I would still have him. If my father and mother would have only wanted wealth, they wouldn't have stayed together. I learned from them that money is not important. If anything, money only brings misfortune. It's good to have, but it's not the most important thing."

 

Everyone fell into awkward silence. It was not really an appropriate thing to say, especially because Ruru had only just been introduced to them. Casavir coughed uncomfortably. “...On other occasions she will still need to learn a few things.” he said with embarrassment.

 

Ruru only now realized what she had done. And she wished the earth would swallow her to its depths.  _ Oh I'm such an idiot! Akatosh, please turn back time and make me undo that! They'll think I'm a complete lunatic!  _

 

“Well.” Lord du Grendwell said, quickly regaining his composure. “At least she is a smart young woman. Forgive me, Miss Rudia if my question made you feel like you had to defend your intentions.”

 

Ruru tried to hide her embarrassment when she glanced up. "I should be the one apologizing. I have still so much to learn, it seems."

Lady du Grendwell chuckled. "I think we can do that tomorrow while Casavir is away, don't you agree? And I would also like to hear you play for us later."

Ruru's eyes started to shine. "Yes, my lady! I would be honored to play you a song or two."

  
  


Ruru’s play made up for the embarrassing mistakes she had made earlier. She played for Casavir and his parents alone, singing and using her lute to accompany her voice. Casavir leaned back in his chair. As often as he had the chance to listen to her, tonight it seemed to be even more beautiful. His thoughts drifted to the next day. He had to find the right thing to do for their engagement, which was even more difficult with the short time he had to plan it. It was only four more days until the ball and he knew this was the wisest day to announce their proposal. Before that he had to clarify the details with his father and lastly he had to keep Rudia’s feelings in mind. A candlelight dinner or a walk under the stars… it was something that was easily arranged, but that alone would not do. First of all he needed the right ring, then he had to plan the dinner, but with his family. If all went well Rose would be here with her husband and the children. This time he would have to make sure Rudia would not feel offended and blurt out her honest feelings. Of course that was something he loved about her, but it would make things difficult for her in this house. He knew that his mother would be a great help, though. In fact, he could imagine his mother would be all too excited to even change the theme of the party on short note for him and Rudia, just so they would be in the center of attention. Luckily his father would prevent such a thing. He could leave the choice of a dress to his mother, though. Not to forget that he had to invite Andrea and Bishop for the party, and officially. Of course he knew that neither of them would be angry if they weren’t invited, but they were friends and if he was honest, so much more. Four days… it was simply not enough. He had to send a letter at once and get Bishop and Andrea here to make sure they would be fine at the ball. Bishop didn’t even possess any clothes to wear for the occasion. And as Rudia’s best friend, or at least to his knowledge, Andrea needed to be visible at the party, which meant she would need a better dress than what she had prepared. 

His eyes followed Ruru’s fingers on the lute. As the song ended he excused himself and outside he called for Han. 

 

Ruru watched Casavir as he exited the room and a small sting of sadness pierced her heart.  _ Was he angry that I had messed up so much already? He would tell me, right?  _ But then she started the next song... and she let it flow clear throughout the room.

 

Casavir began to work on the arrangements immediately. He wrote the letter to Bishop and Andrea, to be sent first thing in the morning, then he made a list of things that had to be arranged for the dinner with his family. The invitation for Bishop and Drea , written on fine paper, went into the letter as well. Next up he made sure that a seamstress would be here by afternoon the next day and he inquired for Han to get a sleigh ready for a ride as soon as his sister would arrive. It was late when he returned to the parlour where his parents and Rudia sat together and conversed. He sat down next to his beloved and apologized for his absence before joining the conversation. 

 

Ruru beamed a lovely smile to Casavir, and the sadness in her heart was only a distant memory now. 

 

“I assume you have written some letters.” Casavir’s mother smiled at her son. “Your lovely friend just told us of the horses on their farm.”

Casavir couldn’t help but to smile. Yes, it was a lucky coincidence that Rudia knew so much about horses and shared the same love for them as his mother. If things went well perhaps they would be able to ride together at some point. 

 

The evening went by just like that. Topic changed often to keep the conversation interesting, and Ruru gladly told about her life in the college and on the farm. After a cup of tea the lord and lady were ready to retire. Casavir's mother hugged him tightly, wishing him a good night, and the father only nodded to his son and Ruru. 

"I hope to hear you play for us again, Miss Rudia", Lady du Grendwell said and Ruru nodded. 

"Just bid me so, and I will, my lady."

Once the old couple had exited the room, Ruru relaxed.

 

Casavir smiled to her. “You should go to sleep, Rudia. I arranged for a few things and if all goes well Bishop and Andrea should arrive some time around noon. I will not be here in the morning, but you can simply follow my mother’s lead and I also left orders for the servants. I know you don’t like it much, but please follow their instructions until I get back.”   
He took her hands. “You have my word that I will do my very best to make things right.”

 

Ruru looked into Casavir's eyes and squeezed his hand. The only answer she had was a gentle kiss on his lips.

"You can count on me. I can't mess things up any worse now", she chuckled and for a moment snuggled against him before she stood up. "Good night, my Casavir." she said with a smile.

 

“It can be much worse.” He chuckled. “But I am sure you will pull through. May I escort you to your bedroom?”

 

Ruru's cheeks became red... but all thanks to the layer of makeup the maid had applied, it was less visible. She nodded, driving away the indecent thoughts she suddenly found herself thinking.  _ Oh curse you, brain!  _

 

Casavir escorted her to her room. In front of the door he stopped, giving her a loving smile. “Good night, my Rudia. I hope you will have wonderful dreams.” Before she knew it he had bent down and his lips brushed over hers. 

 

Ruru wrapped her arms around his shoulders and answered the kiss with her own. "Sweet dreams, my dearest", she said once her lips were free and in a haze she entered the room, followed by a maid who had been assigned to her for as long as she was a guest of the house.

 

Casavir went to bed as well, ideas and thoughts on his mind for all the things that were to come in the following days.

 

Ruru couldn't sleep that night. Everything that had happened kept her awake and she stared at the ceiling of her room. She just.... couldn't believe that Casavir had proposed to her. And that she had said yes.

"What am I going to do? I wish mother was here..." she mumbled as she turned to her side and stared at the dress Drea had made for the ball. It was fitted on a mannequin, so that it wouldn't get wrinkled. To her it almost seemed like a wedding dress. 

"I'm going to be in so much trouble.... or more like...  _ I'm  _ going to be trouble."

As she closed her eyes to count sheep, she thought of Casavir and how hard he was working to get things right. For her... for them both.  _ If only I could help him...  _

  
  


Ruru was woken up by a gentle knock on the door. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Mm.... enter..." she said sleepily and her personal maid entered the room, wishing her a good morning. 

"Lady du Grendwell and his lordship are expecting you for breakfast, young miss. We should hurry and get you presentable post haste!"

With that the maid opened the wardrobe and chose a dress for Ruru. It was mint green, with laces on the back and the ends of the sleeves were decorated with golden embroidery. Ruru was half asleep the whole time when the maid helped her dress, and she combed her hair and applied light makeup.

"What about Casavir?" Ruru asked.

"The young lord has already left to conduct his errands, young miss."

Ruru felt loneliness in her heart. She was practically pouting. But then she breathed in and out and readied herself for the task of presenting herself well this time. The maid escorted her to the dining hall, and this time Ruru tried to be as proper as possible.

 

The breakfast went by in silence. There was rose tea, apparently not only Casavir’s favourite, sweet pastries and cake as well as some bread and a plate with different types of fine cheese and ham. 

Once Ruru put her cutlery on the plate in the way she had been taught the lady smiled at her and began to inform her of Casavir’s wishes and that she would take care of Ruru in person. 

For the next hours Ruru was hurried around like a doll. The lady of the house instructed her to do this then that, then turn around and walk in those shoes, then please smile, it would be a party after all and of course Ruru had to think of Casavir who worked so hard for her. The lady gave her best to be patient with Ruru, but it was still torture. 

Eventually there was a knock on the door and Han the servant informed the lady guests had arrived.

 

Ruru heard Bishop's familiar grumbling, Drea's stern hush.... but no wolf barks. Ruru was unsure if she was allowed to go greet her friends or not, but it didn't matter. Bishop and Drea were escorted to the room where the madame and Ruru were.

 

Drea smiled to Ruru but greeted the lady first. “It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, my lady. You must be Casavir’s mother.” She made a polite curtsey. “I hope we are not late, Casavir asked us to hurry, but we had to take care of something first.”

 

The lady gestured them to have a seat. "Not at all. Please, do sit down. Han, tea if you please."

The butler bowed, "At once, my lady.", and left.

Ruru looked a bit troubled. "Where's Karnwyr? I thought he and Bishop never part."

Bishop gave Ruru a look that clearly said: "Are you that stupid, woman?"

"Like Drea said, we had to take care of something. Our pack just got bigger the other day."

 

“To make it short: Bishop found a wounded wolf when he went to hunt and brought her home.” Drea told her friend. “Karnwyr stayed back home with her so she does not feel abandoned by her new pack. But I find the story you should tell us a lot more intriguing. What exactly did you two do in the few hours we parted? Will I have to start designing a wedding dress next? How about some baby clothes as well while I am at it?”

 

Ruru blushed beet red. "He... Casavir... he just... proposed to me!"

Bishop looked surprised. "Already?"

 

“Will propose, dear.” Lady du Grendwell corrected. Then she turned to Ruru’s friends. “Which is why Casavir asked you to join us. It is a custom for the family of the bride to be present as well. Given that Miss Rudia’s family lives far away and they can not attend it would be our pleasure to have you, as Miss Rudia’s and Casavir’s close friends, join us.”

 

Drea looked at the lady and nodded. “Will we… be required to do anything special? As you might see we are simple people with little knowledge of noble customs.”

 

The lady nodded politely. “Do not worry, we will make you look presentable. I assume Casavir informed you about your role at the party already?”

“You mean that I will have to follow Ruru wherever she goes and make sure she remains pure?” Drea asked.

“Oh no. No, my dear, I see we have a lot to talk about. Dear Mara, Casavir has not been so disorganized before. No, as the representative of the bride you will have to prepare a small speech, don’t worry, I will help you with that, and then you will need a better dress. The seamstress is already on the way. And you, young man, will need some proper clothes as well. And a bath” she added, smelling the wolf all over Bishop.

 

Bishop grimaced. "Yeah.... we left in a hurry. Sorry about my.... beastly scent."

Ruru giggled, but calmed down soon after. She had so many remarks on her tongue at that moment that she just couldn't begin to choose... and it was wise that she didn't.

 

A bath was readied for both Bishop and Drea before they were dressed in simple clothes and brought to the room where Ruru by now stood on a small table and was put into a dress like a living mannequin. The seamstress and Lady du Grendwell were discussing the colour when Bishop and Drea entered. 

“It should be a gentle colour to show the blossom of her youth.”

“Yet strong, in her position she should not appear weak.”

“But feminine, a warm yellow perhaps.”

 

Ruru looked frustrated. "Please, no yellow", she pleaded.

"But it would compliment your skin, eyes and hair, dear", Lady du Grendwell reasoned with a disarming smile. "Trust me."

 

Drea looked over the fine and soft fabrics that were spread out. So many colours and all those different types. While Ruru tried to convince the two women that she please didn’t want yellow, Drea walked through the room and inspected the things.

_ Blue. _ she thought. it is a noble colour, both manly and female, strong and gentle. With the right stitches and ribbons the dress would make Ruru look perfect. So she assembled some of the blue cloth and wrapped it around her friend.

“Bishop get me the silk over there. No, not that one, the indigo one, no that’s turquoise. The one next to it, yes and then that one.” she pointed. “Perhaps…” she looked at Ruru. Nah, ... no good for an engagement, let’s use some net instead. Flowers are not so much for winter… but perhaps… with some trails downwards… And we can’t have your skirt be all pompous, that would make people think of you as a gold digger, no, but something decent.” she babbled while Bishop tried to get her the things she had asked for. By now he was used to her ordering him around like this when she got creative. 

“No, no. No no no, Let’s use white instead and adorn it with blue.” She rolled the large cloth up and grabbed some white silk. “And we’ll put your hair up so Casavir can see your neck.” 

Ruru gave her a weird look. 

“Just trust me, men like it when they can protect a woman. And Casavir all the more. Right, love?”

 

Bishop nodded. "Mm-hmm. Trust me, bard, Casavir will go crazy! Better keep yourself ready with a dragon shout just in case he loses it." the ranger grinned.   
"Casavir is not that kind of a man, unlike you", Ruru stated.

 

“Bishop is not that kind of man!” Drea now pouted back. “But anyway, what do you think, Lady Grendwell? I thought since blue is Casavir’s favourite colour it might have a nice personal detail, too. And if we put on some trails like this-” She drew it on the paper that lay next to them. “See? It would have the flowers of blooming love as well as a feeling of winter in white and blue.”

 

Bishop nodded in agreement. "You're an artist with this, sweetness."

Ruru glanced at the draft. "It's beautiful." she gasped.  _ Casavir will love it!  _

 

The seamstress nodded, surprised that this young girl just came in and took over, but she did not know the relationship the girl had to the noble family, so she kept her pride to herself and waited for the Lady du Grendwell to judge the dress.

 

The lady eventually approved of the dress. Measurements were taken and Ruru could finally just sit down... for a minute.

 

Drea assisted the seamstress. She admittedly had little experience still with the fine fabrics, but she had an eye for detail. Once the seamstress had everything and began to work on Ruru’s dress Drea and the Lady of the house began to figure something out for Bishop. 

“Something simple, not too fancy.” Drea said, now almost shyly.

 

"So sheepish, sweetness?" Bishop said with an intense look. "Too bad I can't just show off my muscles... I know you like 'em."

 

Drea suddenly went beet red, something that didn’t happen often. She didn’t even have a reply to this statement.

 

Bishop chuckled, seemingly pleased to get that reaction. He kissed Drea's cheek. "Should I take that silence as an agreement, sweetness? Sorry, I'm teasing you. I'll behave."

 

“You better, young man. Treating a young lady like this...”

 

Drea quickly turned to the fabrics and got some. She was unsure on this. Casavir had some nice clothes, but as a woman of low birth Drea had never really cared for male noble clothing. So she glanced at the Lady somewhat helpless.

 

The lady thought of it for a moment. "Considering your status, I'd say you should use the finest cotton, and embellish with some bronze. Or silver. Hmm... I'd go with black and white, unless he likes to wear a particular color."

"Green", Bishop stated.

 

“Casavir had this one shirt.” Drea began before she took some paper and began to draw.

“He had a vest to it and it was something like this…”

 

The lady recognized the style. "Ah yes, I remember that one. So he still wears it. Yes, it is quite fashionable. I'm sure your escort will approve."

"As long as it doesn't have any prissy laces...." Bishop murmured.

 

Drea grinned. “I’ll put on some just for you.”

 

Bishop glared at Drea, but something in his eyes made his glare more playful than threatening. "Are you trying to drive me crazy?"

 

“That was the plan. Now be nice and let the lady seamstress have some of those muscles you are so proud of. And no complaining.”

 

Bishop stood up and allowed the seamstress to take measures. He behaved himself, of course... well... as well as could be expected from someone like him.

Two maids entered and brought tea and refreshments. Ruru was served a cup and she sipped the rose tea.  _ Mmm.... I could get used to this. Maybe I shouldn't get too comfortable however.  _

 

Finally they made Drea’s dress. She gave her best to make it fit in, choosing a dark blue to go nicely with Ruru’s dress, but with a different cut so that the skirt was slimmer than Ruru’s. With the tull it was possible to make the dress look wider if needed. 

  
  


They were not quite done with the clothes for the ball when a maid hurried into the room and announced Casavir’s return. Suddenly the Lady sprang into motion, hurrying Ruru to get out of the dress and into a dress that hang ready by the side. 

 

Ruru hurried behind the changing screen and her maid assisted her. Ruru could feel her heart pounding against her ribcage. Only now she realized that she had missed Casavir a lot. Being so busy the whole day had just pushed that feeling aside.

 

Drea and Bishop were assisted by some maids, Bishop seemingly frustrated by the way everyone was touching him today. 

Then they were lead downstairs.

 

As Ruru tried to walk down the staircase as slow as possible she could see Drea and Bishop already there, waiting for her. Then her eyes fell on Casavir who was talking to his father. The moment he turned to her she could see he had put on his best clothes, at least Ruru had only seen him in something like this at the ball back in Solitude.

 

Ruru smiled and with deliberate steps she approached her beloved one. She stood nearby, waiting for him to finish his conversation with the lord of the house.

 

Casavir turned to her the second he noticed her. A wide smile drew across his face. 

“You look beautiful, my lady.” Only now Ruru noticed the bouquet of roses. 

He kneeled down.

“My lady. I know we have only known each other for a few months, but your gentle heart and strong will have caught my heart. Will you accept these flowers, my heart and my my hand in marriage?”

 

Ruru's eyes moistened from tears and she released a noise that was between sob and awestruck gasp. 

"Oh, Casavir!" she was able to sniffle out before she leapt into his arms and kissed him. "Yes! By the gods, yes!" she breathed out as she sniffled and chuckled at the same time.

 

Casavir had to react fast so Ruru wouldn’t throw him over. He balanced the roses in one hand while holding Ruru with the other and forced his knees not to give in. Behind Ruru he could see Drea squeeze Bishop really tightly because she was so excited. 

“My lady… You should wait with the kiss until we are officially engaged.” But although he lectured her Ruru could hear he was just as happy as her. “Will you allow me to put on the ring first?”

 

Ruru looked a bit embarrassed as she stood up. She mumbled something about "good practice" before she cleared her throat and behaved herself. She offered her left hand to him and smiled while shedding tears of happiness.  _ I need to write home about this. And to Armand as well. Though I don't know if letters reach him all that easily.  _

 

Casavir hurried to get up and gently wipe away her tears with one of the always present handkerchiefs. He waited patiently for her to calm down, holding her hand and squeezing it lightly. 

 

Ruru finally took a deep breath and calmed down. She should learn to control her emotions, but she couldn't help it. After all, she was going to be his wife. Casavir's wife. Her knight's bride. It was a dream come true. 

"I apologize for acting so... rashly and according to my own emotions, Casavir."

 

He gently rubbed his thumb over her hand. “Don’t say that, my little dragon. Your fire is what drew me in and your soul is what keeps me.”

There was a quiet   _ Awwww…  _ coming from Drea’s direction.

 

Ruru was speechless. If only she could just burst into a song and sing about her feelings she felt towards Casavir... and even then it would not be enough. She felt her heart swell from her emotions, and she just looked into his eyes.

"There are not enough love ballads to tell you what exactly I feel for you, my dear Casavir."

"You can in the bedr- Ouch!" Bishop started but Drea quieted him with a sharp nudge of her elbow.

“Don’t you dare ruin the moment!”

 

Casavir chuckled, much to the disapproval of the noble house, but he knew his friends and by now he didn’t take offence anymore. Instead he kissed Ruru’s hand. 

“I love you, my lady, my Rudia.”

With that he pulled out a small box and opened it with both hands. 

“So will you become mine, and mine alone?”

A small ring gleamed inside the box. 

It was a simple silver band with a small blue diamond on top. 

 

Ruru gasped as she saw the ring. It was stunning and she marveled at it, feeling a bit too unworthy of it. She was reminded of the story her mother used to tell, how Ruru's father had made a simple ring from birch bark and asked her mother to become his wife. Ruru had to admit that she would have been happy with something similar. 

Her reminiscence lasted for only a second before she answered. 

"As the goddess of love is my witness, I pledge my everything and all of that I am to you, Casavir. I am yours, as much as you are mine to love and behold." she recited an old vow she had once read in a book. It was sappy, in her own opinion, but she felt right to answer that way. Because it was true. She wanted to be his. Completely and unconditionally. 

"I love you, with all of my heart", she finished and almost burst into another set of tears.

 

Casavir, sensing more tears coming, quickly slipped the ring onto her finger and then he pulled her in for a deep and long, loving kiss.

 

Ruru wrapped her arms around Casavir's shoulders and leaned into the kiss, savouring it and deepening it. She didn't want to let go. A few tears fell down her cheeks, but they were happy tears, and she allowed them to fall. This moment was right. It was everything. It had been worth all the wait. All the suffering and hard work. Everything. It all seemed so... trivial now.

 

When Casavir’s lips left hers she was still crying. He kept holding her close and caressed her back, stroking up and down to calm her nerves. 

 

Ruru slowly calmed down and wiped her eyes and face. Her maid stepped closer.

"Young miss, if you please allow it, let's us go to your room and refresh your appearance."

Ruru nodded. "I should. I've ruined my makeup with all this bawling."

"I shall arrange some calming tea as well. Please, let us go", the maid said and gestured Ruru to the stairs.

Ruru didn't want to leave Casavir, but she really had to neaten up.

Bishop had watched the scene.... and all of a sudden he wondered if Drea wanted something like that...

 

Drea was still all swoon. Since Ruru was being led away she hurried to Casavir and to the man’s slight shock she hugged him tightly. “You big silly awesome paladin!” she said. “You are the bestest! After Bishop, that is.” Then she looked at her beloved. “You got some big shoes to fill there.” she teased Bishop.

 

"Shoes? Nah.... trousers more like", he grinned and then he cleared his throat. "Congratulations, paladin. You're going to have a lot of trouble keeping your lovely bard away from all claws of the noble ladies you've made swoon over you these past years." he said sarcastically, but there was also seriousness in his words.

 

Drea let go of Casavir to make room for a friendly handshake from Bishop. 

 

Bishop shook Casavir's hand, and there was somewhat brotherly acceptance in the gesture. "If you need anything, just let me know.... though I think you've got everything you can possibly want. But what I'm trying to say is... uh...." the ranger looked a bit flustered. "Just, you know... if you need to talk to a guy...."

 

Casavir smiled. “You have become a good friend to me over these past months, Bishop. I am glad you are here today.”

Drea called a manhug and pushed Bishop into Casavir.

 

"Hey!" Bishop exclaimed as he stumbled against Casavir. "I'm into you and not guys, sweetness!"

 

“Manhug! Aww, darn, you ruined it.” She pouted. 

Both Casavir and Bishop stepped away from each other, but looked at Drea, Bishop with a loving expression for his silly woman, Casavir with a generous one. 

“We should put these in a vase.” Drea said, taking the flowers from Casavir. 

 

Ruru returned after a while, her makeup fixed and her hair combed. She practically glided to Casavir, smiling from ear to ear so brightly and happily it could have lit the whole room.

Bishop was holding Drea near to himself, playing with her hair while being seemingly contemplating.

 

Drea was irritated by that, but she let him do it. Maybe it was his way of expressing that he felt happy, too. Because their friends had finally found one another. 

They were lead into a salon, where tea and cake had been prepared. Ruru now understood why Casavir and his mother both had insisted on today, not the day before, being the day of proposal. They had prepared for this. Made it perfect. 

Casavir lead her to the seat right next to him, now sitting a lot closer to her. His eyes seemed to be even brighter, even more intense, like the sky on a crispy winter morning. 

 

Ruru was all smile the whole time. She held Casavir's hand in her own, ever so often gazed into his eyes with a loving expression... everything felt like it had snapped into its place. 

She tasted the cake - which was so delicious it made her eat another piece. It basically melted in her mouth, spreading sweet and zesty taste on her tongue. And the tea was godly. The best she had yet.

 

“I swear the only thing that can make Ruru deny a third piece of this delicious cake is Casavir.” Drea stated, eyeing said cake with hungry eyes. 

 

"Yeah, all she needs is a certain piece of him inside he--- Ouch!" Bishop yelped again.

 

“I hope you were going to say the heart.” Drea stated as the Lady of the house pulled her elbow away from Bishop.

 

Bishop rubbed his side. "Yeah... something like that." he said with a pained voice.  _ Damn.... for a noble woman she can pack quite the.... elbow. _

Ruru didn't mind of such comments. It was expected when Bishop was around. All she cared about was Casavir right now, but then she began to feel curious about the new wolf Drea had mentioned. 

"Tell me about this new family member. The wolf Bishop rescued."

 

“Oh, well.. I think Bishop should tell the story.” Drea said, encouraging Bishop to redeem himself with his love for animals. Wild ones anyway.

“New family member?” Casavir asked, just as curious as Ruru.

 

Bishop straightened his back. "Yeah, well, you see, I went to hunt with Karnwyr and happened upon a.... shall we say.... gruesome scene. A whole pack of wolves were slaughtered and the two hunters.... or bandits, whoever they were, were dead as well. Then I discovered a beautiful white wolf, all covered in blood and badly injured. I wrapped her inside my cloak and headed back to Drea's parents' house and ask my darling to heal the wolf. We took care of her and once she was well enough we allowed her to go. That evening Karnwyr woke me up and we heard her howling alone in the fields. Me and Karnwyr joined her mourning and took her with us. We call her Lumi."

"Lumi", Ruru repeated. "That's the spirit of snow in ancient nordic folklore."

 

“You… joined her mourning?” the Lady asked confused.

“Yes.” Drea said. “Wolves are actually really smart creatures. I used to be afraid of them, but Karnwyr is such a sweet wolf. And Lumi seems to be really smart, too. We healed her and then she ran away, but she came back and although we put her in a dark cellar, right after all of her family got slaughtered by humans no less, she does not seem to think of us as the same kind of humans.”

 

Ruru smiled. "Animals, even wild ones, are wise enough to know the difference between enemies and friends. I'm glad you were able to save her and eventually accept her... I mean... I'm glad she decided to join your little pack. Now she won't be alone."

 

“Yeah, but we had to leave them back home. I really hope Karnwyr can handle her.” Drea said with a worried expression. “But we hardly could bring her with us when the contact to humans is still new to her.”

 

Bishop caressed Drea's cheek to sooth her worry away. "I wouldn't worry too much, sweetness. Karnwyr can handle a feisty lady like Lumi. After all, he learned from the best." he smirked.

 

“Did you just call me feisty?”

 

"Maybe I did", Bishop grinned wolfishly as he looked into Drea's eyes with an intense look.

 

“Now that is just rude, young man.” Lady du Grendwell stated with a slight frown. 

 

Bishop groaned. "Sorry. Did you expect me to be like pr-- Casavir?"

"No, but certain courtesy is recommended" the lady answered.

 

“Yes, Bishop! Courtesy me!” Drea grinned at Bishop, clearly mocking him. “May I have more cake?”

Casavir smiled. Andrea was a lot like Rudia. She just didn’t worry much for where she was, she just stayed friendly and honest rather than polite. He turned to Ruru. “Would you like to compete in the race for more cake, my love?” 

 

Ruru was already getting the next piece of cake. "Bring it on!" she announced the challenge with shining eyes and smile.

 

Casavir smiled and joined in with the cake eating. It was not something usually done on an occasion like this, but he wanted for her to be happy, to feel at home. And so did his parents, silently accepting the afternoon not following the normal etiquette.

 

That day was probably the happiest yet for Ruru. She laughed, joked, laughed more and just smiled. She was happy that Drea was there with her, to see all this unfold. And she was glad that Bishop was there too, teasing Casavir every opportunity he got. 

The day slowly turned to evening and at dinner the conversation continued in its casual manner. 

"The guest rooms for Miss Andrea and Mister Bishop are ready", the old butler announced.

"Rooms?" Bishop frowned. "Hey! What's that supposed to mean, huh? I sleep in the same room as her, and I don't give a damn about noble rules. I'm not indecent with her... if that's what you're afraid of."

 

Drea nodded. “We belong together.”

Casavir confirmed that as well. 

“But you are not married. It would not be right-”  Lord du Grendwell threw in.

 

"So, you claim that in order for a man and woman share the same bed they have to be married?" Bishop asked, using as polite tone as possible, though everyone could see the slight irritation in his eyes. "Lordship, that's not how the common folk act... at least from what I've seen. And besides, maybe we are about to get married." 

Under the table Bishop took Drea's hand into his own. "We will not be separated by a wall. It's enough that I'm...." he stopped and sighed. "Never mind that part."

 

“A werewolf.” the lord finished his sentence. “Yes, Casavir told us about that, which is why all the more you should sleep in separa-”

“No.” Drea said. “And if you force us to have separate rooms I will sneak into his anyway. We share a home back in the fort, we share the room at home with my family. There is no reason to keep us apart. Unless the talking of other people who have nothing to do with us concerns you that much.” She looked stern. 

 

"Darling", Lady du Grendwell said softly to her husband. "Let us be considerate. It is already clear that they love each other that much. And the young man seems honest, I'm sure there's nothing to worry about. Casavir is a paladin, and the young woman is a capable mage, according to our son. There's nothing to be afraid off, correct?"

Bishop scoffed. "Don't worry. If I change, it's Drea's heart I'm after first and foremost. And she's capable of defending herself. My beast is rather.... keen on getting her."

 

“Or anyone for that matter.” Drea said. “But full moon is going to be tomorrow, not tonight.” 

Casavir nodded. “Be assured father, that I would never endanger you or anyone like this.”

 

The lord seemed to ponder for a moment. 

"Are you certain this will not tarnish our reputation?"

Bishop held Drea's hand even tighter in his and nodded firmly. "She'll keep me under check, as will Casavir and the bard....err... Ruru."

Ruru was slightly surprised to hear Bishop say her name so.... friendly.

 

Eventually the Lord agreed to give Bishop and Drea a room together. Drea thanked him and the Lady for their consideration. 

 

Bishop glanced at Drea and revealed a small, but loving smile.

 

They went to bed. Drea stood in the door for a moment, looking at the fancy room. 

“They should have put us in a smaller room…”

 

Bishop wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Yeah.... but let's not be picky. If we complain, we might end up outside in a tent. Which, of course, is my speciality. I'd keep you nice and warm."

 

Drea smiled. “Did you.. mean what you said earlier? About us?” She closed the door and tried not to look desperate by starting to get undressed.

 

Bishop looked a bit troubled. "Did I.... was I... did I say too much? You know that I'm honest. Lying is not what I do, sweetness. Not when you are present."

 

“So… you don’t… want to get married?” Her back was turned to him, the dress she had been wearing halfway down.

 

"Where did you get that idea?" Bishop looked shocked, then he groaned slightly frustrated at himself. "That's not what I meant!" he exclaimed and stepped closer to Drea, carefully touching her shoulder and then turning her to look into her eyes. "Sweetness... you're the only woman for me. And... I want us to be together. For as long as we both live."

 

“Me too.” Drea said, snuggling right into his arms. 

 

Bishop held her close, buried his nose into her hair. "I love you, Drea. More than you can imagine. You're my world, you know? And...." he was about to say something else, but he felt like it would be silly right now. But still... 

"And... I want us to be united. As husband and wife. Eventually." he stuttered the words out, feeling a bit embarrassed about it.

 

Drea said nothing, but she tightened the hug. Her eyes were closed and she gently kissed his chest. Then the moment was over. “I’m the first in bed!” she giggled and hurried over to the huge bed with the expensive sheets.

 

Bishop changed. He left his torso bare, and wore long cotton trousers instead as he finally joined Drea. 


	23. Chapter 23

Meanwhile Ruru was brought to bed by Casavir. Since they were not married yet they would not share a room, but that didn’t stop Casavir from at least making sure to hold her close and give her a goodnight kiss. 

 

Ruru snuggled against Casavir, almost uttering the wish that he'd stay a bit longer, but she knew better. She kissed him good night, wishing that morning would come swiftly so they would be together again.

"Sleep well, dearest", Ruru whispered as she backed away from Casavir's hold. She had noticed her maid getting impatient.

 

Casavir didn’t worry about the maid. He just held Ruru a little closer. 

“Will you allow me to have breakfast with you in the morning, my love?”

 

Ruru beamed a smile. "And you even ask! Of course! My silly knight", she giggled and kissed him anew.

 

He suddenly picked Ruru up and carried her into her room, sitting her down on a sofa. “I can not wait for us to be married, my sweet Rudia.”

 

Ruru exclaimed when the man swept her off her feet and carried her inside. She held onto him frantically, almost afraid that he'd buckle under her weight... till he safely and carefully sat her down on the sofa. Her cheeks flared crimson.  _ I bet because of the honeymoon....  _ she thought before smiling to him and snuggling against his side. She watched the maid lighting up some candles around the room for more light.

Ruru didn't know what exactly to say. She was still in a haze from everything that had happened over such a short time.

"I wish we could go to High Rock.... I would show you my home... and the meadow where I used to spend my time with my favourite horse...."

 

“I heard there are dragons in High Rock, too. Perhaps we should go there. I would love to meet your family. Sonea expressed the wish to travel again. If you do not mind having her with us we could continue to teach you while we travel.” Casavir looked at her. “What do you think, should we go there once saturalia is over?”

 

Ruru thought about it for a second. 

"Yes. Yes, I think it would be alright. I should write them first, however. If I send it tomorrow, it should arrive before we do. To give mother and father heads up." she explained with a slight giggle. "Mother's going to flip if she realizes I'm engaged to a nobleman. Uh.... don't take it the wrong way. Mother is quite... shall we say.... busybee when it comes to her children."

 

Casavir chuckled to her words. “Perhaps all mothers are. We should plan our wedding early on, if you wish for something specific or my dear mother will take over and arrange everything.”

 

Ruru pondered for a moment. She never really had thought about it. About marriage or what kind of wedding she'd like to have if such an opportunity came in her life. But right now, she'd have it all. A good man at her side, someone who'd really care for her and take care of her without putting his needs first.

"Well... if we hold it around midsummer... and if the weather is favourable, I'd like the wedding to be held outside... in a garden or something like that. I don't... like temples or the like. I mean, yes, I visit them when I feel like I need to pray or ask advice from a priest, but otherwise I try to avoid them. I know it sounds silly to you. Back home we had the shrines of Mara and Zenithar, and we usually prayed to both on the morning and in the evening. That was all the religious things we did..."

She babbled, but she felt secure to tell him this. Casavir knew she wasn't exactly religious, and that she revered to Mara often.

 

Casavir lay his hand on hers. “I am afraid we will have to be wed at the temple. But perhaps my mother knows of another way. Midsummer is usually warm and has great weather. We should talk to her in the morning. And of course we need to make sure your family will feel welcome as well.”

 

Ruru smiled and leaned her head against his shoulder. "Well... I guess I could tolerate in order to be married to you, love."

Ruru asked the maid to bring her some ink and paper. "I should start writing the letters. Would you like to greet my family as well, darling?" 

 

“It is late, my love. Let us write to them tomorrow.“ Casavir stilled her hands. “And yes, I would love to greet them.”

 

Ruru snuggled against him. "It's not so late yet."

The maid approached. "Young miss, you should get ready for bed."

Ruru sighed and kissed Casavir about ten times before she allowed him to leave. After the maid had helped her to clean her face, comb her hair and change into a nightgown, Ruru lay down on the bed, once more staring at the ceiling... and then she lifted her left hand to stare at the ring on her finger. It felt like a dream. That if she closed her eyes now... and woke up on the morning... and noticed that everything had been a dream, she would really curse the gods for their bad sense of humour.

"We'll be halfway to anywhere, where love is more than just your name..." she hummed and finally closed her eyes to count sheep.

 

And the morning came. Ruru woke up to a soft knock on her door and the maid stepped inside and wished her good morning. 

"Young lord is expecting you, young miss. Which dress would you like to wear for breakfast today?"

The maid stepped to the wardrobe while Ruru sat up and rubbed her eyes to drive away the remnants of her sleep. Then she glanced at her left hand... noticing the ring was still there, and then she smiled widely, and a burst of excitement made her jump out of bed and hurry to choose a dress. 

"Hmm.... something elegant perhaps? I want to look pretty for my knight!"

The maid glanced at all the dresses. "Nothing too flashy, young miss. I would recommend this red dress, or the light blue one." she pointed at the options.

Ruru glanced at both. The blue dress was exactly the hue of blue she liked, and the red one was elegant and beautiful. But maybe the blue one would be better on a day like this.

"The blue one", she said and hurried behind the changing screen.

  
  


Casavir loved the way Ruru looked like this morning. It was not even the beautiful dress or the adorned hair. It was the wide smile on her face, her eyes that shone and the slightly nervous hug she gave him in front of his family. 

“Good morning, Rudia.” A soft kiss landed on the back of her hand and his own eyes shone just as brightly.

 

"Good morning, Casavir", Ruru answered shyly, but she kept a loving smile on her face. 

 

Casavir lead her to the table and seated her next to Drea and himself. To Ruru it looked a little odd that they basically sat in a line instead of all close together, but she knew it was according to protocol. But Drea and Bishop didn’t mind, she didn’t even have to ask. Drea was wearing one of her best dresses, looking as happy and cheerful as the day before. She commented on Ruru’s dress, asked her how her night was and gave her a short hug. 

Bishop was as quiet as usual, but knowing him somewhat by now Ruru could see he was not his usual self.  _ He probably worries about Karnwyr and this new wolf _ . she thought. And then there also was that he would turn again at night.

“If we’re not needed today, I think we should go home for the morning.” Drea said.  “The wolves shouldn’t be alone for too long.”

 

The lady and lord nodded.

"Just remember to be here when Ser Bishop… by night, I mean.”

Bishop and Drea both nodded. “I do not mean to be impolite,” Drea started, “but perhaps if you had an area where we could keep the wolves, but where they will be safe that would be great. Karnwyr is rarely ever separated from Bishop and he is a smart wolf. He will worry when Bishop turns and he can’t be there for him. My family does not know wolves too well, so it would be very helpful if they could be here with us.”

 

The lord of the house gestured Han close and the butler bended to hear his master's whispers. Eventually the butler confirmed that the wish will be granted.

"I shall see to it at once, my lord." With that the butler left the room.

"Your wolves will be given a space in the manor. I truly hope they know how to behave."

Bishop looked firm. "Trust me, your lordship. Karnwyr obeys me and I'm pretty sure Lumi will understand as well. I'll make her understand. Somehow. I'm their alpha, after all."

  
  


When they returned, Ruru was being put into more fabrics already. This time Casavir had joined then, Ruru now always wearing a light dress or getting behind a screen. The butler was writing the letter Ruru and Casavir dictated. 

Lumi was wary of the place they had come to, but given that Karnwyr looked calm she decided to follow him and the alpha. They walked to the room where Casavir just drank some tea and looked at the drawings of the dresses that were being made for Ruru.

 

Bishop glanced at the drafts. "Hey, not bad. If you want her to look like a living cream cake."

It was a compliment. The tone in his voice said as much.

Ruru greeted Karnwyr with a gentle pet, when the wolf approached her, but the white one clearly was wary and afraid. Lumi stayed near either Bishop or Drea, but never allowed herself to be approached by another human.

"How have you been, Karnwyr?" Ruru asked as she gently petted the wolf for as long as he allowed her to. Karnwyr just wagged his tail and glanced at the white wolf and released an encouraging bark. Lumi didn't budge as she stayed near Drea. The poor thing looked like a scared puppy. And Ruru understood animals enough to know that approaching her would be a mistake. She would come to her if the female wolf so chose.

"She's very pretty, Lumi I mean."

 

The ladies and Han looked clearly worried about the wolves in the room. Drea knelt down and began to stroke Lumi with long gentle strokes. “Just continue with what you were doing. She is just not used to humans. It’s alright, Lumi. We’ll keep you safe.” She stroked again. Bishop sat down on the floor and relaxed himself to show the wolf it was safe. 

 

Lumi just glanced around warily. She looked at Drea, then at Bishop. The alpha was relaxed. He didn't mind this place. Then she saw Karnwyr lay down next to Bishop. 

"It's alright, Lumi. You don't need to be afraid at all. No one will harm you", Bishop spoke softly as he met Lumi's skittish look. "Don't worry. I'm here. Drea's here. We'll keep you safe."

He said those words with a certain stress. He meant every word, and he hoped the young wolf would understand him. "It's alright, Lumi."

Eventually the white wolf seemed to relax and then approached Bishop, who petted her gently. He nuzzled her as well to tell her it was alright. Lumi then relaxed next to Karnwyr.

 

Casavir watched the wolf and his friends. They were so close and the wolf trusted them after such a short time. It was impressing to him. Usually Andrea was scared of all animals, even including the bunny Bishop brought one time. She always needed time to get used to an animal. Yet here she was, a feral wolf by her side. And Bishop seemed confident enough to bring Lumi here. So taken that in account it was likely alright to introduce himself to the wolf as well. He crouched and got a little closer.

The wolf jumped up and growled, warning her pack.

“It’s alright Lumi.” Drea said. “That is Casavir. He belongs to our pack.” She went to Casavir and hugged him before sitting down by Casavir. Lumi calmed down and watched.

 

Bishop glanced at Ruru. "You should come to introduce yourself as well, so Lumi will know you are part of the pack as well."

Ruru nodded and carefully approached. Of course Lumi was growling, but Bishop stood up and showed the white wolf the bard was part of the pack by standing next to her, looking into Lumi's eyes and with a certain tone he said: "Friend. Sister."

The white wolf calmed down again and just watched as her alpha brought the female close. Bishop took Ruru's hand and carefully brought it close to Lumi for her to smell. 

"Friend", he repeated again with a firm tone. "Sister. Your sister."

Lumi carefully smelled Ruru's hand, which Bishop held so there was his smell as well to show that she was part of their family. After minutes of careful sniffing, Lumi accepted Ruru with a nuzzle. 

Then the same ritual was repeated with Casavir.

 

After a long time Lumi decided that it was alright. There were still other people, but her pack was not worried and to her it was all new. She decided to trust her new pack and just stay close to them.

 

Bishop smiled from relief. 

"That went better than I expected."

 

“Don’t expect too much. Tonight things might be different.” Drea said, petting the two wolves again. 

Casavir nodded. “Father has arranged for the cell in the dungeon that we will be able to look through. I would suggest Karnwyr staying inside with you and Lumi staying with Andrea. Just in case.”

 

Bishop nodded, looking a bit worried. "Yeah."

Ruru couldn't help but feel sorry for Bishop. He clearly didn't enjoy this time of the month at all. 

"If only wolvesbane didn't build up resistance over time. It would be so useful", Ruru said.

 

“No.” Casavir said. “It is poisonous. A werewolf might be able to take a lot more, but make no mistake, it would slowly poison Bishop if he’d take it every month. I prefer simply putting him into a cage and knowing it has strong locks.”

 

Ruru quickly apologized for her ignorance.

"Don't worry about it, princess", Bishop said, and smirked sarcastically.

  
  


When evening came Bishop was long in the cell. Casavir and Drea sat in front of it with Lumi while Karnwyr stayed inside. Bishop was covered with a simple blanket and darn cold. He only wanted for this night to be over so he could lie in Drea’s arms again, where it would be warm. 

 

Bishop just waited.... and waited.... and waited... till the first wave of pain struck him. Then another and another, as every bone in his body broke and got dislocated, as his body slowly shifted into the monstrous form of the beast.

"Dreaaa... don't... loook... at... meeee!" his voice was rough and agonized as he screamed before the final change turned all of his humanity off and he stared at his prey through the bars of steel. He sniffed the air and howled. He was hungry. He needed to hunt. And his precious little prey was right over the other side of the cage.

He felt Karnwyr's nose nuzzling him and he greeted him with a nuzzle of his own.

 

Drea’s eyes were filled with tears. Having to helplessly watch Bishop suffer broke her heart every month. She got closer to the cage, held back by Casavir yet again. Lumi bristled her fur, growling at first, but then she calmed down. That was the wolf she had smelled on her alpha.

 

The werewolf rammed against the bars and growled from frustration when it didn't give an inch. He then tried to reach out to his prey with his claws, releasing animalistic sounds as hunger burned in his beastly eyes. He smelled Casavir... an enemy. He smelled Lumi, a stranger. He smelled Karnwyr, his friend. He smelled the strange cage. It was cold... but he was warm under the fur. And he smelled his prey and his hunger grew. 

He wanted to hunt. To rip things into pieces. He howled and paced around the cage to find a way out. He clawed at the walls, leaving marks all over the solid stone. Then he rammed against the door once more.

 

Eventually he calmed down. It was yet another cage he could not get open. But his delicious prey was there and the new wolf he had not smelled before. Karnwyr seemed to know her, though. He watched the wolf. White as the snow and able to get so close to his prey… He growled, threatening her not to dare touching what was his prey.

 

Lumi tilted her head. Why was the alpha so angry at her. She wasn't going to steal his prey. There was no prey nearby anyway. She glanced at Drea with a lost look to find the answer.

 

Drea snuggled up on her. “It’s alright Lumi. It’s not Bishop. He is not angry at us.” She petted the white wolf and tried not to cry. 

 

The werewolf growled again and approached the door and tried to reach out towards the new wolf. She had no right to claim his prey.

 

Lumi growled in return. She looked at Karnwyr who did not growl at her, but at Bishop to leave her alone. Drea just sat there, holding Lumi back. 

 

The werewolf turned his gleaming eyes to Karnwyr.  _ Leave her alone? Leave the female alone? Who made you my alpha? Who is she? _

Karnwyr kept growling, telling him who Lumi was. That he should not harm her. She was their new friend. Their new member of the pack.

_ But she tries to steal away my prey!  _

Karnwyr barked.  _ No! _

The werewolf calmed down and ignored Lumi. His eyes now drilled into Drea's. His prey. His delicious dinner.

 

Drea eventually fell asleep right next to Lumi. Casavir covered her with a blanket and kept holding watch. He wondered if Ruru was alright. Only two more days before the ball and it was likely that the rest of the family would arrive in the morning. 

  
  


Little did Casavir know that Ruru was awake the whole night, worrying about her friends, but most of all Casavir. She knew he could take care of himself against a werewolf, but she couldn't help it. There were times when she just wanted to go down to the cellar and see if he was alright, but she knew better not to act on such whim. 

It was somewhere in the earliest hours of morning when Ruru was finally too exhausted to keep her eyes open and fell asleep.... only to be woken up by her maid, who announced that a bath had been prepared for her. 

Of course the maid saw the dark circles around her eyes, but Ruru didn't care. It wasn't the first time she had stayed awake all night at a time like this. 

The maid hurried her to the bathroom.

 

Downstairs Bishop was brought into a large pool where he and Casavir would bathe. He had noticed Lumi’s confusion in the morning and Drea had quickly explained to him that the beast had growled at her. He gently petted Lumi and showed her he was not angry. Then he kissed Drea who held him close. Behind her the Lord of the house had coughed and stated it was probably best if he covered himself in front of the lady.

 

"Every time...." Bishop mumbled slightly frustrated.

 

Drea kissed his cheek. “Go take a bath, love. I’ll see you at breakfast.”

 

Bishop kissed Drea once more before wrapping himself into a robe. He followed Casavir to the bathroom. Well... if he was honest to himself, room was a small space with the necessary things, but the bath would have easily fitted two small houses. 

_ Damn the rich folk!  _

 

When he joined Casavir and his father in the water he suddenly heard Drea’s voice. He turned to her in surprise, but then he saw the wall. 

“You didn’t sleep a whimp, did you?” That was her voice.

And then Ruru answered.

 

"Maybe an hour before the maid came and woke me up", Ruru confessed. "I was just so worried for you, Bishop and... Casavir."

There was small hesitation when she said Casavir's name, but the knight was able to hear her concern and love in her voice. 

 

“You should have joined us. Would have been better than lying awake.” Drea said. “And that is not a bath. That is a lake.” She looked at the pool. “Do you think we should watch out for slaughterfishes?”

 

Ruru started to giggle, then her laugh echoed in the room. "Maybe we should have brought fishing poles, just in case we might catch salmon or... trouts."

 

“Wait a moment, are you calling someone old? Poor Casavir if he knew that. Bad Ruru, bad!” Drea scolded her friend while getting undressed.

 

Ruru got undressed as well. "I'll repent properly."

 

“So… you really think he’s old? I mean, he is, but he doesn’t really come off that way, does he?” 

On the other side of the wall Casavir tried not to let the words get into his ears. Bishop though listened closely.

 

"Gods above! No. He is wise and a good man, Drea. Age has nothing to do with it. Besides, I prefer it that way. Boys of my age are such.... you know.... their brains reside in their pants." Ruru explained. 

Bishop muffled a snort. "Spoken like a virgin that she is."

 

The girls spun to the wall. Ruru turned red like a berry while Drea waded over to the wall. “Are you over there, Bishop?”

 

"Yeah, just me, sweetness. Don't worry. I'll keep your secrets." Bishop said as convincingly as possible.

 

Drea giggled. “Why are you over there when I’m over here?”

 

"Bishop chuckled. "You know. I don't want to scare the poor little virgin with indecency. Though we could teach her a thing or two... for the honeymoon if you know what I mean."

Ruru's cheeks glowed crimson and she hurried to the pool.

There were splashing sounds.

"Oh? Did I make her embarrassed?" Bishop questioned with a smirk.

 

“Don’t tease her.” Drea demanded. “Besides I bet Casavir is going to be nice.”

 

"Hmm", Bishop glanced at the knight. "Yeah. I bet so too."

 

Casavir wanted to reveal himself, but he knew Rudia would be embarrassed for what she just said. 

 

“When are we going to have our honeymoon?” Drea asked from the other side of the wall.

 

Bishop looked a bit troubled. "When do you want to get married?" he blurted out.

 

From the other side of the wall Bishop could hear only the soft splashing of water.

 

_ Great! I think I just screwed everything up!  _ Bishop thought and mumbled a curse under his breath.

 

Then something flew over the high wall and landed on the water. “Did you get it?” Drea called from the other side.

 

Bishop carefully waded to the spot. "Yeah, right here."

Drea could hear him pick up something from the water.

 

Then there was a huge splash right in Bishop’s face. He could hear Drea laugh and giggle on the other side while he wiped the water from his face.

 

"Sweetness!" Bishop exclaimed. "I'll get you for this, I swear!" 

Though he sounded threatening there was a playful undertone in his voice and his eyes sparkled from amusement.

 

Drea giggled and sent another bit of water over the wall with some magic. “You’ll have to catch me first!”

 

Bishop growled. "Don't give me a challenge!" He splashed out of their side of the pool.

But then..... Casavir exclaimed. And Ruru realized he had heard her words from the very start. She had barely enough time to turn her back to Bishop who appeared on their side and chased after Drea till he caught her. And from all the kissing and giggling and soft snarling she knew they had their sweet moment together. 

In her mind Ruru was screaming. Because Casavir had heard everything. She wished the earth would swallow her whole.

_ Gods! He must think I'm an idiotic woman!  _

 

Casavir and his father both quickly covered themselves up to get Bishop back on the men’s side of the bath.    
“Bishop! You can’t just-”Casavir exclaimed.

“Please cover yourself, Miss Rudia.” Lord du Grendwell said sternly, while not looking at her. It was a lot harder not to look at Drea who was caught in Bishop’s arms and got water splashed in the face. She was still giggling. “Nooo. Stop! Forgive me!!” She laughed struggling in Bishop’s embrace.

 

Ruru snatched a towel from the side of the pool and quickly wrapped it around herself, and kept her back turned to them. Her cheeks were flushed from the embarrassment.

Bishop held Drea tighter and kissed her passionately before letting her go. 

"We'll continue this after we're alone, sweetness. Prepare yourself", he said and stroked down her spine in a very erotic manner.

 

Drea let out a short  _ eep _ sound and snuggled up on him. then she saw the other two men and hurriedly tried to hide on Bishop’s side. “Don’t look!” She demanded with a flustered face.

 

Bishop was faster. He quickly snatched a towel and threw it over Drea to cover her graces and then waded to Casavir and his father. He quietly returned to the men's side of the pool.

 

The rest of the bath went quietly. Bishop caught a short lecture about decency but he just shrugged it off. “It’s not like the bard has anything my sweetness doesn’t have.”

 

The lord looked stern. "Still, a young man should not invade the ladies' side like that. It's inappropriate."

 

“I’ve seen both of them plenty of times before. It’s not like a fancy house around changes anything.” Bishop grumbled.

Casavir looked at the ranger in surprise. “You have what?”

“Have you been spying on us, Bishop?” Drea scolded from the other side.

 

"Just you, sweetness. But I couldn't help get a glimpse of the bard too when you were sitting so close together."

Ruru's cheeks were so red now even a ripe tomato would have looked pale in comparison.

 

“Why would you do that?!” Drea exclaimed. 

 

“Just watching out for you.” Bishop stated confidently. He didn’t want for her to get hurt. Sure, seeing her naked was certainly a huge plus but he had been watching them in case they were being attacked. She meant too much to him, he couldn’t just let her run around naked in the wilds.

  
  


Eventually they all left the bath. Ruru was escorted to her room by the maid to get ready for breakfast. 

 

Then the rest of Casavir’s family arrived. Suddenly the house became really busy. There were so many new faces and names and the children especially eyed them to figure out who they were.

 

Bishop felt uncomfortable when the new faces eyed him from head to toe, judging and inspecting him. He also hoped that the little kids would not approach the wolves carelessly. Ruru presented herself well, standing next to Casavir and introducing herself properly like a lady should, even though she was nervous.

 

Casavir greeted everyone with a warm smile. He picked the children up and introduced each one of them to Ruru by name. Ruru only now realized how good he was with children. 

 

_ He'd really be a great father one day.  _ Ruru thought as she smiled adoringly and greeted the young children in a friendly manner.

"Uncle, is she new auntie?" one of the children asked with big eyes.

 

Casavir smiled. “Yes. That is Rudia. She and I are going to get married next midsummer. Do you want to come to our wedding and be a little flowergirl?”

 

The little girl looked so excited it was a miracle she didn't start to bounce all over the place. "Can I? Pretty please?"

Ruru chuckled and with a gentle smile she looked into the little girl's eyes. "I would be honored to have you as my flowergirl."

The girl squealed and started to dance around. "When's midsummer? Tomorrow? Next week?"

Ruru laughed softly at the child's excitement.

 

Everyone laughed and Casavir placed a gentle kiss on Ruru’s cheek. 

They went on to do some catching up with the family. Drea and Bishop left for a walk with the wolves. 

 

At dinner they all got together. Drea and Bishop held back, just listening to the people. They seemed nice enough and Drea really hoped Ruru would be happy in this family. 

And her friend was. Sitting by Casavir’s side she tried to converse politely to his brothers, sisters and their betrothed. By now the house was really busy around them. The ball would be on the next evening and the first guests were expected in the afternoon. Ruru was nervous. It would be her grand introduction into society as Lady du Grendwell had put it. Casavir had tried to calm her, but there was nothing much he really could do about the fact that everyone would look at Ruru and have their own thoughts on her. He had shown her the grand ballroom and they had shared a quick dance before one of the boys came running in and asking if they could go play with the wolves, because the grumpy man had told him no.

Of course Casavir had lectured him to respect Bishop and that the wolves were no toys but living beings that were scared and angry on their own. 

 

This evening Ruru went to bed with nervousness in her heart. She knew Casavir would be there, but in her dreams she screwed up and everything went wrong and she embarrassed Casavir. But when morning came only a sour feeling was left of that. 

 

Her maid used more time to make her hair, apply makeup and of course put on the dress. There was even a bottle of exquisite perfume and a few drops of it was used on her. 

The reflection on the mirror revealed a lady, not a bard. And Ruru could hardly believe that it was her. 

"From a farmgirl to a bard, then a dragonborn... and into a lady", she mumbled. "Gods really do have a weird sense of humour."

Her maid, however, ushered her downstairs. And Ruru did. Because she wanted to see Casavir. She wanted to be near him, so that she could tell her one more time that they would be together.  _ Tonight, my dear, till the end of time. _

 

Casavir kissed his beloved and held her close. “You look so beautiful, my Rudia.” His smile was wide and genuine. “I can’t wait to introduce you as my bride to everyone. And share the first dance with you.” There was a smirk on his lips.

 

Ruru returned the smile and wanted to just... snuggle into his embrace. "Same here. Though I must admit, I'm rather nervous. But I'll be fine. I know you'll be there for me."

 

“I will.” he kissed her again before leading her to the dining hall. 

 

Ruru was smiling the whole time. She politely conversed, remembered her manners, though, yes, she did mistakes as well, but even so she didn't let it get her down. She was loved by Casavir, and his family seemed to have accepted that already. It was more than enough to her.


	24. Chapter 24

Then, after lunch they got her ready. Never in her whole life had Ruru gotten a treatment like this. Washing, shaving, perfuming, the beautiful dress, the shoes that alone probably cost more money than she had made in all her years, the hair that now was adorned with  _ real _ jewels… It was hell for her to even think about what would happen should she lose them!

 

As soon as Ruru was released from the treatment of hassling maids, she looked at her reflection from the mirror. She couldn't believe it was her. It was someone else, and she was hiding behind the mask of that person she saw.

"Oh, Mara, please help me! Don't let me falter and don't let me make a fool of myself!" she prayed as one of the maids offered her a lace fan. She took it and held it in her right hand while with her left she ever so slightly lifted the hem so she was able to walk.

"The young lord will be astonished!" her maid praised.

Ruru just tried to remember how to breathe.

Casavir was astonished. She looked beautiful. His Rudia. His fiance. His soon-to-be wife. 

He reached out to hold her hand and delicately spin her around before enclosing her in his embrace. There were no words for anything on his mind. There was only his Rudia, looking like the goddess of beauty herself.    
“You… are so beautiful.” The words felt weak.

 

Ruru smiled and leaned against him. Her Casavir. Her darling knight. 

"Thank you", she answered. "You look quite handsome as well."

She meant it. If she was honest to herself, seeing Casavir dressed so formally had taken her breath away. Just like back then in Solitude. When she had been just a bard, playing her lute. Seeing all those ladies swooning over him. And now he was hers.

 

Casavir smiled at her. “Will you be alright in so little clothes, though? Some of the guests we may have to greet outside.” He glanced at her sleeveless dress with slight worry.

 

Ruru didn't have time to answer when her maid hurried to her, carrying a shawl made out of silver fox fur. 

"I completely forgot this, young miss. Please forgive my clumsiness!"

 

Casavir gently draped the shawl around his beloved. “No, that won’t do. You will get cold.” He pulled her close. “We best make sure you don’t get sick.” With a delicate movement he took his own cloak and put it on her shoulders. 

 

Ruru wanted to protest, but seeing the maid already brought another cloak to Casavir, she bit her tongue to silence herself.

"You worry too much, my dearest. I'm used to cold. I don't freeze so easily."

 

“And there she is again, being a moron.” it came from behind them. Bishop made his way downstairs, looking like a noble. Well, a noble with a white and a black wolf at his heels. 

 

Ruru glanced over her shoulder. 

"Don't give me that look, princess. Hypothermia is a really bad condition. So wear something warm, the air is freezing right now." Bishop said sternly.

Ruru chuckled. "You know, you'd make a great father, Bishop."

Bishop scoffed. "Well, at least I'd teach my kids to have some sense!"

 

“Would you now?” 

Drea appeared behind him, wearing a long blue dress that showed her shoulders. She had only just gotten ready. Her hair was open as always, but the maid who had helped her had applied some light makeup and sat a diadem on her head. She looked more simple than Ruru, but Bishop had not seen her since she vanished in her room with the maid and so he glanced behind him and his jaw would have fallen to the floor if the skin on his face didn't stop it. Drea looked... so gorgeous. And that was a lame way to express it. The bard looked... well... like any noble lady he had ever seen, but seeing Drea in such a formal attire made his heart jump.

"You.... you look gorgeous", Bishop was able to whisper as he extended his hand towards her.

 

Drea smiled brightly. She was afraid the dress could fall down and even more so, that the tiara that was given to her from the Lady’s jewelry, would. But the look in Bishop’s eyes was worth it. Her Bishop. 

“So you like it?”

 

"I love the way you look.... anytime, all the time", Bishop answered, still awestruck.

 

Drea kissed him lovingly. “Make sure the tiara doesn’t fall off.” she whispered, too scared to touch it. “I swear the reason I am wearing this is so I walk like a stick.”

 

"Don't worry, sweetness. I won't let you fall.... unless it's our bed", he joked quietly as he pulled Drea to his side.

 

“You look good in that.” she said now. “Now I got to be careful not to hug Casavir instead when I sneak up on you."

 

Bishop grinned. "You think you can sneak up on me, sweetness? A seasoned ranger? You're ten years too early for that!" he gently tapped her nose and then kissed it before turning to Casavir and Ruru. "So, paladin, what's the plan now? Are we just standing here like wallflowers and waiting for something to happen?"

 

“More or less.” Casavir answered. “Though I suggest we should wait in the parlour. Once the first guests arrive Rudia and I will have to greet some of them, but most of them will be greeted by my parents. You two can mainly relax, but I suggest you stay close to Rudia so she has some support.” He smiled at Ruru who was still clearly nervous. 

 

Ruru took a deep breath to calm herself... well... tried to calm herself. She returned the smile, however.

They walked to the parlour and sat down to have a light conversation.

 

Casavir knew just the right thing to calm his beloved. He left for a few minutes and once he got back he carried a small box, handing it to Ruru.

Ruru stared at the expensive looking box in slight confusion before placing it down on the coffee table and opening it to reveal exquisite pieces of chocolate. She gasped. 

"Casavir", she glanced at her beloved. "You shouldn't have. Of course, I'm grateful, but I have nothing to give in return... other than my love... "

 

Casavir smiled. “Well, you can always share with us, my love.”

 

Ruru allowed the box of chocolates to circle around first before taking one piece for herself and eating it slowly. The chocolate basically melted on her tongue and she looked happy as she ate it.

"This is so delicious!" Then she kissed Casavir's cheek. "Thank you, love."

She shared the box of chocolates with everyone. Bishop ate a few pieces, though he didn't really care for such fanciness, but it didn't hurt to be polite.

 

Drea happily stuffed her mouth, though. There hadn’t been any lunch and chocolate was the perfect replacement. 

 

"If you eat like that, sweetness, you'll get a sore stomach", Bishop said with slight worry.

 

“But it’s so delicious!” she said with a pout, but stopping. “Speaking of which, should we bring Karnwyr and Lumi upstairs?”

 

Bishop glanced at the two wolves who were laying on the floor side by side, just watching them with curious eyes. The ranger eventually nodded. "Yeah. I think it would be the best."

 

They brought the wolves back into their room. By now Lumi and Karnwyr knew the room and the smell of their friends was in there. They just lay down and snuggled up by each other’s side. Bishop had ensured they had enough water and some food and of course that they wouldn’t shred the pillows. Then they went back. Casavir and Ruru stood in the entrance hall, talking to some richly dressed people. 

 

Ruru was nervous to meet such high nobles, but she tried her best to present herself as a modest young woman. She spoke softly and politely, answered any questions honestly, and eventually she made a good first impression of herself. Her nervousness slowly dissolved. And even though many saw through her, that she wasn't exactly a noble, most arriving guests that she was introduced to were rather curious about her. It wasn't often that a woman like her would be part of the high society.

 

Casavir introduced her as his fiance, of course, but he also made sure to tell the story on how they met in Skyrim and that Rudia was the dragonborn and they had fought together and would go back to Skyrim once they were married. Ruru realized why he was doing this. To him it did not matter that she was a legend. But to those people she had to be shown as an enrichment to their society. He gave his best to tell about her hard work with learning to wield a weapon, even as such a delicate woman and that they would go through this all together. 

Through the afternoon Ruru noticed how people were talking about her, trying to get to talk to her or even trying to pull Drea or Bishop to the side to get them to become friendly. 

 

All the socializing and remembering who was who made Ruru's head spin. But she was glad that Casavir was there with her, as much as possible. 

Later at the ballroom, Ruru felt like she was going to fall if Casavir wasn't holding her. Soon the lady would announce them... and Casavir would make it official... that they were together... that they would be married come summer.

"Oh gods", she exhaled and held onto Casavir's arm a little tighter. "Just don't let me falter and embarrass myself... and you in the process."

 

He smiled to her. “Don’t worry so much. You have done great so far.” 

He looked over the dancefloor. Soon he would dance with her. He exchanged short looks with his mother who would hold a short speech and announce their bond officially and honour them with the first dance. Ruru had been told how after said first dance he would dance with his mother, to honour her and likely his father would ask her for a dance since her family could not be here today. “Are you ready, my love?” 

 

Ruru took a deep breath.  _ It's no different from a performance at a noble's home.  _  she told herself before she glanced at Casavir. "I'm ready, my dearest."

Her voice sounded determined, and she beamed a smile that stayed on her face.

 

He lead her to the first row while his mother began her speech, thanking everyone for coming, making a few innocent jokes or remarks on the happenings of the past year, encouraging the nobles to stay strong in the face of dragons roaming the land and all of that. Ruru couldn’t help but admire the lady who was so elegant in the way she spoke, how she walked the narrow line between compassion and strength, between worry and being glad.

Then she made a generous movement.

“...but for tonight, dear guests, let us all find joy and warmth in the beautiful music and the waltz amongst friends.”    
The music set in and the lights were dimmed. Casavir lead Ruru to the center of the dancefloor. He looked deep into her eyes and smiled. Then he lead his beloved Rudia over the dancefloor with perfect steps. He could feel Ruru’s nervousness, how she tried not to stumble when her legs felt weak. But he held her firmly, not letting her fall.

 

Ruru trusted Casavir. They had danced so many times before, and he would not let her fall, when her knees were about to buckle. She smiled to him lovingly, forgetting the audience around her and just stared into his eyes. 

_ Like I was playing my lute just for him, like I was singing just for him. In the meadow back home. _

 

The dance ended way too soon in her opinion, but when it did Ruru could see some people had joined the dance floor. Casavir entrusted her to his father, who gave Ruru a warm smile. He led her into the next dance. “You seem to already have made a good impression on everyone, my lady.” he praised her. “My son is lucky to have met you and been able to conquer your heart.”

 

"Thank you, milord", she answered, relieved to hear his praise. It meant that she hadn't screwed up.... yet. "It has been a long road, but I'm happy now." 

_ One two three one two three.... _ she kept counting in her head to match Casavir's father's steps, though he was just as much of a gentleman as Casavir himself. He didn't allow her to fall, even when she stumbled a little. 

"I apologize... I'm still new to dancing, though Casavir has been a great teacher."

 

The man gave her another smile. “Do not worry too much about stepping on someone’s toes. Not mine or Casavir’s at least. As my beloved Halina would say: Long dresses are good to hide wobbly legs and nervous knees. No-one will see your legs under the wide skirt, Miss Rudia. All you need to worry about is to smile and look happy. And I can say with all honesty that you do look like this is the happiest day of your life.”

 

Ruru's smile widened and she breathed out a sigh of relief. "It is, milord. It truly is! I've never been happier than I am now."

_ Maybe my wedding day will top this, but that's only to be seen. _

 

On the side of the dance floor she could see Drea and Bishop dancing. It surprised her Bishop even knew how to dance, but then again… Casavir likely had known Bishop would want to stay with Drea. She looked over the other people, seeing Casavir dancing with his mother nearby. She almost stumbled as she looked at her handsome Casavir, but was quickly lead into a figure that made her stumble look like it was intentional. 

 

She returned her gaze forward and concentrated on her steps, never forgetting her smile.  _ At least he's quick enough to save me if I fall. One two three...  _

 

When Ruru returned to Casavir’s side he gave her a gentle kiss on the back of her hand and asked her if she wanted to sit down. 

 

Ruru nodded. "Yes. And maybe have something to drink as well."

 

He lead her to a seat from where she could watch the dancing pairs. Drea and Bishop joined them, knowing they were mainly responsible for keeping Ruru look busy. Of course neither of them understood all the details, but they knew that leaving Ruru alone, even when Casavir only meant to get her a drink, would result in someone approaching her. And with her inexperience regarding all the nobles it was easily going to cause trouble.

 

Ruru opened her fan and started to cool herself with it. Though it was a chilly evening, the ballroom was so hot she thought she would suffer a heat stroke. 

"Well, princess, having fun?" Bishop asked, and he sounded surprisingly curious instead sarcastic.

Ruru glanced at him. "Yes, actually, I am having fun."

"Good." Bishop stated and then fell silent. He seemed to feel... somewhat anxious to be around so many people, but he did it for Drea... and Ruru, because she was Drea's friend.

"I was so nervous! Dancing in front of all those people...." Ruru said quietly.

 

“Poor you having to dance first. But you looked like you were enjoying yourself.” Drea smiled. 

 

Ruru beamed a smile. "I did! Because Casavir is such a divine dancer! If I wasn't so clumsy, I'd probably just glide on the dancefloor with him."

Her eyes sparkled from adoration as she said that.

 

“Or glide in-” Bishop began, but then decided to leave the innuendos for tonight. “Glide in the snow, you know... with a sleigh."

“Psht.” Drea made and then changed the topic. “So what do you think? Could get used to all this? I certainly like those strawberries. I will get some first chance I get. I need to see if they are any good.”

 

Ruru didn't know what to answer. She loved Casavir, and she appreciated all the trouble he went through to make her his fiance. But she was still a modest woman. She would have loved a small cottage somewhere, with a garden and stables for horses and other animals. Maybe a small field to work on. Simple life somewhere safe and peaceful.... once the dragon menace was dealt with.

"I... I cannot say. I like this, but I cannot say I would get used to it. At least not right away. I want to stay modest", Ruru said eventually. 

 

Casavir returned to them. He sat down next to Ruru and with a smile handed her some light wine. One of the servants placed some drinks in front of him, Drea and Bishop as well. 

 

"Thank you, love", Ruru said as she took the goblet and had a sip.

Bishop drank half of the contents of his goblet. "Wine.... is there no mead?" he complained.

 

“Bishop.” Drea whispered. “Don’t complain when you are given something.”

But Casavir already smiled. "Mead might not be the right drink for a ball, but there are different strong drinks you could choose from. Just make sure not to mix them.” He chuckled slightly. 

 

Bishop gestured a servant closer and asked for something stronger than wine. The servant left and after few minutes brought a smaller goblet of stronger drink. Bishop tasted it and nodded approvingly. "Yeah, this is better."

"Just remember not to drink too much. Nobles usually grimace to something like that." Ruru said before taking another sip.

 

“My Bishop knows when to stop.” Drea said. 

Casavir nodded. “Not only that but you will see that even nobles sometimes drink one over the thirst. You just don’t often see them getting hammered. But enough of that, what do you think, my love, should we mingle for a bit and I introduce to one or two people?”

 

Ruru placed her goblet down. "I think we should do an official round, my dearest." she said with a smile.

 

Casavir lead her around, placing the glass back in her hand with a wink. He knew Ruru was smart enough to not drink much during a conversation. The glass was merely a decoration and a little trick to show people she was a lady that did not drink rather than talk. Casavir had thought about a lot of details to make Ruru’s personality shine, a lot of them even went unnoticed by her. 

Drea and Bishop kept in the background, Bishop showing real talent of not looking like they were following Ruru. Casavir made a mental note to thank him later. For now though he lead Ruru around, introducing her to friends of the family, traders in wine, in cloth and in chocolate, the latter one easily burning a little brand in Ruru’s heart when she heard the delicious chocolate she had earlier was from them, and eventually even the emperor himself. 

 

Ruru made a deep curtesy in front of the emperor. "Your Imperial Majesty." she spoke, but nothing else as she stayed in her curtsey for a long time before rising and standing straight right next to Casavir.

 

Casavir was very pleased when he finally lead Ruru back to the dance floor. He smiled at her and quietly praised her performance this evening. 

“Speaking of performance, my love, if you would like we could arrange for you to sing for our esteemed guests if you feel comfortable to do so. I am sure they would love to hear your lovely voice.”

 

Ruru's eyes began to sparkle as she allowed Casavir to lead her into a waltz. "I would love to!" she then thought of a song or two to perform. "Yes, I think I have some songs that are appropriate to occasions like these."

One of which was a sappy love ballad, but she wanted to sing to her Casavir. To express her feelings.

 

After a few more dances she discussed her choices quietly with the Lady of the house. As Ruru suggested  _ Fear not this Night _ the lady immediately agreed, the song being perfect for the occasion, the time the people of Tamriel were going through as much as it showing Ruru’s gentle side that brought hope, not only in form of a legend but also with her voice as a young lady.

 

And so Lady du Grendwell announced to her guests that the lovely fiance of her youngest son would give them the honour of hearing her voice. Now, some of the nobles thought of the voice of the dragonborn at that and got their hopes up, yet none of them was displeased with what they were getting instead. The shy-looking young lady stepped up on the small podest in front of the musicians and silence fell over the room. 

 

Ruru began to sing, expressing hope and perseverance with each note she sang. To many her voice came as a surprise, that such a small young woman was able to sing so powerfully and beautifully. 

And she sang from the bottom of her heart, her voice was clear and pure. And she kept a smile on her face as she sang. Because she wanted to touch the hearts of these people. Maybe an impossible task on some of them, but she still tried to draw even the slightest emotion out. She sang from the compassion she felt, because she knew there were many who were suffering from the dragon attacks. But she would put a stop to it. As soon as possible.

Once the song was over, her performance was rewarded with polite and respectful applause, and Ruru thanked her audience with a deep curtsey.

 

Casavir helped her stepping down from the small podest, kissing her knuckles and smiling. “You enchanted all of their hearts, my love.” And with a chuckle he added. “I might have to worry about some serious competition now.”

 

Ruru chuckled. "No one would be able to steal me from you, my dearest. I am yours, remember?" She wanted to kiss him, but knew it wasn't appropriate in a crowd like this.

But before she was able to get any further some curious noblemen and women approached her with their questions and curious intrigue.

 

Casavir lead her away and back to the dance floor to have her to himself for a little while.

 

Ruru was grateful for that, and she smiled to Casavir as they danced. 

"Thank you! I guess that's what you call saved by the bell", she chuckled and glanced around to see many curious looks staring at her direction. But she decided to ignore them and keep eyes in Casavir's. Because this night was theirs. In a sense. Because they were now officially engaged. "I'll be really happy when we start traveling again. All this... fussing about is making me a bit anxious." She spoke quietly of her true feelings. She wasn't used to do things like these. "Then we'd have more space and peace to... be with each other."

 

He thought so, too. But just for tonight he was happy to have her right here, with his family, at this ball. 

  
  


Around midnight everyone gathered to the large windows to watch fireworks. Bishop held Drea close to his side, and Ruru was snuggling against Casavir. After the fireworks, it was time to get some sleep. 

 

Of course Casavir made sure to bring Ruru to bed in person. And to kiss her lovingly.

 

Ruru kissed him back long and lovingly. And she hoped morning would come soon.

"Good night, my Casavir. May your dreams be pleasant." she whispered as she snuggled into his embrace.

 

To her surprise Casavir did not leave her side. He kept stroking her hair and although he didn’t say a single word, just that he was being there made her feel at ease. 

 

After the maid had put her hair down, cleaned her face and after changing into her nightgown, Ruru sat down on the sofa. Thankfully the nightgown was extremely covering, so it wasn't too indecent. Though Ruru had been thinking about what it would be like with Casavir... her first time... everything... A slight blush made her cheeks glow.

 

He could see she was not all that tired, despite hassle of the past days, so he stayed, valuing the time he could spend with her right now. He knew she would let him know if she wished to go to bed and that she would even be self-determined enough to throw him out if she wished to be alone, but she didn’t. So they sat and talked about the evening, the dancing and the fireworks. And about their friends, who they both hoped had enjoyed the evening as much.

 

The maid offered a shawl to Ruru to keep her warm and after that Ruru dismissed her. Then all of her attention was on Casavir, whom she snuggled. She pressed her head against his chest after a while closed her eyes. She felt so happy and safe just to be close to him. Like this.

"If there are any open planes on Oblivion, let's move there...." she mumbled sleepily. Of course she meant it as a joke, but there was a certain wish in her tone. 

 

“To oblivion? You silly little woman.” He kissed her forehead lovingly. “Let’s stay on Nirn.”

 

Ruru snuggled closer. "Yeah. Much more beautiful landscapes anyway."

 

“Yes.” he agreed. “And there are so many people here who are good and would miss us.” He played with her hair. “I will be happy to get back on the road. But most of all I am looking forward to see your home.”

 

Ruru smiled and snuggled just a little more closer. "That little farm in the middle of nowhere. Well, we'll have to reach the Kingdom of Glenumbra, and get to Camlorn, and from there go slightly south and east to reach my home. It's a bit of a journey."

 

Casavir did a quick counting. it would take a long enough time to even get there. “Will it be alright to take your family off their work for such a long time?”

 

Ruru looked up into his eyes. "My father and mother, yes. But I don't think my big sister and brother are able to come with us if they need to take care of the farm."

 

Casavir nodded. He knew now that Ruru and he would be getting married he could help them out somewhat, but he had little experience on what that would be. And he also had to make sure that they would not be looked down upon for taking money from him or his family. But if they were anything like Ruru he wouldn’t have to worry about these things. 

 

Ruru closed her eyes again and just enjoyed the closeness she could share with Casavir.

But the next thing she realized was her maid's soft knock on the door, and she noticed she had been carried to bed and covered properly with a thick duvet. Panicked, she sat up and called the maid inside.

"Good morning, young miss. The young lord is expecting you for breakfast. I also brought you a letter, sent from the order to here since you are staying here over the holidays."

The maid brought her an envelope with her name on it, but it was surprisingly thick. Maybe it had multiple letters inside.

"Which dress would you like to wear today, young miss?"

"The green one, with gold embroidery", Ruru answered as she opened the sealed envelope and took out two sealed letters. One which had been written on simple paper and the other one was written on a quality parchment. She opened the paper one first, and read it through. It was from her parents, as she had thought. The answer to one of her previous letters, with a lot of good news. She sighed from relief as she read through it. Her family had been spared from the dragon attacks, and their harvest had been bountiful enough to sell some of it and finally add an extra room to the house with the money.

The second letter was from Captain Armand, which surprised Ruru. She had thought her letter would never reach him, but here it was. His salutations and serious advice on how to beat Lady Sonea if she was still being a bully. Ruru laughed. 

"Oh Armand. Things are so much different now. But thank you!"

Ruru's hair was combed, light makeup was applied and she got dressed into a green dress this time. The glamour from last night seemed like a dream now, but she still felt happy. Because Casavir had been there with her till she had - unfortunately - fallen asleep in the middle of their conversation.

She hurried downstairs.

 

She joined the family for breakfast. Drea and Bishop had already left with the wolves but left their best wishes for Ruru and told Casavir to just send for them if they were needed. 

Casavir gave Ruru a quick kiss before pulling out a chair for her.

 

Ruru kissed Casavir back and sat down. She noticed all of the closest family members were present. The small children were a bit too energetic to stay put for so long. Ruru smiled to them. The little girl were seemingly excited to be her flowergirl in her wedding, as their uncle had asked.

"I bet auntie will be soooo pretty! Like mommy! And grandmama."

  
  


Casavir made sure to help Ruru with everything he possibly could. There were a few days they had solely for themselves. Of course there were still a few things to make, like the clothes for Ruru and teaching her about the mistakes she had made so far, but mainly Casavir made sure to spend some time with Ruru while they had the chance. So the next afternoon he took her out for a ride through the snow, with a short stop by Drea and Bishop.

 

Ruru saw Bishop playing with the wolves outside as they arrived. She stopped her horse and watched as the man was wrestling playfully with both of them. Of course he made sure to win each round to make them realize he was their alpha.

 

Once they reached Bishop Lumi got really nervous of the horses, unsure if they were prey or not. Bishop held her back, though and greeted Ruru and Casavir. 

“Out for a little trip to get away from all the rich people?”

 

Ruru nodded. "Yes, pretty much! It's good to breathe fresh air for a change. Uh, we should probably take the horses to the stables. Lumi looks like she wants to eat them."

 

“Nah, she won’t.” Bishop ginned. He called for Drea who came running out and once seeing her friends she hugged them tightly. Lumi seemed to decide that the horses were maybe no food, but she took a great interest in Drea, following her with excitement, and then greeting the people that had come. She remembered them and gently nuzzled Ruru.

 

Ruru crouched and gently allowed Lumi to nuzzle her before she petted the wolf. "You seem to be feeling much better now that you're out here, free from the four walls."

 

“She is, but she also seems to feel good with sleeping with us upstairs.” Drea said. “I think having Karnwyr to show her everything gives her a lot of support.”

 

Ruru smiled and kept stroking Lumi till the wolf decided she had enough and ran back to Drea before she and Karnwyr started their own little chase game over the field.

Ruru straightened her back. "I hope we are not intruding. We just felt like getting on horses and ride."

 

Drea smiled. “How about we get inside and have some tea?”

“That would be lovely.” Casavir agreed.

 

Ruru agreed as well.

"I'll keep an eye on the wolves for now, sweetness. I'll come back inside once they've had enough of their crazy time.... or more like bonding time." Bishop said.

 

Drea nodded and gave Bishop a quick peck before leading her friends to the stable and then inside. Of course Casavir had made sure to bring some tea and snacks so they would not be any trouble for Drea’s family. 

 

Ruru took off her thick fur cloak, revealing a simple yet elegant blue winter dress with long sleeves and some decorative stitching on the front. Ruru's hair was neatly made so it wouldn't get into her face during riding. Ruru smiled widely as she stepped further inside. She liked the simplicity of Drea's house. It felt more homely than the large manor.  _ Country girl for life!  _

 

They enjoyed some tea and when Bishop and the wolves came back inside he only shortly remarked on Ruru being too fancy. Casavir had thought so, but Ruru was a noble lady now. Of course she would soon be fighting again, but right now was a peaceful time and so she had to be as womanly as possible. 

 

Ruru frowned to Bishop's remarks, but her expression dissolved into a gentle smile when Karnwyr came to nuzzle her as a greeting. After few pets, the black wolf conquered a spot in front of the fireplace, along with Lumi who lay down right next to him.

It warmed Ruru's heart to see them being so close.


	25. Chapter 25

The year ended with Ruru and Casavir attending the Grand Saturalia Ball in the city and spending some more days with his family. After that they prepared for their travel to High Rock. 

 

Despite the maids wishes to pack her things, Ruru wanted to pack her things herself. It made her feel a sense of closure to a chapter in her life, so that the next could start. She had been introduced as the fiancee of Casavir, and in the Grand Saturalia Ball she had felt dozens of death glares drilling to the back of her skull from all the noblewomen that had swooned over Casavir for gods know how many years now. But... he was hers. Casavir had made it perfectly clear, but even so Ruru couldn't help but feel that she had, after all, made enemies solely based on her engagement to Casavir. 

She had been careful, made a good impression, but she also knew that she had made a few mistakes. Minor, but noticeable. But right now she didn't care about them. 

After finishing her packing, she decided to wear her traveling gear instead of a dress, even though the maid insisted. 

"No, Marina, I'm going to fight dragons and the journey back is going to be long. I want to travel as the dragonborn, not as the future lady du Grendwell."

That was enough to persuade the maid, and Ruru put on her traveling clothes, she combed her hair to a tight bun on the back of her head, and she washed away the last remnants of makeup she had on. 

Ruru headed downstairs, carrying her backpack, her rapier and daggers dangled on her waist. She was ready to go.

 

Casavir couldn’t help but laugh at Ruru and the poor maid. He knew Ruru likely had given the maid a hard time alone to wear the clothes she wanted. Now the poor woman behind his beloved gave her best to apologize to Lady du Grendwell who was clearly displeased by the choice of clothing. 

He quickly stepped to Ruru and gave her a light scolding, telling her it was not necessary to wear travelling gear. 

“We will travel by carriage, Rudia. There is no need to arm yourself to the teeth.”

 

"What if there's a dragon attack on the way", Ruru questioned. "Or highwaymen decide to rob us. Better safe than sorry, my love."

 

He kissed her. “I know, but we are just leaving. It is custom to begin your journey with clothes, not armor. And no, that does count for women, not men and you will have to accept it. We might be seen by someone and then your precaution would cause trouble.” He gave the maid a wave and motioned her to get Ruru dressed in a proper way. “Don’t fuss too much, we are in a hurry.”

 

Marina bowed to Casavir and ushered Ruru back upstairs to change. 

Half an hour later Ruru came back downstairs, dressed in a green traveling dress, with her hair down and curled a little. There was even slight makeup on her face as well.

"I hope this is presentable, young lord." Marina said in a humble manner.

Ruru was pouting.

 

Casavir nodded. “Don’t pout like this, love. It won’t be for long and you will get enough opportunities to wear your armor. More than enough, so best be glad you don’t have to right now.”

Then they said their farewells and began their journey.

Drea and Bishop were frowning when the carriage arrived in front of the home of her family. 

“You said morning. It’s almost lunch time, where have you been?”

 

"Sorry. There was.... small delay on my part", Ruru confessed a bit awkwardly.

 

“Small.” Bishop stretched the word, but packed their stuff with Casavir while Drea hugged her family goodbye. 

 

Soon they continued their journey.

 

The wolves followed the carriage most of the time, only getting inside when they felt exhausted. Karnwyr took great care of his new friend. The journey to Ruru’s home went by with only few interruptions. When they reached the west of Hammerfell they could see a dragon in the distance and heard about the beast so far only stealing livestock, but it was becoming more and more troublesome.

 

Ruru looked at her friends. "We should slay it. It can't keep harassing people like this any longer!" People like her mother and father... or all the neighbours she knew. 

 

Casavir, Drea and Bishop agreed. They went to the nearest town to get some support  and more information on the dragon. 

 

Eventually four capable mercenaries and two scouts joined them to hunt the dragon down. The scouts had pinpointed the dragon's nest to the nearby hills. Ruru worried if these people would be enough, but hearing the mercenaries say that they had fought the beast before without casualties, Ruru was reassured it would be alright. Besides they had Drea, and Bishop's bow. And the wolves. It would be alright.

 

They found the dragon before it could see them, but that only lasted for a moment. And the dragon was not pleased to see the humans in his nest. He attacked them on sight, Drea protecting the group with a powerful shield. 

 

Ruru glared at the dragon as it stopped breathing fire on them and then took flight. The beast roared angrily and swooped down, and its claws were repelled by the magical shield.

"We need to get it down on the ground", Ruru said.

Two of the mercenaries, both scouts and Bishop nocked arrows. "Hit its wings, right?"

"And eyes if you can", one of the mercenaries said. "If it can't see, it can't attack us so fatally. Though I've seen it regenerate its eyesight in moments, so make it count."

 

The fight lasted for a long time, despite their combined skills. THe dragon didn’t easily get through Drea’s shield, but just as much it was able to heal itself over and over again. 

It was Casavir who finally got a chance to get on the dragon’s back and rammed his two- hander into the dragon’s skull. The massive creature fell dead before even releasing a last roar. It dropped on the ground, Casavir with it, trying not to break his neck while landing hard.

 

Ruru hurried to her beloved and carefully inspected him for injuries. Then the dead dragon burst into flames.... and strings of light engulfed Ruru's body.

She could feel the beast's memories fill her with knowledge that she could not comprehend. Thousands of human years of being the king of the skies, then killed and buried by savages in weird looking armor, then awakening again and dominating the skies and the mortals below.

As the visions ended, Ruru concentrated on healing Casavir.

"Love? Are you alright?" she looked at him worriedly.

 

Drea shushed her friend away and took care of Casavir. Although her friend was not fainting anymore she still shouldn’t perform any advanced magic when she just had sucked up a dragon’s soul. Casavir’s broken arm was healed in minutes, just as much as the scratches and any possible bruises. The man himself was more worried for Ruru, inspecting her from head to toe.

 

Ruru felt a little lightheaded, but she was alright. She said so. But as she tried to stand up, her legs gave and she stumbled dangerously. It was thanks to Bishop's quick reflexes that she didn’t hit her head on the rocks on the side of the battlefield.

"Hey! Easy now, princess", Bishop exclaimed, and Ruru could hear slight worry in his tone. "Maybe you should sit down for a bit."

"N-No... I'm fine. I just feel lightheaded." Ruru protested as the ranger firmly forced her to sit down and take a deep breath.

 

Casavir hurried to Ruru’s side and caught her in his arms. There was nothing much Drea could do about the faint feeling Ruru had, but at least they should remain here for some time. The mercenaries already gathered around the skeleton, impressed and proud to have slain the beast. 

 

Ruru leaned against Casavir and closed her eyes to stop the landscape spinning around. At least she didn't lose consciousness like the first few times. Maybe she had gotten a bit stronger. Just a bit.

 

While the others disassembled the dragon and got some of its bones and scales as trophies and in Bishop’s case to make a figure from it, Casavir stayed with Ruru and made sure she would rest. 

 

They decided to make a camp in the valley below. Ruru was still feeling a bit dizzy, but as soon as they had prepared something to eat, and once Ruru swallowed some of the stew, she felt a lot better. Maybe reliving the dragon's memories drained a lot of energy from her, and that's why she felt so faint after acquiring a dragon's soul. Maybe. Or maybe she was just a weakling that couldn't take it like the warriors of old.

 

Bishop happily sat down next to Drea and made sure she’d stay warm. It was still cold and the snow was deep, but they had each other. It made Bishop still feel like he was the luckiest man on Nirn. Casavir, sure he had the bard, and she turned out not to be all that bad, but he had Drea. And in his opinion that was the better woman. After eating he continued to carve a new figurine. A lot of them depicted a girl with a cottontail and bunny ears with a large wolf. 

Of course it was clear who those two were, but Bishop felt it was better than making humans. He wanted to carve their souls, the being inside. And after how things developed with Casavir and Ruru he already made plans for a wedding gift. 

 

They spent the night there and in the morning they returned to the town. The mercenaries informed the locals that the dragon had been slain. 

Ruru and her friends were invited to join a small party to celebrate the death of the beast. Ruru glanced at her friends with a question.

 

“One night should be alright.” Casavir said. “We need to press on by tomorrow, though, unless you want all the stress of having the wedding arranged by my mother and then needing to roll with whatever she sets up.”

 

"Dear Mara, no! We'll hurry! I want my mother and father to be there... with me. And I want you to get to know them."

 

They joined the festivities for the evening, but went to bed early. It was only a few more days until they reached the coast from where they would set over by ship.

 

As they reached the harbour, Ruru almost hoped to see the Ebenezer moored there. Armand often visited High Rock, after all. But she didn't see the ship. And Ruru felt fine with it. She just wished that Armand would come to her wedding at least.

With their passage over the bay secured, Ruru smiled as she stood by Casavir's side.

"Soon you'll see my home, my love. And meet my family. I hope you're prepared yourself."

 

“I think I am pretty much prepared for anything unless it involves my bride to already be married.” he answered with a smirk, remembering what they had been joking about the previous evening. Along their way they had shared a room whenever staying at an inn and although nothing happened other than hugs or good night kisses it had made them getting closer. 

Winter was almost at its end. The breeze that came from the sea felt warmer somehow and the first flowers already spread their heads out of the snow. A few more days on sea and they would be with her family. 

  
  


And those few days went by. On the afternoon of the next day, Ruru finally saw her home. 

 

The small stone house was modest, but it looked cozy. On the side of it was a small herbal garden, and smoke rose from the little chimney. Further from the house were barns and shacks for various animals, and beyond them were the fields that waited for the spring cultivation.

Ruru let out a squeal and her eyes became moist.

It hadn't changed at all. It was exactly as she remembered it.

As soon as the carriage stopped, Ruru hurried out and ran the rest of the distance.

"Mother! Father! I'm home!" she shouted.

Soon an elderly couple stepped outside. The woman was chubby, wrinkled with short, curly hair and the man was bald, all the years on the fields had kept him in good shape, but his age had bent his back and he had to walk with a stick.

Ruru's parents embraced their daughter, kissed her cheeks that were now wet from tears she could no longer hold in anymore.

"Our sweetheart. Our little lark", the woman sniffled as she held Ruru tightly against her.

"You're all bones, child", Ruru's father scolded almost. "What do they feed you with?"

"It's just muscle, papa." Ruru retorted before backing away and smiling through her tears.

Her parents looked behind her as Casavir, Drea, Bishop and the wolves approached them.

"You must be our Kitten's friends", Ruru's father said with a slight smirk. "Come on in, all of you. We haven't got much, but the tea is steaming, and the stew is simmering, and bread is baking. Make yourselves at home. I hope your wolves can behave themselves."

 

“Well, Lumi is quite wild.” Drea said with an apologetic smile.

Casavir waited for Ruru to introduce him. He was unsure how these things were done in families without all these rules, but he definitely didn’t want to implore the rules he grew up with on these good people. 

 

"Mama, papa, this is Drea", Ruru gestured to her friend. "I've told you about her in my letters. We met in Helgen when the dragon attacked and we've been traveling ever since. Next to her is Bishop, the rough and rugged ranger, along with his wolf companions Karnwyr and Lumi."

Both her parents shook their hands, but kept a safe distance from the wolves.

Ruru stepped next to Casavir and took his hand into hers. "And this is my beloved Casavir du Grendwell."

Both of her parents looked at Casavir awestruck. Of course they had heard about him in the letters, and from the little greeting he had written to them had given them a picture of a good hearted gentleman, but to see an actual noble on their daughter's side...

First there was an awkward silence, then Ruru's mother started to fuss and ushered them all inside.

"We have no time to stand here gawking! Inside, all of you! And you, young man", she said to Casavir. "I wish to hear everything in detail of your journey."

"Now now, Laila, calm down. You scare the poor man", Ruru's father said calmly.

"Oh, shush!"

That was the introduction ritual. Casavir, Drea and Bishop were hurried to the small living room which was also a kitchen, and Ruru's parents immediately made sure their guests were comfortable.

"And you must all be exhausted! I'll make sure you all will have a bath before dinner." Laila fussed.

"Mama... you worry too much", Ruru said and glanced at Casavir. "I'm sorry. My mother is such a busybee."

 

Drea and Bishop just laughed. She was almost exactly like Drea’s mother. 

Casavir felt a little nervous, hoping he would not screw this up. Ruru loved her family and although he knew those people were good, he had slept in the same room as Ruru before they were married. Not every family took that lightly.

 

Ruru held Casavir's hand in her own, trying to make him see it was alright.

"Now, sweetheart. Tell us everything!" Laila said as she poured tea for everyone and placed a plate full of biscuits on the small, round table. It was a surprise to see that that small table was able to fit so many people around itself.

Ruru told, about her studies in the college, about Helgen, about the dragon in Riften, about Drea and Bishop, leaving out the fact that Bishop was a werewolf as she didn't want to scare her parents; about the Greybeards, the return trip to Solitude and meeting Casavir. About the long journey to Cyrodiil, about the paladin order, about her little adventure on Armand's ship, then coming back to the order, about her training... and about her feelings towards Casavir that only just recently had bloomed.

"We're to be wed come summer", Ruru finished her story.

Both her parents looked at her and Casavir in confusion. Laila's gaze automatically wandered to Ruru's belly.

"Are you pregnant?" came the straightforward question.

 

Casavir exclaimed. “I assure you I have not done anything indecent with Ruru:” He felt his face getting warm. Drea giggled. Why would she do that? This was serious! “I would never…” he tried to defend himself.

 

Bishop snorted and muffled his laughter as well.

Ruru squeezed Casavir's hand. "I assure you, mama, it's nothing like that. We have shared a room on multiple occasions, but he hasn't done anything."

Laila looked surprised, then she nodded firmly. "If my sweetheart says so."

Ruru's father chimed in to calm the nervous knight. "Don't worry, my boy. My wife is like a hurricane, you can never know what she's up to. But believe me when I say this: You're welcome to the family."

 

Casavir nodded, still flustered. He squeezed Ruru’s hand back, ever so slightly, just to make sure she was still there. His beloved, his Ruru. He turned to her and smiled at her still somewhat nervous. Then he turned back to her father. “So you will allow me to marry your daughter?”

He had to make sure, even though they were engaged and Ruru loved him, he had to get her father’s acceptance of their union. 

 

Ruru's father smiled widely and his grey eyes sparkled. "It is about time my youngest finds a fine man to keep her safe and sound." He pat Casavir's back in a friendly manner. "You have my blessing. And Laila will give it too, once she calms down."

 

Casavir smiled at the man before Ruru snuggled right into his side as he had seen it from Andrea with Bishop. He held his beloved close and then bent to her and gave her a gentle and loving kiss. 

 

Ruru answered the kiss, and Drea and Bishop saw her parents' smiles widen and watch in adoration. It was clear that they were in love. And that's all that mattered to them.

Right before dinner Ruru's big sister and big brother with their betrothed and children came in. All of a sudden the small house felt even more cramped, but even so everyone had their plates full of stew, each had plenty of bread, and water to drink. 

Ruru's sister was a beautiful young woman, who looked a lot like her, but her eyes were blue. Ruru's brother was a huge young man with muscular body, obviously gotten from the work on the field. Their children, all still young, were smiling happily as they welcomed their long lost auntie back. 

 

Casavir felt at home, much to his own surprise, but the people around him all were friendly and had seemingly missed Ruru just as much as he would. Of course he invited all of them to their wedding, explaining that they would be compensated for the work they could not do and also that they would be provided for on the long way to Cyrodiil and back. he was sad to hear that not all of them could join them, but Ruru had told him so. 

When it got late Ruru showed him her old room. He tried to imagine what it had been like for her, growing up in this place. The thought of small Ruru even distracted him from the thought of what her family was thinking of them sleeping so close. 

Drea and Bishop asked to sleep with the wolves and Ruru’s father got them a nice place in the haystack with plenty of furs and blankets for them to stay warm.

 

Ruru's old room hadn't really changed since. She still could see the little drawings on the walls, all the flower patterns she had painted as a wee little Ruru, and the animal figurines her father had made for her from wood so she could play. There was a small table pushed against the wall and the window was covered with curtains. As Ruru opened them, she leaned to look outside the landscape. She saw the fields, and beyond them her favourite forest, where her favourite meadow resided. It felt nostalgic. To see that scenery again after such a long time away. The bed wasn't suitable for two people, but it had to suffice. Besides, sleeping close to Casavir was something she loved. 

"I'm sorry it's so.... small", Ruru said almost embarrassedly. "But I guess it's obvious by now."

 

Casavir was a little unsure if he should sleep on the floor, but Drea pushed him out of the way and heaved Ruru’s clothes into the room with Bishop. 

“Aww your room looks nice.” She looked around. “Had it all to yourself?”

 

Ruru nodded. "Yeah. My big brother and sister sleep on the second floor of the barn with their kids.... though I think this was used by them as well while I was gone."

 

Drea sank down on the chest. “Heavy... I would say you need less clothes but I guess your mother-in-law would disagree.”

Bishop grinned. “Don’t say that, sweetness. I bet you are already thinking of making more dresses for her.” 

“Maybe…” Drea smiled. She was already planning and drawing for her friend’s wedding dress.

 

They only stayed for a few days and gave Ruru’s family time to prepare. Ruru took Casavir to her favourite places in the meantime.

  
  


Ruru showed him the fields, the forests beyond... and of course the meadow she had claimed as her own as a child. The tall trees and undergrowth hid it from view, but once through, an opening where early wood anemones bloomed was revealed. 

Ruru dismounted the horse she was riding and scurried to a very old tree. She kneeled down and reached her hand inside a hole, and after a bit of fumbling blindly, she took out a small metal box. Her little treasure.

"I used to play here a lot when I was a child", she told when Casavir walked closer. "This was... my own little plane of Oblivion."

She opened the container and revealed a rough garnet about the size of a rose petal.

"I found this when I was five. There's a stream close by and I saw this shimmering in the water. It became my own little treasure which I kept here. I often played a treasure hunter and this was the greatest hidden treasure of all."

Ruru spoke while spinning the stone around her palm. Her expression was full of nostalgia.

 

Casavir smiled. To him the greatest treasure this forest had seen was Ruru herself. He tied the horses to a tree and stepped to her. “Treasure hunter, huh? Well, we could delve into another nordic ruin, but I am glad you didn’t as a child.” His arms surrounded her from behind, leaning her against himself. Her hair always smelled so nice, like mountain flowers and something exotic. 

 

She leaned against him, and lifted the gemstone at the level of her eyes to see how the light refracted.

"Can we.... come back here someday?" she asked carefully as she turned her gaze to his. 

 

“If that is what you want then I don’t see why not.” He watched the refraction in the red gemstone. “I would love to come back here one day. It is a beautiful place.”

 

Ruru smiled and nodded. "It is. Which is why I love it so much."

Her eyes wandered around the opening, and then she pointed at a tree. There was a torn, discolored ribbon tied around it. "I remember that!" she said as she scurried towards it.

"My mother had made my hair on my sister's wedding day. I was fourteen. I came here once all the festivities had become boring for me. I don't know why exactly I took this ribbon off and tied it, but... I guess I was playing or just being silly."

 

Casavir followed her, slightly disappointed she left his embrace, but curious. He listened to her sharing more about her past, her happy life and childhood. 

 

Noticing Casavir's disappointment Ruru snuggled against him and wrapped her arms around him. "My dearest Casavir."

She looked up, and she met his lips in a long, sweet kiss.

Before long it was time to return. And start the journey back to Cyrodiil.

  
  


It got a little tight in the carriage now when the wolves hopped in, but there was enough space for everyone to sit. Of course Casavir held his Ruru by his side the whole time. it was another two months for them to get back and they had Drea’s birthday along the way. 

As the carriage held in front of House du Grendwell Ruru’s parents felt humbled. Of course they had seen her beautiful dresses and heard about this place from Ruru and Casavir, but seeing it in person was different.

 

"Oh my! It's bigger than I could have imagined. I might get lost!" Laila marveled.

"I'm sure you'll be hassling the servants if you do, dear", Ruru's father said as he awed at the building. "It would fit in all the farms we know of...."

Ruru chuckled. "It awestruck me as well when I first saw it." She glanced at Casavir. "Do you think papa is allowed a room downstairs?"

"Exercice will do him good, I say!" Laila said sternly.

 

Casavir sided with Ruru’s father. He knew the old man had trouble with stairs and the house was already huge enough. So Ruru’s parents got a beautiful room in the lower part of the house. Casavir saw to their needs in person, introducing them to his family and making sure they had all they needed. He really liked her parents, who were so open and strong-willed. It was clear Ruru had gotten the best from both of them. 

 

Since Ruru had returned to the world of nobles, she had to wear dresses again, but she kept it simple and elegant. She often spent her time with her parents, and Laila especially wanted to see the greenhouse.

"Let's see if they can grow herbs properly!"

She was always a busybee, always doing something, fussing about hiding her daughter's beauty behind expensive fabric when cotton was enough. Her complaints were not taken as such. It was just motherly worry that her daughter was not happy to wear them. Ruru's father was the one calming his wife, and he praised the kind treatment they were getting even though they were only mere farmers, with limited manners.

 

They had dinner with Casavir’s parents, Drea and Bishop staying with her family again. 

Casavir made sure to, as always, sit by Ruru’s side. After dinner they sat in a reading room and discussed their wedding. 

 

"Well, she should be married in a forest, close to Kynareth and Mara", Laila was already fussing about it. 

"Mama, I'm marrying a noble. It's a temple wedding", Ruru said calmly.

"You don't like big celebrations, especially if you're the main focus, sweetheart!"

Ruru's father chimed in. "Now, now, Laila. Our little lark is old enough to decide for herself. We just have to support her."

Ruru had wished for their wedding to be held somewhere in the forest, or a garden, but lady du Grendwell had strictly informed her that the ceremony would be conducted in a temple.

"What colors are you planning, sweetheart?" Laila asked now. "Green I hope. Or blue. Violet would also go well"

 

“We thought blue would be nice.” Casavir said. He and Ruru had talked about it before, both liking the colour blue a lot. 

“Blue?” Lady du Grendwell looked disappointed. “But wouldn’t red and rose be so much more beautiful?”

 

Laila became a little hurricane the moment the lady uttered those words. She was not rude, of course, but her opinions were expressed firmly.

"Rose is for little babies! And red is the color of the pleasure streets! My daughter should wear something a little more.... feminine!"

Ruru wanted to sank deep into the ground. "Mama, please. Remember where you are."

Ruru's father chimed in as well, calming his wife once more. "Darling, let's discuss like civilized people."

"Noble skulls are thicker, husband!"

Ruru apologized on her mother's behalf. "I know she's being rather... straightforward and pressing, but please try to understand. She means no harm."

 

Casavir distracted everyone by kissing Ruru lovingly and declaring that midsummer would have a lot of colours, but a wedding in blue would make a good statement not only for being both of their favourite colour, but also because it was solid. Of course red was the colour of passion and love, but it also would make their union look more irresponsible, while blue was solid. His mother had to agree to that as well.

 

"He has a good head on his shoulders, thank Mara for that!" Laila said, praising Casavir and nodding to her daughter.

Ruru leaned against Casavir, smiling happily. 

 

He lay his hand on hers encouragingly. 

 

Lady du Grendwell glanced at Ruru. "What do you think, dear?"

"I like blue. It's one of my favourite colors. It would suit best for  _ our  _ wedding." Ruru answered.

 

“Then blue it is. Although it is a shame about the roses…”

 

"Mountain flowers are just as pretty. If you can, try to find common hepaticas as well. They are Ruru's favourite", Laila said, now calm and collected.

 

“No no, ordinary mountain flowers won’t do, dear Laila. We should go with white roses. Purity and innocence. The poor girl will already have many think she is impure for her birth, and yes, I know it is not true, she is a good young lady, but we best make sure she gets the best to have a good start into her marriage.”

 

Ruru looked a bit sheepish, because her thoughts were already in the honeymoon part.

"Of course she is pure and innocent! I told both of my daughters to choose their men wisely! And not give themselves too easily! I wanted them to be wiser than their mother!" Laila exclaimed.

 

Casavir sighed. He hadn’t expected the mere planning to be so troublesome. If colours and flowers already caused such turbulences what about the guestlist and the wedding itself?

 

Ruru felt the same as Casavir. The debate lasted for at least three hours before they had come to full conclusion about the colour and flowers. 

"Now for the guestlist!" Lady du Grendwell announced.

"As I said, my sweetheart doesn't like big crowds. I think we should keep it simple!" Laila stated firmly.

 

“We have to invite every of the bigger noble houses at least.” Lady du Grendwell insisted. “It would be rude not to.” 

Casavir nodded. “It would be. But it will only be for one day, Laila, I am sure Ruru can handle one day when I am going to be with her at all times.”

 

Laila gave a stern glare at Casavir.

"Mama! Please. I know I can handle it. It's only for one day." Ruru exclaimed. "If I stress out, I'll come to you, alright? And you can calm me down, if Casavir can't."

"Well..." Laila took a deep breath. "If our little lark says so."

"Our kitten has grown up since those times, darling", Ruru's father said with a wide, sagely smile.

 

Casavir felt so, too. She had grown. Even though he had only known her for a year by now she had become a better fighter, a woman who knew what she wanted and who did not back down on the nobles that meant to seduce her, and her manners were more that of a lady than a farmgirl. 

 

The guest list was checked upon and a few names were ruled out. Lady du Grendwell told Han to take the list to the lord of the house and send out invitations.

"Unless you wished to invite someone, dear", the lady asked from Ruru.

Ruru thought about it. She had already sent out a letter to Armand, and she truly hoped he had gotten it, and that he would come. As for anyone else... there were a few people in the college she'd like to see. 

"May I add a few friends from the college, my lady?" Ruru questioned.

 

A few more names landed on the list, along with Armand, who Casavir only knew as Ruru’s teacher, not that he was a pirate and a vampire,  and Drea and Bishop of course who Casavir and Ruru both insisted to be seated with them at the first table. 

The rest of the planning was left to Casavir’s mother, mainly because neither Ruru nor Casavir thought they would be able to stand more arguing. 

 

Ruru and Casavir both excused themselves. 

"I think I'm having a migraine", Ruru said quietly as she rubbed her temple. "Gods... I never knew planning a wedding would be this... difficult. Back on the farm it was simple and easy."

 

Casavir kissed her softly. “I think most of is due to our mothers both worrying too much. How about we just go to bed?” He held her close and stroked his thumb over her temple.

 

Ruru leaned against him and nodded. "Yes. I think I need some good night's rest."

 

With that he picked her up and carried her to her room effortlessly. He gently placed her down on the bed and with a little smirk closed the door to return to her side. 

“Relax, my little dragon.” he whispered as he sat her on his lap and leaned her against his chest. His warm hands massaged over her temples and her head.

 

Ruru was startled at first, but soon forgot everything and let Casavir slowly drive the throbbing pain away. She was enjoying it. Maybe a  _ little  _ too much, as her body reacted a bit to his touch. But she let those feelings dissolve.

"You have good hands", she praised in a whisper.  _ I wonder what miracles they might do on my body.... _

 

As she thought that his hands trailed down on her, gently stroking over her cheek, her arm, to her waist and then her leg. “You are so beautiful, my Rudia.” he whispered quietly.

 

Ruru didn't know if it was because of his touch that made her shiver or was it the resonance of his voice... either way her body reacted in a way that she had never experienced before. There was... certain yearning now. For more. So much more. 

"Casavir...." she whispered in a sultry way.

 

He moved her hair aside and his lips touched her neck, gracing it with a long and loving kiss. 

Casavir was not inexperienced with these things, but it had been a long time and Ruru was so much more to him than a passionate love of youthful days. She was his one and only, his little wild dragon, yet soft and gentle when he could only hold her. He loved her, more than what he had felt so many years ago. There was trust and warmth, the will to keep her safe and live his life with her till the end of their days.

 

Ruru released a pleasurable  _ mmm  _ when Casavir's lips caressed her. She just closed her eyes, concentrate on that feeling, let her body soak it in and remember it. Her heart was pounding. And her mind was clouded in a haze that only let her know how much Casavir meant to her.

"Casavir..." she repeated his name like a plea. Of course they wouldn't go further than this, even if she wished for it. But she just wanted him to hold her closer, love her more.

He made her feel passion. And she desired his touch.

 

He trailed his lips along the side of her throat, placing small kisses all over until he moved back up to her lips while he turned her to him, claiming her lips.

 

Ruru's whole body felt like it was being electrocuted in a sweet way when Casavir kissed her like that. She pressed herself against him, kissing him as much as he was kissing her. 

_ This might be dangerous....  _ she thought, before her thoughts were wiped away with another onslaught of Casavir tender kisses.

 

Then there was a knock on the door. 

Casavir carefully let go of her, seemingly unwilling. He walked over to the door and opened.

 

The maid, Marina, made a small bow as soon as she noticed it was the young lord. She was carrying a tray with a teapot and a cup. "Forgive me the intrusion. I heard the young miss had a headache. I brought herbal tea." 

 

Casavir nodded and let the maid in. He returned to Ruru to give her a last kiss for the night and then left her in the care of the maid.

 

Ruru was too much in a haze to realize that Casavir was gone until the door closed. Inside she pouted, but then Marina helped her out of the dress and Ruru changed to her nightgown. Marina poured some tea and Ruru drank it.

 

After the tea Ruru soon fell asleep. Her head already feld light and the pain was forgotten. Only Casavir remained on her mind as she drifted into the world of dreams.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING 
> 
> At the end of this chapter the smut will begin. - Thought I let you know before some snowflakes come complaining. The story is tagged as mature and the smut is (hopefully) tasteful. In the next chapters there will be more smut coming along, I wont give warnings out there for the reason that this is a mature story anyway and if you are a child in an adult's body stop reading here and see the real world. ;)  
> Let us know what you think of our story so far and of the smut that is coming along, I would love to hear your opinion. 
> 
> Lots of bunnily huggles  
> Drea

In the morning Ruru was woken by Marina. She was ushered to the baths and Marina helped washing her back.

Ruru's skin was still tingling from the places where Casavir had graced her. And it was such a wonderful feeling! But she yearned for more. And she knew their wedding night would be something out of this world.

"Oh, he'll drive me insane before that!" Ruru snapped quietly.

"Young miss?" Marina stopped.

"Never you mind, just thinking aloud", Ruru sighed. 

 

It didn’t even occur to Ruru that she herself was driving Casavir just as insane. He didn’t let her or anyone see it, but he longed for her. He longed for the night they would be wed and he would be allowed to be with her without restrictions, without having to leave her when she fell asleep, when he would be allowed to hold her in his arms and do so much more than kissing her…

  
  


It was two more months before the wedding. Drea and Bishop came by from time to time, especially on the nights when Bishop needed to be locked up. Drea designed Ruru’s wedding dress, having to redo it quite often, because the two mothers were still arguing about what was best, But Drea didn’t mind it too much, she was happy that she had been allowed to be the one making the dress. Not to forget that thanks to Casavir’s mother she suddenly had gotten a lot of work because there were many noble ladies that wanted a dress like Ruru had worn it at the balls. 

 

On the grand day, Ruru was woken early and ushered to the baths, where three maids washed her thoroughly. She was still half asleep when they hurried her back to her room to be treated like a porcelain doll. Her hair was made, makeup was applied, then her dress was helped on.

Ruru had never seen more beautiful dress than what Drea had made for her wedding. It was white with darker pearls and embroidered flowers and butterflies. There was also a veil in a similar fashion, that was put on last. All in all, Ruru was a sight to see once the maids had finished dressing her up.

"I'm hungry" Ruru complained, and Marina hurried to get her something to eat. Of course there would be plenty of food during the reception party, but if Ruru didn't eat anything now, she'd faint on the way to the temple.

After eating two slices of bread topped with cheese, Ruru was hurried downstairs, where her parents, Drea and Bishop waited along with the wolves.

"Oh sweetheart!" Laila sniffled as she saw Ruru being so beautiful.

"You look like a goddess, Kitten", Erik praised through a veil of tears as well.

Ruru ran to hug them dearly. "Thank you, mama and papa. I love you both so much!"

 

Drea was amazed to see how beautiful her friend looked. She herself wore a blue dress, to honour Ruru and Casavir. Much so did Bishop wear a rather noble outfit also with dark blue. 

Casavir was not there, not being allowed to see his bride before the ceremony. 

“You look amazing, Ru!” Drea said, hugging Ruru only carefully.

 

Ruru smiled. "Thank you! It's all thanks to your efforts, Drea!" she answered the hug with her own.

"Not bad at all, princess. You better be ready, though. Casavir seemed like he can't hold it much longer." Bishop smirked.

Ruru blushed. She could only agree. During the past two months she and Casavir had touched each other more and more, only to back away before things got too heated. He really wanted to cherish her till their wedding night. Because after that they could always be together. In the same room and sleep side by side.  _ Though I doubt we'd do much sleeping after this... _

"Where's the bouquet?" Laila asked.

"It will be ready at the temple", Marina informed.

 

Then they got on the carriage. Ruru and her parents on one, Drea, Bishop and Casavir’s sisters with their little flowergirls on another. The wedding would be held at the biggest temple in the Imperial City. Ruru felt terribly nervous about that, but Casavir had promised to her he would be there and he would not let her leave without her being his, forever.

 

Ruru took deep breaths to keep herself calm. When Laila saw how nervous their sweetheart was, she took her hand and softly rubbed it.

"Be calm, little lark, you're safe in your mother's arms."

Her mother repeated this over and over, till Ruru calmed down. After that Laila just held her daughter's hand in between her own. Even Erik put his on top. 

Ruru smiled to them. And she was so grateful that she'd been born to them. 

 

They arrived at the temple and the doors were opened. Erik would be the one leading his daughter into the temple, to Casavir. Drea and Bishop followed them, right after the little flowergirls. 

 

Ruru's bouquet was given to her by the door. Erik firmly lead his daughter through the aisle leaning to his walking stick, but it didn't matter. Though it was a slow approach, it made the whole thing even more special. Because through her veil Ruru could see the look in Casavir's eyes.

 

There she was. His Ruru. His bride. Casavir felt as if time was slowing down, torturing him to wait right there, holding him in place until she finally stood in front of him. He took her hands from Erik and although it was not something done amongst nobles he lead them to his lips and kissed her knuckles. He could hear some of the nobles whisper and fans being opened, but his eyes remained on Ruru. His beautiful bride. 

 

Ruru just smiled.

"Please, keep my daughter well. She means the world to me and my family." Erik said, as was the custom and then slowly walked to his place on the pew.

Ruru didn't have the time to look around and see if Armand was there, but right now she concentrated on Casavir. He was basically worshipping her. 

 

There was a long speech from the priest of Mara. A  _ very _ long speech. Casavir held Ruru’s hand in his, also something that was not done before the proper words had been exchanged. But he did not care. All he wanted was to be with her, show her that all fears she had had the past months were needless. He was here and would be for the rest of his life.

 

Ruru's heart was pounding the whole time. Her whole body was shivering from anticipation. After a small eternity the priest finally got to the part of their vows. 

 

“I do, now and forever.” Casavir answered the question, his eyes not leaving Ruru’s behind the veil.

 

The priest repeated the question, speaking to Ruru. 

"I do, now and forever." she answered in a solemn voice, her eyes not leaving Casavir's for a moment.

"Then, by the authority given to me, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

 

Casavir smiled as he carefully lifted the veil. He held Ruru’s hands and gently bent to her, kissing her long and lovingly.

 

As the crowd cheered to the newly weds, Ruru wrapped her arms around Casavir's shoulders and kissed him back with all of her love. It was done. They were finally bound together as one. After such a long, torturing time, it was finally reality. She was his, he was hers. And no other force in the whole universe could tear them apart.

 

What came then was a never-ending stream of people giving them their best wishes. From one stranger to another. Ruru watched them, only rarely remembering one of them. Lady Sonea congratulated them, Drea and Bishop, Casavir’s siblings, but she didn’t really know all those other people. Nevertheless she kept smiling and greeting them, thanking them for coming to their wedding.

 

But then, from the crowd of the "important" people, one voice woke up Ruru from her numbness.

"Good evening, lass. Ye look the loveliest bride I have ever seen in all me years."

Captain Armand made a bow as he took off his hat which was decorated with feathers. He was dressed in a red coat and white shirt with black trousers and boots. There was golden embroidery on the front and around the ends of the sleeves of the coat. 

Ruru swallowed a squeal as the sea captain marched to congratulate Casavir and her.

"Congratulations, young man. You've caught a treasure in yer hand. Better guard and keep her well."

But then Ruru's face expressed fear and panic. Casavir was a paladin. He would be able to realize that Armand was a vampire. She knew he might.... Her eyes gazed at the two men. The look on Armand's face was exposing to say the least. And Casavir... Ruru held her husband's arm a little tighter.

 

“You must be Armand, Captain Armand if I remember right.” Casavir gave the man a polite smile, not commenting on the man being a vampire. It made sense now that Rudia had such a good teacher. The man in front of them was likely quite old. But the vampire had treated her well and so he was likely a good enough man. “I have to thank you for teaching my lovely bride to wield a blade with such skill. She gave me a good chase when she returned.”

 

Armand guffawed wholeheartedly. "Aye, lad. Captain Armand, at yer humble service." He glanced at Ruru and gave her a wink. "Lover's quarrel, eh?"

Ruru chuckled. "It was... more like a clash of wills."

Armand smirked. "The pleasure was all mine. She has much potential, and I think she's just about to bloom."

The sea captain stepped in front of Ruru, but instead of a handshake, Ruru hugged him tightly.

"I missed you, Captain. I really did!" she nearly sniffled.

Armand seemed hesitant to hug her back, but eventually he just patted her back. "Aye, me and me lads did too. Thanks for the invitation, lass. May I have a dance with you later?"

Ruru stepped back and smiled widely, even though her eyes were moist. "I demand it!"

 

Casavir shook the vampires hand firmly, then bent forward a little to whisper to him. “There are a lot of paladins here today, so please make sure not to start a fight. If you have a dispute remind them that I have invited you.” He smiled and lay his arm around Ruru again. 

 

"Aye, fear not, lad, I will do me best to behave." Once more the sea captain winked to Ruru before stepping away to allow the rest of the guests to say their greetings.

Ruru's heart felt light now. And it showed on the smile she kept on.

 

The reception party was held at the du Grendwell mansion. Ruru marveled how the trees were decorated with hues of blue and white, and the interior was filled with roses and candles, especially the ballroom, which was arranged so that in the middle of it was a space for dancing, and around it were the tables, and the table where Casavir and Ruru with their closest family and friends were seated was at the other end of the room. There was another large table against the wall where many gifts, big and small, waited to be opened by the wedding couple.

The cake was tall, with at least ten tears, decorated with roses and other summer flowers. Casavir and Ruru both stood side by side and cut the first slice together, large enough for both of them to eat and enjoy.

There were speeches, music, light music, until right before the first dance, Ruru stood up, and Drea gave her her lute and Ruru walked to the podium were the other musicians were.

Ruru glanced at Casavir. 

"I know I'm supposed to have a speech as well, but since I'm far too emotional to talk coherently, especially today, I... I want to sing. Because I'm way too happy, and so much in love, that the only way I can express it is through this song I wrote..."

She started to play a short overture, before she started to sing, always keeping her gaze on Casavir.  

 

Once she finished her song and hurried back to Casavir’s side she noticed Drea and Bishop snuggling close to each other. “Seems you have not only sung about your feelings, my love.” Casavir said with a smile. “I wonder if Bishop is going to do the right thing soon.” 

He turned to look at her and bent down to give her a small kiss.

 

Ruru kissed him back. "I'm sure he will." Her gaze then wandered around the tables and saw Armand bawling his eyes out. Ruru hid her grin and chuckle behind her hand. "Aww.... I didn't know the captain had a soft spot for cheesy love ballads."

 

Casavir smiled. Even a vampire could have a soft spot.

 

Then the dance began. Casavir lead Ruru to the middle of the room, and once the music started, he led her gently into a waltz, holding her close, stealing a kiss or twenty. 

Ruru felt like she was gliding in his arms. It had taken a long time to completely keep her balance while dancing, but even if she had stumbled, Casavir would have caught her. 

"This is the happiest day of my life", she whispered to Casavir as the first waltz was ending. 

 

Casavir smiled. “Mine too, my love, mine too.” 

 

When the first dance ended he gave Ruru over to her father, who had been taught the basics of a waltz for this evening.

 

Erik carefully waltzed with Ruru, not exactly to the beat, but Ruru didn't care all too much.

"You've become such a fine young woman now, kitten. I am proud."

Ruru smiled and hugged her father while they danced. "And I'm so proud to call you my father, papa."

"I hope I can see more grandchildren!" Erik chuckled and Ruru chuckled too. "Oh, papa! I still have much to do before I can even start to think of such things!"

Erik winked. "Ah, but you never know. Your Casavir seems like the type of man who adores children."

Ruru looked flustered. She had witnessed time and again how.... natural Casavir was with his nieces and nephews. 

 

Meanwhile Casavir danced with his mother who was a lot more discreet about it, but she reminded Casavir that a lovely lady like his Rudia would not always be young and healthy to bear children. He in return reminded her that it would be hard for them to raise a child in the midst of fighting dragons. “But I am sure we will have the time to raise our own children once the worst is dealt with.” he assured her. 

 

One dance after another, and when Ruru was dancing with Armand, the sea captain showed quite polite behaviour while he led her into a waltz.

"I thought you had never.... you know... danced other than those, shall we say, boisterous sailor dances", Ruru wondered aloud as the captain made her glide on the dance floor.

"Aye, but lass, even a sea captain like meself has had a past that involved noble education. Let's leave it at that. That life belonged to a man who's been dead for years."

Ruru nodded and smiled. She was just so happy to see Armand again. 

"Lass, if ye ever need me or me crew's help, just send word. The Ebenezer will always have a place fer ye and yer friends."

Ruru hugged the captain. "Thank you, Armand! Thank you so much!"

Armand guffawed. "Aye, yer most welcome, lass. But that's not the only booty I have fer ye."

Ruru glanced at the sea captain with a question, but the man only chuckled. "Ye'll see soon, lass. Or at least when ye open yer presents."

 

That was one of the next things they were doing. Ruru had been told that no matter what the gift was they both had to make a positive remark on it, not only thanking the gift giver. 

 

Ruru started from the gifts of the closest family first, as was the custom. Because she was clever with words, even though she might have hated the gift, she always said something witty and positive about it. 

But once she realized that her mother and father had given her a box full of handmade baby clothes, she glanced at them with a frown. 

"You'll never know, little lark", Laila said firmly.

"Well, at least I know What to do with them. Eventually."  _ Like clean up my room from dust or something.  _

Next she opened the gift from Drea and Bishop.

 

Drea and Bishop had thought about a gift for a long time. Bishop had made a carved figurine for them of dragonbone and it looked amazing, but after some time they had decided to do something else, too. Given what a difficult woman Ruru could be and how Casavir was ever the gentleman they had thought it was best to give them something that would let them stick together when things went bad. Bishop had no idea really what a married couple should be like, but one morning Drea’s parents had had a really bad argument and it had scared him. He loved to be there, being a part of the family and knowing that the world was alright. So having trouble to get over this he lay awake at night and thought of what he should do. To his surprise Drea had just laughed and said they were like that and it was fine.  _ “They argue and make up. It’s a part of a good marriage.”  _ That bore the idea for the gift. 

They had worked on a small box with things of Ruru’s and Casavir’s lives. There were things from Ruru’s childhood, including the red ribbon from the forest and her favourite doll, a tea cup Casavir broke as a child, his first lost tooth, beaten out by Lady Sonea during brawl when they were kids and a simple silver ring. There was a bit of Bishop’s werewolf hair, the sheets on which Ruru had written her song for Milka and Ruru’s dress from the day they had gotten engaged. There were a lot of small items like a box of salve, a handkerchief and the notes Ruru had taken on werewolves. In the middle of the box stood a smaller one that housed the figure Bishop had made. It depictured Ruru and Casavir slaying a dragon together. It was done so well that the nobles in the front row immediately got jealous of them. Drea had enchanted the figure to even have a few shouts and the couple shielding themselves with magic.

“So you will always know why you love each other, even when it’s getting rough.”  Drea said.

 

Ruru smiled to them. "Thank you, you two. We will cherish it. And I appreciate this from the very bottom of my heart."

Next Ruru picked a small, decorative porcelain box, black pearls on the lid formed a flower pattern and she opened it.

Inside was a white silk scarf, which held a crystal necklace. The crystal was rather big, but not as big as some of the soul gems Ruru had seen. It was clear and shimmery, and when she touched it, she could feel.... some kind of power within it.

Armand stepped forward.

"That be called Gem of Magnus. It stores a spell inside it and unleashes it when the wielder wants so, without the cost of magicka. However, you can use only one spell at a time, and the Gem stores it for a limited time before it disperses on its own, so use it wisely, lass."

Ruru smiled to the sea captain. "Oh, Armand. I could never--"

"Keep it, lass. It will make me heart be at ease."

 

Casavir thanked him too, before asking Ruru if he should store a spell inside for her.

 

Ruru thought about it for awhile. "Which would be the wisest one? Shield or healing?"

 

“I would think shield.” Casavir said after thinking for a short moment. “If you wear it while you need a shield you will think of shielding yourself and then it should do exactly that without you needing to actively do it.” He looked at Armand to confirm this.

 

Armand nodded. "Yes. If you know how a shield spell works, you just think of using it and the gem will activate if stored with the spell."

 

Casavir focussed on a spell and cast it on the gemstone. The stone lit up for a moment before it went dark again. “Would you like to try it out, my love?”

 

Ruru put on the necklace and concentrated for a moment. She thought of using the shield... and there it was. The gem glimmered and enclosed her beyond a shield. 

"Oh! Wow!" Ruru gasped.

It felt effortless. The shield seemed strong and unwavering.

"Uhm how do I..." Ruru started but then the gem stopped glimmering and the shield dissolved as if she had wielded the spell herself the whole time.

"Yes, just like that, lass. Concentrate your thoughts like you're casting the spell. It's the same thing, just.... that the gem will do the work for you."

Ruru hugged Armand, and the sea captain hugged her back before letting her go. "I shouldn't steal you away from yer husband, lass."

 

“Indeed you shouldn’t, Captain.” Casavir said. “But if you do, I would appreciate it if you could teach her more about how to use a rapier.” He gently pulled Ruru a little closer. “I would be at peace if I knew my love will not run into the next draugr without the needed skill.”

 

Armand guffawed wholeheartedly. "Yes, I know the training I provided was limited, but if the lass handled herself against a trained paladin like yerself... But I can see yer point. She does have much to learn still. I gave her tools, now it's time we hone them", Armand said and glanced at Ruru. "What do ye say, lass? Do you want to come to the Ebenezer again?"

Ruru's eyes shone brightly. "Yes!"

 

Casavir smiled. “If you will have us, it would be my pleasure to accompany my love for a lesson. We should talk about it over some wine later on.”

 

Armand nodded. "I'll be waiting" The sea captain stepped aside as more guests wished to hear Ruru's witty praises on the gifts. 

 

When they were finally done it was really late already. Ruru was still confused why all of these strangers had given them gifts and why so much time was invested on opening them. Of course she wasn’t stupid, she knew the answer, yet the mere thought of having spent hours on opening gifts from strangers was astonishing to her. Even Casavir did no know all those people. 

Casavir looked at her. “You look exhausted. Would you like to have some peace and quiet for a few minutes? I am sure Mother can handle them for a little while.”

 

Ruru smiled gratefully to him. "Oh, yes, please", she looked relieved. "Let's go have a walk somewhere... maybe the garden?"

 

Casavir nodded and lead her away from the people, outside into the gardens. There were a lot of people there, too, but Casavir knew a few hidden places so his beloved could just relax for a few moments. She looked beautiful. He felt his heart beat faster when he looked at her, in the white dress that proved their union. His wife. It was a strange feeling and honestly he had become worried right before the wedding, needing a few pats on the shoulder from his older brothers. But it would be alright. He would not fail her and they would go through all hardships together. 

“That box full of memories was truly an interesting idea.” he said. “Is that something often done by common folk?”

 

Ruru thought for a moment. "Hmm.... not that I've seen many do it, but I think many couples do it. I know me and my childhood friends buried a time capsule in Aaja's apple garden. I can't remember what I put inside there. We promised to gather around when we were old and wrinkled and dig it back up. Have a last slide on the memory lane."

 

“Oh? That sounds very nostalgic. Maybe we should give this box a good place in our home as well. Once we have one that is.” He watched her carefully. They had not talked about a home yet, given how they would be traveling a lot. But He had been thinking about it. A home for them, something humble so she could be herself.

 

Ruru snuggled against Casavir's side. "Where would you like to live, my dearest? Here in Cyrodiil? Or perhaps Skyrim? I know there are a few little farms without a farmer in High Rock."

She stopped for a moment. Of course it would be a long time before she would be able to... settle down for good. She had dragons to deal with, after all.

"I would love a small cottage, with enough space for us... and if we ever have children, for them as well. And a stable for horses and maybe other animals.... and a garden for vegetables and herbs. Don't worry about it, though. I learned everything from my mama."

 

Casavir chuckled. “It might have to be big enough so we can have visitors, my love.” He thought for a little while. “Cyrodiil would be a good place, though. Unless we find a place where we would rather like to stay on our travels.”

 

Ruru looked into his eyes, and then tiptoed in order to kiss his lips. "Let's see what future brings, my dearest", she said as she returned to walk at his side, close to him with a loving smile lingering on her face. "Know that wherever our home might be, I'll be fine as long as I'm with you."

 

“And I will be fine as long as you will be there with me, as well.” He held her close. 

 

Ruru kissed him again, more passionately this time. 

 

“Have you thought about what comes next?” he asked, not letting go.

 

Ruru's cheeks became beet red and she looked sheepishly away. 

"I.... have...." she admitted quietly, with butterflies fluttering inside her stomach and her heart galloping like a wild horse.  _ Like I haven't fantasized about him every night ever since... we met. _

 

“I mean, we could return to Skyrim now and enter Ustengrav. You have learned a lot and it would be useless to wait much longer.” he added. 

 

Ruru wished that the earth would swallow her.  _ How silly of me! Of course Casavir would think practically like this. What a fool I am!  _

"Oh!" she looked at him. "Hmm, yes I think that would be the wisest course of action. Dragons aren't going to kill themselves after all."

 

He chuckled. “You were thinking of something else.”

 

Ruru snuggled against Casavir so that she was able to hide her crimson face against his chest. That's the only answer he got from her.

 

“Was it about what might happen when all our guests have left?”

 

She nodded.

 

“Are you nervous?” He kept holding her close.

 

Ruru took a deep breath. "Yes..." she whispered. "But I know you'll... show me, right? I know I'm inexperienced, so...."

 

“There is nothing to be afraid of.” he promised quietly. “We have all the time in the world from now on. I won’t push you.”

 

Ruru looked up into his eyes to make sure he spoke the truth. And of course he did. She kissed him.

"Are we really able to keep our hands off each other any longer, my darling? During these past few months there's been a lot more than just kissing, you know?"

As she spoke, her hand softly trailed along Casavir's muscles that were apparent even through his clothes. All those interrupted moments in her chamber, all those secret nooks in the mansion or here in the gardens where they would just hold each other close and touch all around to see what kind of reaction there would be.

Not to mention that little massage session after a long bath when they returned from a little riding trip.

All those moments when their passions heated and were about to explode... until Casavir had retreated or they had been interrupted.

It was just like Ruru had predicted. Casavir did drive her insane, just like she was driving him beyond the boundaries of sanity. Close enough to touch, but not enough to be one.

 

“What do you mean, we?” he teased. “I think you are falling for temptation a lot easier than I do.” He allowed himself the little lie to tease her.

 

Ruru frowned at him. "Well, fantasizing about you every night does not help much."

 

“Such indecency!” he exclaimed with a smirk. “Had I known… I would have-” he bent down and his voice changed from indignant to playful. “-stolen you away on our travels to kiss you a lot more.”

 

Ruru's cheeks flared and she looked flustered. Her heart skipped a beat... or three before it started to gallop. 

"Then why don't you do that now?" she asked as she buried herself within his embrace.

 

“Because there are still guests we have to take care of, my little dragon.” 

He smiled. 

“But we will soon have all the time to ourselves.”

 

Ruru stayed in his arms for a few more minutes, till she had calmed down. "I guess we have let them wait long enough. There's still some treats I haven't tried yet! And I want a cup of that delicious rose tea your mother bought!"

 

He nodded. “Yes, let us return.”

 

Hand in hand they walked back, mingled with the guests, ate some food, drank tea... The party was beyond expectation. Especially when Armand - encouraged by all the wine he had drunk - took a lute in his hands and played a rather wild sailor song. Not many liked it, but Ruru actually enjoyed it. She had guessed something like this might happen, especially when Armand revealed his hilarious side when wasted.

"Fair lass, yer beauty blinds me, yer words condemn me. I ask thee but one last dance before this old sea dog must return to his crew!" Armand bowed and Ruru agreed to dance with him one more time. It wasn't exactly according to custom, but she didn't care. Armand was her friend, someone she appreciated as a second father.

 

Casavir watched them from the side. She looked happy and he was glad it was that way. All the noble customs were so hard on her and he knew it was unlikely she would ever enjoy being a noble lady. But as long as they were together and she trusted him they could do this. Together. 

 

After the dance Armand placed a kiss on Ruru's knuckles, making a slight bow as he did. "Fair lass, may the gods watch over thee and yer husband. Call upon me, should ye need me help. I'm always at yer service."

"What about the training?" Ruru asked.

"If yer knight invites me to a visit... or if ye would like to come to me ship, we can discuss about it." Armand turned to look at Casavir. "What ye say, lad? Don't worry about me boys, they are bold, but not stupid. And I'm the  _ only  _ of me kind on The Ebenezer."

Armand said this quietly enough for Casavir to hear.

 

“It would be our pleasure. Perhaps in two days?” Casavir answered with a smile. “I would love to join you for a training, if you will allow it.”

 

"Aye, that I certainly would, lad. So, two days, on Ebenezer. I'll buy some good wine, and ask me cook prepare snacks."

Armand nodded and made another bow. As he straightened his back, he winked at Ruru and then wished a very good night to everyone before he marched out.

 

Casavir smiled at Ruru. “I have the feeling we might need our rapiers. Should we train tomorrow?”

 

"You're on, love!" Ruru said with a smile, her eyes sparkled with a challenge. Casavir was formidable with the two-handed sword. She had yet to witness his skills with the rapier.

 

He kissed her. “My little dragon.”

 

Ruru kissed him back, and as their lips parted, she whispered: "I want to be with you tonight. Let's sleep holding each other and wake up to the morning light together."

 

With a slight laugh he put a strawberry in her mouth. “And here I thought sleeping is the least you have on your mind when spending the night with me.” He trailed his thumb over her lips.

 

Ruru bit on the strawberry and then kissed Casavir again, sharing the taste. This time it was a more passionate kiss, almost teasing even. And the taste of strawberry really gave it a bit seductive undertone.

"Mmm..." Ruru hummed as she retreated. "Who said we'd just sleep, love?" She smirked with a playful look.

 

“You said that. But I am open for other suggestions.” he smirked. “I heard pillow fights are all the rage nowadays.” 

 

Ruru chuckled. "You think you're a match against me, the queen of pillow fights? Self-proclaimed, I should add."

 

He chuckled. “As long as you fight fair I shall do my best to win you over, my lady. But perhaps you will allow me another dance before the evening ends?”

 

Ruru nodded and quickly cleaned her face. Casavir lead her to the middle of the dance floor and once the music changed, he led her into a waltz. Ruru's heart was filled with happiness. She basically radiated. She had seen Armand again, and her mother and father and her whole family in High Rock. She was married to her knight, the noble paladin who had stolen her heart from the very first moment she'd met him. Even with the dark looming clouds of strife awaited her in the horizon of the inevitable future, today was hers... and Casavir's. Today was everything. And she would make sure to remember it.

 

As the guests one by one left Casavir lead her upstairs. His family would take care of the guests that stayed longer. He kissed Ruru lovingly. “Are you tired?”

 

Ruru leaned against him, a bit weary now, but still smiling. "Maybe just a little. I think a change of clothes might do the trick!"

Casavir nodded. “I will wait for you in my room then.” He kissed her before leaving her to Marina, who was waiting in her room. She bowed and took Ruru into her care. She helped her undress the dress, change into a nightgown, then at the mirror table she took off the veil, let her hair loose so she could comb through it and then make a loose braid for the night. Ruru washed the make up away.

"Is there anything else, young miss?" Marina asked.

"You are dismissed for now, Marina. Good night."

As Marina left, Ruru wrapped a shawl around her shoulders just in case so she wouldn't appear indecent. She hurried towards Casavir's room and knocked on his door.

"Love? May I come in?"

 

The door opened. “What if I say no now?” he was wearing something simple, too. “Will you just leave then and go to bed?”

 

Ruru looked a bit shocked, then her expression became understandable. "If you're too tired to stand my snuggliness, I'll leave you in peace." She said as she took a step back. She tried to hide the fact that those words... hurt. A little.  _ Is he afraid of something?  _

Ruru inspected the look on his face to figure it out.

 

He chuckled. “You are not taking that serious, my love, are you?” He stepped forward and lifted her up. “May I carry you inside, my lady?”

 

Ruru yelped, but then she giggled. "You tease! You had me worried!" She kissed his cheek and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "You don't even need to ask, my Casavir."

 

“Do you really think me that foolish? That I would leave you standing outside, on our wedding night no less?” 

He carried her inside. “Would you like to have some tea before we go to bed?” 

Ruru looked around. Being a good woman she had not been to his room before. It was a really nice room, richly decorated and with a large bed. There were some bookshelves and several closets made of dark wood. As she looked up she spotted a beautiful pattern of white stucco.

 

Ruru marveled at the room, before she was woken from her awestruck gaze by a kiss from Casavir. 

"Oh, right, tea. Yes, I would love some."

Ruru's eyes automatically wandered to the large bed, and her cheeks became beet red just from the mere thought of them.... sharing it tonight. Of course, she knew Casavir wouldn't do anything if she didn't want to, but... If not today, then when? She'd fight dragons, for gods know how long. Would she remain a virgin forever?

_ Stop thinking like that!  _ she scolded herself sternly.  _ It'll happen when the time is right. Don't fuss over it!  _

 

Casavir sat down next to her. He was aware of her nervousness. She had never done anything like it after all and although she knew he would never do anything she didn’t want, she was still herself, always thinking about so many possibilities. 

The tea was delicious and after the long day exactly the right thing to relax. 

He closed his eyes for a moment and relaxed against the back of the soft cushioning.

 

Ruru sipped her tea, and before long she found herself completely relaxed as well. She put her cup down on a small table and carefully snuggled against Casavir. 

It felt nice to be like this. Just like this.  _ But I can't remain a.... 'child' forever. _ she thought, and allowed that thought just dissolve into her brain matter. Nothing would happen if she wanted so, or something might happen... if she wanted.  _ Something....  _

 

Casavir held her close. He began to stroke her gently, feeling her soft skin under the cloth. His eyes stayed closed and he focused solely on her. 

 

Encouraged by Casavir's gentle caresses, she began to do it to him too. Her hands trailed along his stout chest, to his shoulders, then her thumbs traced his facial features as she gazed at him lovingly.

To Ruru there was just him at that moment. Just him and nothing else.

 

He pulled her closer, sitting her on his lap. “Would you like to go to bed?”

 

Ruru kissed him and nodded. For some reason she was having that fluttering feeling under her belly again. 

 

He took her hand and lead her to the bed, pulling the covers aside. 

 

She jumped belly first on her side and curled slightly. As soon as Casavir came next to her, she occupied his chest as her pillow.

 

He pulled her close and covered them with the blanket. Although the night was warm and the heat of the candles added to the warmth he felt it would help to calm her mind in case she was worried. His hands began to explore her curves and he smiled as she snuggled closer. “My little dragon.” He looked down to see her smile, too.

 

"My handsome knight", Ruru replied as her hand was softly exploring his body as well. She looked up sheepishly and kissed him softly. "My Casavir", she whispered.

 

He wrapped his arms around her tightly. “I love you, Rudia. More than I could ever tell you with words.” 

 

Ruru hesitated for a heartbeat before she said: "Then why don't you show me instead?"

_ I'm not making a mistake here, right?  _ her mind asked.  _ For gods' sake, no!  _ her heart screamed back.

 

“Impatient, are we?” his hands trailed down to her bottom. “Are you sure you want us to do this tonight? You know that I am not going to be angry if you prefer to sleep.”

 

Ruru chuckled. Maybe they really should just rest, think on this, just... live for a moment. Away from all this fanciness. 

Ruru kissed Casavir once more. "I love you, Casavir. If only there were enough words to tell you how much I love you, but there are no such words."

Then she snuggled against him, as tightly as was possible. "Let's rest. We have plenty of time to be together."

 

“You are not scared of me, are you?” He moved slightly to trail his hand along her face and the side of her neck. “I want to show you, my love. Show you that I will never hurt you, never do anything you don’t want. I want to hold you in my arms and…” he blushed a little as he realized that he wanted her too much to just sleep. He wanted to at least kiss her and for once not having to part because someone could see them.

 

Ruru's lips engulfed his in a passionate kiss. She pressed herself close to him, basically making him feel her curves against his side. She lifted her thigh a little and placed it against his. Maybe it was a stupid thing to do, maybe it wasn't. But Ruru had enough of hesitating. Because she wanted him. Wanted and needed because the yearning from all those times they had been interrupted had woken in her, reminding her what she could have right now.

"I'm not afraid of you", she said breathlessly. "I want..." 

 

“...us?” He looked deep into her eyes. 

 

Ruru nodded. "Yes. Us... you..."

 

He kissed her again, long and lovingly. Ruru could feel a slight pressure on her tights where his manhood began to grow. 

 

Ruru concentrated on the kiss, answering it with her own. Her yearning had set below her navel and it was clutching her bittersweetly. She knew she needed him, wanted him... She pressed herself against him, her hands tried to find a place to be, but instead she found herself just caressing him. She didn't really know what else she could do. Of course, she had read all the smutty romance novels she had been able to find, but those only hinted to such acts. She wanted to show him as well, but couldn't.  _ Maybe later I can ask... Drea... or... Mmm Casavir's kisses are so hot. _

 

As passion began to take over he carefully reached for the strings on her nightgown to undress her. He kept looking at her, hoping she wanted this as much as he. Her eyes shone brightly and he could see the plea in them to go further. This time he would not back away. They were married, allowed to share their joy and pleasure with each other. “My beautiful Rudia.” he whispered. 

 

"Casavir", Ruru's voice was sultry now, as  her hands carefully wandered down and under his shirt to feel his well built body. An impatient shiver ran down her spine as Casavir slowly loosened the strings of her gown... then he revealed more of her skin. Even though some doubt woke in her mind, it was clouded by Casavir's caresses that had become more passionate now. 

 

He kept holding her as he turned around so she lay on the bed with her back sinking into the mattress. his muscular body towered over her. He removed his shirt and gently lay down at her side, playing with the loosened strings on her nightgown. Although it was hard to wait he wanted her to know that he would, as long as she wanted it. 

 

Ruru chuckled playfully as she started to explore his body a bit closer. She trailed her fingers along the hills and groves of his abs, his perfectly shaped shoulders and biceps... he must have spent his whole life to get to this shape. Where her fingers were previously, her lips followed, placing soft and tender kisses on each part she touched. She remembered reading about this in a book, but was unsure if it would really work on a real situation... But there was barely any time for doubting thoughts now.

 

“Rudia…” his deep voice made it sound like a growl. He had to resist the urge to pin her down on the bed and get rid of the nightgown that hid her beautiful body.

 

Ruru shivered again. It was the sound of his voice. It sounded so feral and sexy. And Casavir even looked like he was about to eat her up. 

Then she did something. She took her hands off him and revealed herself to him by taking off the nightgown. It was no longer needed... unless he wanted to uncover everything by himself.

 

Casavir watched her. Her cheeks were flushed like his. He could feel it, the heat that was boiling in his whole body. Not to mention a certain part that was burning from lust. he resisted the urge to adjust it.  _ Patience. _ he reminded himself. Her pale skin looked so soft. The curves she revealed to him now lined so perfectly. 

 

Ruru blushed from embarrassment and lust that was clouding her thoughts. Casavir's gaze was traveling all over her body now, taking in her curves. Thank god she still had her underwear, but that would be eventually removed.... 

"Casavir..." she whispered, sounding a bit impatient. Then... she took his hand... and placed it on her breast with a pleading moan.

 

He gently pulled her closer first before leaning her back against his chest, sitting on the bedside. His hands cupped her breasts and massaged them softly. It was not long before he turned her around and sat her legs to the sides of his body so she rode him. Her still covered womanhood touched his desiring manhood, that was also still covered. His right hand kept massaging her breast while he kissed her passionately. Ruru could feel his pelvis slowly grinding against her body.

 

Ruru's body felt like it was being jolted by lightning. Tingling feelings crept over her skin, and the soft caresses made her moan. She felt his manhood against her growing moistness.  _ Is he... that huge?  _ her mind asked, but then it was blanked with another set of shivers and caresses that drowned her in pleasure. A moan escaped her mouth before Casavir muffled it with another passionate kiss which she answered equally.

 

He pulled her close and rolled over to get back on the bed and have her under him. His fingers played around on her pure white underwear. He wanted to take it off of her, wanted to tease her more, to make her moan more. Her voice tantalized him more even than when she sang. He plucked on her underwear, looking into her eyes with want and a silent plea.

 

Ruru's cheeks glowed flushed, and she looked into Casavir's pleading eyes. She nodded, just as eager to be teased and whatnot.

"Casavir..." she whispered pleadingly.

 

He chuckled and lead her hands to his trousers. “I’ll give you the choice what you want to get rid of first.”

 

Ruru swallowed visibly... and then slowly took his trousers off. The sight of his... erection made her insides feel like being squeezed... and her womanhood seemed to yearn for it already by aching a little. She hurriedly gazed back into Casavir's eyes. There was no fear, however. Maybe curiosity mixed with lust and want.

 

Just then he lay his hands on her again. “Will you allow me to take you, my love?” he asked huskily. He opened her underwear, undressing her top while he kissed her right breast.

 

Ruru's heart jumped in her chest, then she felt his caresses again. Her lust and want grew to a flame that was scorching her.

"Yes!" she breathed out. "Make me yours, Casavir."

There was impatient undertone in her voice now. She held onto him, pressed herself against him, begging. "I want..."

 

“Yes, my love?” he asked as he trailed both of his hands over the thin cloth of her last remaining piece of clothing. The tease was apparent in his voice and he bent down to kiss her mons veneris. 

 

Ruru moaned  as her whole body seemed to tingle and jolt from the small lightning strikes Casavir's touch was giving to her. 

"I want..." she breathed out again. "I want you... to take me."

 

He removed the underwear, pulling it down all the way along her legs before returning to her. The tip of his manhood pressed against her womanhood lightly. He held himself on his arms, worrying to go too fast.

 

Ruru looked into his eyes, smiling reassuringly. She wasn't afraid. She wanted this to happen. To be completely his. To feel him. To love him. She softly caressed his cheek, feeling him push a little bit more. She kissed him on the lips. 

"Love me, Casavir. Show me." she pleaded with a whisper in his ear. 

 

He pushed, sliding away as she was too moist. They both chuckled as he helped with his hand, guiding his manhood inside. Her tightness made him go silent as he tried not to lose it already. He slid in deeper, watching her face for any signs of pain.

 

Ruru gasped when she felt him slide inside her. There was... slight pain, but it was... it felt sweet. Maybe her mind was already so soaked with lust that she couldn't tell the difference. All she cared about now was him... and their bodies that were now completely one. Ruru moaned slightly as she moved a bit. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders and she kissed him.

"Love me", she whispered pleadingly. She could feel him, all warm and throbbing. Even if there was pain, it wasn't as bad as she had thought. Ruru relaxed a little, and the pain was gone. She moaned impatiently, almost beggin for him to move.

 

He took her invitation and went deeper, pulling out slightly when he worried she felt pain, but only to slide himself in deeper. He couldn’t help wanting more and more. While he slid in and out and went faster and faster he watched her beautiful face. 

 

Ruru closed her eyes, moaned his name over and over as he moved. She held onto him tightly and lovingly, tried to follow his movements, but in the end the pleasure was all too much to take. Something... a powerful feeling was building somewhere in the middle of her and it grew and grew with each caress, with each movement. She threw her head back, arched herself against him, only to notice Casavir was reaching right at the end of her. 

That feeling burst and spread all over her body, she clinged to him and moaned loudly. She had never experienced anything like this before.

 

Casavir pulled out before he came. He knew it would have been difficult if she got pregnant, but he pulled her close and kissed her lovingly. 

 

Ruru snuggled against him, still enjoying the last remnants of heat. Casavir's body felt so warm and secure.

"I love you", she said and then looked into his eyes as she caressed him. "Did you feel it too?"

 

He lead her hand to his manhood that was still throbbing. “Will you finish it? I don’t want to get you pregnant.” He saw her face and quickly added. “Not yet., I mean.”

 

Ruru hesitated, but then softly caressed Casavir's erection, eventually adding her other hand into the mix. She wasn't exactly sure how these things were done, but she tried to give him pleasure as well as she could.  _ Maybe Drea can help me... I want to learn... a bit. _

"Maybe I should buy those potions I hear women use to prevent unwanted pregnancies", she whispered more to herself than anyone. She realized she was talking rather unsexy things while pleasuring her husband. She kissed him as she caressed him harder and harder.

 

“M-hm.” he just answered as he felt her soft hands around his erection. He pulled her closer to feel her soft body and squeezed her bottom slightly, holding on to her. He urged her to move faster before he lost himself to her touch.

 

Ruru kissed him again and moved her hands faster on his manhood. It was so hot, so hard and thick and... She blushed slightly, as she thought of putting it back inside of her, but resisted that idea. She didn't have those potions, and pregnancy was the worst thing that could happen to her right now. 

_ Babies when we've settled down somewhere.  _ she decided solemnly. 

She kissed him over and over. Caressed him even harder.

"My darling Casavir", she whispered into his ear in a seductive voice.

 

As he came he released his semen over her hand, he kept holding her close, kissing her softly. When he opened his eyes again she carefully removed her hand from him, blushing deeply while she looked at her hand.

 

Ruru stared at... the sticky white stuff on her hand, and got up to wash it off. She really didn't know what else to do with it. As soon as she was done, she hurried back to be in Casavir's arms.

 

He pulled her close. “Icky?” he asked with a gentle smile. “I hope I was not too rough.”

 

Ruru kissed his shoulder. "Icky, yes. Rough... no. It felt good. Amazing in fact. I hope... you felt the same. Be honest!"

 

“I think it is rather obvious how it felt for me.” He kissed her again. “But I’m always willing to do it again. My little dragon. My sweet wife.”

 

Ruru smiled, relieved to hear his words. She trailed her hand to his manhood again and softly caressed it. "Maybe one more time?" she looked at him with a playful and seductive smirk.

 

He chuckled. “I think we’ll have to wait until my manhood is less exhausted." Ruru looked at it with a blush and noticed how it got smaller. “But that leaves time for me to hold you.” he whispered into her ear, pressing her against himself tightly.

 

Ruru wrapped her arms around him, and completely snuggled against him. She was smiling in his arms. Utterly happy, maybe a little exhausted, but also excited. Like she was about to leap from a mountain top, but the mere idea of climbing on top of it was absurd. She wanted Casavir, nothing else. Just being here in his arms. Then she began to hum a verse from the song she had performed at the reception party. 

".... At sweet night you are my own...." was the only part Casavir could clearly hear.

 

He pulled the covers over them again and caressed her gently. 

“For the rest of our lives, my love.” he agreed.

 

"Mmm...." Ruru mumbled sleepily as she snuggled right against him. "I prefer it to be much longer than that, my darling. Much longer. So... let's find each other in the next life as well."

Ruru fumbled around and finally was able to hold Casavir's hand in her own... though his hand was larger than hers. She just smiled as she curled against him.

 

He kept holding her close. The candles were still burning and Casavir considered getting up to put them out. But that would have meant letting go of her so he decided to, just this once, use magic to put them out.


	27. Chapter 27

Ruru woke up to a polite knock on the door. She opened her eyes slightly, meeting a sight of Casavir's peaceful face.  _ So it wasn't a dream after all.  _ Her hand softly caressed his cheek, while the knock repeated on the door. 

Casavir opened his eyes. He smiled the moment he saw Ruru. “Awake already, my little dragon?”

 

Ruru snuggled against him. "Drive away whoever is knocking at the door." she said.

The knock repeated once more. "Young lord?" It was Han's voice.

Ruru's heart jumped and she panicked. Should she hide? Should she.... but they were married. This was alright now, right? Being in the same room as him, being in his arms. It was alright now.

 

“I should open the door.” he gently kissed her before leaving her side and reaching for a morning gown to cover his naked body. “Just snuggle in, my love. I’ll be back in a moment.”

He was not sure if that was really the case. If Han was the one knocking that meant something important had come up. He opened the door.

 

To Casavir's surprise Han stood there with two maids, who were carrying trays full of food.

"It is already noon, young lord. I took the liberty of bringing you and your lovely wife some brunch to bed." 

One of the maids was Marina, who was also carrying a proper dress on her arm.

"You two deserve a peaceful day together, if you allow me to express it so boldly, young lord." Han stated.

 

Casavir let the butler and the maids enter, after making sure Ruru was covered with the blanket. He thanked Han for this, still somewhat surprised that it had not been as usual that only the maids would bring whatever they had been told to. But perhaps it was because this was their first day as a married couple. He could imagine his parents wanting to know what might have happened from their trusted butler.

 

Once Ruru realized people were going to come in, she pulled the blanket right up to her ears.

The maids put the trays down on the larger table by the windows with some comfy looking reading chairs, and only Marina stayed to help Ruru put on the dress.

Ruru was a bit embarrassed, as she saw her nightgown laying on the floor, along with her underwear, but luckily Marina had been wise enough to bring her new ones. Behind the changing screen Marina said nothing, she had no questioning looks or anything, she just did her usual work.

"If young miss needs anything else..." Marina said after finishing making Ruru's hair into a bun.

"You're dismissed, Marina. Thank you."

Marina cleaned the nightgown and the underwear without another word, and before she exited the room, she bowed to Casavir and left.

Ruru stepped from behind the changing screen, wearing a gorgeous red dress.

 

Casavir smiled at her. He would have wanted to stay in bed with her for just a little bit longer, but given that she had given no complaints about getting dressed she probably didn’t want that. He hid his disappointment and kissed her. 

“I should get dressed, too.” Then he vanished behind the changing screen.

 

Little did Casavir know that Ruru had wanted to just cuddle on the bed, but because she didn't know the noble customs too well, she just had come to the conclusion that she would have to look decent on a day like this. 

"Casavir?" she called out. "Can we cuddle on the bed later?" she asked carefully, and Casavir could hear the slight blush that spread on her cheeks.

 

His confused face appeared from behind the screen. “After you already got dressed?” He chuckled.

 

Ruru had a smirk on her face, though she looked sheepish. "Makes it all the more fun to undress and uncover all the loveliness, don't you think?"

 

He stepped out, only wearing underwear, and came over. With a few steps he was with her, pulling her into his arms. “Why did you cover up in the first place when you want me to undress you again?”

 

Ruru chuckled and snuggled against him. "Hmm.... I could always take it off... cut the hem shorter... And cause your mother to have a heart attack."

 

“How much shorter are we talking?” There was a playful smirk in his eyes.

 

Ruru stepped back and looked at her dress. After a while she showed a length that barely would cover her underwear. She looked at Casavir with a playful, teasing expression. "Or shorter?"

 

Casavir laughed. “Well… my mentors said there is always room for improvement. Always.” He followed her to take her hands. “I think we should have breakfast and then take a little walk. As much as I want to keep you in bed all day, we hardly can go back now. But there is always a next time from now on, isn’t there?” He lead her hands to his lips and placed a soft kiss on them.

 

Ruru smiled lovingly. "Yes, my love. There's always another night we can share together."

They sat down to eat and drink some tea. Ruru sipped her rose tea, enjoying the soft texture it had. She glanced outside the window, looking at the garden and the city beyond. The day was clear, though some rain clouds loomed in the far horizon. She looked at the clouds, one of them was shaped like a dragon spreading its wings and opening its mouth to breath fire. A dragon. The reminder that she'd need to go out and fight.

 

Casavir, now fully dressed, noticed nothing of her dark thoughts. He drank some tea himself and thought of the things that were to come next. Ruru had insisted they would get back to Skyrim soon, not wanting to waste time. He was not sure if that was because she wanted to get away from having to be a noble or because she had grown into her role as the dragonborn. There were no plans for their honeymoon, Ruru having denied them and pointed out they would be together anyway while they travelled. But Casavir knew she secretly wanted a honeymoon. She was a romantic woman after all. Having travelled around Skyrim for some time before he had stayed around Solitude he knew of a few places he could take her to. It would not be exactly a honeymoon, but he would make sure to find time they could spend together, without any dragonborn business.

 

Ruru's eyes wandered to Casavir, seeing him thoughtful as ever.

"What's on your mind, love?" she asked before biting into a biscuit to compliment the taste of tea.

 

“Our upcoming journey back to Skyrim.” he stated truthfully. “Perhaps we should make sure to pack everything before seeing your friend the Captain. That way we can start right after tomorrow.”

 

Ruru nodded. "Yes, I agree." Then she hesitated for a moment, before she asked. "What are your opinions on the Captain? I'm sorry I didn't reveal he was a vampire to you earlier. I thought you'd get worried. He's really a good person, Casavir. As you saw."

 

“You should have told me earlier, but I can see why you hid it. Just… next time please tell me such things. You knew a lot of the guests were able to see him for what he is. It could have caused a lot of problems.” he said quietly. “But as for his personality… He seems to be a good enough man. Although his choice of music was… special.” Casavir chuckled. 

 

Ruru looked apologetic but she smiled and took Casavir's hand into her own. "I'm sorry I kept his... appearance secret. I was just... worried that you might...." she didn't finish her sentence. All of a sudden she was back in Skyrim, seeing that burned corpse of a man who had owned that beautiful silver ring with diamonds. She still had it, of course, hidden in her things, though she had thought to give it to Armand. Maybe he would know better who this Gabriella was, and if by chance she was still alive. Or at least someone in the man's... Lucias' family.

She shook the vision away. Casavir had done the right thing, but the man on that day had not hurt her, only put her to sleep. Of course she was wise enough to make sure nothing terrible had happened. And Casavir had made sure... 

"Let's talk about some other things", she suggested.

 

He nodded. “We should let Bishop and Andrea know we will get going in two days. I also suggest we do not travel by carriage. As the dragonborn you will be able to pass the border to help repelling the dragon menace and I have some papers readied to ensure we can travel freely, but a carriage is slow when we have to deal with bandits, that are likely to sprout with the civil war in Skyrim.”

There was a pause. “Oh, and we should let Sonea know if you wish to have her traveling with us. She will be staying for a few days, so we could ask her right now, if you wish her to come along.”

 

Ruru thought about it for awhile. She knew Sonea was an excellent warrior, and a harsh teacher, and during their lessons she had come to respect her, forgetting her grudge against her. If she was being completely honest, it was all thanks to Lady Sonea that she had been able to overcome her pride and humble herself. Much like Armand had done, but Sonea had been even harder on her in that matter.

"If Lady Sonea wants to come along, I will not deny it to her. I respect her, and there's always a chance that I need some extra training."

 

Casavir nodded in agreement. “Then we should finish our breakfast, or rather lunch, and talk to her.”

  
  


After their brunch, Casavir lead Ruru downstairs. Ruru could hear her mother scolding a maid in a nearby room, but she couldn't hear the exact words.  _ Poor maid. My mother is so handful at times. I hope my father can keep her in check. _

They found lady Sonea in the large study room, reading a book. They talked about the journey to Skyrim and asked Lady Sonea to come along if she wished. 

 

Of course she said yes. After that Casavir took Ruru for a ride on the horses. Gelda had been brought to the manor and Ruru was happy to ride with her again.

The next day they visited Armand on his ship.

 

Ruru eyed around the Ebenezer, seeing the crew working on the deck. Some even greeted her with a wave before continuing their assignment. Ruru walked to the captain's cabin and knocked on the door. The day was cloudy, but there was no rain, but even a vampire would be careful not to stay outside too long.

Armand opened the door and welcomed Casavir and Ruru.

"Ye look radiant, lass. That pleases me eyes. You too, lad. Please, come in!"

Ruru smiled and entered the cabin, feeling a bit nostalgic to see it once more. 

 

Casavir looked around with interest. Not only as Ruru’s husband, but also as a paladin. Although the captain made the impression to be a good vampire Casavir did not forget his duty as a paladin to make sure he was what he claimed. He used life and undead detect spells to scan the ship.

 

The only undead was Armand, the crew was human. Nothing indicated that Armand had skeletons in his closet. 

"Aye, lad, even a vampire can be good as long as he remembers his humanity. There are not many of me kind. I was, of course, no better than those who lose their soul to the taste of blood, but there was a man who taught me to remember. And ever since I have. It's been...." he seemed to think hard on the years. "Over four centuries."

This surprised Ruru. She had never thought of Armand's age. He was young looking, and rather flirty, but to travel around the world for so many countless years...

"Don't you ever get... bored of it, Armand?" she questioned. "Four hundred years is a long time..."

Armand guffawed as he corked the bottle of fine wine and poured some in clear crystal goblets that were lined with gold.

"Ah, lass. If ye was a sea dog like meself, ye'd understand that my mistress, the sea, is keeping me always on edge."

 

Casavir went light on the wine, remembering that they wanted to train later on.

 

Ruru only sipped the wine, not taking too much. Armand, however, downed half the bottle while they spoke about this and that.

"Well, me mateys, shall we see to yer training? I see you have a rapier as well, lad."

 

“Yes.” Casavir said simply. “I might as well renew my knowledge when I get such an opportunity.”

 

Casavir surprised Ruru. She had not seen him ever fighting with a rapier and yet he was better than her. It bugged her a little, but she made a silent vow to get better than him. Armand however beat Casavir more often than Casavir beat Armand.

 

"Aye, you got a good form, lad. Ye should practice with yer lovely wife." Armand praised after he had beaten Casavir down once again. Then the captain glanced at Ruru. "Over here, lass, let me teach you some new things. Practise them with yer husband. Ya know how to use a parrying dagger, right?"

Ruru nodded. 

"Good, then this will be easier." Armand smirked as he started to teach Ruru. He made her repeat the steps slowly, then they practised them in a fight, slowly at first till Ruru had the muscle memory and they went faster.

Armand looked proud, to Casavir's surprise. It was like a father teaching a daughter, or something like that. Casavir realized that Ruru had been in good hands back in the day. That this man probably was the better teacher for her for a start. Patient, firm, not too harsh, but still demanding.

"Very good, lass, very good!" Armand praised once Ruru was too exhausted to raise her sword to another swing.

 

Casavir smiled. Although he noticed the lewd looks of the crew toward her he knew none would are touching her. He went over and helped Ruru up, placing a soft kiss on her lips before just holding her close. He applied some salve to her scratches and kissed her again. “No magic.” he teased her.

 

"Other than you making love to me tonight", she winked and kissed Casavir passionately.

Armand guffawed. "Ah, young love!"

 

“I wonder if you’ll be able to, as exhausted as you are.” he said calmly.

 

Ruru snuggled against Casavir and then glanced over at Armand. "Thank you so much, Captain. I truly appreciate this."

Armand took off his hat and bowed in a polite manner. "The pleasure was all mine, lass. If there's anything else this old sea dog can do for ye, don't hesitate to ask."

Ruru just smiled, then let go of Casavir and hugged Armand. "I'll hold your word on that, Captain. May the winds ever favour your ship, and may the sea keep you safe."

Armand smiled and hugged the woman back in a friendly way.... or maybe it was more fatherly than friendly. His smile was that of a proud father rather than a hot-headed vampire sea captain.

Ruru backed away and wiped her cheek quickly.

"Aww, lass, don't shed yer tears fer this. It's not a goodbye, ye silly." Armand said and before he was able to offer his handkerchief, Casavir was already at her side.

Ruru sniffled. "I'm sorry. I just feel like... it'll be a long time before I see you again."

Armand just smiled. "Who knows, maybe we'll meet in Skyrim. I am sailing there next."

 

Casavir smiled. “I hope we will. Stay safe, Ser Armand.”

When Ruru and Casavir left Ruru felt down, but Casavir managed to cheer her up with some cake. Chocolate cake.

 

Ruru's eyes started to shine and she took a bite of the delicious looking cake. It basically melted in her mouth and her sadness melted along with it. She could also feel her muscles aching and become sore now that the whole training session was over.

"Armand really can give a good work out! Not to mention that I also had to do some work to earn my keep on the ship. But it gave me muscles! And a snappy tongue."

 

“You had that before.” Casavir chuckled. “Long before.”

 

Ruru laughed and sipped some tea. "I know. I just got to use it on the ship a bit more."


End file.
